"The Duchess in Deliberation" by SGC

[tirepanted3]

This story has been on the Internet for almost twenty years, yet I've only now just come across it. Features a classic uniform steal scenario along with some fun, lighthearted dialogue.





Chapter 2 – The Bad

Part of Deanna’s plan was to stop the thieves in their scheme, whatever that might be, before it began to unfold. She ordered the other girl detectives to position themselves in the hotel lobby as observers, where they could spot any suspicious activity immediately and report to their leader. Meanwhile, Deanna had ideas of her own for thwarting the crime, which she would formulate and implement after taking a brief walk around the fourth floor once her compatriots departed.

At noon, Katie and Jill rang for an elevator outside room 406 and entered the empty car when it arrived. Jill told the uniformed operator, a tall older woman, that they wanted the ground level. Katie took note the lady proudly displayed an oversized plaid colored button with bright red letters saying “I Love Deanna!” on her uniform hat.

“Are you a Deanna Taylor fan, ma’am?” Katie asked the woman, a rhetorical question if ever there was one.

“Oh, my, am I! Isn’t the entire universe? An operator on duty before me took her and a friend to their room this morning. Deanna actually rode in this very elevator, and we’re all so excited. That Miss Taylor is truly a winner! I’ll have you know many folks tell me I look a lot like her.”

“There certainly is a resemblance. In fact, I’ll venture to wage the two of you could wear the same clothes. She’s constantly setting the standard in the latest designs for all girl detectives. Would you enjoy meeting her? I’ll arrange it. I’m the friend you mentioned and Deanna is my idol, mentor and best buddy!” said Katie.

“You’re also Deanna’s flunky…” Jill said quietly under her breath.

“It’s been a dream of mine to meet Miss Taylor since I began reading about her exploits in ‘Teen Detective’ magazine. What’s your name?”

“I’m Katie Spencer and this is Jill Turner. You might have read about us in the magazine, too.”

“Of course I have. Isn’t this a day to remember for us all?” the elevator operator giddily said.

“Yeah, sure is. It’s almost as memorable as the painful day my tonsils were yanked out of my throat and about as much fun, too. I think we’ve arrived at the lobby. Hallelujah!” a frustrated Jill commented to Katie in a whisper, anxious to get far away as possible from yet another Deanna Taylor groupie.

“Thank you for the ride, ma’am. I’ll be in touch. And long live Deanna Taylor!” Katie waved at the elevator operator as the two girls entered the lobby.

A choir of Dutch students had assembled and was entertaining staff, guests and visitors with various songs familiar throughout the world, while Katie and Jill obtained seats that would afford an unobstructed view of people coming in and out of the hotel. Taking newspapers found on the chairs, they feigned reading them in an attempt to avoid being conspicuous.

Upon hearing the choir director announce the next selection to be sung, Jill noticeably cringed while Katie nearly fainted from ecstatic joy.

“In honor of Deanna Taylor, our distinguished visitor from Watertown in the United States, we will perform a special version of the classic American standard called ‘You Are My Sunshine’. Ready, children?”

The conductor raised his baton and the boys and girls began belting the song out.

You are our sunshine
Our only sunshine.
You make us so safe
When evil preys
You'll never know, dear
How much we love you
Deanna, take all the villains away!

“Bravo, meistro! Bravo!” shouted Katie, much to the delight of the choir as well as the disdain of Jill Turner, who was once again feeling violently ill.

“Sit still, Katie, and shut up. We’re supposed to be incognito and you’re bouncing all over as if there was a lit blowtorch aimed at your rear end!” Jill whispered angrily.

“Sorry, Jill. I can’t help myself when I hear tributes to Deanna. Sort of makes me choke up all over. Know what I mean?”

“If you don’t be quiet, it will be me doing the choking. Settle down and start observing, as that’s what we’re here for in case you forgot.”

The sleuths didn’t have long to wait before their observation assignment paid dividends.

…

“Okay, Jill. Let’s saddle up and move out before we lose him in this crowd. He’s going towards the elevators!” said Katie.

“Lose him? Dressed like that? I’ve seen neon signs in Las Vegas that aren’t as bright and flashy as he is. And don’t start up a conversation with your cloned Deanna Taylor admirer in the elevator, Katie, or you’ll give us away to him. Just ignore her and maybe she’ll keep quiet. I’ve had enough heroine worship for one day, thank you very much.”

The girls followed CV and entered the empty elevator car with him as it arrived. Jill and Katie positioned themselves so CV was sandwiched in between them.

“What floor please, sir?” the operator asked without turning around.

“The fourth, my dear lady!” CV announced with a flourish as the elevator car slowly began to ascend.

“I already know which floor you girls will want,” the operator announced.

CV took note of the two attractive ladies standing beside him.

“Say, you’re a real delightful eyeful. Are you staying at the hotel?” CV asked Jill.

“Spiacente, ma sono italiana e non parlo inglese,” Jill responded.

“Oh, you speak French, huh? I rap a little of it myself. It’s the language of love!” CV noted in an effort to impress Jill.

“That wasn’t French, sir, it was Italian. I gather the young lady said she’s sorry but she doesn’t speak English. My Italian is a bit rusty though,” the elevator operator informed CV, once again talking but not turning to face her passengers.

“Then how about you, fair maiden?” CV inquired of Katie.

“My apologies, sir. I don’t speak English either, so I’m afraid I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“If you don’t speak English, than how….” CV shook his head in a perplexed manner and finally shrugged his shoulders, not giving the matter any more thought.

Jill groaned and shot Katie a glance indicating for her to keep quiet before she made a complete idiot of herself. As if she wasn’t one already, thought Jill.

“Fourth floor!” announced the operator.

“Which direction to room 413?” CV asked.

“To your right, sir. Have a nice day!” the operator told him with her head downcast as CV exited, still confused over his language encounter with the other two passengers.

The operator speedily closed the door before Katie and Jill could get off and removed the key that provided power to the elevator, locking them all inside.

“Hold it. What are you doing? This is our stop!” an angry Jill shouted as the operator performed an about-face before removing the uniform hat.

“Surprise, gals. Bet you didn’t know it was I, did you? Be honest.”

“Deanna! What the heck are you doing decked out in the elevator operator’s uniform? And where is the other woman?” a shocked Jill Turner mouthed.

“Have no fear, Jill. You don’t think I’d hurt her, do you? Especially since she’s a fervent worshiper of mine and wears an ‘I Love Deanna!’ booster button. Can’t say as I blame the lady, either. Everyone loves me! Anyhow, she’s tucked away in the utility closet at the end of the hallway. Safe, sound and sleeping like a baby. Slightly tied up at the moment, but none the worse for wear.”

“I don’t understand, Deanna. But I’m sure whatever the reason, it is pure perfection. How could it be anything else since you are at the helm, my Captain?” marveled Katie.

“Cut the hosannas, Katie. Would you mind filling us in on the details? I can’t wait to hear!” Jill said.

“While you ladies were scouting out the lobby, I thought it might be wise to keep a close watch on room 413. And what better way to do that than being the elevator operator? They know everything that goes on in a hotel.”

“Really? I assume you are aware that the Halloween outcast we were riding in the elevator with was none other then the infamous Chloro_Villain?”

“Jill, ye of such small faith. Naturally I recognized him immediately. I even used his product on my elevator operator admirer when I needed to appropriate her uniform. See?”

Deanna removed a small amber colored bottle from a pocket of the uniform and showed the label to Katie and Jill. It pictured a masked and costumed CV on it with the words:

Chloro_Villain® Brand Premium Chloroform
The Brand To Trust When Sleep They Must!

“Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You overpowered and chloroformed the lady, then put on her outfit before leaving her tied up in a closet? Why not explain the situation and ask to borrow the uniform? I’m sure she’d have given you the clothes off her back. Literally. If that’s the way you treat trusting innocents, I shutter to think what befalls your enemies. I want out of this circus!” a disgusted Jill ranted at Deanna.

“Temper, temper, Jill. Stop being a party pooper and think how nerve-racking all this is on me. Why, I wouldn’t normally be caught dead in these threads unless it was a dire emergency. Have a heart! What would my legions of followers think? Just the idea of donning this eyesore depressed me. And what could I say to the dear woman? Excuse me, but may I borrow your yucky potato sack of a drab uniform to spy on some crooks that plan on stealing a painting? I hardly think so. Plus, she’s one of my ardent fans and the entire hotel would have been privy to it within an hour. Remember, loose lips sink ships.”

“Loose lips sink ships! Another of your utterances worthy of immortalization, may I say!”

“Will you put a sock in it, Katie? She’s quoting an old World War II warning, so please stifle the desire to nominate her for sainthood.”

“Besides, as I was knocking the woman out I promised to give her an autographed copy of my new book. I’m sure she had a huge smile underneath the chloroformed soaked rag I held over her mouth!” Deanna informed them.

“New book? What new book, Deanna? Are you rewriting the Bible?” Jill sarcastically let fly.

“No. The name of it is going to be ‘Chasing Villains With Deanna: One Girl Detective’s Fight to Get a Clue!’ and I think it’s a spiffy title, isn’t it?”

“Sure is, Deanna. If anyone needs to get a clue, it’s you. Let’s steer on track again involving the case. What’s next on the agenda?”

“Glad you’ve returned to the winning team, Jill. My well-coiffured head was worried there for a moment! We must get into room 413 and check out who is in there with Chloro_Villain and what they’re concocting. That’s why you guys now have new assignments.”

“No sweat, Deanna. We’ll just pound on the door and demand the villains tell us what they have in mind. Sounds simple enough to me.”

“You’re at it again being the defeatist, Jill, so hush for a moment and I’ll give you the details. In the closet where I left the elevator operator, there are a number of spare room service waiter uniforms. Certainly you both will find one that fits. Put them on and see if you can gain entrance to 413 under the guise of delivering a complimentary fruit basket to whoever is in there. Use the fruit the hotel gave us in our suite as bait. Then report to me with your findings.”

“This whole thing is fruity if you ask me,” smirked Jill.

Deanna ignored the sarcastic remark and resumed outlining her instructions.

“Here’s the key to the closet. In Europe, it’s common for hotel staff to leave utility closet keys in the keyhole for quick access. I locked the door after taking care of our friend, and make sure you do the same. We can’t afford to have her found. When this is all over we’ll release her, but not until then. While you’re in the closet, please retrieve my very costly clothes and shoes I left neatly folded in a shopping bag by the door and place them in our room when getting the fruit basket. Speaking of shoes, can you believe these ghastly low-heeled pumps I had to put on? My lovely polished toes are simply killing me!”

“Such a tragedy, Deanna. It’s possible you might never recover emotionally from the trauma. Katie and I will do as you say, but what if something should go haywire?”

“Go wrong? Perish the thought. I’ll be here watching as you try and enter the room.”

“Suppose people need to be transported on the elevator, or a member of the hotel staff tags you as a phony?”

“Jill, should I need to carry guests while you’re trying to get into 413, you girls are savvy enough to handle the situation. If that buzzer currently sounding off in our ears in any indication, I have passengers waiting for me already. As far as being recognized by a member of the staff, I’ll simply charm my way out of the situation. After all, I’m Deanna Taylor, aren’t I? If absolutely necessary, there’s always the chloroform. I’ll just have to bind up and stick the unfortunate soul in our room for the duration of this escapade. Any questions? If not, get going! Wait, Jill, one more thing.”

“Yes, great and wonderful one?” Jill cracked, mimicking Katie’s deferential manner.

“You’re Italian, so why do you have a name like Jill Turner? Shouldn’t it be Jilliana Turnerlini or some such similarly sounding Italian name?”

“Deanna, aren’t you partially of Irish descent?”

“Why yes, I am. How nice of you to remember. In fact my family from that side comes from a place called Coot Hill in Ireland.”

“So why aren’t you named Deanna O’Taylor or McTaylor? Get my point?”

“I sure do, Jill. Amazing the things one such as myself learns from her minions. See you later, girls. And good luck!”

Katie and Jill took the key for the utility closet and walked the long hallway while Deanna started the elevator and pressed the button for the ground level. Arriving at the closet, the girls opened it and entered the darkened interior. They immediately locked the door from the inside to keep anyone from disturbing them.

“Find the switch, will you, Katie? I can’t see a thing in here.”

“Got you covered, Jill. I’ll whip out my ever-handy DT high-powered portable titanium flashlight with matching color coordinated carrying case.”

“Let me take a wild guess. DT stands for Deanna Taylor?”

“Of course. She has a whole line of useful accessories for sale in the USA that discerning girl detectives can use during their crime solving. I didn’t have to buy mine because Deanna gave it to me as a birthday present.”

“Gee, wasn’t that magnanimous of her.”

Katie turned the flashlight on, pointed the beam at an area adjacent to the door and found the switch. She pushed it upwards, bathing the small area in brightness.

“Deanna said let there be light, and there was light!”

“Don’t go there, Spencer. Your constant kowtowing is grating on my already very fragile nerves.”

As the eyes of the two girls adjusted from the pitch darkness, they saw the room service uniforms Deanna had told them about hanging on a rack at the rear. In the center of the closet was a thick steel pole extending upwards into the ceiling from the floor. Lashed and gagged to it was the knocked out elevator operator, with head up and eyelids closed.

“Your fellow Deanna acolyte reminds me of one of those wooden Indians from an American western movie that stands outside a cigar store. Except for all those ropes wrapped around her and the gagged mouth. Well, the poor thing wanted to meet Miss Taylor and she most assuredly did. I wonder if Sleeping Beauty will still want to wear that ‘I Love Deanna!’ button after she wakes up.”

“Cease being so negative, Jill. Can’t you appreciate the quality workmanship of an expert when you see it before your eyes?”

“What are you babbling about, Katie?” a dumbfounded Jill asked.

She guided Jill to the sleeping woman standing inescapably tied to the metal poll. Assuming hand mannerisms as a visual tool like hostess Vanna White used from the television show “Wheel of Fortune” while demonstrating the attributes of a new refrigerator won by a contestant, Katie proceeded.

“Notice the dynamic placement of the fetters positioned neatly and professionally around the helpless victim’s ankles, knees and thighs. As we progress higher, thrill to the hemp encircling the entire torso that anchors our sweet elevator operator firmly upright to the metal. Last but not least, a tight cloth cleave gag filling the mouth to the brim ensuring utter silence before being secured with a simple yet effective knot. I submit to you this is perfection of the utmost order. She still has smile on her face, too, from meeting Deanna!”

“And I submit that you’re in need of some serious psychiatric counseling for obsessive/compulsive behavior. Can we change into the waiter’s garb and get out of this oversized bandbox since your show and tell game is over? I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic.”

The girls located uniforms that were their sizes and began putting them on. Jill finished in minutes and was ready to get out of the confining utility closet, while Katie was still taking her time dressing.

“Would you hurry up, Katie? We don’t have until next year for this. Throw me your clothes and I’ll put them in the bag with Deanna’s stuff and mine.”

“Sorry, Jill. Deanna teaches that a girl detective should always be concerned about her appearance. It doesn’t do any harm taking an extra few moments to spruce up a bit, even if it’s only a disguise.”

“Whatever! While you’re wasting time trying to look like a Barbizon model, I’ll take our and Her Majesty’s clothing outside in the hallway to wait. And be quick, will you?”





Full chapter: https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/waterto ... -t576.html