Madame Mayor - Chapter 4: The Diplomat

[rufusluciusivan]

An other chapter to build up the story - and a cliffhanger at the end, of course. I find myself without much to comment actually. Solid writing, some good lines. The usual. Though I noticed this was the (long-awaited?) return of the "grab the girl at the end of the file" setup. Given Adelaide's inner-thoughts, it seems the story too is aware this trope hasn't been seen for a while.

Slowly, the storylines are getting closer. I anticipate all these people will meet at Mayor Hargrove's office building - it will be quite the awkward gathering.

I appreciate that FEMME takes the forefront again. They make for compelling antagonists. Plus, there is something undeniably sexy about the idea of a uniformed (and armored) task force designed to hunt down uniform thieves being mugged for their uniforms. And Alix's mugging featured the good old "offscreen scuffle, punches, and kicks" trope, so that's a bonus.

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I'm not very fond of Elena, I must say. In a way, she's very lucky that the plot is on her side - in that Heather is shown to be a nasty piece of work in her own right. Because Heather turning out to be a "villainess" notwithstanding, Elena seems disturbingly okay with hurting and threatening other women to get what she wants, and quick to dismiss the concerns of her cousin. In a way, she reminds me of Bobbie.

Sad thing is, Polina is probably right - her actions can't possibly endear her to Lupe. Then again, Polina too is lucky the plot is on her side and Lupe has actually been kidnapped.

Park rangers are quite the rarity on the Board. As always, it's a nice plus when a chapter features some more unusual outfits.

“It’s too bad you girls can’t hear the one-liners I deliver when I knock these idiots out,” Olga said with a grin. “Some of them are pretty funny, if I do say so myself.”

“I’m sure they’re hilarious,” Katerina replied drolly. “But there will be time to discuss comedy later."

This exchange made me chuckle a lot more than it should have. Given that I only was privvy to the "naptime" one - which I'd rank as "average" as far as TP one-liners go - I will have to take her word for it...

Nothing more to add, except to point out that I loved this transition:

Revenge was close. She could almost taste it.

**********************

“Hope you like the taste!” Polina grinned.

I had to say it.

[tirepanted3]

Scruffy: Glad you're caught up and enjoying it! I'm hoping to pick up the pace and have the next chapter posted later this month.

Rufus: A lot of setup in this chapter, certainly. I estimate we're nearing the halfway point of the story, and pretty soon the various characters and story threads will begin intersecting and conflicting (if they haven't already).

I have the sense that I've used the "grab the last girl in line" trope a few times in the past. Though it's one of those USB mainstays that never gets old for me.

Your prediction about where all these stories are headed is on the right track, if not fully accurate. The next chapter should make clear where things are leading.

FEMME has proven to be a worthy addition to the series, adding conflict and complications to the usual uniform thefts. I was originally planning to hold off a bit longer on turning a few of them into USB victims, but I think it adds a level of danger and suspense (for various characters across the USB spectrum) to have their ranks infiltrated by the Russian militants.

And as with Adelaide's grabbing the last girl in line, I couldn't resist a good "offscreen scuffle" for Katerina and her FEMME target.

I would say an important difference between Elena and Bobbi is that Bobbi undoubtedly took pleasure in mugging women for their clothes - it allowed her to feel more assertive and controlling - while Elena is more curious and amused by the prospect. She comes from a part of the world where uniform stealing is apparently not a part of daily life, so the concept fascinates her as something new and different. She doesn't partake in uniform stealing out of cruelty or malice, but rather out of curiosity and intrigue.

Polina is caught between her two loves - Lupe and uniform stealing. A very strange love triangle. But it is indeed to her benefit that Lupe now has actual need of her.

I was surprised to learn that this may be the first story I've ever written in which park rangers are mugged for their uniforms. The only other instance that might qualify is one of the early "Spacesuit" stories where Felicia and Bobbi discuss the time they stole some ranger outfits to infiltrate a park. But that was never shown, only mentioned.

The sad truth about Olga is that most of her one-liners are pretty weak and unfunny. She has a lousy sense of humor, and it's probably a mercy that her victims are unconscious and thus unable to hear her bad jokes.

I can never resist a fun transition. This one in particular felt like a good way to contrast Katerina's dark thoughts with Polina's mischief.

[rufusluciusivan]

Scruffy: Glad you're caught up and enjoying it! I'm hoping to pick up the pace and have the next chapter posted later this month.

Rufus: A lot of setup in this chapter, certainly. I estimate we're nearing the halfway point of the story, and pretty soon the various characters and story threads will begin intersecting and conflicting (if they haven't already).

I have the sense that I've used the "grab the last girl in line" trope a few times in the past. Though it's one of those USB mainstays that never gets old for me.

Your prediction about where all these stories are headed is on the right track, if not fully accurate. The next chapter should make clear where things are leading.

FEMME has proven to be a worthy addition to the series, adding conflict and complications to the usual uniform thefts. I was originally planning to hold off a bit longer on turning a few of them into USB victims, but I think it adds a level of danger and suspense (for various characters across the USB spectrum) to have their ranks infiltrated by the Russian militants.

And as with Adelaide's grabbing the last girl in line, I couldn't resist a good "offscreen scuffle" for Katerina and her FEMME target.

I would say an important difference between Elena and Bobbi is that Bobbi undoubtedly took pleasure in mugging women for their clothes - it allowed her to feel more assertive and controlling - while Elena is more curious and amused by the prospect. She comes from a part of the world where uniform stealing is apparently not a part of daily life, so the concept fascinates her as something new and different. She doesn't partake in uniform stealing out of cruelty or malice, but rather out of curiosity and intrigue.

Polina is caught between her two loves - Lupe and uniform stealing. A very strange love triangle. But it is indeed to her benefit that Lupe now has actual need of her.

I was surprised to learn that this may be the first story I've ever written in which park rangers are mugged for their uniforms. The only other instance that might qualify is one of the early "Spacesuit" stories where Felicia and Bobbi discuss the time they stole some ranger outfits to infiltrate a park. But that was never shown, only mentioned.

The sad truth about Olga is that most of her one-liners are pretty weak and unfunny. She has a lousy sense of humor, and it's probably a mercy that her victims are unconscious and thus unable to hear her bad jokes.

I can never resist a fun transition. This one in particular felt like a good way to contrast Katerina's dark thoughts with Polina's mischief.

The “grab the last girl of the line” trope seems to have a weird history – I recall it used to be more commonplace in your older stories, then it faded away, and is now making its return. Probably one of the least realistic USB-situations, but a very fun mental picture.

As far as USB antagonists go, FEMME ticks all the boxes – they’re as close to perfect as an antagonist can be as far as I’m concerned. They have a strong identity, their military/law enforcement feel and equipment gives them an appeal. (Armed women aren’t my favorite kind of victims, but the imagery is still very hot.) They have this arrogant “I’m-better-than-you” demeanor that makes for people we like to see get knocked down a peg. At the same time, they are shown to be a legitimate threat due to their awareness of USB tactics– technically, even Alix is mentioned to have put up quite a fight even though she was ambushed and mugged like your typical sentry. They are linked to one key theme of this series – exploring how a ‘semi-realistic / plausible’ world would react to the emergence of uniform stealing tactics – which has always been one of my favorite part of your late stories. At the same time, they can bring more serious topics and question the boundaries of USB tactics – as shown in this part with the tale about the successful bombing. Clearly I believe FEMME is one of the greatest assets of this series.

I see why you wished to wait as long as possible before FEMME agents began to fall victims to USB tactics, as it portrays them as this dangerous threat, but then again we are reaching a climactic part for the Madame Mayor saga as a whole, so FEMME agents being mugged for disguise is a way to show things are now serious.

And let’s be honest, we were all waiting for the moment some FEMME agents would be mugged for disguise – the appeal of strong anti-USB fighters getting knocked out, stripped, trussed up, and impersonated is simply too sexy.

As for Olga, I must say she has the bad luck of having stiff competition, when even the third-person narration cracks one-liners from time to time!

My comparison between Elena and Bobbie is mostly in terms of her role in the narration and the emotional response she elicits from me, not really in terms of personalities. Short story: Exactly like Bobbie, there is something about Elena that ends up rubbing me the wrong way because of a purely personal emotional reason.
Long story: From a narrative standpoint, I have nothing bad to say about Elena’s character – she’s internally coherent, and the rookie/mentor dynamic between her and Polina is well-done and leads to good dialogues. So I see why many people could enjoy her presence. But I’m totally non-receptive to it. I have this feeling that the narration gives her preferential treatment – a bit like with Bobbie. In that Elena is still meant to be one of the characters the reader is (implicitly) asked to root for by the narration. Your series always portrays a wide gallery of morally grey characters, but it’s also always been clear that there were characters who were meant to be more sympathetic than others – and with the reveal of Heather’s true nature, it’s pretty obvious the narration wants readers to root for Elena. For me, problem is I find her hard to root for. Just like Bobbie, and even though she doesn’t act on negative emotions, Elena still brushes off the negative consequences of her actions, writes off what she inflicts to women who didn’t do anything to her as unimportant, and (even worst in my book) is extremely quick to brush off the concerns and the feelings of her cousin who loves and supports her. You could say I think explanation is no excuse when it comes to her reasons and motivations. But of course the key reason of my reaction is the context – after all, with this description I’ve also described other characters I like. (Like for instance Charlotte, if you allow a comparison with my work. Charlotte too is a uniform stealing enthusiast. But Charlotte is also an antagonist, is portrayed as such by the narration, and her inability to grasp the bad consequences of her actions is the key reason why she’s shown to be an antagonist. Now, of course Elena’s personality isn’t meant to be as extreme as Charlotte’s, but I think there is a somewhat similar logic behind them.) The difference here is that I feel the narration is on Elena’s side. Here, as I mentioned, Elena is very lucky the events turned out exactly like they did, and Heather turned out to be a criminal worst than Oksana and Polina. If not, she’d have become complicit to some pretty heinous acts. Had Heather proven to be a decent person just doing her job and who was simply (understandably) unwilling to cooperate with criminals, would Elena have let Oksana and Polina shake her up? Hurt her? The narration is silent about how she feels about the whole situation before Heather turns out to be willing to murder innocent people. Plus, while it’s logical in-universe that Elena acts rashly, I find her decision painfully short-sighted – which doesn’t endear her to me. I mean: even if the ploy had worked and she had become a citizen, what would have happened next? Would she just believe Heather wouldn’t report her? Because outside of killing Heather, there’s no way to prevent her from reporting her. Bottom line, I think the more grounded a series become, the more character archetypes like Elena don’t work on me anymore unless they play an antagonistic role. I spent a lot of time on this specific detail, but at least I’ve properly explained my viewpoint. As I mentioned, it has nothing to do with the quality of the writing (still top-notch) or the character (still internally coherent). It’s just I think I know where Elena’s development will lead her, and I anticipate my negative feelings won’t evolve, so I’ll try to not ramble about them anymore now I’ve pin-pointed them – just like back in the days with Bobbie. Guess that’s also why I don’t care much for Polina’s plight as well – not exactly invested in seeing her get a happy ending.

Wow, I didn’t think we were only half-way… Plenty of more one-liners on the horizon. Good luck with the next part!

[tirepanted3]

The “grab the last girl of the line” trope seems to have a weird history – I recall it used to be more commonplace in your older stories, then it faded away, and is now making its return. Probably one of the least realistic USB-situations, but a very fun mental picture.

Oh yes, now that you bring it up, I think I used to do it a lot more frequently than I do now. Same with the similar "Ten Little Indians"-style trope of a line of uniformed women being picked off by infiltrators, one by one, starting from the back. I would use these more often, even if they are indeed a little implausible.

As far as USB antagonists go, FEMME ticks all the boxes – they’re as close to perfect as an antagonist can be as far as I’m concerned. They have a strong identity, their military/law enforcement feel and equipment gives them an appeal. (Armed women aren’t my favorite kind of victims, but the imagery is still very hot.) They have this arrogant “I’m-better-than-you” demeanor that makes for people we like to see get knocked down a peg. At the same time, they are shown to be a legitimate threat due to their awareness of USB tactics– technically, even Alix is mentioned to have put up quite a fight even though she was ambushed and mugged like your typical sentry. They are linked to one key theme of this series – exploring how a ‘semi-realistic / plausible’ world would react to the emergence of uniform stealing tactics – which has always been one of my favorite part of your late stories. At the same time, they can bring more serious topics and question the boundaries of USB tactics – as shown in this part with the tale about the successful bombing. Clearly I believe FEMME is one of the greatest assets of this series.

That's great to hear. I enjoy incorporating FEMME into the series, since even as they're technically on the side of law and order - hunting and arresting women who commit mugging and thefts - they do work well as antagonists, considering how most of the heroines in these stories routinely engage in uniform thefts and other lawbreaking. It's also fun to show how different types of women have different reasons to dislike FEMME - including policewomen and security guards, who see their careers threatened and their reputations damaged by these women. I also try to show here that FEMME agents are strong and capable fighters - that even a well-trained militant like Katerina has to expend some effort to take one of them down.

Incidentally, Ronda's story about the Hobson bombing is a reference to a scene in Volume 2 of the Spacesuit saga (viewtopic.php?p=7767). The Ronda mentioned in the scene as one of the mugged guards is the one who has now joined up with FEMME.

I see why you wished to wait as long as possible before FEMME agents began to fall victims to USB tactics, as it portrays them as this dangerous threat, but then again we are reaching a climactic part for the Madame Mayor saga as a whole, so FEMME agents being mugged for disguise is a way to show things are now serious.

And more specifically, to show that the Russian militants are a threat beyond even what FEMME can handle.

And let’s be honest, we were all waiting for the moment some FEMME agents would be mugged for disguise – the appeal of strong anti-USB fighters getting knocked out, stripped, trussed up, and impersonated is simply too sexy.

Oh yes, it was bound to happen eventually. And I will admit the idea of a team of uniform thieves posing as a team of anti-uniform stealing crusaders is quite appealing to me as well.

As for Olga, I must say she has the bad luck of having stiff competition, when even the third-person narration cracks one-liners from time to time!

Indeed, she doesn't have much of a chance. But she does have more of a sense of humor than her fellow militants, at least.

I hear your points about Elena, and I don't think they're unfounded. She is meant to be sympathetic to some degree, even if she's not as grounded as someone like Lupe. However, I would recommend you give her character at least another chapter or two to develop; I don't want her character to be one-note, and there will be reason to sympathize with her going forward. After all, she has just come across some genuine consequences for her actions - Lupe is now in deadly danger, and it's (partly) her fault. That's all I'll say for now.

Polina is a trickier character to defend at this stretch, but her own feelings toward Lupe will complicate her own attitude going forward. Future chapters will reveal more.

Wow, I didn’t think we were only half-way… Plenty of more one-liners on the horizon. Good luck with the next part!

Thanks! Yes, there's a few too many characters for me to conceivably wrap it up in the next chapter or two. But hopefully everything comes together in (more or less) coherent fashion eventually. I don't want to drag the story out longer than it needs to be either.

But in any case, I've already started writing the next part, and can confirm there are some fun quips and one-liners ahead.

[rufusluciusivan]

Oh Goodness, the “Ten Little Indians”-style… I remember one instance with a line of cheerleaders…

Whether as antagonists or as uniform stealing victims, FEMME still has a lot to offer to this story, that's for sure! No offense to the Russian Team, they're fine and threatening, but FEMME holds a special place in my heart. But I'm sure these Russian women are secure enough to not care of the opinion of a Westerner...

I hear your points about Elena, and I don't think they're unfounded. She is meant to be sympathetic to some degree, even if she's not as grounded as someone like Lupe. However, I would recommend you give her character at least another chapter or two to develop; I don't want her character to be one-note, and there will be reason to sympathize with her going forward. After all, she has just come across some genuine consequences for her actions - Lupe is now in deadly danger, and it's (partly) her fault. That's all I'll say for now.

Polina is a trickier character to defend at this stretch, but her own feelings toward Lupe will complicate her own attitude going forward. Future chapters will reveal more.

Making no promise here. Besides, Elena worrying for Lupe and rescuing her wouldn’t change much of my perception – in a way, it would add selfishness to her attitude: Things are all fun and games to her until someone SHE cares about is hurt in the crossfire.

Now, more seriously, while I’m fond of writing long paragraphs to make my point as clear as possible, these comments are still on-the-spot reactions – no matter how structured I attempt to make them. So of course I’m open to the idea of changing my mind about characters like Elena or Polina. I spent a lot of time on this specific detail because, well, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do it once and for all.

Either way, I’ll stick around to witness the end of this series, so good luck with the next part. Fingers crossed for a release this month. Any idea of how many chapters are left (I assume something like 4 since we’re half-way)? Or if the series will come to an end this year?

[tirepanted3]

Whether as antagonists or as uniform stealing victims, FEMME still has a lot to offer to this story, that's for sure! No offense to the Russian Team, they're fine and threatening, but FEMME holds a special place in my heart. But I'm sure these Russian women are secure enough to not care of the opinion of a Westerner...

Well, I can assure you that FEMME will continue to play a large part in the series going forward. They definitely provide some new opportunities for the series, and I hope to utilize those opportunities.

Making no promise here. Besides, Elena worrying for Lupe and rescuing her wouldn’t change much of my perception – in a way, it would add selfishness to her attitude: Things are all fun and games to her until someone SHE cares about is hurt in the crossfire.

Well, she'd hardly be the only character in the series to act on selfish reasons - and even among the main heroines in the series, it's common for the most altruistic characters to put their moral misgivings aside if circumstances compel them to mug innocent women for their clothes. Still, great to hear your thoughts on different characters, even the ones you don't personally connect with.

Fingers crossed for a release this month. Any idea of how many chapters are left (I assume something like 4 since we’re half-way)? Or if the series will come to an end this year?

I estimate there are four or five chapters left to "Madame Mayor," though that depends on how I want to craft the epilogue. Regardless, I am hopeful the whole story will be concluded this year. I have some other ideas (both in the "Spacesuit" universe and otherwise) that I'd like to turn into stories, but "Madame Mayor" will be my main focus for the moment.