A Lady Beetle and a White Rabbit

[rufusluciusivan]

A huge shout-out and huge thanks to tirepanted, who helped me in my research and answered my questions about obscure Marvel villainesses.




A Lady Beetle and a White Rabbit

**************

So, if you’re wondering how this story began, here’s a brief sum-up: A bad guys gathering. A snoop, yours truly. Screwball, a witless wannabee villainess who gets her uniform stolen. Tacky color-coded underwear. Tape. (Lots of tape.) Also a pair of zip-ties, but those are boring.

(You can also check the previous story. viewtopic.php?f=234&t=8827 Hopefully, it’s better written than my summary. Plus, I describe myself and my curves here.)

And now, your favorite Uniform-Stealing Mary-Jane (US-MJ? The patriotic MJ?) is ready to spy on the evil-doers, and to do some damage-control.

Forget Earth-616! In my universe, we have convoluted infiltration plots, and women mugging each others for disguise. Isn’t Earth-USB the coolest?

**************

Back on track...

Screwball’s costume is tacky, but comfortable. The helmet fits perfectly, my hair don’t get in the way. (Why do you think I’m the Mary-Jane who chose a pixie cut? Not many bad guys have red hair like mine, so I often need to hide them.) The tinted glasses take a little adjusting, but they are necessary to conceal my identity.

I’m carrying a backpack on me. And yes, it’s an other of Screwball’s merchandise I had to buy on her website. At this rate, I’m becoming her number 1 client. I even have enough loyalty point to get a free sticker... Inside the backpack, there are tools to knock out and bind people – like my trusty Night Stick, a canister of knock-out gas, ropes, (boring) zip-ties, syringes of sedative drug, and rolls of tape (the Screwball-themed ones).

I wouldn’t call myself an expert acrobat, but I’m athletic enough to look the part when I impersonate the parkour expert I mugged.

Besides, I actually stopped filming during the most part of the trip, so I walked normally most of the time. I even used the same excuse the real Screwball gave earlier at the beginning of her live, before she fell into my ambush. That I can’t let anyone guess where the gathering is taking place. Gotta keep a little mystery to build up the suspense…

My imitation of Screwball’s voice and mannerisms fooled the watchers. My talent at impersonation is not even a superpower. Just the result of lots of theater classes. (I was in art school. Maybe that explains why I have a hard time finding a steady job? Sorry to art students everywhere! My case won’t give you a good reputation...)

There were a few questions about why the signal was lost for fifteen minutes, or about the supposed challenge which allowed me to ambush Screwball in the first place, but I easily brushed them all off by promising an exciting live-recording of an assembling Legion of Doom. Then I told a few jokes, and I had the crowd in my pocket.

No, I swear I’m not enjoying it! I’m just keeping my cover! They would have become suspicious if ‘Screwvball’ hadn’t attempted to resume her stream after a system crash. Call me a perfectionist.

Still, I admit there’s something thrilling about the fact I literally took Screwball’s place right under the nose of thousands of people, with nobody the wiser.

The baddies’ gathering is taking place in an abandoned warehouse complex next to the river. Formerly part of a shipping company which was bankrupted by the Kingpin, the area has been bought by the same Kingpin, at least according to the rumor I recently came across. Its remote location and vast surface makes it a perfect place for villains to conduct their shady business in peace – in return for a little fee paid to the Kingpin’s organization.

I admit I don’t feel serene as I’m getting closer to my destination. There’s always this fear the plan will fail. I almost have the impression someone is following me, but whenever I check I see nothing. Must be the nerves…

However, I’m disciplined enough to not show my apprehension.

When I arrive in the compound, jumping from a roof onto a dumpster and then onto the ground, the night is starting to fall. For some reason, the bad guys wanted to meet at dusk.

Gotta love their sense of spectacle...

I notice there’s a reception committee. A squad of goons are watching the area.

I groan internally when I notice their tacky costumes inspired by the work of Lewis Carroll.

Good Lord… I can see where this is going… Not HER...

At the center of the group, there is a familiar woman. She has blue eyes, a white skin, and her midback-long hair are dyed white. Her face is covered with white make-up. She’s wearing a green flannel button up shirt and a big red bowtie, as well as a white leotard with a bunny tail and white boots, fully displaying her well-toned legs. On her head, there are fake bunny ears.

I recognize the infamous Lorina Dodson, better known as the White Rabbit. One of the most ridiculous members of Spider-Man’s rogue gallery. And that’s saying a lot, given the competition!

White Rabbit... Seriously? They asked White Rabbit and her gang to be the security detail?!

Though on the other hand, I understand the idea. All the important villains want to be part of the reunion. So they chose a lame one to stay outside and play the part of the bouncer.

I embrace my Screwball persona, and walk confidently in front of the Alice in Wonderland-themed gang.

“Don’t fret, your favorite daredevil criminal has arrived! No autograph, please!”

White Rabbit glares at me with undisguised annoyance, and snaps her fingers.

Two goons – dressed like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum appropriately – block my path.

“What? I’m on the list!” I exclaim. (I’m sure the watchers are loving the joke.)

“Your recording camera isn’t, my dear attention-craving peon.” White Rabbit retorts.

She’s affecting some foppish British noblewoman accent, with the mannerisms to match. Probably a way to remind me she used to be a billionaire’s wife – and still possesses a lot of her dead husband’s money. (I suspect she uses most of it to pay her minions handsomely. If I was a street thug, I’d ask A LOT of cash to agree to dress like the rejected mascot of an Alice in Wonderland theme park.)

One henchman pulls out a phone. (Poor guy wears a Cheshire Cat costume. I sympathize with his pain.) He’s watching the live right now.

“Hey! I didn’t show the path to the gathering.” I retort.

“Good to see you simpleton still have at least two functioning brain cells.”

“Rich talk from a furry bait. I can’t believe they asked you to play the part of the security detail! Are they THAT desperate to save money?” (I glance at the phone the henchman is holding. The watchers are going wild. They start spamming ‘Cat Fight!’ in the comment section.) I look at all the armed goons assembled. “How did you even get so many minions? Did you marry and murder an other rich old fart?”

Normally, I wouldn’t provoke a criminal in such a frontal way. White Rabbit maybe has a silly gimmick, but she remains a criminal, and the machine guns her goons hold are the real deal. However, I still have to play the part of Screwball, the narcissist attention-junkie. Plus, I know that until the gathering is over, every villain has agreed to respect a truce.

Indeed, White Rabbit simply makes a shooing gesture of the hand. “My dear fashion-sense-deprived friend, I got my gang by being an ACTUAL gang leader. Instead of a D-list Internet celebrity! Now, away with you!” she growls. However, right afterwards, a smile blossoms on her face. “But before that...” She grabs the small recording camera embedded onto the helmet, and rips it off. The signal is instantly lost, and so is the recording. “The stream is off.”

“Hey! Not cool! This was my best live ever!”

“You’re going to make me cry…” Her minions raise their machine guns. “Now, I suggest you leave.”

She’s having a lot of fun manhandling me. Clearly, she has some feud with the real Screwball. I decide to not take any chance, even with the official truce, and quickly walk away.

Since I know the woman I impersonate would never accept to leave the last word to a rival, I shout right before I turn around a corner: “AT LEAST I DIDN’T TEAM UP WITH THE WALRUS TO TRY AND TAKE OUT FROG-MAN!”

(And by the way, yes, it really happened.)

Then I swiftly hightail.

**************

I swallow my anger, and pretend to leave the area. I’ve lost my ticket to enter the baddies’ reunion! Curse my attention to detail! Did I have to keep recording? Did I have to impersonate Screwball so faithfully?! Stupid MJ! Stupid!

At least, thanks to White Rabbit, I don’t need to keep up the appearances anymore… The camera is gone, and the stream has been canceled.

I refuse to give up now. If I want to get inside the building, I’ll just need to find an other way...

I think back about White Rabbit and her ‘security detail’.

To be honest, when it comes to Alice in Wonderland-themed villains, I much prefer the Mad Hatter. (Hopefully I didn’t create a breach in the Multiverse by saying that...)

However, you know the good thing about White Rabbit? Her goons all wear stupid masks, and she herself uses makeup to cover her face. Plus, since she dyes her hair white and likes to wear… revealing leotards, most people don’t look much at her face anyway. For someone like me, it’s like casting pearls before swine… Not that I’m complaining of course!

The warehouse complex is vast, and White Rabbit hired many extra hands for her gang. I suppose there are a few lone sentries patrolling the area’s remote parts…

**************

It takes me some time.

Long enough to learn to hate Screwball’s favorite colors, actually. In hindsight, sneaking up while wearing the white-and-fuchsia outfit of an attention junkie isn’t my best idea. However, I left my civilian clothes with the real Screwball in the warehouse, and I don’t want to strut around in my skivvies.

However, I finally discover a suitable candidate.

The lone sentry is watching the edge of the warehouse complex, near the docks, in case a hero would try to infiltrate the area from the river. I observe her, hidden behind the corner of a nearby warehouse. I notice a tool shed not too far away.

The set-up is too perfect… It would be a shame to not take advantage of the situation...

The specific henchwoman in my line of sight is wearing an ‘Alice’ costume: a proper blue dress with white short sleeves, a white apron, white long socks that go up to the thighs, and black shoes. And of course, a face-covering ‘Alice’ mask with a black head bow and blond hair. A creepy mask, if you ask me, with wide empty eyes.

Now, the good thing with this stupid mask is that it hinders the goonette’s peripheral vision. So she doesn’t notice me.

This costume may look familiar to some of you, if you follow the adventures of an alternate Spider-Man. More precisely, an Amazing Spider-Man. (Issue 605. For more details, please refer to the article on the USB. viewtopic.php?f=50&t=3418&p=5966&hilit=spiderman#p5966 You’re welcome^^!)

Poor ‘Alice’... (By the way, I checked her police file. She’s named Patricia.) Looks like that, no matter the universe, she’s bound to get her butt kicked by a dashing heroine…

No knock-out gas to keep her out of commission in my universe though. Today, things are going to be a little more “old-fashioned”. And by that I mean I’ll truss her up as if I was a cowgirl in some rodeo. That tool shed seems like a good place to start...

I grab my lucky coin, and throw it onto the ground, near the tool shed. The grunt immediately turns her head, distracted by the noise. She goes to investigate.

Too easy…

I run behind my target.

Once again, my trusty ‘Night Stick’ makes a baddie take a little nap. One hit, and the henchwoman falls onto the ground with a grunt, lying face down. Down for the count.

For ‘Alice’ (sorry, ‘Patricia’), it’s curtains now. The afterparty will most likely take place in a police cell.

The tool shed’s door isn’t locked. I pick up the discarded machine gun and wrap it’s strap around my shoulder, then I grab the woman by the legs, and drag her out of sight, inside the tool shed.

Ah, tool sheds… A snoop’s best friend… Not to the level of maintenance closets or restrooms, but close...

First things first, I take off the ‘Alice’ mask. Patricia is a raven-haired dark-brown-eyed young woman with an ivory-white skin. She’s of average size, so her clothes should fit me. Black lipstick is applied on her lips, and she has black eyelashes. There are several piercings and rings on her ears. Her loose hair are shoulder-long, with pointy edges. Her nails are painted black.

Strange a goth girl would have a fascination for Alice in Wonderland. Then again, I’m not familiar with goth culture, so… Maybe she liked Tim Burton’s version? I always thought this movie would have dire consequences…

No time to waste with existential questions! I lift the henchwoman’s right leg, take off the shoe, and slip off the long sock down her leg. Then I do the same with the left leg. Next, I unlace and take off the apron. Finally, I roll the henchwoman onto her stomach, and pull off the dress.

The goth girl wears undergarments befitting her look. Black cheeky panties with a white skull on the front, and a black t-shirt bra with a pattern of blood red skulls. I briefly wonder why she didn’t bother putting on at least a tank top and shorts; but then decides it’s her problem.

The shed actually still contains tools I can use to restrain the henchwoman. Nobody ever bothered to pick up the spare cables and rolls of package tape after the owners of the compound went bankrupt. I’m not complaining! I decide to use them, to save the content of my backpack. I grab a couple of cables in a shelf, and thoroughly restrain the henchwoman’s limbs. I bind her wrists behind her back, I wrap cables around her calves and thighs, then I immobilize her shoulders. I use package tape to silence her, wrapping a hefty number of layers around her lower face. I wrap some more tape around her wrists and ankles, because why not?

For the final touch, I grab a syringe filled with sedative drug in my backpack, and give the henchwoman a little injection. Like Screwball, she’s going to take a nap now.

I leave the trussed up goth girl seated in a corner of the shed, concealed behind the shelves, with her left side resting against the wall. I throw a tarpaulin on her to conceal her unconscious body.

Then I strip off my current outfit, hide it under some shelves, and put on the ‘Alice’ costume. First, the dress and the apron. I conceal my Night Stick and canister of knock-out gas in the apron’s front pocket. Then the socks and the shoes.

Good bye, Screwball’s costume. I’ve found less annoying clothes. I gloat to myself as I’m slipping into the long socks.

**************

It doesn’t take me long to eat my words, and actually regret Screwball’s outfit.

I’ve never stolen a worst villainous costume than this ‘Alice’ dress. Not only is it too hot, which at least explains why the previous owner was only wearing her underwear underneath, but it also itches. And the ‘Alice’ mask covering my face reeks of cheap old plastic.

Why do people even work for White Rabbit? Either these crooks have very low self-esteem, or the pay is just that good…

At least, it’s easier to pretend being an anonymous henchwoman than to impersonate Screwball. I just need to look quiet, intimidating, and dumb. The ‘Alice’ mask helps a lot in all three departments.

I’m careful to not approach too quickly the main warehouse, the one in which the gathering is taking place. It may arise suspicion. I notice from afar a few costumed villains who are arriving. Hypno Hustler, Big Wheel, and the Walrus. Hopefully the big shots are already here… If not, I’ll have done all this work to spy on the Losers’ club.

I also come across several sentries, but none comment on my presence. They are too busy trying their best to look quiet, intimidating, and dumb. Most are also bored out of their mind, and I understand them. A Legion of Doom is maybe being assembled right as we speak, and they can’t even enjoy the show of all these dysfunctional narcissists trying to get along. They have to stay outside.

I pass by my fifth sentry, who like the others barely takes a glance at me. However, I can’t shake off the feeling something is off. I observe the roofs, but see nothing. Then I glance once more at the sentry.

This henchwoman’s outfit is a costume referencing the Queen of Hearts. A scarlet red dress with some black strips, and white short sleeves and a white collar. The robe is adorned with a pattern of black hearts. She’s also wearing black shoes and scarlet red long socks. Her mask is just as creepy as the ‘Alice’ one, with its big round wide eyes. The only difference is that the hair are black, and there’s a yellow crown.

Shoot… I wish I stole that one’s outfit… At least, scarlet red looks cooler.

I turn around a small warehouse. The sentry disappears from my line of sight.

To be perfectly honest, during a few seconds, I contemplate going back and knocking out this henchwoman to take her outfit. I briefly take a peak from the corner of the small warehouse.

However, before I can make a decision, something unexpected happens.

It’s almost too quick for me to process.

Suddenly, a string of web is shot from the small alleyway in-between two warehouses, and sticks to the henchwoman’s shoulder.

“Wha-?!” the latter exclaims – though it’s muffled by her mask.

‘Queen of Hearts’ is pulled into the alleyway, out of my sight. I hear one punch, one groan, and the dull sound of one limp body collapsing onto the ground.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

I carefully approach the alleyway. I keep in mind that I’m dressed like a White Rabbit goonette. If Spider-Gwen or Spider-Man (or whoever this Spider-Person is) sees me too soon, they’ll web me up before I even have the time to introduce myself.

(Yes. It already happened. And it was as embarrassing as you’d imagine.)

I take a peak inside the alleyway.

‘Queen of Hearts’ is lying on her back, off to slumberland.

A woman is busy dragging her behind some rusty dumpster to have some privacy.

She’s wearing a feminine version of the Spider-Man costume – black from the feet to the breasts and white above. Her mask is white, with pink border around the eyes. There’s also a white hood.

“Gwen?” I say to catch her attention.

Gwen Stacy aka Ghost Spider aka Spider-Gwen for her friends immediately turns and shoots some web.

Fortunately for me, I was expecting it. (Did I mention it already happened before? Because it DID!)

Therefore, I jump to the left just in time, and I manage to dodge the web. Thankfully! If not, I’d have ended up webbed up from shoulders to ankles in less time than it takes to say ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’...

“Don’t shoot! It’s me! MJ!” I try to say.

Curse that stupid mask which muffles my voice!

Fortunately, it’s enough to convince Gwen to give me the time to take off my mask.

“MJ?” She pulls up her own mask as she speaks, revealing her white skin, blue eyes, and shoulder-long light blond hair. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?” I retort, pointing at my stolen outfit.

“Sorry. Stupid question.”

I glance over the blonde’s shoulder.

Gwen has already removed Queen of Hearts’ mask, revealing the face of a light-skinned slim young woman with auburn hair, a crooked nose, and a pointy chin. The left half of her hair is shaved short, while the right half is straight and chin-long with side swept bangs. There is a silver piercing in her left nostril, and three rings in her left ear.

I know this one’s name too. An other petty criminal. Ironically, this one is truly called Alice. Why she’s not the one who received the ‘Alice’ costume, I don’t understand...

It’s clear the superheroine has started to take off the henchwoman’s outfit.

“Are you stealing my shtick?” I immediately ask Gwen.

“You don’t have a monopoly on stealing baddies’ clothes.”

The blond superheroine turns, and starts to pull off Queen of Hearts’ black shoes and red long socks.

I admit I’m a bit miffed. I thought I was the only one aware of this bad guys gathering. And now I learn ‘Miss Perfect’ Gwen Stacy with her fancy spider powers and flawless hair is also onto the case.

“Why can’t you simply go through the roof?” I ask.

Gwen answers without stopping to strip the henchwoman. She trusts me to watch her back, now that I’m here. (And of course she’s right. I may find her annoying at times, and I’m SO jealous of how soft her hair are, but we’re still on the same side.)

“All the windows are mined.” the blonde explains, while she’s moving Queen of Hearts’ body to pull off her dress.

“Sick.”

Gwen lifts the henchwoman’s body, and slips off her red dress.

We thus discover the auburn-haired minion has a slim shapely body, and is wearing only her underwear under the costume: striped green-and-white boxer undershorts, and a forest green tank top adorned with one black stylized tree at the center, with no bra underneath.

“Her dress looks as uncomfortably hot as mine…” I can’t help but smile a little. At least I know I’m not the only one suffering!

Gwen checks the sentry’s brown-green eyes, to see if the criminal is deeply unconscious. Once she’s satisfied, she shoots some web over the auburn-haired henchwoman’s mouth to gag her. Then she webs the sentry’s legs together. Finally, she immobilizes her upper-body and then her arms behind her back with a cocoon of web.

When she’s done, she notices I’m glaring.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re making that little pout. The one you do when you’re annoyed at something.”

“I didn’t say anything!” I then mumble to myself. “I just think one doesn’t need fancy web-shooters to truss up a henchwoman...”

Gwen rolls her eyes, as she’s lifting the webbed henchwoman up onto her shoulder. “Not this conversation again…”

“Yes, this conversation again!”

“I already said I am sorry I webbed you to the wall! And, in my defense, you were dressed as a Hydra agent. How was I supposed to know it was you?”

As she’s talking, Gwen dumps the unconscious woman into the rusty dumpster. (Thankfully for Queen of Hearts, the thing hasn’t been used for months and is empty.) She leaves the lid slightly open, and sticks a Spider-beacon on it. Later, most likely when the area is safe for ‘normal cops’, the thing would emit a signal to warn the police they could come here and pick up the trash.

Gwen drops her Spider-outfit, and slips into the ‘Queen of Hearts’ costume. She doesn’t care I see her in her white boyshorts and sports bra.

I’m mumbling under my breath. Even when mugging a henchwoman or slipping into a bad girl’s costume, she moves more gracefully than me...

The blonde glances at me. “So, you want to sulk? Or you want to continue this infiltration?”

The question is purely rhetoric. She knows it. I know it. She knows I know it. And I know she knows I know it. And- Well, you get the picture.

“Let’s do this thing in duet.” I finally say.

Gwen smiles, and puts on the ‘Queen of Hearts’ mask. “Let’s rock!”

I know we sound cheesy, and yet I can’t help but love the sound of the catchphrase. I put on the ‘Alice’ mask.

**************

With our new disguises, Gwen and I pretend to be henchwomen on patrol: We walk slowly, wave our machine guns as if they make us queens of the world; and (most importantly) we try our hardest to look quiet, intimidating, and dumb.

“With these outfits we could enter the warehouse, but I don’t think we’ll be allowed to get close to the actual reunion…” Gwen is explaining.

“So these costumes are both uncomfortable AND useless?” I complain. “I wish I could have kept Screwball’s identity…”

“So it was you all along? I saw you arrive. I was surprised Screwball was late. That explains everything...”

“Yep. I set up a trap, and she fell for it like a newbie. Conked her and took her costume. Too bad White Rabbit had to spoil all this hard work. Staying as Screwball would have made my job easier…”

“Perhaps not.” Even with the mask, I hear Gwen sounds a little embarrassed.

“You’re telling me-” I start to say.

“Screwball was my first pick.” When she sees I stay silent, she adds: “I can’t help it if her outfit just screams: ‘Hey, my costume hides my hair and eyes! Just mug me to easily steal my identity!’”

“So you were stalking me.”

“I was about to catch and pull you with my webs when White Rabbit came and announced you weren’t allowed in the warehouse.” she confesses.

“Maybe I dodged a bullet…” I comment to myself. “Can we please change the embarrassing subject? Do you have an idea on how we can get closer to the main baddies? I wish this infiltration to be worth it. I don’t want to just learn a couple of useless intel because I was only allowed to watch from afar...”

“Not all the guests are here yet.” Gwen comments.

“You suggest we waylay a couple of obscure villainesses?”

“Are you getting cold feet?” (I obviously can’t see Gwen’s face, but her smile is so big I can hear it in her voice.) “You’re the one who started it with Screwball.”

She’s teasing me. She knows I love her idea. And I know she knows I know- I’m not making that joke again.

I take up the challenge. “Of course I’m all for it.”

“Then follow me. I have a plan in motion. Stealing a sentry’s costume was only the first step.”

That’s Earth-USB Gwen Stacy in a nutshell... If she doesn’t have two plans in motion at the same time, then she’s not having a good day...

**************

In a remote area of the warehouse complex, there is an elevated helicopter platform.

Two henchwomen are watching said platform when we arrive.

One is wearing a ‘White Queen’ dress and mask, and the other one a ‘Red Queen’ costume. (I always thought White Rabbit’s fondness for Lewis Carroll was a cheap gimmick, but apparently she has taken the time to read Through the Looking-Glass as well. Who knew?)

My ‘Night Stick’ and Gwen’s ‘Spider Punch’TM convince the two queens to take a rest.

We take off the henchwomen’s masks. ‘White Queen’ has coarse black hair braided into shoulder-long cornrows, a black skin, a round-shaped face, a curvy body, and dark brown eyes. ‘Red Queen’ has honey blond hair, a square haircut, a white skin, a square chin, a stocky body, and icy blue eyes.

However, Gwen shoots down my suggestion to strip the unconscious sentries of their outer clothes, and to turn said costumes into makeshift ropes and gags. (Sorry everyone. She claims we don’t have the time. Gwen can be a bit of a killjoy sometimes.)

Gwen covers each woman’s mouth with web to silence her. Then she wraps several layers of web around both their bodies to bind them back to back. The henchwomen end up trapped in a cocoon of white web from the shoulders to the feet. We drag them under the helicopter platform to conceal them.

With the two minions out of the way, we take their place, and pretend to guard the area.

Of course, there is a purpose behind our action. We’re not brutalizing two poor sentries just for the pleasure of it! What are you thinking?

“You sure Janice will land here?” I ask my partner.

(You don’t know who Janice Lincoln aka Beetle IV aka Lady Beetle is? I don’t blame you. Fortunately, the Internet is here for you.)

“The organizers of the gathering have chosen one select area in which flying guests can land.” Gwen explains. “Many superheroes can fly. It means the sky is watched by dozens of drones and Alice-in-Wonderland-themed goons, with instructions to shoot on sight anyone foolish enough to stray from the unauthorized airspace. Why do you think I didn’t jump everywhere with my webs?”

“And how can you be so sure Beetle-Brain isn’t already at the party? The main event is almost beginning.”

“She was my plan B, in case Screwball was unavailable. So I asked Miles to delay her. Just long enough for her to think she’s lost him, and that going to the gathering is still worth it. Trust me. I know Janice. She became a supervillain out of desire to be the best supervillain. She wouldn’t want to miss being part of a Legion of Doom.” Gwen points at the dress she’s currently wearing. “The henchwoman’s outfit was just a means to an end. A way to be sure I could access the landing area without arising suspicions. I just needed to time everything with Miles. He sent me a message. She’s on her way here. She should be the only flying supervillain left. Nobody will disturb us.”

So Miles Morales is also onto it… “Sounds like you thought of a big ingenious plan…” I lightly comment to hide that I’m starting to feel inadequate. Compared to Gwen’s, my plan sounds a lot more amateurish and small-scale.

“Being full-time part of a team has its advantages, MJ.” Gwen comments, this time fully serious.

The offer is clear, but I stay silent the time to find a way to dodge the topic. “Pass. I prefer to keep my wild card persona.” I joke. “It makes me a better crowd-pleaser.”

Gwen doesn’t insist. I think she understands why some people don’t want to be the ‘normal human’ in a team of supers. Even when they’re your friendly neighborhood Spider-People. Especially when they’re your friendly neighborhood Spider-People. Because you can’t be jealous of them without feeling ashamed with yourself… I much prefer the long-distance relationship.

Thankfully, a lady beetle lands on the helicopter platform, and saves us from this awkward conversation. (One sentence I never thought I’d say one day.)

Janice Lincoln, aka the Beetle (the fourth Beetle or Lady Beetle if you want to be technical) has arrived.

She’s wearing a powered armor which completely covers her body – including the head. Said costume looks like a black full-body suit and balaclava made of leather. Purple soft boots cover her legs from the feet to the mid-thighs. A purple armor protects her torso. Said armor contains artificial wings to allow her to fly. She’s also wearing purple long gloves, and a purple eye mask. (I wonder what’s the use of the latter. Her head is already fully concealed. Maybe she thinks it gives her more swag.)

Regardless of her fashion sense, I have to be wary of Lady Beetle. Her armor doesn’t only give her the ability to fly. It contains a variety of weapon systems, gives her superhuman strength and durability, and allows her to stick to walls. There are even energy weapons in her gloves. The good news is that, underneath, she’s just a normal human with no powers. Of course, the problem is to actually get her out of her armor.

Lady Beetle looks at us, and mistakes us for members of White Rabbit’s gang.

“Damn Morales almost made me miss my appointment!” she complains. “But I see a committee has been sent to welcome me. Good. Lead the way, girls. I’m sure they’re all eagerly awaiting me!”

They’ve probably finished the appetizers without even noticing she was late, but I keep my mouth shut. If Janice decides to make things easier for us, I’m not complaining.

Gwen wanted to lure her into a more secluded place, because if the element of surprise didn’t work and a fight broke out, she’d prefer to do it in an area more concealed than a helicopter platform. Now we don’t even have to come up with an excuse to ask her to follow us.

**************

During the walk, Janice monopolizes the conversation. “It’s always good to know you’re in demand, don’t you think? I mean, of course they couldn’t assemble a team without considering me! To think my father thought staying a mob lawyer was the better choice… Courts and trials could never have brought me the same thrills!”

Hearing a villainess brag and monologue is always tedious, but Gwen and I nod at everything she says. Henchpeople’s number 1 rule. Always agree with the masked villains.

Plus, we won’t have to suffer it for long...

We lead Lady Beetle near the tool shed in which the unlucky Patricia is already concealed.

“You two sure are making a detour.” Janice suddenly comments.

She’s walking more slowly. She’s starting to become suspicious. It’s now or never.

I grab the small canister of knock-out gas I’m keeping hidden in my costume’s apron.

Mentally, I pray Lady Beetle’s full-body armor doesn’t contain a filtering mask.

Without any warning, I turn, and sprays gas right under her nose.

The wannabee top-supervillainess coughs and takes a step back, which is a good sign.

“What?!”

At the same time, before she can activate her powered armor, Gwen jumps her from behind. She wraps one arm around Beetle’s throat, uses her other arm to lock the choke-hold, and wraps her legs around Lady Beetle’s arms to pin them against her sides. She’s careful to make the woman’s gloved palms aim at the ground.

“Gark?!” Lady Beetle groans.

Much like all the Spider-People, Gwen’s strength has been enhanced by the irradiated spider’s bite. Enough to withstand the strength of the Beetle powered armor – at least from that advantageous position.

Lady Beetle is struggling. The wings of her suit are designed to mimic bugs’ thin quick-paced wings, and therefore aren’t sturdy enough to dislodge Gwen. She’s desperately trying to free her arms, so that she can aim her gloves at us and shoot us with their concealed weapons. While the sleeping gas seems to be affecting her, I suspect her mask is indeed attenuating its effects.

I refuse to take any chance. I don’t know how long Gwen can hold her, or if she can properly choke her. I keep spraying knock-out gas at the costumed villainess. It makes her cough more, and disrupts her sight at least.

The combination of my sleeping gas and Gwen’s choke-hold ultimately get the better of the masked villainess. I hear her let out a moan of defeat, and her body goes limp. She falls face up onto the ground with a thud, and with Gwen on her back still wrapped around her body just in case.

When we’re sure Lady Beetle is truly taking a nap, I inhale deeply to catch my breath.

“Phew… What a rush… Baddies like her are out my league, usually…”

“Welcome in my world.” Gwen turns the limp villainess on her back, and grabs her under the shoulders. “A little help please? Her armor’s actually heavier than it looks.”

I grab Janice Lincoln’s legs.

We carry her inside the shed.

I’m satisfied to see the tarpaulin-covered Patricia hasn’t moved. The bound-and-gagged henchwoman is still napping in her corner. Good. We won’t be disturbed.

Gwen and I drop our burden onto the floor. Janice moans slightly and moves a little, but doesn’t wake up.

“I bet she’ll be very sour she was beaten by a normie with a knock-out spray.” I joke. At the same time, I take off the Alice mask to get some fresh air.

“Don’t forget I helped.” Gwen also removes the Queen of Hearts mask.

“Bah. The choke-hold was purely psychological warfare.” I casually say, in all bad faith.

My partner rolls her eyes. “Of course…”

Gwen must have studied the Beetle powered armor, because she knows how to easily remove it. While I slip off the soft boots and long gloves, she unfastens and takes off the purple torso armor. Then, she somehow manages to unzip the full-body-covering body-hugging jumpsuit, and peels it off.

Janice Lincoln has short chin-long dark brown hair with pointy edges and bangs, and orange brown eyes. She has a slim body with well-toned legs. Clearly, wearing her armor allows her to get some exercise. Her skin is tanned. From what I heard, she’s the daughter of the albino criminal Tombstone and a Latina woman.

Under her armor, Janice is only wearing her underwear. Her Brazilian panties are black with a purple waistband strap. Her push-up bra is a matching purple, with black borders and black shoulder straps. Lace light purple butterflies are adorning the top edges of the cups. One butterfly made of purple fabric is also used as a bow at the top of her panties. (I understand why she doesn’t have beetles. If I had a date, I too wouldn’t want my partner to see me in beetle-themed underwear.) Janice also has deep purple socks.

“Do all supervillains have matching color-coded underwear?” I ask out loud.

“No. Some of them wear no undies at all.” Gwen chuckles. “Have you ever heard of Joystick?”

“Not much. Why?”

“Let’s just say her life has never been the same since that fateful day she decided to go commando under her costume… and was unlucky to be mugged for disguise.”

Gwen glances at the discarded powered armor.

“I’ll wear the clothes.” she adds.

“Why not me? Let’s play rock-paper-scissors for it.”

“You know how to use this armor?”

“Erm…”

“I studied its schematics. So I know I won’t drill a hole in a wall by accident.”

“Fine. You won. But in exchange, I get to bind her my way.”

“Suit yourself.”

I search my backpack, which I had left in the tool shed after I had disguised myself with Patricia’s clothes.

With Lady Beetle, I decide to be quick and efficient. Janice looks athletic thanks to all her time spent in armor, so I select strong zip-ties to restrain her limbs. I tie her wrists behind her back. Then I bind her ankles together, her calves together, her knees together, and her thighs together. I wrap and tie a coil of rope around her shoulders and upper-arms. Finally, I gag her with a piece of cloth shoved into the mouth, and a few layers of tape wrapped around the lower face.

By the time I’m done, Gwen has put on most of the armor: the body-hugging jumpsuit, the boots, the torso armor, and the gloves. She only needs to close the head part of the jumpsuit and put on the mask for the disguise to be complete.

Patricia’s corner is already full. Therefore, we locate a broom closet big enough to hold an adult woman’s body. Soon enough, Lady Beetle is keeping company to the brooms, buckets, and mops. Gwen closes the door to conceal her.

“Right on schedule.” she comments to herself.

“And what about me? Don’t I get to go?”

“I can lure someone here. In fact, I have a plan-”

Gwen interrupts herself when she hears the shed’s door opening.

Somebody has seen the light inside the tool shed, and has come to investigate. Gwen and I quickly check nobody can see Patricia or Lady Beetle. Thankfully, the goth girl is still concealed behind a shelf and under a tarpaulin, and nobody could guess the broom closet now contains a bound-and-gagged half-naked criminal.

Gwen and I hurriedly put on our respective masks to conceal our faces.

“Who’s there?” a voice with a grating fake-British accent asks.

White Rabbit enters the shed. She’s alone.

“Scrap that thought. I don’t even need to set up a trap.” I hear Gwen whisper.

“I knew I heard some noise. You’re late, Lady Beetle. They’ve started without you.”

White Rabbit glances at me (whom she mistakes for a henchwoman of hers), then at Gwen (whom she mistakes for Lady Beetle). She looks suspicious.

“Why are you here alone with my henchwoman?” she asks.

Her voice is dripping with innuendos. Is she imagining we were having a romantic meeting?

“Alice. Where is Queen of Hearts?” White Rabbit asks me.

“The real Alice, you mean?” I reflexively ask back.

White Rabbit glares daggers at me, and briefly breaks character. (It’s strange to hear her talk without her foppish accent.) “Patricia. I think I pay you well enough for you to use the code names.”

“AHA! I knew it!” I blurt out.

Then I realize my goof.

White Rabbit grits her teeth. She’s starting to understand everything. “What did you say?” she growls.

“I said- uh- uhm- PUNCH IN THE FACE!”

And indeed, I punch her in the face.

White Rabbit yelps, and falls on her butt.

I let out a mighty war cry, and immediately jump her.

I wish I could say it was an impressive battle. After all, both I and Lorina have some training in martial arts. However, between I who’s entangled in my Alice dress and her who’s still dazed by my sucker punch, our battle looks more like a playground fight.

At least I quickly come out on top. One punch to the temple knocks out Lorina. She groans, and goes still.

Gwen unzips the head part of her jumpsuit, and glances at the defeated unconscious criminal, lying spread eagle on the floor.

“Now you have your disguise to go with me.” she dryly comments. “Lorina’s responsible of the security. She’s allowed to go inside and chat with the big wigs.”

She goes to rummage in the discarded Queen of Hearts costume she had taken off.

I move away from the limp criminal. “Sure… Give me the clothes of the furry bait… Who’s it gonna be next time? Panda-Mania?”

I search Lorina’s clothes, trying to see if she’s carrying make-up. Given how skimpy they are, it doesn’t take me long.

“She doesn’t have hair dye or make-up on her.” I pass a hand through my pixie cut. “And even if she did have dye, my hair are too short.”

Gwen pretends to cough. She’s holding a small pot of white make-up, and a wig of white hair.

“Oh come on!” I complain. “How long have you been carrying these? And where did you hide them?”

“I had a third contingency plan… In case Lady Beetle wasn’t available…” Gwen explains, almost sounding a bit sheepish. “And I was hiding them under my costume…”

“If it was in your cleavage, I swear to God-”

“- in a pouch.” she interrupts me. “Now, if it bothers you too much, you can still wait for me outside.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I have a score to settle with the bunny anyway. That’ll teach her from ruining my original plan.”

I take a knee, and start unbuttoning White Rabbit’s green flannel shirt.

“I just wish she was awake to hear you say she was your third choice… It suits her.”

I untie and take off the red bow tie, then pull off the unbuttoned flannel shirt. I take off the fake bunny ears. I unstrap and slip off the boots. Finally, I peel off the bunnygirl leotard and take it off.

As undergarments, White Rabbit is wearing white ankle socks, a black thong adorned with translucent black lace, and a matching lacy demi-bra.

Naughty bunny…

When Gwen takes a step forward to web her, I raise a hand to stop her.

“No. I said I have a score to settle.”

And since we’re near the backpack in which all my tools are stored, I certainly won’t miss the opportunity.

I use my last rolls of ‘Screwball-themed’ tape, just to rub salt in the wound, since apparently Lorina can’t stand Screwball. I mummify White-Rabbit’s calves and thighs, as well as her upper-arms. I also tape her hands and wrists behind her back. Then I take a coil of rope, and I wrap said ropes around the criminal’s legs, shoulders, and wrists. Finally, I pull out a tacky bright red ballgag I bought once in a kinky shop, and I use it to silence White Rabbit.

Once the bunny is restrained, Gwen and I look around to see where we’ll conceal her.

“Janice will have some company.” my partner decides.

She slings the criminal over her shoulder, while I get dressed. Gwen carries, and stashes the underwear-clad Lorina in the broom closet with Lady Beetle. The two women’s bodies are resting against each other, with their cheek and breasts touching.

Gwen leaves a Spider-beacon inside, and closes the door.

I finish putting on the costume. I hate how it leaves my legs on full display. A leotard with a bunny tail… Urk...

Then I start applying the white make-up. I hate it even more than the costume, I think it makes me look like a clown. But at least it’s as useful as a mask or opaque sunglasses to conceal my identity. With the wig, the costume, and the bunny ears, the illusion is perfect.

Or at least it’ll be good enough to fool henchpeople wearing vision-impairing masks and supervillains who usually do their hardest to never associate themselves with the crazy silly White Rabbit...

I adjust my red bowtie, and start imitating Lorina’s foppish accent. “Now, Lady Beetle, allow me to escort you to the party in due form.”

Gwen zips the head part of the Beetle armour, and puts on the eye mask. “My pleasure.” She’s a lot less good than me at imitating voices, but since her armor’s mask alters her voice, it’s not a problem.

We leave the tool shed, and head towards the main warehouse. Next stop, the bad guys get-together.

Finally! This story can get started!

Or maybe not?

This one-shot is already long enough for now, and I’m not quite sure yet there’ll be more women knocked out and clothes stolen in this scenario. It’s probably best to pause it now.

Till next time!

[Daveyjonesagain]

Good one. Comic villains make the best USB scenarios for me because there's so much diversity to choose from. My only criticism is that white rabbit would probably not be wearing anything else under her outfit because underwear would be redundant for such a skimpy costume haha. Some future scenarios to consider: Serpent society, Femizons, and the Flashpoint-timeline amazons all have great potential

[rufusluciusivan]

Thank you for your comment!

My only criticism is that white rabbit would probably not be wearing anything else under her outfit because underwear would be redundant for such a skimpy costume haha.

It's actually a way to subtly highlight White Rabbit's utter lack of fashion sense, since she obviously doesn't know one doesn't wear undergarments under a leotard. Everything was planned for the beginning, I assure you. (Of course, the real reason is that since I'm not fond of full-frontal nudity, I rarely have the reflex to even think of including it in my stories. In that case, the idea a leotard can already be considered an undergarment didn't even cross my mind before you mentioned it.)

Some future scenarios to consider: Serpent society, Femizons, and the Flashpoint-timeline amazons all have great potential

I can't promise there'll be an other story, at the very least not in the near future. I don't have any idea yet for a plot. I'm taking notes though. It'll help me narrow down my research just in case.

[tirepanted3]

A very fun follow-up! And I'm not just saying that because I helped with the research.

The first-person narration continues to give the story a distinct flavor and identity. This Mary Jane is a likable heroine - I appreciate the detail of her expertise in disguise being explained by her background as an actress (something from the Mary Jane of the comics as well). And her relationship/rivalry with Gwen is quite entertaining. (Technically Gwen's superhero name is Spider-Woman, since she wouldn't want to use her real name while superheroing, but it makes sense that MJ would know her by her other name, since they seem to go back a ways.)

The muggings are fun and engaging, helped by the fact that there is visual reference for many of them, since they're derived from the main comics. The Alice in Wonderland theme is particularly good (and even extends to the narration - "Curiouser and Curiouser...").

White Rabbit turned out to be a great villain for disguise purposes, even if she uses makeup instead of a mask. Her costume in this story seems to be a mix from the traditional Marvel uniform and the one she wears in the non-canon Spidey series (https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88777 ... 29PWjc99Pw). Her haughty personality is well-realized, and it's nice to see her undone by the heroines.

The takedown of Beetle (I don't think Janice would care to be relegated to "Lady Beetle" ) was also fun, as was the bickering between MJ and Gwen over who gets to wear her costume. ("Let’s play rock-paper-scissors for it.")

As a comics fan, I enjoyed the references to Marvel lore:

I notice from afar a few costumed villains who are arriving. Hypno Hustler, Big Wheel, and the Walrus.

If I had to guess, you got these names by Googling "lamest Spider-Man villains"?

Just one note - Gwen and MJ refer to the villain gathering as a "Legion of Doom," but that's actually a DC organization. I don't think Marvel has a similar official wide-spanning team of villains (not to that level, anyway), though I suppose it's past time they attempted to make one.

[rufusluciusivan]

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. My only regret was that I knew it wouldn't feature any surprise for you, since our PMs were pretty clear about which villainesses were my most likely picks.

Mary-Jane's and Gwen's interactions were a ton of fun to write.

I couldn't resist adding more depths to the character of Mary-Jane while staying true to her characterization in the pilot story. The story hints that in this continuity she and Peter are not very close; and Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy and Miles Morales have spider powers and are active at the same time as a team. So MJ feels both inadequate and a bit envious when she compares her exploits to theirs. Although, since she's a good-natured person, it doesn't prevent her from being their friend and ally of circumstances; she simply prefers to remain a freelancer who occasionally joins forces. MJ's fondness for funny quips is a way to hide her insecurities.

I wanted to add a couple of henchwomen before "the main event" so to speak. I'm glad they also made an impression, even though they are extras. Alice in Wonderland is indeed a great theme for masked villains in comicbooks.

White Rabbit is a ton of fun. I came across two stories featuring her during my research, and both were hilarious. The first was the one in which she teams up with the Walrus. (When the Walrus is the voice of reason, you know there's a problem... ) And the other one is the one in which she kidnaps the (reformed) Grizzly and Gibbon (!), after hiring two out-of-work actors to play the parts of her accomplices because no true villain would work for her (not even the Big Wheel) (!!). She asks for a ransom of one billion dollars (for the Grizzly and the Gibbon...) (!!!), but the mayor's counter-offer is two dollars and fifty cents (!!!!), and Peter Parker intervenes incognito under the alias of Bag-Man (!!!!!). And when her henchmen try to flee, she's outraged because she paid them MORE THAN THE S.A.G. MINIMUM and that's the thanks she gets (!!!!!!). I know she's in everyone's list of lamest Spider-Man villains, but honestly that's actually the point. She's supposed to be lame.

And yes indeed, I combined two designs - the make-up, leotard and boots of her traditional design with the shirt, bowtie and white hair of the non-canon one. To be honest, I like a lot more her design with white hair. Too bad it's not the canon one!

Compared to White Rabbit and Screwball, Lady Beetle was a bit harder to write. Her canon personality is less colorful and less humorous, so she felt a little bland by comparison. Though I absolutely adore her design - both in and out of the costume.

Technically Gwen's superhero name is Spider-Woman, since she wouldn't want to use her real name while superheroing, but it makes sense that MJ would know her by her other name, since they seem to go back a ways.

I admit it's an oversight ---- I mean of course it was done on purpose to show MJ knows Gwen. Of course. Totally not an oversight. (nervous laugh) Though I thought Gwen's name was Ghost Spider? (And I swear I've heard Spider Gwen somewhere. Maybe in some French dubs?)

If I had to guess, you got these names by Googling "lamest Spider-Man villains"?

Not exactly, but close . It's thanks to a humoristic YouTube video - but it was indeed a countdown of the lamest Spider-Man Villains.

Just one note - Gwen and MJ refer to the villain gathering as a "Legion of Doom,"

They're referencing the trope actually. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ ... gionOfDoom

Though in the Sam Reimi movies, Aunt May mentions Superman, so I like to imagine the DC comics are actual comics in the Marvel universe. Maybe that's how she learns the name? (MJ references the Mad Hatter at one point, so I guess the universe is already imploding anyway... )

[rufusluciusivan]

Tirepanted, I'm posting the second part of my answer to you here. The first part is the post above. For some reason, any time I tried to post the full long message in one go, I receive an Internal Server Error message. I don't know if a moderator knows something about that.

I didn't think I'd have so much fun writing these two stories. Having ready-made characters, costumes, and situations that I can then simply modify is really a ton of fun. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll have the idea for a follow-up (or an other one-shot). The Spider-Man lore's fondness for clones even opens more possibilities. I recently came across a story in which the bad guy of the arc creates clones of Gwen Stacy mixed with DNA of the Sinister Six. So there's a Doc Ock-Gwen Stacy, a Sandman one, a Rhino, a Vulture and a Kraven. The series is called Spider-Gwen and the Shadow Clones. And I remember now that's where I got the nickname Spider-Gwen!



I just love the designs of Sandman-Gwen and Doc Ock-Gwen...

[tirepanted3]

White Rabbit is a ton of fun. I came across two stories featuring her during my research, and both were hilarious. The first was the one in which she teams up with the Walrus. (When the Walrus is the voice of reason, you know there's a problem... ) And the other one is the one in which she kidnaps the (reformed) Grizzly and Gibbon (!), after hiring two out-of-work actors to play the parts of her accomplices because no true villain would work for her (not even the Big Wheel) (!!). She asks for a ransom of one billion dollars (for the Grizzly and the Gibbon...) (!!!), but the mayor's counter-offer is two dollars and fifty cents (!!!!), and Peter Parker intervenes incognito under the alias of Bag-Man (!!!!!). And when her henchmen try to flee, she's outraged because she paid them MORE THAN THE S.A.G. MINIMUM and that's the thanks she gets (!!!!!!). I know she's in everyone's list of lamest Spider-Man villains, but honestly that's actually the point. She's supposed to be lame.

She's a goofy villain, no question, and she's never been one of Spider-Man's most intimidating villains, but that's part of the fun. I would say that there are plenty of lamer baddies in his rogues' gallery - White Rabbit is a bit more distinctive since she's one of the few prominent female Spidey villains. Always good for a throwaway joke, or a silly story (who could forget Bag-Man)?

Compared to White Rabbit and Screwball, Lady Beetle was a bit harder to write. Her canon personality is less colorful and less humorous, so she felt a little bland by comparison. Though I absolutely adore her design - both in and out of the costume.

Yes, Beetle is something of a colder character, although that does make her a more formidable villain than White Rabbit. I recall a comic story a few years ago where she forms an all-female team of villains (including White Rabbit) to take down Spider-Man. And her design is indeed great.

Though I thought Gwen's name was Ghost Spider? (And I swear I've heard Spider Gwen somewhere. Maybe in some French dubs?)

The original comics with Gwen as a spider-hero were called "Spider-Gwen," but in the series itself she is called Spider-Woman. Her name was eventually changed to Ghost Spider to avoid confusion with Jessica Drew, who is also Spider-Woman. Comics can be convoluted that way. (Although Marvel already has two heroes called Spider-Man, and no one seems too confused by that.)

And yes, I'm familiar with the "Legion of Doom" trope. Just pointing out that it originated in the DC universe.

[meditions142]

As a fan of sentry silencing uniform steals I have to say there were some fantastic scenes in this great story. And of course the uniforms were particularly fun as a change of pace.

I really like the scene with Patricia (a.k.a. Alice). As you say it is indeed the perfect set up. A lone sentry, right by a tool shed.

We then get the great "trick the guard with a noise" moment when Mary-Jane uses the coin to make Patricia go and investigate. Then Patricia is an easy target. Love the comment "Once again, my trusty ‘Night Stick’ makes a baddie take a little nap."

Then we even get the terrific using a sedative to make the already unconscious female sentry stay asleep.

The scene with the Queen of Hearts sentry is great too. I love how MJ is thinking about knocking her out and then sees her pulled out of sight followed by the sound of Gwen knocking her out.

Just such a fun story!

[rufusluciusivan]

tirepanted: Plus, on Tv Tropes I read that there have been four Spider-Women, and one is actually a villainess at some point. Talk about confusing!

meditions: The sentries indeed wear more colorful clothes than usual. We can thank supervillains' fashion sense (or lack thereof) for that.

Patricia's scene was indeed an archetypal one - down to the old 'coin' distraction. I liked the joke of Queen of Hearts being mugged right at the same time MJ contemplates mugging her. A bit of an easy gag, but I liked it.