I can't remember the last time you posted a two-parts update. Is it the first time or am I starting to experience memory loss?
Whatever the answer is, I'm not complaining.
Poor Lacie should have listened to Ashley indeed... I can't explain why, but I think Evelyn's blunt announcement she's going to take her clothes is a hilarious joke.
Zuhal patted Bobbi on the shoulder. "I know exactly what you mean... But like I said, our line of business is tough. It's not always easy getting our friends to understand... and if they end up antagonizing you over your decisions, perhaps they aren't really your friends at all."
Bobbi nodded. "I... I guess."
I now think I see how this specific character arc will end... Unfortunately...
Felicia will make her point clear to the person with whom she should do it the most. Things will most likely get closure... One way or another.
I'll save up my thoughts when it happens, but I'm already taking notes.
The suspense is killing me. Though for the writer (aka you) I guess this is a good thing.
I think this is an inevitable consequence when a story features many parallel story arcs. When they all move on at the same time and roughly at the same pace (with the same amount of "screentime" so to speak), it makes each arc's progression that much slower. I maintain it can have downsides though - so many things are going on a the same time, I don't think things will be resolved before a few updates.
A lot of people have already commented, and I don't think I have much to add. A lot of the things I appreciated had already been pointed out.
Of course, the most interesting scene in my eyes was the surreal conversation between Ashley and Jenna. An interesting variation of the trope, a bit funny (Ashley actually reminding she has to be tied up
), and also with some character development. It's funny to see how much Ashley's evolved - at first she was a pure joke-character, and now she's half-funny, half-serious. Tragi-comic much?
Speaking of character development, I wasn't expecting Chandra to get some. Interested to see where her unlikely team-up will lead her. I'll say it, this is the best advantage of your way of writing 'grey' characters. Their alignment and alliances often shift, which leads to these interesting twists and unlikely partnerships.
Still enjoying how you have the character discuss the uniform stealing and its spreading.
This part was a transition leading to the final climax, hence probably why I don't have much to say. The writing is still good. There were still good lines. Plot-wise, important confrontations are being sent into motion (Jenna VS her team, Bobbi and Felicia, Bridget's and Chandra's unlikely team most likely having to rescue Prema and Moira from their kidnapping), so I'll probably have more to say next time.
. Her internal evolution into a willing victim has been well described , even if it was not totally unexpected ...