Making Waves by Wacking a WAC II

[cardenio1611]

This is a continuation of the 1940 (fictional) film Making Waves by Wacking a Wac starring Lucille Ball as Lt. Annie Todd, Joan Davis as Seawoman Taffy Puss, and Agnes Moorehead as the WAVE commanding officer. When we left them, Taffy had knocked Annie out, switched clothes with her, and arranged for Annie to be picked up by the shore patrol and brought to the ship for embarkation that evening. We last saw Taffy in a WAC officer's uniform walking through town to the gate with Annie's leave orders in her jacket. We begin with Annie, unconscious and stinking of liquor in a sailor's uniform, being brought in a wheel-barrel to the dock by two male members of the shore patrol. They ask a female shore patrol officer, SP Liz St. John, played by Carol Landis, who is also a blonde and beautiful, to watch out for the unconscious WAVE.

Liz goes into the shed on the docks to sort through directives and keeps an eye on Annie in the wheel-barrell outside. Suddenly, Annie wakes up, and shouts, "Ay! What happened!" Liz runs out and says, "Take it easy, sweetheart. Everything's fine. You just had too much to drink."

Annie shakes her head, trying to remember. "I didn't have anything to drink. Somebody hit me." She looks down and sees what she is wearing. "And stole my uniform. I'm going to find her," she says, struggling to get out of the wheel-barrel."

"Hold it, honey. You aren't going anywhere! You're going to stay here until you ship out--"

"I'm not getting on any ship!", Annie yells, struggling.

Liz takes her night stick off her belt. "I don't want to hurt you, honey, but I may have to put you to sleep for a while!"

"No you won't," Annie shouts, reaches up, grabs Liz by the neck and flips her over her shoulder. Liz lands on her behind, dazed. Annie reaches for the night-stick that has fallen on the floor, picks it up, raises it high, and says, "Sorry, but I can't stay in this uniform!" She raps Liz on the top of her head. Liz's eyes glaze over, her head falls back and rests against the wheel-barrel. Annie jumps out of the wheel-barrel, drags Liz in to the shed and closes and locks the door.

She puts Liz in a chair and starts undressing her, starting with her tie. "I am sorry about this--." Annie stops, not knowing her name, and spies Liz's dogtags. She pulls them off and reads the name. "Liz," she continues. "I'm sorry about this. But I can't walk around in this uniform without being thrown onto this ship." She unzips Liz's trousers and pulls them down. But I'm going to try and make sure you don't end up on this ship either." She looks down at Liz, who is now in her bra and panties. "I'm going to let you keep you underwear, but I am going to have to dress you in these," she says, pulling off Taffy's navy top, pants, white socks and sneakers and putting them on Liz. "I'm going to keep mine--that is, hers," she says, gesturing at the bra and panties that carry the stenciled name, "Puss." Quickly, she dresses in Liz's shore patrol uniform. Then she remembers to take off the dog-tags from around her neck. She picks up Liz's from the floor and puts Liz's and Taffy's in her jacket side pocket.

Taffy is walking back and forth near the gatehouse. She'll start to follow a handsome soldier and then when a beautiful woman passes in the other direction she follows her, obviously still struggling with the sensations she felt when she saw Annie naked. Annie comes up behind her, next to a temporary building. She opens the door, sees that the building is empty, and then taps Taffy on the shoulder. Taffy turns around and recognizes Annie. "You!", she says. "Me!", Annie says, whipping out the night stick and banging Taffy on the forehead. The sound of birdies and Taffy falls forward into Annie's arms. Annie drags Taffy inside and closes the door.

Annie puts Taffy into a chair and strips her completely. The first thing she does is remove her dog-tag from Taffy's neck and put it around her own. From her jacket pocket, she removes Liz's and Taffy's dog-tags and hangs them both around Taffy's neck. Then she puts on her own underwear, with "Todd" stencilled on it and dresses Taffy in the underwear labeled "Puss." This re-dressing appears to revive Taffy, who looks at Annie and again shouts, "You!" Annie picks up the night-stick from the floor and shoves it into Taffy's open mouth. "Keep quiet or this will go through the back of your head and out the gate!", Annie hisses. "Are you going to be quiet?" Taffy's eyes are bugging out. She nods, and it hurts. "I'm going to take it out now. All right?" Taffy nods again, and it hurts. Annie yanks the night-stick out, and Taffy immediately reaches up and holds her front teeth in pain. Annie raises the night-stick up and says, "This is for knocking me out!" She whacks Taffy on her forehead, and Taffy slumps down unconscious with her eyes and mouth open. Annie raises the stick again and brings it down. "And this is for stealing my clothes!" Taffy slumps down even more. "And this is for--nothin'", Annie says, whacking Taffy a third time. Taffy slumps even further in her chair, her eyes crossed, her tongue sicking out of the side of her mouth. Annie looks at Taffy and says, "I wonder if I should have worried about brain damage? Nah, it never happened to the Three Stooges." She turns to the camera. "Or did it?"

Annie dresses in her own uniform, just as she hears vehicles driving by. She runs out and sees a procession of jeeps including one with the WAVE commanding officer. Annie waves her arms and shouts, "Help! Help!" The jeeps stop, Annie runs inside the building, and is followed by the two male show patrol officers and the WAVE commanding officer. They see Taffy unconscious in her underwear in the chair. "What the--", one of the shore patrol starts to say.

"I need your help," Annie says.

"Hey, aren't you the WAC that showed us that drunken WAVE?", one of the men says.

Annie thinks a second. She's improvising. "Ah, yes. That was me. And then later I saw her running in the shadows carrying this short patrol uniform," she says, pointing at Liz's uniform on the floor. "I followed her in and saw her changing into the uniform. Knowing she wasn't shore patrol, I picked up the stick and knocked her out."

The WAVE commander gingerly fingers the two dog-tags around Taffy's neck. "And what are these?"

One of the shore patrol examines them. "One says Seawoman Puss and the other Shore Patrol Officer St. John."

"Well," the commander says. "That would seem to support the lieutenant's story."

"She must have switched clothes with the shore patrol officer," Annie says. "Oh, I hope that poor woman isn''t shipped out because she's wearing this woman's uniform."

"Don't worry!", the commander says, turning to one of the male shore patrol. "Go and make sure she's all right." Annie steps back and exhales. All is right again. She suddenly remembers her orders, looks for them, and finds them in her jacket pocket. She kisses them.

Meanwhie, the WAVE commander says to Annie, "Lieutenant, we thank you for your help in this terrible matter." She turns to Taffy. "And as for you, you are a disgrace to all military services." She picks up the night-stick and raises it up.

Annie sees her and shouts, "Remember the Three Stooges!" But the commander whacks Taffy anyway. "Sorry, but I couldn't help myself."

"Do we bring her back to the ship?", one of the shore patrol asks.

"No, take her to the brigs. We'll hold a hearing in 24 hours."

Annie looks at the battered Taffy. "Or maybe 24 days."

We see Taffy being carried to a brig cell, undressed, dressed in a prison uniform, and laid flat on a straw floor.

A superimposed title says, "24 days later."

Taffy suddenly wakes up, turns to the camera, and says, "Maybe I'll switch clothes with a guard."