A Brief Clothes Stealing Scene from Shakespeare

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A Brief Clothes Stealing Scene from Shakespeare
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A Brief Clothes Stealing Scene from Shakespeare



The main story and most of the lines are from Much Ado About Nothing. Some are from Romeo and Juliet and Merchant of Venice. The scene could happen in the play--Borachio just doesn't say how he arranges for Hero not to be at her window. The scene begins with the evil Don Juan plotting with Borachio.

DON JOHN (a villain)
It is so; the Count Claudio shall marry Hero, the
daughter of Leonato.

BORACHIO
Yea, my lord; but I can cross it.

DON JOHN
Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be
medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him,
and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges
evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage?

BORACHIO
I think I told your lordship a year since, how much
I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting
gentlewoman to Hero.

DON JOHN
I remember.

BORACHIO
I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night,
appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window.

DON JOHN
What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage?

BORACHIO
The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to
the prince your brother; spare not to tell him that
he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned
Claudio--whose estimation do you mightily hold
up--to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.

DON JOHN
What proof shall I make of that?

BORACHIO
Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio,
to undo Hero and kill Leonato. Find me a meet hour to
draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone: tell them that you know
that Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the
prince and Claudio, as,--in love of your brother's
honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's
reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the
semblance of a maid,--that you have discovered
thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial:
offer them instances; which shall bear no less
likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window,
hear me call Margaret Hero, hear Margaret term me
Borachio; and bring them to see this the very night
before the intended wedding,--for in the meantime I
will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be
absent,--and there shall appear such seeming truth
of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall be called
assurance and all the preparation overthrown.

DON JOHN
Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put
it in practise. Be cunning in the working this, and
thy fee is a thousand ducats.

BORACHIO
Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning
shall not shame me.

That evening. Hero steps from her chamber to the outside balcony overlooking the green. She is wearing a red dress with a gold belt and streaks of gold on the sleeves. It is an expensive dress, befitting the daughter of a Duke. Her thick blonde hair hangs full and loose down her back. She looks at the star-filled sky and is giddy with love. It is the night before her wedding. Margaret, her chamber maid, who is dressed in a simple blue frock, follows her out on the balcony, carrying a cup of wine for her mistress. Hero looks up at the sky and says.

HERO
The moon shines bright: in such a night as this,
When the sweet wind did gently kiss the trees
And they did make no noise, in such a night
Troilus methinks mounted the Troyan walls
And sigh'd his soul toward the Grecian tents,
Where Cressid lay that night.
In such a night
Did Thisbe fearfully o'ertrip the dew
And saw the lion's shadow ere himself
And ran dismay'd away.

While Hero is rhapsodizing, Margaret takes a pouch that Borachio had given her from behind her belt and dumps its white contents into the cup of wine. Hero does not see any of this but continues her joyful tribute to love.

HERO
In such a night
Stood Dido with a willow in her hand
Upon the wild sea banks and waft her love
To come again to Carthage.
In such a night
Medea gather'd the enchanted herbs
That did renew old AEson.

Margaret hands the cup to Hero, who smiles and drinks it. She turns and rests her back against the balcony wall. Her eyes suddenly glaze and she sinks straight down, landing on her behind, her back resting against the balcony’s base, out of sight of anyone on the ground. Margaret stoops down, raises Hero’s head by placing a finger under her chin, then takes her finger away, letting Hero’s head drop, her head resting against her breast. Margaret smiles. She reaches down and removes Hero’s shoes, then loosens her belt. She then pulls Hero’s dress from her shoulders, first one, then the next, and draws the dress down to Hero’s waist, exposing her bare breasts and belly. With difficulty, given Hero’s position, she yanks the dress passed Hero’s hips and legs and finally off. She removes her drawers, which leaves her naked and drugged. Margaret quickly removes her own dress and starts to put Hero’s undergarments on. Borachio calls out.

BORACHIO (off)
How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!
Here will we sit and let the sounds of music
Creep in our ears: soft stillness and the night
Become the touches of sweet harmony.
Come, Hero. Look how the floor of heaven
Is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold:

Margaret peers just a bit over the balcony’s edge and sees Boracchio standing under the balcony while Don Juan, Don Pedro and Claudio hide behind some bushes. Margaret struggles to put on Hero’s dress from a stooped position as Borrachio orates. Hero slumbers naked next to her.

BORRACHIO (off)
There's not the smallest orb which thou behold'st
But in his motion like an angel sings,
Still quiring to the young-eyed cherubins;
Such harmony is in immortal souls;
But whilst this muddy vesture of decay
Doth grossly close it in, we cannot hear it.

Finally finished, Margaret, dressed in Hero’s clothes, stands up

MARGARET
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.

BORACHIO
Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye
Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,
And I am proof against their enmity.

MARGARET
By whose direction found'st thou out this place?

Hero begins to snore.

BORACHIO
By love, who first did prompt me to inquire;
He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes.
I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far
As that vast shore wash'd with the farthest sea,
I would adventure for such merchandise.

Hero’s snores grow louder. Margaret becomes rattled but continues to perform for Don Pedro and Claudio.

MARGARET
Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny.

She reaches down, finds her flimsy dress on the ground, and pushes it into Hero’s open mouth. The snoring stops. Margaret continues.

MARGARET
O gentle Borachio,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:
Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay,
So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.

Convinced that Hero is unfaithful to Claudio the day before her wedding, Don Pedro and Claudio storm off, followed by a grinning Don Juan. Seeing this, Borachio raises his clenched hands over his head in a victory sign and blows a kiss to Margaret. Margaret reaches down, takes Hero by the ankles, drags her back into the chamber, hauls her up, places her in the bed, and covers her with the sheet. She then starts to remove the dress.

On the ground, Borachio is joined by his friend Conrade. Borachio says to Conrade as they walk away,

BORACHIO
Friend Conrade, know that I have to-night
wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the
name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress'
chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good
night,--I tell this tale vilely:--I should first
tell thee how the prince, Claudio and my master,
planted and placed and possessed by my master Don
John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.

CONRADE
And thought they Margaret was Hero?

BORACHIO
Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the
devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly
by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by
the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly
by my villany, which did confirm any slander that
Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore
he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning
at the temple, and there, before the whole
congregation, shame her with what he saw o'er night
and send her home again without a husband.
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