Uniform Stealing Board

A tense and busy chapter, with a lot of action all set around one location. This has always been a tough sort of scenario for me to write, since it involves lots of action and confrontation and coordinating of various characters (I tend to find it easier to write multiple perspectives when characters are spread out in different locations) but this worked very well, and built to an exciting climax that raised the stakes over the last Felicia/Taylor confrontation.

I was looking forward to the Felicia/MJ banter, and it did not disappoint - poor MJ, haplessly guilted into helping Felicia be a hero, even to the point of involving herself in some less-than-heroic actions. And her irritation with Felicia's teasing was very entertaining, particularly once Felicia started pretending they were girlfriends. I could totally see this scenario play out in a comic book team-up between the two of them.

The scene where the two of them mug the two students (clearly inspired by the Haunted Junction manga) was probably the chapter's best scene, with my favorite exchange:

However, Black Cat couldn’t resist a quip. She threw a line. “No, we are new students.”

“Then where are your uniforms?”

Felicia beamed. Jackpot!

“You’re wearing them.” she quipped.

Felicia was geared up to mug the students, but still chose to wait until they provided her with an opening to make a quip. Great stuff.

(Just a word of warning, Felicia: "Jackpot" is Mary Jane's line - and her new superhero identity in the comics. Don't go trying to own that phrase. )

I counted at least four different women in this chapter who were mugged without getting their uniforms stolen (two of the painters and two of the guards). Meanwhile, the mercenary uniforms were stolen twice - first by Screwball and Carpenter, then by Felicia and MJ. An unusual disproportion that worked for the story's logic and made the takedowns in the story more unpredictable.

I also just noticed that Screwball (in this continuity) and MJ share the name "Mary." As the two ladies who initially kicked off this whole Marvel franchise over a year ago, I can't help feeling this is symbolic. Or it could just be a coincidence, but Marvel stories are known for their Easter eggs.

Quite a cliffhanger to end the chapter on. Felicia was better-prepared this time, but still outmatched in the end. Good thing she's got nine lives...

meditions142 wrote: Mon Oct 21, 2024 12:15 pm

rufusluciusivan wrote: Fri Oct 18, 2024 7:24 am
Taylor can taze women with her bare hands thanks to her electricity-based powers or knock out several women in a row with her enhanced speed if she truly goes all out.

Definitely looking forward to seeing Taylor use both her electricity and speed.

I particularly like the idea that she can grab a woman and knock her out by releasing electricity through her hands. As you described it in your character bio section of you "Here Comes a New Challenger" post "If she grabs a person, she can release a powerful jolt of electricity to knock them out – a bit like if she was using a stun gun." I would love a scene where she sneaks up on a woman (perhaps a guard) and casually grabs her on the shoulder and knocks her out with a jolt of electricity.

I'm currently writing the final paragraphs of the next part. Therefore, while there won't be a guard (this time ), I can promise there'll be a scene showcasing the full extent of Taylor's abilities...

tirepanted3 wrote: Mon Oct 21, 2024 2:45 pm A tense and busy chapter, with a lot of action all set around one location. This has always been a tough sort of scenario for me to write, since it involves lots of action and confrontation and coordinating of various characters (I tend to find it easier to write multiple perspectives when characters are spread out in different locations) but this worked very well, and built to an exciting climax that raised the stakes over the last Felicia/Taylor confrontation.

I'm glad you appreciated the general structure of this chapter. I spent so much time on this part, it feels a little odd for it to finally be published and to read its (probably) last review.

I was looking forward to the Felicia/MJ banter, and it did not disappoint - poor MJ, haplessly guilted into helping Felicia be a hero, even to the point of involving herself in some less-than-heroic actions. And her irritation with Felicia's teasing was very entertaining, particularly once Felicia started pretending they were girlfriends. I could totally see this scenario play out in a comic book team-up between the two of them.

I swear the Felicia/MJ banters are like 50% of my motivation to write this series.

And we haven't reached my favorite exchange so far yet. (Yes, it's a shameless advertisement for the next part. )

Though it'll also feature some exchanges that are a bit more serious. While these two get along like cats and dogs, paradoxically (and ironically perhaps) they are able to understand each other and even to relate with each other more than anyone else - even more than Gwen, even though she's on friendly terms with both on them. They're two 'normal fighters' among a cast of super-powered super-heroes...

Felicia was geared up to mug the students, but still chose to wait until they provided her with an opening to make a quip. Great stuff.

The scene with the students is indeed inspired by the one in Haunted Junction. In fact, the "alpha" student has the appearance of the uniform stealer of Haunted Junction (and her friend has the appearance of the victim). This scene was one of my favorites to write. And yes indeed, it was partly because of the joke Felicia actually goads her victim to give her an opening for a quip.

She is a perfectionist...

(Just a word of warning, Felicia: "Jackpot" is Mary Jane's line - and her new superhero identity in the comics. Don't go trying to own that phrase. )

Good lord! As if Earth-USB Mary-Jane didn't have enough reasons to be defensive already! Will Felicia always steal her shtick all the way through?!

I counted at least four different women in this chapter who were mugged without getting their uniforms stolen (two of the painters and two of the guards). Meanwhile, the mercenary uniforms were stolen twice - first by Screwball and Carpenter, then by Felicia and MJ. An unusual disproportion that worked for the story's logic and made the takedowns in the story more unpredictable.

More a coincidence than anything, to be honest. As far as Taylor is concerned, stealing unneeded uniforms is a waste of time. Charlotte's insistance to do it nevertheless is meant to showcase how out-of-touch with reality she is. Usually, Taylor humors her - but not when the stakes are as high as an attempt on Robert Kelly's life.

I also just noticed that Screwball (in this continuity) and MJ share the name "Mary." As the two ladies who initially kicked off this whole Marvel franchise over a year ago, I can't help feeling this is symbolic. Or it could just be a coincidence, but Marvel stories are known for their Easter eggs.

To be honest, I hesitated to name Screwball "Mary" - since it's too similar to Mary-Jane. But while Screwball won't be as prominent as the main characters, I liked the idea of giving her some depths. She used to be a nobody - and I gave her the most common first name and last name of the United States to showcase that.

Quite a cliffhanger to end the chapter on. Felicia was better-prepared this time, but still outmatched in the end. Good thing she's got nine lives...

Also good thing she tried to help Sarah. If not, Taylor may have snapped her neck while she was unconscious - Black Cat is too dangerous to be left alive. (It's not exactly a spoiler, but Magneto will reproach her for having left alive such a dangerous enemy alive in the next part. But Felicia helped Sarah, and Taylor has a soft spot for Sarah, so she felt like she owed Felicia something.)

Hopefully, next part will be out soon... Stay tuned guys!