Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by rufusluciusivan »

First things first, I wanted to welcom you, Arc. It's a pleasure to see new faces on this Board. There seems to be a renewed dynamism on the story section, and it's a real pleasure for an old geezer like me. :lol:

I like the idea of an experienced agent working with a rookie. It brings to my mind a duo like K and J from Men in Black, though I'm quite sure it's only me :lol: . It's a classic, but great setup. One that can bring many good interactions.

Same with the secret Organization. Am I the only one who thinks of the Men in Black? Though maybe it's because I watched this movie recently. In any way, I find the concept interesting - an organization which uses illegal tactics while trying to minimize the damage to innocent bystanders, but mostly for pragmatic reasons. I really like stories which explore the moral complexity of stealing uniforms. This has potential.

If I had a suggestion, it would be to write longer descriptions. I don't mind the big number of victims: A good variety of uniforms and nationalities/body types is always a plus. However, the big number can become detrimential if it means each woman only gets the minimum of description. Though if I can offer an advice, a good compromise would be to select a few scenes/victims (usually during key events of the story), and to give them a longer description/characterization, but to keep other scenes short to not ruin the pace - and to make the writing process less hard.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with it yet, there's no need to rush it. As someone who struggles a lot with English, I can assure you the more you write, the easier it'll be to add more details. ;)

A detail, but as someone who really enjoys to read about original/rare types of outfits, I really appreciated the idea to feature carnival disguises. It made me realize how rare this scenario is, even though a carnival makes for a perfect set-up!

To conclude, good luck for your next story!

Then, I'll apologize because it's off-topic, but I wanted to give my point of view about something:
Sometimes, I really feel that you people who like 'non lethal' are really hypocritical.
While of course I can't speak for all the people who like 'non lethal', personally it has NEVER been a way to pat myself in the back, and to tell myself I'm a good person - better than the ones who like lethal. It has always been because I, and I suppose many others, am simply not comfortable with the idea of death. It's a matter of taste, not moral. I don't find death glamorous, so I don't want it in my fantasies. The same way I rarely find full-frontal nudity appealing. It has never been a way to make a moral statement. It's just how I want my fantasies to be. Before I joined this Board, I was a fan of softcore bondage and the 'damsel in distress' trope - it's only after finding this Board I realized combining these with uniform stealing was even more appealing to me.

We're talking about fictional scenarios and fantasies here. The people featured in these stories don't exist. Sometimes, even the locations of their adventures are fictional. I'm not sure the comparison with real-life tragedies is relevant. Especially comparing fantasies on an online forum with real warfare and genocide. Same with the talk of human rights of the victims, since by definition none of the events happen to real persons - and I'm quite sure nobody here WANTS them to happen to real persons. As a writer (and as a reader if the story doesn't contradict here), I can choose that the victims are rescued and don't suffer lasting physical harm. I can even choose that they don't suffer psychological damage. That's the power of fiction.

My point is that: I'm looking for 'softcore' and light-hearted 'fun' bondage fantasies - and that's the kind of experience I propose when I write my own stories. It recquires suspension of disbelief: Yes, I ignore some aspects of reality for the sake of my fantasies, because I want things to remain light-hearted. If people don't like that, it's fine. It's fictional fantasies. I'm aware that in real life it would hurt people, that these actions aren't good. But on the stories on this Board, we're not in real life. So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story. If that comes across as hypocritical to you, I apologize because it's not the intent. My goal is simply to enjoy my fantasies, and let everyone else enjoy theirs. I would never post a comment under the work of someone who did lethal work to condemn them or to tell them they're beneath me.
pc305435632
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2018 8:18 am

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by pc305435632 »

rufusluciusivan wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:32 am First things first, I wanted to welcom you, Arc. It's a pleasure to see new faces on this Board. There seems to be a renewed dynamism on the story section, and it's a real pleasure for an old geezer like me. :lol:

I like the idea of an experienced agent working with a rookie. It brings to my mind a duo like K and J from Men in Black, though I'm quite sure it's only me :lol: . It's a classic, but great setup. One that can bring many good interactions.

Same with the secret Organization. Am I the only one who thinks of the Men in Black? Though maybe it's because I watched this movie recently. In any way, I find the concept interesting - an organization which uses illegal tactics while trying to minimize the damage to innocent bystanders, but mostly for pragmatic reasons. I really like stories which explore the moral complexity of stealing uniforms. This has potential.

If I had a suggestion, it would be to write longer descriptions. I don't mind the big number of victims: A good variety of uniforms and nationalities/body types is always a plus. However, the big number can become detrimential if it means each woman only gets the minimum of description. Though if I can offer an advice, a good compromise would be to select a few scenes/victims (usually during key events of the story), and to give them a longer description/characterization, but to keep other scenes short to not ruin the pace - and to make the writing process less hard.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with it yet, there's no need to rush it. As someone who struggles a lot with English, I can assure you the more you write, the easier it'll be to add more details. ;)

A detail, but as someone who really enjoys to read about original/rare types of outfits, I really appreciated the idea to feature carnival disguises. It made me realize how rare this scenario is, even though a carnival makes for a perfect set-up!

To conclude, good luck for your next story!

Then, I'll apologize because it's off-topic, but I wanted to give my point of view about something:
Sometimes, I really feel that you people who like 'non lethal' are really hypocritical.
While of course I can't speak for all the people who like 'non lethal', personally it has NEVER been a way to pat myself in the back, and to tell myself I'm a good person - better than the ones who like lethal. It has always been because I, and I suppose many others, am simply not comfortable with the idea of death. It's a matter of taste, not moral. I don't find death glamorous, so I don't want it in my fantasies. The same way I rarely find full-frontal nudity appealing. It has never been a way to make a moral statement. It's just how I want my fantasies to be. Before I joined this Board, I was a fan of softcore bondage and the 'damsel in distress' trope - it's only after finding this Board I realized combining these with uniform stealing was even more appealing to me.

We're talking about fictional scenarios and fantasies here. The people featured in these stories don't exist. Sometimes, even the locations of their adventures are fictional. I'm not sure the comparison with real-life tragedies is relevant. Especially comparing fantasies on an online forum with real warfare and genocide. Same with the talk of human rights of the victims, since by definition none of the events happen to real persons - and I'm quite sure nobody here WANTS them to happen to real persons. As a writer (and as a reader if the story doesn't contradict here), I can choose that the victims are rescued and don't suffer lasting physical harm. I can even choose that they don't suffer psychological damage. That's the power of fiction.

My point is that: I'm looking for 'softcore' and light-hearted 'fun' bondage fantasies - and that's the kind of experience I propose when I write my own stories. It recquires suspension of disbelief: Yes, I ignore some aspects of reality for the sake of my fantasies, because I want things to remain light-hearted. If people don't like that, it's fine. It's fictional fantasies. I'm aware that in real life it would hurt people, that these actions aren't good. But on the stories on this Board, we're not in real life. So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story. If that comes across as hypocritical to you, I apologize because it's not the intent. My goal is simply to enjoy my fantasies, and let everyone else enjoy theirs. I would never post a comment under the work of someone who did lethal work to condemn them or to tell them they're beneath me.
"So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story."
I can't agree with you more

In the beginning, my discussion was about the rationality of the act of costume change in the story. I'm sure you've seen the discussion before. Too many unnecessary victims.
I just wish there was a good explanation to make the story seem reasonable.
For example, the main character is an "anti-hero," similar to Harley Quinn in Batman.
It leads to strange explanations and discussions, such as paying large sums of money for the mental health of the victims...

"They signal the victims just to avoid as much accidental deaths as possible. Actually making sure that the victims don’t loose their jobs and providing them with psycological support."
Our purpose in discussing the story here is not to make a moral critique.
Just pick out the "unreasonable" parts and modify them to achieve perfect results.
For example, your pants zipper is open, after I tell you, you just zip it up, it's very simple.
There's no need to find all sorts of weird reasons for unzipping your pants.
pc305435632
Posts: 432
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2018 8:18 am

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by pc305435632 »

In fact, when I question whether the number of victims is justified.
" So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story." That's a good answer. ;)
This is more than"Actually making sure that the victims don't loose their jobs and providing them with psycological support." Much better. 8-)
Arc
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:57 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by Arc »

rufusluciusivan wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:32 am First things first, I wanted to welcom you, Arc. It's a pleasure to see new faces on this Board. There seems to be a renewed dynamism on the story section, and it's a real pleasure for an old geezer like me. :lol:

I like the idea of an experienced agent working with a rookie. It brings to my mind a duo like K and J from Men in Black, though I'm quite sure it's only me :lol: . It's a classic, but great setup. One that can bring many good interactions.

Same with the secret Organization. Am I the only one who thinks of the Men in Black? Though maybe it's because I watched this movie recently. In any way, I find the concept interesting - an organization which uses illegal tactics while trying to minimize the damage to innocent bystanders, but mostly for pragmatic reasons. I really like stories which explore the moral complexity of stealing uniforms. This has potential.

If I had a suggestion, it would be to write longer descriptions. I don't mind the big number of victims: A good variety of uniforms and nationalities/body types is always a plus. However, the big number can become detrimential if it means each woman only gets the minimum of description. Though if I can offer an advice, a good compromise would be to select a few scenes/victims (usually during key events of the story), and to give them a longer description/characterization, but to keep other scenes short to not ruin the pace - and to make the writing process less hard.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with it yet, there's no need to rush it. As someone who struggles a lot with English, I can assure you the more you write, the easier it'll be to add more details. ;)

A detail, but as someone who really enjoys to read about original/rare types of outfits, I really appreciated the idea to feature carnival disguises. It made me realize how rare this scenario is, even though a carnival makes for a perfect set-up!

To conclude, good luck for your next story!

Then, I'll apologize because it's off-topic, but I wanted to give my point of view about something:
Sometimes, I really feel that you people who like 'non lethal' are really hypocritical.
While of course I can't speak for all the people who like 'non lethal', personally it has NEVER been a way to pat myself in the back, and to tell myself I'm a good person - better than the ones who like lethal. It has always been because I, and I suppose many others, am simply not comfortable with the idea of death. It's a matter of taste, not moral. I don't find death glamorous, so I don't want it in my fantasies. The same way I rarely find full-frontal nudity appealing. It has never been a way to make a moral statement. It's just how I want my fantasies to be. Before I joined this Board, I was a fan of softcore bondage and the 'damsel in distress' trope - it's only after finding this Board I realized combining these with uniform stealing was even more appealing to me.

We're talking about fictional scenarios and fantasies here. The people featured in these stories don't exist. Sometimes, even the locations of their adventures are fictional. I'm not sure the comparison with real-life tragedies is relevant. Especially comparing fantasies on an online forum with real warfare and genocide. Same with the talk of human rights of the victims, since by definition none of the events happen to real persons - and I'm quite sure nobody here WANTS them to happen to real persons. As a writer (and as a reader if the story doesn't contradict here), I can choose that the victims are rescued and don't suffer lasting physical harm. I can even choose that they don't suffer psychological damage. That's the power of fiction.

My point is that: I'm looking for 'softcore' and light-hearted 'fun' bondage fantasies - and that's the kind of experience I propose when I write my own stories. It recquires suspension of disbelief: Yes, I ignore some aspects of reality for the sake of my fantasies, because I want things to remain light-hearted. If people don't like that, it's fine. It's fictional fantasies. I'm aware that in real life it would hurt people, that these actions aren't good. But on the stories on this Board, we're not in real life. So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story. If that comes across as hypocritical to you, I apologize because it's not the intent. My goal is simply to enjoy my fantasies, and let everyone else enjoy theirs. I would never post a comment under the work of someone who did lethal work to condemn them or to tell them they're beneath me.
Thank you rufusluciusivan! Your support really means a lot, I'm a great fan of your work!

I'm happy that you find the Organization to have much potential! I didn’t directly take inspiration from the Men in black, but I understand why it may seem similar. The Organization is basically a corporation structured mostly like a top-secret government agency. I'm also glad that you like the "regulated approach" of the organization

I appreciate your suggestion, and I will try to do exactly like you said!

I'm really glad that you liked the carnival costumes! I also like unused/rare disguises, so I’ll try to feature them often.
pc305435632 wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2023 10:55 am
rufusluciusivan wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:32 am First things first, I wanted to welcom you, Arc. It's a pleasure to see new faces on this Board. There seems to be a renewed dynamism on the story section, and it's a real pleasure for an old geezer like me. :lol:

I like the idea of an experienced agent working with a rookie. It brings to my mind a duo like K and J from Men in Black, though I'm quite sure it's only me :lol: . It's a classic, but great setup. One that can bring many good interactions.

Same with the secret Organization. Am I the only one who thinks of the Men in Black? Though maybe it's because I watched this movie recently. In any way, I find the concept interesting - an organization which uses illegal tactics while trying to minimize the damage to innocent bystanders, but mostly for pragmatic reasons. I really like stories which explore the moral complexity of stealing uniforms. This has potential.

If I had a suggestion, it would be to write longer descriptions. I don't mind the big number of victims: A good variety of uniforms and nationalities/body types is always a plus. However, the big number can become detrimential if it means each woman only gets the minimum of description. Though if I can offer an advice, a good compromise would be to select a few scenes/victims (usually during key events of the story), and to give them a longer description/characterization, but to keep other scenes short to not ruin the pace - and to make the writing process less hard.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with it yet, there's no need to rush it. As someone who struggles a lot with English, I can assure you the more you write, the easier it'll be to add more details. ;)

A detail, but as someone who really enjoys to read about original/rare types of outfits, I really appreciated the idea to feature carnival disguises. It made me realize how rare this scenario is, even though a carnival makes for a perfect set-up!

To conclude, good luck for your next story!

Then, I'll apologize because it's off-topic, but I wanted to give my point of view about something:
Sometimes, I really feel that you people who like 'non lethal' are really hypocritical.
While of course I can't speak for all the people who like 'non lethal', personally it has NEVER been a way to pat myself in the back, and to tell myself I'm a good person - better than the ones who like lethal. It has always been because I, and I suppose many others, am simply not comfortable with the idea of death. It's a matter of taste, not moral. I don't find death glamorous, so I don't want it in my fantasies. The same way I rarely find full-frontal nudity appealing. It has never been a way to make a moral statement. It's just how I want my fantasies to be. Before I joined this Board, I was a fan of softcore bondage and the 'damsel in distress' trope - it's only after finding this Board I realized combining these with uniform stealing was even more appealing to me.

We're talking about fictional scenarios and fantasies here. The people featured in these stories don't exist. Sometimes, even the locations of their adventures are fictional. I'm not sure the comparison with real-life tragedies is relevant. Especially comparing fantasies on an online forum with real warfare and genocide. Same with the talk of human rights of the victims, since by definition none of the events happen to real persons - and I'm quite sure nobody here WANTS them to happen to real persons. As a writer (and as a reader if the story doesn't contradict here), I can choose that the victims are rescued and don't suffer lasting physical harm. I can even choose that they don't suffer psychological damage. That's the power of fiction.

My point is that: I'm looking for 'softcore' and light-hearted 'fun' bondage fantasies - and that's the kind of experience I propose when I write my own stories. It recquires suspension of disbelief: Yes, I ignore some aspects of reality for the sake of my fantasies, because I want things to remain light-hearted. If people don't like that, it's fine. It's fictional fantasies. I'm aware that in real life it would hurt people, that these actions aren't good. But on the stories on this Board, we're not in real life. So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story. If that comes across as hypocritical to you, I apologize because it's not the intent. My goal is simply to enjoy my fantasies, and let everyone else enjoy theirs. I would never post a comment under the work of someone who did lethal work to condemn them or to tell them they're beneath me.
"So I can choose to ignore some things to have a good time reading a story."
I can't agree with you more

In the beginning, my discussion was about the rationality of the act of costume change in the story. I'm sure you've seen the discussion before. Too many unnecessary victims.
I just wish there was a good explanation to make the story seem reasonable.
For example, the main character is an "anti-hero," similar to Harley Quinn in Batman.
It leads to strange explanations and discussions, such as paying large sums of money for the mental health of the victims...

"They signal the victims just to avoid as much accidental deaths as possible. Actually making sure that the victims don’t loose their jobs and providing them with psycological support."
Our purpose in discussing the story here is not to make a moral critique.
Just pick out the "unreasonable" parts and modify them to achieve perfect results.
For example, your pants zipper is open, after I tell you, you just zip it up, it's very simple.
There's no need to find all sorts of weird reasons for unzipping your pants.


I'm sorry that I didn’t make myself clear pc. I did give you an answer: they disguise themselves as often as possible because it's, quite simply, a way to exercise themselves. It is also because they are trained this way: you must use your skills in infiltration as much as possible, and they do.
I think my mistake was assuming that you wanted an in-universe explanation. " I want to write an enjoyable story" is my real answer, but I thought you wanted to hear the in-universe anwer.

I also don’t know how this discussion degenerated the way it did, but I think it's because I made another mistake: I introduced a narrative element, the Agreement, out of its contest: the agreement is how I imagined the relationship between a government and the Organization would look like. However I fear you thought I was talking about morals, and here we are.

Still, this discussion was actually good, as it contributed to make me rethink a bit said agreement. Now:

- per the agreement the World 's government leave the Organization be and close an eye on their activities

- in exchange, the Organization refrains from using lethal means, does not target government infrastructure or figures and occasionally does favour missions.
It's standard operating procedure to signal the victims to the authorities, who open cases who are immediatly after closed due to "lack of elements"

I'll leave be the ideas of monetary compensation and psycological support because on a second thought they don’t make that much sense (too much money wasted) .

Thank you all for the feedback, and pc, once again, I’m sorry. The next time I'll be more clear and give a direct answer

Arc
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1230
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by rufusluciusivan »

In the beginning, my discussion was about the rationality of the act of costume change in the story. I'm sure you've seen the discussion before. Too many unnecessary victims.
It's true I focused on the last post. I can see why too many costume changes can bother someone, but personally it didn't bother me. I consider it's a bit of a tacit agreement between me and the writer: When I read a story on the Uniform Stealing Board, I expect to come across gratuitous uniform stealings. As you mentioned, in most infiltration-related situations, having a fake uniform tailored beforehand would actually be the easiest solution. But where would be the fun in that? :P

Your in-universe explanation of why they steal many uniforms is perfectly valid by the way, Arc. In general, I think a story doesn't necessarily have to be realistic - as in plausible by our reality's standards - unless the author wants it. It simply has to be internally coherent.
Arc
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:57 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by Arc »

rufusluciusivan wrote: Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:40 pm
In the beginning, my discussion was about the rationality of the act of costume change in the story. I'm sure you've seen the discussion before. Too many unnecessary victims.
It's true I focused on the last post. I can see why too many costume changes can bother someone, but personally it didn't bother me. I consider it's a bit of a tacit agreement between me and the writer: When I read a story on the Uniform Stealing Board, I expect to come across gratuitous uniform stealings. As you mentioned, in most infiltration-related situations, having a fake uniform tailored beforehand would actually be the easiest solution. But where would be the fun in that? :P

Your in-universe explanation of why they steal many uniforms is perfectly valid by the way, Arc. In general, I think a story doesn't necessarily have to be realistic - as in plausible by our reality's standards - unless the author wants it. It simply has to be internally coherent.
Thank you Rufusluciusivan. I was also puzzled when the "too unnecessary steals" was raised. I thought that suspension of disbelief was enough to justify it.

I also appreciate that you like my in-universe explanation. I try to write this story in the most realistic way for a universe where, well, there is an entire organization which focuses on stealing uniforms. So, I try to imagine how this organization would work, how it would behave with the word's governments, why there are no rivals or copycats... But I'm afraid that some parts will not be realistic because, quite frankly, uniform stealing is not. At least not always.

I should also thank you Rufusluciusivan for being a pioneer of our genre. If I'm correct you are the first, or one of the firsts, to have set some stories in dreams. I would like to use a dream to analize Jane psyche, and how she deals with her repressed problems ( a little hint, it involves her training). So I should really thank you for having paived the way.
meditions142
Posts: 1316
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by meditions142 »

I am a little late to the comment party but did want to thank you Arc for the story.

I did want to mention one scene I did particularly enjoy. As I have said before I really like the concept of knocking out a receptionist to both get past her and impersonate her. And you give us one of those with Adele.

Good scene including the fact the woman ends up in her bra and panties tied up and hidden under the desk she was working at.

The only thing I would have liked to see (not a criticism just a comment) is exactly what was done to the woman. We get the description "Before the receptionist could say anything else however Stuart took her out and knocked her unconscious." Would just have liked to see exactly what method was used to render the woman unconscious.
Arc
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:57 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by Arc »

meditions142 wrote: Wed Jul 05, 2023 1:07 pm I am a little late to the comment party but did want to thank you Arc for the story.

I did want to mention one scene I did particularly enjoy. As I have said before I really like the concept of knocking out a receptionist to both get past her and impersonate her. And you give us one of those with Adele.

Good scene including the fact the woman ends up in her bra and panties tied up and hidden under the desk she was working at.

The only thing I would have liked to see (not a criticism just a comment) is exactly what was done to the woman. We get the description "Before the receptionist could say anything else however Stuart took her out and knocked her unconscious." Would just have liked to see exactly what method was used to render the woman unconscious.
Thank you medition! I'm glad you liked the story! I know that sometimes my descriptions could be better, and need improvement, and I'm working on that!

Regarding the method used, I would say that Stuart sneaked near the receptionist as Adele was distracted by Jane and then proceeded to render her unconscious with a swift neck chop, a textbook move.
meditions142
Posts: 1316
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Taking down the Monteleones: The Carnival Masquarade

Post by meditions142 »

Arc wrote: Wed Jul 05, 2023 5:41 pm Regarding the method used, I would say that Stuart sneaked near the receptionist as Adele was distracted by Jane and then proceeded to render her unconscious with a swift neck chop, a textbook move.
Indeed! That is kind of what I envisioned. Always enjoy the distract the receptionist idea and allow someone to sneak up on her. Then a nice chop to that special spot on the neck that puts her out.

Poor Adele. Just doing her job and ends up knocked out and tied up. I assume she was probably quite the cutie with her dark brown hair.
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