"You Feel It Just Below the Ribs" by Jeffrey Cranor & Janina Matthewson

[tirepanted3]

My heart was racing. Did Meg mean that I was in danger?

Was the meeting a pretext to get me into carpentry? There was no way I could follow up without putting her in danger too. I could either believe her or not.

If she was right, was I safe even now? If Rosemary was determined to take me below, then she would have put measures in place to prevent my leaving. Would she have people keeping an eye on me? What would they do to me if I tried to get away?

I don't know how long I stood there, frozen. Eventually something moved in the corner of my eye, and I looked up.

Through my office window, I saw Rosemary walking across the parking lot toward her car. She looked up and noticed me.

She smiled and gave me a cheery wave, and it felt like my heart stopped dead. She got into her car and drove away.

She must have a meeting, I thought. A lunch, perhaps, with some official or other. Something sketchy.

And then I saw someone else. A security nurse. Not just any security nurse - the one who escorted me from the cell-block when I discovered the basement levels. Anjelica.

She was standing in the parking lot smoking a cigarette.

Suddenly, my mind felt clear. If Rosemary had someone watching me, surely it would be her. I quickly unlocked a cabinet and searched through my medical supplies for what I needed. I went back to the window.

She was still there, and no one else was around.

I pushed up the window and waved her over.

"Anjelica," I called. "Sorry to interrupt your break - can you come over for a moment?"

She eyed me for a moment and walked slowly to my window.

"What?" she said. Just as sullen as I remembered.

"Oh, it's nothing important really. I'm just hoping you could help," I said, babbling a bit, trying to seem like the doddering old woman Rosemary had no doubt painted me as. "I need to clarify a few things regarding some patients. And I need to check Rosemary's files on them, because I'm sure something's missing from mine, and I don't want to accuse anyone of stealing, of course . .. But, you know, I don't know what else could have happened, and I need to clear it up as soon as possible, but I just saw her leave, and I know you're one of her most trusted security nurses, so I wondered if you have access-" And I brought up my hand as swiftly and fluidly as I could, plunging a needle into her neck and pumping her full of morphine. She dropped to the ground, her cigarette still dangling from her mouth.

I didn't take any time to think about what I was doing. I locked the door of my office, grabbed everything I needed, and clambered out through the window. I wish I could say I did so with ease and grace and what-have-you. But I was not as young as I once was.

I dragged the nurse - Anjelica - I dragged Anjelica around the corner of my office, into a small space between the buildings. I quickly swapped my clothes for her nurse's scrubs, coiled my gray hair under her hat, and took her keycard just in case.

I thought about heading to my car - but if it was missing from the parking lot, it would give me away. I took a moment to be thankful for whatever instinct had told me to mail the tapes before I came to work. I snuck around the sides of the building until I got to a place where the trees pressed in close. Then I struck out into the woods.

I wanted to put distance between myself and the facility before I tried to get help, but I knew the longer it took, the greater the chance that Rosemary would be the one to find me. I did not want to be walking away from the facility while she was driving back toward it.

I did not want to think about what would happen if she found me.