They call me U.S.-M.-J.!

[rufusluciusivan]

Well, no need to hide the surprise anymore. This story is the next part of my little collaborative project with tirepanted, whom I thank a lot for all of his advices. Therefore it's a sequel to his latest story. For those who jump on the bandwagon, the order in which the saga shall be read is: 1) A Screwball, 2) A Ladybettle and a White Rabbit, 3) The Luck of the Black Cat, and finally this one.




They call me U.S. M.-J.!

**************

Please read the next sentence with the voice of Dragon Ball Z’s English narrator, Kyle Hebert.

Last time on Earth USB…

First this: viewtopic.php?f=234&t=8827

Then this: viewtopic.php?f=234&t=8855

Finally this: viewtopic.php?f=51&t=8953

And now...

**************

I don’t know who said that crime doesn’t pay, but clearly they’ve never met the Kingpin.

I admit I’m a basic woman. When I heard he had turned a warehouse into a meeting place for mobsters and costumed villains, I imagined a spartan dark place with dingy lights and bare concrete walls.

I wasn’t expecting a clean modern-looking Art-and-Deco-style interior with tables, comfortable chairs, sofas, and a few lounge areas. But that’s what I got!

The building is a lot bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside. Several rooms are closed with walls. I suppose they are reunion rooms. In the distance, I notice a corridor leading to a secluded part of the building – most likely where the maintenance closets and storage rooms are located. There is even a first floor with restrooms, delightfully isolated to protect the modesty of self-conscious criminals.

And… Holy cow! Is that a catering crew and a buffet in the corner?! (Of course they’re not from an official catering company. I recognize the faces of a few caterers. They’re actually street thugs – but street thugs dressed in pristine-looking caterer uniforms.)

Clearly, this is a high-class underground meeting place, reserved for high-class evil plans. I can picture mob bosses sharing a drink of expensive wine here, while discussing shady business…

Entering the building was easy.

I managed to trick White Rabbit’s goons into believing I was their boss. To be honest, with their idiotic masks hampering their sight, the task was easy. I told them I had business to attend to inside with Lady Beetle, and I was leaving everything under their capable hands. They looked relieved to see me gone. Which wasn’t surprising, since White Rabbit likes to demean her goons, and sometimes kicks them around. (In White Rabbit’s gang, being abused by the boss is part of the job. That’s why she pays them well – though maybe not well enough.)

There are already plenty of people waiting when Gwen and I enter the room. It’s clear we are late. When the crowd sees (the supposed) Lady Beetle and White Rabbit enter the building, they all stop chatting and glare at us.

I hide my nervousness. It’s in situations like this one I remember just how many costumed freaks there are in New York.

“MJ… They’re all staring…” Gwen whispers to me through gritted teeth. Her mask allows her to talk without being noticed. I don’t need to see her face to picture the grimace she’s making right now.

I share her sentiment. Our perfectly-crafted infiltration plan doesn’t seem so perfect when we’re standing in front of dozens of criminals.

Still, I’m a trained actress. (Sorry, I mean a trained STAGE actress. Even though my career never went anywhere, leaving me with part-time jobs to make ends meet. But that’s a story for an other time.) I keep my composure, and stay in character. I am White Rabbit, ‘Her Whiskered Majesty’ for my minions, and I’m way too crazy and self-important to be intimidated.

Gwen has a harder time playing her part, but since she wears a costume covering her from head to toe, she just has to stand still and people will take her for the mysterious badass.

One guy approaches us. I recognize Big Wheel, and roll my eyes. Did we have to be greeted by the villain who won the award of ‘Most Ridiculous Spider-Man villain’ last week? (Though who am I to judge? White Rabbit came second in that poll.)

Big Wheel glares at Gwen/Lady Beetle. “Finally! The last guest is here! Why did you take so long?” he complains. He glances at me. “And you, why did you feel the need to escort her inside?”

I recognize his intervention for what it is: An attempt to assert his superiority. Power struggle. Classic bad guy interaction.

I certainly can’t let Big Wheel, the bottom of the barrel when it comes to villain cred, push me around!

I briefly hesitate, thinking of what the real White Rabbit would say.

Then I choose to kick him in the crotch. Right in his two ‘Little Wheels’.

The poor guy moans in pain, and falls on his knees.

“It’s a ladies’ thing.” I retort while imitating White Rabbit’s fake British accent and speech mannerisms. “You wouldn’t understand, my dear racing driver reject.”

There is a pause. The other men who followed our exchange wince – the universal response whenever a fellow guy is hit in his private parts. I hear a few villainesses chuckle. However, they still look at us.

“What? Have you guys forgotten The Syndicate? Can’t we reminiscence old times?” I exclaim, mentioning the all-female gang Lady Beetle had once assembled.

They accept the explanation. I suppose they don’t want to risk their own ‘Little Wheels’. Soon enough, the assembly is once again divided into small groups of people discussing with each other.

Everyone in the lounge area is content with leaving me alone. White Rabbit is indeed not very popular among her peers. Most prefer to have nothing to do with her unless they can’t avoid it.

I don’t regret anymore having stolen White Rabbit’s identity. (Scratch that. It’s a lie. I still feel like a mix between a buffoon and a playgirl.) What I mean is that I regret it less, because it allows my accomplice and I to have some privacy.

When she sees nobody is looking at us anymore, Gwen discreetly grabs my arm. “What was that?”

“I asserted my dominance. He tried to belittle me, and I put him in his place.” I explain with whispers. “White Rabbit often kicks her goons around. Logically, she would respond the same way with a villain who’s below her in the hierarchy – and being head of security puts her above a loser like Big Wheel.”

Gwen pauses. “Impressive… You really know how to get in character…”

“That’s why you should leave the infiltration shenanigans to me.” I retort, half-serious, half-teasing.

“Hey! Without me, you’d be disguised as a rejected Alice in Wonderland mascot, and Big Wheel would be the one pushing you around…”

“Touché.” I admit. “Now, let’s gather some information.”

I head to the buffet, and grab a few snacks. (Hey! Don’t look at me like that! It’s only to protect my cover!) While eating, I discreetly look around.

I admit it’s a bit eery to see all these criminals chat with a cup of drink and a petit four, as if they are employees taking part in a seminar. I was expecting to find an assembly gathered around a speaker, not a group of people waiting for something in a cozy lounge area while enjoying their host’s food and drink. Clearly either the real reunion hasn’t begun yet, or it is already finished… or, most likely, there is a detail we’re missing.

I scan the main room. I recognize most of the faces.

“Only the small fries are here…” I then remark to my accomplice. “But something doesn’t add up.”

Gwen agrees. “This gathering must have cost a lot of cash. None of the villains here have enough money. Save maybe for Lorina, but since she was hired for the outer security, it can’t be her…”

“We’ll have to worm information out.” I announce.

Gwen nods.

There is a blank.

“Gwen… Lorina has been hired by the organizers… So she knows already who they are. I can’t ask.” I explain.

“Oh! Right. Sorry.”

Gwen approaches a group of masked villains.

“I thought we’d be lucky enough to see some big shots!” she comments out loud, doing a decent impersonation of Lady Beetle. (Thank God her beetle armor covers the mouth and hampers the sounds.) “I was promised some action!”

“You should have arrived on time. They were all here.” Scorpia retorts.

“They’re below. In the underground part. You know, the one reserved for the big shots.” Walrus adds. “Don’t know what they’re doing. Told us to wait here until they’re done. Then they’ll have a proposition. We have free snacks, so I’m not complaining.”

“But you better beware, if you don’t want to get grounded!” Coachwhip concludes.

“Why?”

“’Cause Tombstone is the Kingpin’s surprise guest of honor!”

“Tomb-” Gwen corrects herself just in time, remembering Tombstone is Janice/Lady Beetle's daddy, with whom she has a complicated relationship. “My father?”

It’s maybe my imagination, but I think I saw Coachwhip slightly raise an eyebrow. (She better not have figured out something fishy is going on, because if she did she’ll be tasting a knuckle sandwich in the restrooms!)

“Yep! So behave like a good daddy’s girl, if you don’t want to get in trouble…” Coachwhip finally quips.

She pauses as if she’s some stand-up comedian. Several villains laugh. We hear a few exclaim: “Daddy’s girl!”

Gwen takes advantage of the occasion. She pretends to take offense of their mockeries. It gives her an excuse to walk away, and to refuse to mingle with the others – which will be perfect for her to sneak in the isolated parts of the building without anyone questioning her absence. I see some villains exchange amused smiles. Good. Her comedy has worked.

“Change of plan. We have to find a way to enter the underground part…” Gwen concludes once we’re out of earshot.

I notice Coachwhip is discreetly glancing at us. I frown. Something seems wrong, but I can’t quite put my finger on it...

“We should go to a more private area…” I suggest, feeling a little wary. “I think I drank too much carrot juice… I need to go to the restrooms… and stay there for a while…”

Gwen immediately catches my drift. “Good idea.”

**************

When we walk across the main hall to go to the restrooms, Gwen and I notice an interesting detail. Masked villains and caterers aren’t the only people inside the building. I also recognize henchpeople from various factions.

I deduce White Rabbit’s gang was hired because the criminals attending the meeting wanted a neutral party to stand guard outside the warehouse. However, all the big shots brought with them their personal bodyguards.

“I recognize Madame Masque’s minions.” Gwen whispers.

“The ones with fedora hats work for Kingpin.” I add. “And the ones dressed like normal bodyguards must work for Tombstone. Though I heard Hammerhead is also using a ‘normal looking’ security detail lately.”

“So this is a reunion between mob bosses?”

“It looks like… That would explain why only the low-level masked villains are invited. I don’t know what the plan is, but I’d wager it needs a lot of manpower. Kingpin and his pals most likely want easily-controllable pawns. The strong supervillains are too powerful. Too unpredictable.”

A door and an elevator lead to the underground floor of the building. I smile when I notice a group of fedora-wearing henchpeople, soon followed by two Madame Masque minions, enter said door. Apparently, the personal guards of the bigwigs are allowed in the underground secret base...

“Only one way to find out more…” I comment.

**************

I chose the restrooms as our ambush place because I also need to get rid of the white make-up covering my face.

Gotta hand it to Kingpin. The guy is a ruthless criminal, but as a host, he’s most considerate. The women restrooms are as clean and pristine-looking as the rest of the building. I don’t know who’s the evil janitor taking care of the place, but hats off to them.

I look at myself in a mirror. Even with water, getting rid of the make-up will be difficult.

“Maybe impersonating White Rabbit wasn’t such a good idea…” I comment. “I suppose you don’t happen to carry a bottle of make-up remover on yourself…”

Gwen lets out an awkward cough. She’s holding a small bottle of make-up remover.

“Where did you-” I start asking.

“Under my costume. You thought I’d prepare a way to impersonate White Rabbit without bringing a way to remove the disguise?”

I could have kissed her. “Sometimes, Gwen, I just love how you’re a Miss Perfect!”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.” she dryly answers. “And then I suppose you’ll forgive me for having hidden the bottle in my cleavage.”

“Good one.” I chuckle. “You’re kidding, right?”

No answer.

I pale and lose my smile. “RIGHT?!”

Sometimes, I forget there are lines one can’t cross… Gwen is nice, but even she has her limits.

**************

The many times I ambushed a crook in the restrooms are the reason why I stopped fearing criminals. After you realize supervillains need to go to the bathroom like everyone else, they lose a lot of their mystique.

A few women enter and leave without questioning our presence. (They most likely assume Lady Beetle is still sulking.) Sadly, we can’t mug any of them. They’re either low-level masked crooks or members of the catering crew. Trapstr spends some time freshening her face, and I notice that, while she’s not wearing a mask, her sunglasses and scarf would actually do wonders to conceal my identity. Too bad my hair color doesn’t match and I don’t have a wig on me. Plus, she’s not part of the people allowed in the underground part. I’m putting a pin on that idea...

Coachwhip also enters the room at some point. However, when she sees us, she has a small moment of hesitation. Then she leaves. Apparently, she fears reprisals from Lady Beetle after her mockeries, and doesn’t want to be left alone in the same room...

Then, luck finally smiles at us.

The two newcomers are working for Madame Masque. I recognize the uniforms modeled after Masque’s own costume: white boots and gloves, and catsuit with a white torso and black limbs. And, of course, there is a small golden mask covering the eyes.

Jackpot!

The first woman has dark brown hair, a light skin, and hazel eyes. Her hairdo is a short square cut. Her face is diamond-shaped, with a pointy chin. The second henchgirl has sunny blond hair tied up into a short ponytail, a round-shaped face with a beauty spot on the cheek, a white skin, and blue eyes. Both are of average size, if a bit fitter than the everyday woman thanks to their evil training, which will make it easier for us to impersonate them.

“I know there's still time, but don’t take too long.” the brunette tells the blonde.

“It’s not my fault the drinks and snacks here are so delicious!” her partner jokes.

The blond minion enters a stall, while the other goes to the sinks and washes her face. Apparently, she doesn’t need to use the restrooms, she just came to accompany her friend.

Looks like the cliché of the girls always going to the restrooms in group has some truth in it, even in criminal organizations…

I exchange a nod with Gwen. She goes to wait in front of the stall while I approach the other minion.

The brunette has removed her mask, and is checking herself in the mirror. She hums a happy little tune, which I find odd. She’s a bad guy. Couldn’t she whistle something ominous – like the Imperial March for instance?

When the minion sees ‘White Rabbit’s reflection, she does her best to ignore me.

Poor Lorina… Apparently, even other criminals’ henchpeople don’t respect her…

However, it also gives me the opportunity. When I strike, I take my foe completely by surprise.

I don’t have my Night Stick on me anymore, since it’s hard to conceal anything under White Rabbit’s stupidly revealing outfit. (Plus I’m quite sure one moron would have made a dirty joke if they saw a bunny girl carrying a long stick-like object.) Thankfully, I didn’t only study drama. I also studied martial arts – including the ancient noble art of the neckchop.

I hit the minion at the exact spot, right in-between the shoulder and the neck. The brunette groans, and falls onto the tiled floor, legs and arms spread. Out cold.

In my back, I hear the stall’s door being opened, and Gwen immediately taking action.

There is a surprised “Uh?!”. Then the sound of Gwen tackling the blond henchwoman inside the stall. Two swift hits are dealt with surgical precision. One punch to the stomach in order to daze – I recognize the typical ‘gasp’ – then one neckchop to knock the girl out. The minion lets out a faint grunt. I hear her limp unconscious body being caught by Gwen mid-fall, and seated onto the toilet bowl.

I don’t even bother with turning my head to take a look. I grab the brown-haired henchwoman by the ankles, pick up her mask, and drag her inside an empty stall.

Stripping the brunette is quick. The fact most of her uniform consists in a one-piece catsuit makes things easier for me. Once I remove the boots, gloves, and weapon belt, and peel off the catsuit, the henchwoman is left clad in her practical grey boxer under-shorts with a black waiststrap, blue sports socks, and cream white t-shirt bra.

In the cleaning equipment closet, I find coils of thin-but-strong white strings and one roll of thick tape. I grab a couple, and return inside the stall to bind the woman. Since my victim is a normal human, I think they’ll be enough.

I cross-tie her hands behind her back, and then wrap strings around her shoulders and upper-arms, and tighten them to pin her upper-arms against her sides. Then I bind her legs with strings. Since I don’t have much tape, I prioritize its uses. I use it first to wrap-gag and to blindfold the criminal. Then I wrap several layers around her wrists, hands and fingers; and finally a couple of layers around her calves.

I leave the woman seated on the toilet seat, and check my ropework. God, I love cleaning closets!

I hear the door of Gwen’s stall being opened.

Inside, seated in a corner, the blond henchwoman is webbed. A cocoon of web immobilizes her upper-body, binding her arms behind her back. Web is also wrapped around her legs, and is covering her mouth and her eyes. I notice the woman’s kinky-looking red g-string. When I see the minion’s shoulders are bare, I realize she was going topless, but Gwen was kind enough to cover her chest with web when binding her.

“What took you so long? I even had the time to bind and gag mine! And without fancy webs!” I comment.

“I’m not as quick as you when it comes to stripping women.”

Glad to hear there’s one field in which I’m better than Miss Perfect. Undressing unconscious women. I don’t know if I should feel proud or worry about my choices in life…

“We leave them inside the stalls?” Gwen asks.

I shake my head. “Too risky. We can’t leave two stalls out of order. That would quickly look suspicious. We don’t know how much time we’ll need. Let’s use the cleaning closet.”

No sooner said than done. We stash the two women in- between brooms and buckets. The fit is tight, we have to squeeze their unconscious bodies against each other a little. Sucks to be them!

When I return inside a stall and use the toilet to remove my make-up, Gwen is charitable and doesn’t make any inappropriate joke. We both know it would be too risky to remove my White Rabbit make-up in open view. Though the white porcelain of the bowl is so clean, I bet one could actually drink the toilet’s water. Gotta thank the Kingpin later for making this less awkward…

Gwen’s make-up removal is top quality – of course Miss Perfect would buy the best one in the market. No sooner said than done, White Rabbit’s make-up has become a bad memory. I also get rid of the wig.

I feel liberated when I slip out of Lorina’s outfit, and put on the still-tacky-but-less-ridiculous uniform of Madame Masque’s Minions. (The MMMs as I like to call them. Please pronounce M&Ms for the joke to work.) At least, now I’m not displaying my legs to all the perverts out there...

When I leave the stall, Gwen is waiting for me, already dressed as a Madame Masque Minion. (With our hair, she’s the Yellow M&M, and I’m the Red M&M.)

We hide the Lady Beetle and White Rabbit costumes with the two bound-and-gagged henchwomen inside the cleaning equipment closet, and jam its lock just in case.

Then we quickly check ourselves in the mirrors.

Perfect. We look perfect! Gwen has tied up her light blond hair into a tight severe-looking bun, and I have to say she looks pretty credible as a professional thug-for-hire. Though my pixie cut also makes me look like a tough thug with the right expression and outfit.

We exit the restrooms.

I smile. “Next stop, underground lair.”

“Wait. First, I’d like to check the storage rooms area. To see if we can escape the place through there if things go south.”

Gwen is the kind of woman who wants her contingency plans to have contingency plans. Still, I don’t try to argue. It’s not the first time…

When we pass through the main hall, nobody notices us. I catch a glimpse of conversation about Lady Beetle. Someone is joking she’s still sulking. I notice nobody cares about White Rabbit’s absence – on the contrary, everyone seems glad she’s not here.

Good. It’ll give us the time we need.

**************

We quickly check the area of the storage and maintenance rooms. We notice an emergency backdoor. This satisfies Gwen. I can see in her eyes she has already come up with an escape plan.

I smile. “Next stop (for real this time), underground lair!”

On the way back, we hear some noises coming from a storage room. Rustles and voices.

Gwen hesitates. “Should we-?”

“- investigate? We better not. They wouldn’t take kindly to our intrusion. Plus, imagine we interrupt a romantic intercourse.”

Gwen looks sideways at me. “You speak like you’ve already come across such a thing…”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

What has been seen… cannot be unseen…

Gwen understands she shouldn’t open my old psychological wounds, and doesn’t press the topic.

We take the door leading to the underground floor. (Gwen doesn’t want to use the elevator. Too much risks of getting stuck if there’s a trap. At least it’s good for my cardio!)

**************

The underground part of the building looks a lot more like what an evil base should look in my humble opinion.

No cosy Art-and-Deco reunion room. This time, there are white walls, neon lighting, and plenty of monitoring consoles with lots of colorful buttons and complicated schematics. A bunch of scientists and technicians clad in evil uniforms are running right and left, under the supervision of henchmen and henchwomen.

“Holy cow… They even hired some A.I.M. agents. Dude spared no expense.” I comment to myself when Gwen and I pass next to a group of people wearing the inimitable (and deliciously tacky) bright yellow hazmat suits of the Advanced Idea Mechanics.

I don’t know yet what’s going on here, but it’s pretty clear that SOMETHING BIG is going on.

“I’d like to get my hands on one of the computers...” I add. “I could access the details of their plan.”

“People will become suspicious if they see Masque’s security detail nose around in the computer rooms…” Gwen remarks.

I eye at some of the various A.I.M. agents, scientists and technicians. “You know what that means…”

Gwen pretends to roll her eyes. “Why does every team-up with you always ends up a mugging-for-disguise fest?”

I shrug. “Karma, I guess.”

**************

The good thing about underground evil lairs is that they’re often labyrinthine, with many isolated corridors, closets, and storage rooms.

The bigwigs actually haven’t started the real reunion yet. Kingpin loves his theatrics… And I suppose the other mob bosses are purposefully late to show him he’s not their boss, just their equal partner, and he can't order them around. In the meantime, their personal security details are allowed to roam freely, as long as they don’t enter some forbidden rooms. We take advantage of the situation to explore the area.

The atmosphere is tense. Since many rival groups of minions are gathered in one enclosed space, it’s not a surprise. They must have received strict instructions, because they’re purposefully avoiding each other to prevent a fight from breaking out. However, it’s also something we can take advantage of. In that context, nobody questions why two M&Ms are trying to isolate themselves.

We notice a door that looks important during our exploration. Some sort of file room. Only employees of the lair can enter it, and the door it currently locked. I suppose people will raise an eyebrow if they see us try to force it. We save that one for later.

It takes us some time, but our search is finally rewarded when we locate two lone women working on a console in an isolated area. Given their uniforms (bright blue zip-up work jumpsuits, orange work helmets, and black works shoes), they are low-level technicians. No A.I.M. agent would indeed bother with basic maintenance if they can avoid it!

The first one is a black-skinned woman with puffy black hair and dark brown eyes. She’s lying on the floor, busy manipulating the cables inside the console. The second one is a redhead with green eyes and a milky white skin. Her haircut is a low braided bun. She’s crouched next to the toolbox, and handing her colleagues the tools she asks.

“I think I know what the problem is… Hand me the 00 screwdriver…” the black technician says.

Gwen and I approach the women. They’re so engrossed in their work they barely notice us. The redhead gives us a quick glance, but when she sees our uniforms she stops paying us attention. As minions of Madame Masque (M&Ms!), we’re allowed to be here, lazing around and watching other people work.

We size the two women up. A decent fit. The black woman is curvier and has wider hips than Gwen or I; and the redhead has a flat chest. However, given how baggy the work jumpsuits are, it won’t be a problem.

I take advantage of the fact the black-skinned technician still has her nose in the console’s cables. I move behind her colleague, nonchalantly, resisting the urge to whistle innocently. (It would be too much…)

Then, I strike. This time I go for a nerve-pinch. I rarely use it because it’s actually a lot harder than it looks. But in this situation, it’s my best option. (Have YOU ever tried to perform a neckchop while bending forward because your victim is squatting?)

I grab the spot, and pinch the pressure point near the left shoulder.

The red-haired technician gasps, but barely makes a sound. Her eyes roll back, and she slumps into my arms deeply unconscious. Her colleague remains none the wiser, as I silently drag the redhead out of sight by the undershoulders.

“Finally!” the black-skinned technician exclaims as she manages to solve the breakdown.

She moves away from the console, and stands up.

“One less problem to worry about.”

Gwen greets her with two shots of web, covering her eyes and mouth, effectively blindfolding and gagging her.

“Took the words out of my mouth.”

Then she grabs the woman by the shoulders.

“Mph?!”

**************

Ten seconds later...

“You should leave the witty one-liners to me.” I joke.

Gwen shrugs as she picks up the knocked out black-skinned woman.

An unarmed untrained technician against Ghost Spider... The fight was so uneven, I’m sparing you the details.

“You don’t have the monopoly on quips.” my partner playfully retorts.

We’re currently dragging the two unconscious technicians inside a nearby server room.

“True. But they sound cooler when I make them.”

Gwen sighs. “You also don’t need to try so hard being better than everyone at something. Being reasonably good at anything is nothing to be ashamed of.”

I realize she’s being serious again, and prefer to drop the subject entirely.

Thankfully, I can change the topic by reminding we need to strip two women down to their skivvies. (Wow, that’s one rare sentence! Though on second thought, not that rare if you're me.)

First we unclip and take off the helmets, then unlace and pull off the protective shoes. Removing the work jumpsuits is as easy as removing a MMM catsuit. Maybe Madame Masque uses discarded work jumpsuits for her minion’s costumes?

The black-skinned technician is left wearing a golden yellow racerback bra with black stripes, matching hip-hugging panties, and grey socks; and the redhead is left clad in a forest green cami bra with a pattern of black flowers, black boyshorts with a pattern of green leaves, and green socks.

I take advantage of the fact Gwen needs more time than me to strip her woman, and quickly grab a couple of spare computer cables lying in a corner. I test their resistance. They’re way sturdy enough to restrain someone. Therefore, when my partner is done, she finds I’m already binding the redhead’s wrists behind her back.

Gwen rolls her eyes, but doesn’t comment. She simply webs the wrists, ankles, knees, and upper-arms of the black-skinned technician, and covers her mouth with web to gag her.

At the same time, I finish binding the redhead’s wrists. Then I restrain her ankles, her thighs, and her shoulders with more cables. When it comes to the gag, I’m happy to find a roll of black tape on a shelf – it would have been awkward to ask Gwen to use her web after my little stunt. I shove the woman’s socks into her mouth Sorry for the inconvenience, but I can’t let Miss Perfect have the last word. Then I wrap the tape to secure the gag.

We leave the bound-and-gagged real technicians concealed in a corner of the room, behind some consoles, alongside with our Madame Masque Minion outfits.

Next, we swiftly slip into the work jumpsuits, put on the protective shoes, and use the helmet to conceal our hair. Then we exit the server room.

**************

Our new disguises allow us to look a lot more innocuous, and to walk unnoticed.

Gwen locates a computer in an isolated corner of the lair, half-obscured by a bunch of monitoring consoles. Here, we’re more or less concealed.

As I’m sitting behind the console, Gwen and I see Madame Masque come out of a corridor. She glances in our direction, and we pretend to be busy working. Our disguises seem to work. The mob boss barely pays us any attention. She hurriedly walks away. She must be late to the meeting...

I stretch my fingers. “Alright, baby, spill all your secrets…” It doesn’t take me long to enter the system. Those morons are so overconfident, they didn’t even put a password!

After a quick search...

“Bingo! Let’s see what we have here… … … The Cube?”

I find some complicated schematics detailing a cube-shaped device.

“Don’t know what this does… but it looks like we found the secret project.”

“I could study its features with Peter and Miles back at our laboratory.” Gwen intervenes. “It’s best we don’t waste too much time here.”

“Agreed.”

I download all the schematics on a USB key.

Suddenly, Gwen grabs my shoulder.

“MJ…” she whispers.

I look at the same direction as her.

We see in the distance a group of people enter a room. They’re escorted by a literal small army of bodyguards.

Kingpin, Tombstone, Hammerhead, Madame Masque, and a bunch of less famous but still powerful mob bosses.

I feel a sudden rush of adrenaline, excitement, eagerness, and apprehension. The occasion is too good...

“We- We have to know what they’re saying...”

Gwen nods. “But I don’t think low-level maintenance workers like us are welcome in their reunion.”

**************

The slow infiltration has turned into a race against the clock, to find suitable uniforms.

“I have an idea.” Gwen intervenes.

She proposes we return to the file room we spotted earlier.

“I don’t see Kingpin carry himself the files he needs to show the other bosses. In fact, I can perfectly picture him having them brought during the reunion. It’s more theatrical that way. He must have sent someone to fetch them. With some luck, they’re still in the file room. And we can impersonate them.”

That would require a lot of luck, but it’s our best shot. Worst case scenario, we leave with the schematics. It’s still better than nothing.

We walk hurriedly, and reach the room. This time, the door is open.

Gwen’s reasoning proves to be correct.

There are three women inside. Two are A.I.M. agents, their entire bodies concealed under yellow hazmat suits and boots. (Though we can see they’re women thanks to their figures.)

It’s the third one Gwen and I are worried about. She’s not your usual run-of-the-mill henchwoman. She’s a masked villainess. Her face is concealed by an expressionless iron grey mask imitating the designs of iron maidens. Her body is protected by a shining grey flexible metal costume, made of metal plates that looks almost scale-like, as well as metallic high boots protecting her legs. Her only other article of clothes is a light purple hood covering her head.

Iron Maiden. Real name: Melina Vostokova. Former agent of the Russian government. Now freelance mercenary and assassin for hire. Master of hand-to-hand combat, skilled in assassination techniques, and expert with most known weapons. Without her suit, she’s a force to be reckoned with. With her suit, she’s even deadlier, as her body armor increases her strength.

At least, contrary to Lady Beetle, she can’t fly...

“Careful with that. Boss doesn’t want his demonstration to be ruined.” Iron Maiden is instructing the two agents when they pick up a metal suitcase, and a bunch of papers.

Looks like the Kingpin has found a new head of security…

Usually, I wouldn’t even dream of confronting someone like Iron Maiden. However, fortunately, I happen to be doing this mission with a super-powered person.

I feel like the cocky kid in the playground, the one who hides behind her stronger friend…

“It’s out best shot to spy on the meeting.”

Gwen nods. “We’ll only have one chance. I have to strike Iron Maiden first. To take her by surprise. Cover my left flank.”

“Roger that.”

We discreetly enter the room. The three women are still busy preparing some documents, as well as this metal suitcase. (I wonder if the Cube is inside.) I silently close the door.

Then Gwen strikes at inhuman speed. Or, more precisely, superhuman speed. People who only know the Spider-People by reputation, and never saw them first-hand, have a hard time realizing just how fast and agile they can be when they truly go all out. Even I, who’s used to it, have a hard time keeping up when they get truly serious.

In one jump, Gwen covers all the distance between her and the three women. With one mighty punch of her fist protected by a layer of web, she hits the back of Iron Maiden’s head. The woman’s armor absorbs some of the blow, but she’s still dazed and unbalanced. Gwen takes advantage of the momentum, and shoots web to obscure the visors of the A.I.M. agents hazmat suits, preventing them from seeing her face. While the two women are reflexively trying to remove the web, Iron Maiden turns to face her foe. Gwen immediately shoots web in her mask’s eye sockets to blind her. Melina takes a step back, and swears in Russian. Gwen doesn’t give her the time to recover. She shoots one string of web, and pulls on it to pull out Iron Maiden’s mask. Then she punched her foe’s now exposed face. Iron Maiden groans, spins on herself, and falls on her butt. A second punch, this time to the temple, puts her out of commission. Knocked out, she falls still onto the floor, arms and legs spread.

Now that the main threat is out of the way, Gwen wastes no time, and shoots more web at the first A.I.M. agent to immobilize her.

However, the second A.I.M. agent has pulled out a small vial. It contains an acid specifically designed to remove Spider-People’s web. Once her visor is cleaned, she aims a gun at Gwen’s back.

That’s my cue. Before the woman can open fire, I hit the back of her head with my joined fists. The A.I.M. agent grunts, and falls face down onto the floor. Out cold.

At the same time, Gwen knocks out the first A.I.M. agent with one punch.

I take a breath, feeling a rush of adrenaline. Everything was over in forty seconds flat…

We don’t waste time. Since we don’t need the outfit of the A.I.M. agent who’s already webbed up, we don’t bother with releasing her. We simply remove the helmet of the hazmat suit, revealing a cute woman with shoulder-long curly brown hair, chestnut brown eyes, a slightly tanned skin, and nerd glasses. Then Gwen gags and blindfolds her with some web. (She’s kind enough to remove the glasses beforehand, and then put them back on.)

Melina and the second A.I.M agent aren’t as lucky…

Gwen knows enough about the Iron Maiden power armor to safely remove it, so she starts stripping Melina. After taking off the cowl, she presses some specific parts of the costume, and the metal plates actually loosen themselves.

Meanwhile, I unzip the A.I.M. agent’s hazmat suit. I take off the hazmat helmet and boots, then I peel off the suit.

The removed outfit reveals an auburn-haired middle-aged white woman with a long pointy chin, blue eyes, a long nose, and sharp cheekbones. Her hair is tied up into a low bun. She’s wearing a plain white tank top, but her other undergarments are a lot more… ehem… interesting. Under the tank top, I can discern a bright pink lacy push-up bra adorned with lace translucent flowers. The high-cut panties match the bra – bright pink and lacy with a flower pattern, and she’s also wearing a matching garter belt. Even the socks are hot pink. A date was planned after her shift, I’d wager.

Once I’m done, I glance at Gwen and her victim. I can’t help but be curious to see what Iron Maiden truly looks like…

She’s as strict-looking as one would expect a professional assassin to be. Brown hair tied up into a tight no-nonsense ponytail, and thin sharp face. Her white skin almost looks cold, same with her light brown eyes of which I catch a glimpse when Gwen checks if she’s deeply unconscious.

Her undergarments are very plain – white socks, white control briefs, and a white full-cup bra.

I can’t help but remember this rumor pretending Russian women always choose the most boring sets of underwear...

It pains me, but since time is of the essence, I allow Gwen to use her web to bind, gag and blindfold the two women.

In no time, Iron Maiden and the auburn-haired A.I.M. agent are mummified from shoulders to feet, gagged, and blindfolded by sturdy white web.

Now that we’re sure the three women can’t cause any fuss, I glance at the two discarded sets of clothes.

“Iron Maiden will interact with Kingpin. I should wear her armor.” I announce.

“You don’t know the technology. These power suits aren’t as easy to use as you think.”

“You already disguised yourself as Lady Beetle!” I complain with a pout. “I’m tired of being the one who wears the tacky costumes! I wanna look cool for once!”

Gwen rolls her eyes.

“And I insist. I’m better than you at impersonation.” I add.

“Okay. You won. Her suit is easier to configure than the Beetle armor.” Gwen quickly manipulates something inside the Iron Maiden power armor. “There. It won’t enhance your strength, but you’ll be able to walk normally while wearing it. Let’s just conceal Melina and her two goonettes first.”

We open the archive closets, and find out some are empty. Moreover, the shelves can be unclipped. Perfect!

We remove enough shelves to be able to stash the three women in a seated position, with the chin resting against the knees, in three different closets. We conceal the technicians uniforms with them, and close the doors.

Then we get dressed. Gwen tweaks something else in Iron Maiden’s power armor, then allows me to slip into the costume. At the same time, she puts on the A.I.M. hazmat suit. I admit I feel a lot safer when I conceal my identity with Iron Maiden’s mask and cowl.

**************

Wearing Iron Maiden’s power armor is a strange experience. The costume is actually a lot lighter than it looks – I guess it’s thanks to Gwen’s settings.

We enter the room in which all the mob bosses are gathered.

Kingpin is sitting at the end of the table. The place of honor. The bald mob boss smiles. “Ah, Melina! Fashionably late, as any good lady should be!” he comments while waving his cigar.

His glare sends shivers down my spine. His tone is friendly, but his eyes tell a different story. Fortunately, he quickly turns his attention back on his guests.

“My good friends, I hope you’ll forgive my theatrics. But I needed to have your full attention.” he adds.

I understand we weren’t supposed to arrive this late. It’s only because Kingpin was able to save face by pretending our tardiness was planned all along that we aren’t punished here and there.

With one gesture of his cigar, Kingpin instructs me to put the suitcase on the table. I obey him diligently, and place the suitcase in open view.

However, just as I’m about to walk away, like the good attack dog I’m supposed to be, Kingpin suddenly grabs my arm – his movement as fast as an attacking snake. In spite of the metallic body armor, I can’t help but wince a little under his grip. Thankfully, the iron maiden mask hides my face.

“Why did you take so much time? I almost looked like a buffoon in front of everyone!” Kingpin whispers. Now that he doesn’t need to keep up appearances, his voice is colder than ice.

My mind races.

Thankfully, all my drama lessons pay off. I answer while imitating Iron Maiden’s mannerisms and Russian accent. (The mask also helps me, as it muffles my voice.)

“Her partner was a klutz who didn’t know how to properly handle your equipment.” I whisper while discreetly pointing at the disguised Gwen with my chin. “So I made an example of her.”

Kingpin takes a puff on his cigar. Then he let go of my arm. “Good thinking.”

I realize I made the right decision when I insisted to play the part of Iron Maiden. I’m sure Gwen wouldn’t have been able to impersonate her well enough.

Looks like it pays sometimes to be childish!

The other mob bosses don’t seem to have noticed our exchange – save for Madame Masque. They’re all trying to figure out what the suitcase contains.

Tombstone finally asks the question everyone has on their lips. “What’s this supposed to be?”

“This is the future.” Kingpin answers.

He makes a show of unlocking and opening the suitcase. Inside, there is a cube-shaped device. I recognize the one I saw on the console.

There is a brief moment of silence.

“The future looks like some ugly paperweight to me.” Madame Masque intervenes.

Hammerhead snorts with laughter.

However, Kingpin doesn’t lose his patience. “This device is the result of an investment of billions of dollars and the combination of the most advanced human and non-human technologies out there.” He pauses dramatically. “Gentlemen-” The bald mob boss glances at Madame Masque. “-and woman. This device has the power to send an IMP wave powerful enough to destroy all the electronics in an area the size of New York. Picture this: The banks’ high-tech security systems. Police’s and army’s communication devices. The stock market’s database. All gone at the press of a button.”

Kingpin now has everyone’s attention.

The pacemakers… The hospitals… The life supports… The airports... I think to myself, horrified at the implications of such a device.

“The entire city will be thrown into chaos. A chaos which we’ll use to empty as many vaults as we can, thanks to the help of all our costumed friends gathered above. We’ll make sure to target all the city with our wave save for this specific location. Which means they, and we, will be the only ones in New York with functioning technology.”

So that’s the reason why he asked so many costumed villains to come... The C-list baddies of Spider-Man's rogue gallery may look like losers compared to superheroes, but for the average citizen they’re still a threat. If all technology is rendered useless, they could do a lot of damage.

“So your big plan is a mass bank robbery?” Madame Masque intervenes. “I was expecting something a bit more… ambitious.”

Kingpin chuckles. It’s clear he was expecting, and even hoping, someone to point that out. “No, my dear. This is only the first step. New York will be a… demonstration, for the entire world to witness. After seeing that, how much do you think the world governments will agree to pay to not be the next target? We’ll ransom them billions Anonymously of course. We’re all respectable businessmen here. Think of it my good friends. We could rule the world from the shadows and-”

Kingpin is interrupted in the middle of his tirade by one of his fedora-wearing henchmen entering the room. The bald mob boss glares daggers at the newcomer.

“I hope for your sake it’s important.” he growls, while aggressively chomping on his cigar.

The goon sweats nervously. He’s right to be anxious. Kingpin hates being interrupted, and isn’t known for taking incompetence lightly. “We’ve received a message from the security detail outside.” The henchman glances at Tombstone, and hesitates.

Kingpin loses patience. “Spit it out!”

“They’ve found some women stripped and trussed up in a tool shed. Their clothes were stolen by spies. One of them was White Rabbit. And an other was Lady Beetle.”

Tombstone immediately jumps from his chair. He’s seething with anger. I pity the poor fools who ambushed his daughter…

Oh! Right. It was us… Oops!

“The Wonderland gang is combing the area.” the poor henchman concludes. “A- Apparently, there are several more mugged women in the area. They’re all sentries.”

There is a short moment of tensed silence.

“Whose bright idea was it to hire Lorina’s Wonderland Gang again? Sometimes, the cheapest option isn’t the best.” Madame Masque suddenly mocks.

Every person in the room looks at the Kingpin, awaiting the inevitable explosion. However, the bald crime boss keeps his cool. He finishes his cigar in one go, and blows a cloud of smoke. Then, when he speaks, his voice is soft, but also colder than ice.

“Ladies and gentlemen… It seems we have a couple of rats inside the building. The chase is on.”

“I ask for the favor to lead the search.” Tombstone intervenes. “Whoever these spies are, I’ll make them regret they were born.”

“Of course. I suggest capturing them alive. An example must be made of…” Kingpin snaps his fingers. “Melina!”

I immediately takes a step forward, moving as if I was a trained soldier. “Sir?”

“Secure the Cube. Take a few of my men with you.”

In spite of the danger, I bless my stroke of luck. Still, I stay in-character.

My disguise is the only thing keeping me alive...

“Yes, sir!”

I grab the Cube. I wish I could see Kingpin’s face when he’ll realize he basically willingly gave one intruder his precious secret weapon...

Then I point at Gwen, and two women wearing the uniforms of Kingpin’s security detail. My heart is pounding, but I’m already thinking of a plan...

“You three, with me.”

**************

I mentally thank Gwen’s and my decision to explore the lair when we were still disguised as Madame Masque Minions. Thanks to that knowledge, I can move in the area as if I knew its layout. Or at least with enough confidence to make it look like I know it.

The two fedora-wearing henchwomen follow me. Both are tall athletic-looking thugs, with the sinister attitude to match. The first one has closely cropped black hair, a dark skin, sunken cheekbones, and brown eyes. There is a scar on her left cheek. The second thug has brown hair, emerald green eyes, a broken nose, and a slightly tanned skin. Her haircut is a tight short braid.

They’re clad in light brown fedora hats, white button-up shirts, pristine beige suit jackets, tailor-made matching suits trousers, and black shoes.

I must admit their outfits make them look classy. Gotta love the whole ‘Al Capone gangster’ aesthetics. I almost regret they didn’t go all out, and use Tommy guns. Kingpin has good taste. Usually, low-level minions look like buffoons. Just ask the Wonderland Gang...

Gwen is following the three of us in silence. I can’t see her face, but I assume she has understood what my plan was when I selected two female minions. At least I hope.

We can’t mug and strip the henchwomen in open view. Not with all the corridors being searched. I figure out I need to lead them into an isolated area of the lair.

The first room I think of is the administrative room in which the real Iron Maiden and A.I.M. agents are still stashed. Probably not the most isolated area, but the thugs wouldn’t question my decision to go there to put the Cube inside its safe.

When we enter the room, I hear some faint muffled sounds. Apparently, Melina and/or her goons have woken up. Thankfully, with the way Gwen webbed them, they can’t bang for help. Someone who doesn’t know what (more precisely WHO)’s inside the closets will believe it's simply the ventilation.

“Aren’t you hearing something?” the brown-haired henchwoman asks.

She doesn’t notice Gwen closing the door.

Quick. Divert her attention.

“Don’t lose your focus. The intruders could be in this very room. For instance, they could be right behind you. Ready to CONK YOUR HEADS TOGETHER to knock you out.”

Gwen immediately catches on.

“Yeah right. As if that’d happen.” one fedora-wearing henchwoman snorts.

My partner immediately proves her wrong.

Two CONKs later, the minions are taking a nap, the black-haired one lying on top of the brunette.

“Suckers.” I comment.

We immediately start stripping them. I grab the brunette, and Gwen grabs the black-haired one.

First, I unlace and take off the shoes. Then I unclip the belt, and peel off the trousers. (Now, I’m regretting the fact they’re tailor-made.) The removed garment reveals vintage 1930’s white panties with a pattern of flowers. I commend the woman’s care for details. Next, I unbutton the suit jacket and button-up shirt and pull them off. The bra is also vintage, and has a matching pattern and matching colors. Her socks are light pink.

Curiosity gets the better of me, and I can’t help but glance at the black-haired crook, to see if her lingerie is also vintage. And it is. Retro salmon pink high panties, a matching bra with a pattern of lace flowers, and white socks.

Who would have guessed these two tough thugs secretly liked to feel sexy by wearing feminine retro lingerie? I have to say, I often learn a lot about the crooks I mug just by getting a look at their skivvies. (Sometimes too much in fact.)

Gwen webs the two half-naked minions together, face-to-face with the hands tied behind the back. When she’s done, the henchwomen are trapped in a cocoon of web, covering their bodies from the mouths to the ankles, effectively binding and gagging them.

We conceal the duo under the desk, then get rid of our current outfits. (Gwen helps me take off the powered armor.)

We grab the spare outfits.

“My, my, what a sight.” a female voice suddenly intervened. “It’s not every day you catch two snoops with their pants down. Literally.”

We wince.

Crap! We've been found!

(And of course it had to be just as I was down to my skivvies...)

[meditions142]

Great story and continuation of the collaboration!

The bathroom ambush of the henchgirls was great. Love the description "Thankfully, I didn’t only study drama. I also studied martial arts – including the ancient noble art of the neckchop. I hit the minion at the exact spot, right in-between the shoulder and the neck."

Also cool is that we don't see Gwen taking out the other woman but we get an exact picture of the event from the sounds. Love the description there too: "One punch to the stomach in order to daze – I recognize the typical ‘gasp’ – then one neckchop to knock the girl out. The minion lets out a faint grunt. I hear her limp unconscious body being caught by Gwen mid-fall, and seated onto the toilet bowl."

Also great description of the nerve pinch on the technician. The wording is so perfect "I grab the spot, and pinch the pressure point near the left shoulder. The red-haired technician gasps, but barely makes a sound. Her eyes roll back, and she slumps into my arms deeply unconscious." I find the the description of the woman gasping, her eyes rolling back and then slumping into her attacker's arms really sexy.

Thanks for writing another great chapter!

[tirepanted3]

A fun continuation, for a story I'm happy to partake in. Hope that doesn't make me sound biased.

I really love MJ's internal monologue - as it's becoming clear, first-person narration is a great way to include a lot of extra humor in a story.

She’s a bad guy. Couldn’t she whistle something ominous – like the Imperial March for instance?

(Gwen doesn’t want to use the elevator. Too much risks of getting stuck if there’s a trap. At least it’s good for my cardio!)

I have to say, I often learn a lot about the crooks I mug just by getting a look at their skivvies. (Sometimes too much in fact.)

Whether they relate to the USB scenes or not, they provide excellent texture to MJ's character, and they're just plain funny as well.

I particularly love the part with the technicians, and the way they're ambushed. It's great how one technician is working under a vehicle and doesn't notice her friend has been mugged, until it's too late. Then Gwen webs her mouth and grabs the surprised woman by the shoulders, with a quippy one-liner as she does so, before knocking her out off-screen (so to speak). Great stuff.

The Iron Maiden scene was good too - I don't think we know what she looks like under her mask in the comics, but I presume you used her character in the Black Widow movie (who is not really a villain, but that doesn't matter) as inspiration? Either way, it works well.

I can’t help but remember this rumor pretending Russian women always choose the most boring sets of underwear...

Alas, this seems to be true across multiple dimensions... Poor Sonja.

[rufusluciusivan]

To meditions: I'm glad you liked it. I confess I didn't remember your fondness for nerve pinches when I wrote this specific part, so it's a happy coincidence. (The neck chops were, however, NOT a coincidence. )

To tirepanted: Of course you're biased, but objectivity is an illusion when commenting literature or art.

I agree I didn't expect first-person narration to be so much fun. The pleasures of discovering new things.

I find it interesting (and funny) that among all the characters mugged, the ones who left the most impression on you are the ones wearing normal uniforms. Discovering what parts of a story left the biggest impact (and discovering that usually it's not the ones I thought would be impactful) is always the most interesting aspect of these comments.

I indeed used a picture of Iron Maiden in the latest movie to describe her appearance here. A little Easter Egg. (And yes, the comment about Russian underwear was meant to be understood the way you understood it. )

[tirepanted3]

I find it interesting (and funny) that among all the characters mugged, the ones who left the most impression on you are the ones wearing normal uniforms. Discovering what parts of a story left the biggest impact (and discovering that usually it's not the ones I thought would be impactful) is always the most interesting aspect of these comments.

Similar to how the most popular scene in my chapter seems to be the mugging of Timber the waitress. Maybe it helps that these scenes are a little more down to earth, a little more familiar in a sense, than the ones where the characters mug women in colorful costumes. (Even though that was the initial spark for this series to begin with.)

I indeed used a picture of Iron Maiden in the latest movie to describe her appearance here. A little Easter Egg. (And yes, the comment about Russian underwear was meant to be understood the way you understood it. )

I figured. Classic crossover-within-another-crossover.