Volume 5A: Strange Bedfellows

[esercito sconfitto]

Tirepanted, many thanks for delivering another of your wonderful tales

even if I am slow to comment, I read all the stories

and this one was of great interest; especially thanks to the dialogues , it can be considered, as a whole, like a point of reflection upon the Tirepanted's eponymous paradigm... seen like a sort of circular, inescapable fate



"Uniform thefts are becoming more common these days," (...) "It's just a part of the world now. If we don't get on board, it won't be long before we get mugged again."

I admit this part had a considerable effect on my thinking. And despite the slowness ( or the lack ) of comments of mine, trust me when I say that I keep being fascinated by these dialogues and by the attempt of these characters to break their "karma"

[tirepanted3]

Thanks, Esercito. Yes, I know you've been following my stories for a while now, and I always appreciate your thoughts, as well as your drawings.

The characters' conversations about uniform stealing have proven to be some of the more interesting dialogues to write, and I think they help add a new layer of depth to the characters and to the environment they operate in. Just fun to examine the ways that these different women respond to the use of USB tactics, which are of course quite prevalent in their daily lives.

[meditions142]

Thanks Tirepanted for the update. What is funny is I somehow missed reading the previous update and your the new post got me to catch up.

Of all the good stuff, I actually particularly loved the scene with the two bank tellers. While, as you know, I usually am a guard/sentry fan, something about the scene with the tellers just really appealed to me.

First off, the set up was perfect. Two young and pretty (at least I assume they were pretty) tellers ending their workday walking to the car in the otherwise empty garage. They fail to notice the attackers until the last moment when it is by then too late.

I love the idea of Carolyn trying to comfort the blonde as she is being knocked out. I also really think the idea of having Carolyn and Adelaide having a lengthy and intense conversation while the two young women they just knocked out lay unconscious at their feet is awesome. Just such a great concept.

Love the little exchange between Adelaide and Carolyn: "So, um... do you still want to strip them? I feel a little awkward about getting back to business, after the talk we've just had." "We'll strip them," Carolyn assured her. "We do need their uniforms, after all. But try to remember... these women are more than just a pair of uniforms. They've got lives of their own."

I also like the idea of both Adelaide and Carolyn lifting both women by their armpits to drag them off to the storage closet.

I also like the touch that the two girls were wearing rather conservative underwear. A nice dose of realism as that would be what you would expect a women to wear for a work day.

[rufusluciusivan]

I probably won't say much in the final review of this short story, because I realize I actually summed up a lot of my thoughts in the previous comment, so to sum it up:

I appreciate a lot your way of writing suspense. Not gonna dwell on it much, I already mentioned some of the methods you use in a previous comment. It's not specific of this story, but for some reason I felt inspired to talk about it here, so it was as good a moment as any to mention it. Maybe I said it before, but among the reasons that make me read your stories, the most important ones are your well-paced suspenseful narration and your one-liners and interactions.

Speaking of interactions, I too am very amused by all these 'meta' discussions that your characters have about uniform stealings. Though while, my favorites will always be the characters who tempt fate by saying that such things are obviously ludicrous, like Lettie. Looks like someone didn't know one never shall never tempt fate... In general, the interactions between your characters are (as usual) a pleasure to read thanks to their varying personalities.

Speaking of personalities, I'll also repeat what I've already said, and I'll mention that I appreciate all the work you do to take the time to give each character their own personality. I know that I often dwell on the characters I end up disliking (Harper is actually making me feel the same anger and loathing as with Bobbie recently), so I wanted to take the time to praise your efforts. Objectively, this is a work of quality. A good way to make your teams feel like teams of individuals and not hives.

Atsuko and Carolyn had a good development here, they are shown to become stronger and more assertive. Plus, Atsuko kicked some butts (or some foot to be more precise). I've already mentioned my detailed thoughts about your spin on Adelaide, and it hasn't changed here. I enjoyed the character development, even though she's far from the character I'm the most invested in (which is arguably a feat in itself ), and my only nitpick would be the way this development was kickstarted (not by a conversation with Carolyn, a character with whom she's already established a connection; but by a conversation with a random woman she's never met before and who doesn't have any special importance to her).

As for this specific part, I wasn't expecting the twist of Harper, Jenna, and actually being the ones to 'save the day', so to speak. However, that didn't feel out of character. It's the huge advantage of having so many characters with varying personalities. Sometimes, they give the story an unexpected twist, but it still feels warranted. Nice climax, a bit short, but efficient.

I see you couldn't resist a little cliffhanger at the end. Not a master of suspense for nothing, eh? Not gonna lie, I'm interested in the potential story. Happy new year to you too, I'm a bit late for the seasons greetings. I hope 2022 will be good!

[tirepanted3]

Meditions: Glad you caught up!

I know your fondness for security guard scenes, and tried to include a few of those in this story, but I'm also glad the bank teller scene worked for you as well. I tried to balance the innocence of the tellers with the peril of their situation, and also use it as a character moment for Adelaide and Carolyn. Typically I separate the uniform steals from the deep character conversations, but this seemed like a good place to combine the two.


Rufusluciusivan: I see suspense as an important motivating factor - not just for the readers, but for myself as well. More fun to write when the stakes are high and each chapter needs to end on some sort of cliffhanger.

It can be tough writing so many different characters and groups and giving each woman her own personality and dynamic with other characters, so I'm glad it's paying off. As mentioned earlier, the characters' conflicting attitudes about uniform thievery is a good way to draw contrasts between them. Even if not every character is likable, I want to give each one her own viewpoint and have it be understandable and logical within the story.

Adelaide's development was central to the story, and I tried to accommodate it as best as I could. This was helped by a few areas - her connection with Carolyn most obviously, but also her connection to Duke, as well as her conversation with Tilly. That last one wasn't borne out of a sense of deeper connection, but rather to show that Adelaide, for all her confidence and self-assuredness, can still be taken by surprise.

Having Evelyn, Harper, and Jenna help save the day in the end was also a fun little way of twisting expectations; they're not really villains (even if they work for a villainous woman) and having characters adjust their allegiances helps to underscore the moral greyness of the series.

A bit of a cliffhanger ending indeed - I guess I can never quite resist. Here's hoping to good cheer - and many stolen uniforms - in 2022!

[Praetorian]

Great story, though the longer this series goes on, the harder it is for me to remember all your characters.

[tirepanted3]

Thanks! Yes, I understand what you mean - I love writing this series, but it can be difficult even for myself to keep track of all these characters. (That is partly why I'm focusing on short stories right now instead of longer ones - easier to put the focus on just a few characters at a time.)

I am currently working on a character sheet that will attempt to explain all the different heroes and villains in the series and give their descriptions. Hopefully that will be useful for readers to consult if they need a refresher on who's who.

[Trackman281]

I'll link the part 2 and 3 reviews here in one review post, but I'll still do my usual breakdown of all the scenes, which means, while I may ponder about something in the part 2 review, it'll probably be revealed in part 3, but I just can't help myself, okay let's get into it.

part 2 review

I like these types of openings, a nice little joke or two from Adelaide then Carolyn's cover almost gets blown immediately, although there's obviously going to be a confrontation there with that suspicious guard, it's going to be cool to see.

Another nice little foreshadowing scene there with Tilly and Gina. It's always the kitchen staff isn't it, haha, it's perfect.

Hahaha, okay I'll be honest, I did enjoy the next scene here with Carolyn fumbling around, I do enjoy the style of comedy you use in your stories, it's not flashy, forced or always insisting on itself. The comedy in your stories are subtle and that's what I love about it, because I personally never see them coming, so when it actually does happen, it always makes me smile.

So saying, she set the wine tray down on a nearby side table. "Help yourself."

Oh, those poor choice of words. A fantastic USB scene and I liked the way Adelaide was wise enough to make Ilana put the tray down, less the bottles smash and cause "unwanted" attention, it's little details like that in your stories that I both love and appreciate. Not only that, but I like the way you always find ways to make your unknowing and certainly unwilling uniform donors say lines that seem normal in their mind, but to the reader it's a massive "poor choice of wording" given the situation that's about to follow. Again, this is something that I truly do appreciate in your stories and once again, it's always something that makes smile. Although I am slightly jealous of that awesome mind of yours as I wish I could think of lines like that.

Wow! I must admit, I thought we were about to see Carolyn get into one those types of fights of where the bigger and stronger woman dominates the fight until the very last second, the weaker woman manages to grab something and knock her out, but please don't get me wrong, a good old fashioned chloroform takedown is still up there in as one of my "top 3" favourites. So I really enjoyed this scene.

Nice, I was wondering when were going to see Atsuko and thankfully I didn't have to wait much longer, a creative little scene with her escaping here, nicely done and cleverly written.

Haha, I enjoyed the way Gina passed out, and I was hoping something was going to happen to her as she starting to wind me up. Poor Tilly though, I was actually kind of routing for her to have a less "psychical" takedown after seeing what she goes through Gina on a daily basis, but it seems I might be wrong and by the way this going, she might actually get the worse of the two.

I really enjoyed this next scene, for starters it was superbly written and slightly intense which only made even more better, I loved Atsuko's lines about her stealing clothes and if I'm being honest here........A farmer's market delivery driver.......Damn it. How do you always find different uniforms to steal. But what I really found funny was it was one of those casual, quickly mug a woman for a disguise, only to be blown seconds later. I don't know why, but I've always found these types of scenes to be quite enjoyable. Nicely done all round.

"That uniform... Please return it to the woman you stole it from."

Adelaide couldn't help but laugh. Then she realized Tilly was being serious.

"Return the uniform? Honey, I don't think you know how this works..."

That is just a bit I really wanted to highlight, but seriously, this entire scene had me smiling and at one point (this point above to be specific) actually made me laugh. It starts of serious with Tilly helping Adelaide albeit with for her own benefit (and rightfully so to be fair), then you immediately pulled a 180 and turned into a part comedy sketch and if I'm being honest. I think it was hilarious . You really do write your characters with such love and attention and I just love reading them.

I enjoyed the next scene with Carolyn as well. She's so innocent in all of this that her scenes actually come of as quite sweet. She really is a likable character and I think you've done a great job with her character development, not only in this story but as well as her previous appearances too. She's a character of who you just can't dislike, because of how sweet and innocent she always seems.

I quite like Addison and Kelly, although this shouldn't really come as surprise, because as you may recall. I do like my villainesses, hhhmmm, I guess I've just always had a thing for bad women......Well, that's me done for in this life hahaha.

A nice continuity scene with Jenna, Harper and Evelyn, I always welcome returning characters and that little sly smirk at the end with Tilly really was the cherry on the cake for me. Okay, let's move on to part 3.

Part 3 review

"You're not going to be sick," Adelaide said tersely as she steered the car back toward the city streets. "Especially not on my new leather seats.

Oh I've been there before, so I know exactly how Adelaide is feeling right now. And heck yeah, let's have Duke make a welcomed cameo appearance, I must admit, I have got a soft spot for Duke, but that's just because I'm a dog person, so I'm biased.

A very light hearted opening here with Adelaide and Carolyn, I think you did a great job with both of these characters and their individual personalities, plus I like the way Adelaide tried to help Carolyn calm down and distract her but having her focus on something else for a moment. It's nice way to remind us that these characters are individual and there not just cookie cut, copy and paste of one another. It's the little things that really matter in my eyes.

Wow! A really great USB that really took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting Debra put up a fight the way she did. It's a fantastic USB scene all around, but I really did like the part of where Carolyn genuinely had concerns for the two women they had just mugged. But then again, this can be easily traced back to Carolyn's passed, so it's fully understandable as to why she'd be concerned over Debra and Jessie. I like the way Carolyn has kept this mindset throughout the whole story as I know sometimes, some characters suddenly forget that they went through instances like this and immediately become fine with mugging and replacing other women. I think you've done a great job in keeping this going with Carolyn and I really am routing for her in this story. She's actually quickly becoming my favourite character in this arc.

Jenna shrugged. "Then I'm out of ideas. Unless you want to, I dunno, knock that guard out and put on her uniform." She chuckled slightly.

Evelyn's eyes sparked. "That's a great idea."

"What?" Jenna looked surprised. "No, I was being sarcastic. Obviously we can't knock women out and steal their clothes."

Sorry I just had to highlight this part as when I read it, it genuinely made me chuckle too (for different reasons of course). It goes back to what I said above, you have this genius of planting little subtle jokes in your stories and I really love it, because I just never know when the next one is coming and it's great just sitting in anticipation and excitement. To me, the comedy bits of your stories are really one of the pillars of just how talented and how much of an amazing writer you really are. I just love everything about it, it's one of the many reasons as to why you are one of my most favourite authors and why it so easy for me to get lost in their world.

"We had our uniforms stolen, and now we're motivated to steal another woman's uniform. And someday in the future, this woman will be inspired to steal a uniform from a different woman. And so on, and so on."

"It's the circle of life," Harper chortled.

Good sir, have you just solved the evolution of USB as a whole. You really are the Alpha of this genre and so I bend the knee.

That was a very powerful scene which followed. it's a great way to show just how serious Atsuko's predicament is getting. I remember you wrote several scene's like this in your other stories and they invoked the same feelings then as they did now. I genuinely want Atsuko to be rescued and even though I know it's coming, you always do such a fantastic job with the build up leading up to it. It's get the blood boiling (in a good way) and I can't wait to see this inevitable showdown.

Jenna knelt down beside them. "Look, I know you're probably angry right now, but... when you get free, try to return to your normal lives. Don't go finding other women and mugging them for their clothes like we do. The cycle needs to end, and you can help end it."

I don't know why, but this line really stuck with me. I'm curious to know.......Is this foreshadowing something to come? Is it you subtly telling us something about future stories? Oooooorrrrr......Am I just clearly over thinking things?.......Probably, over thinking things.

WOW! And I do mean wow! I know that there's a part to this. Don't worry I've seen the top of it. But please know, that I really enjoying every moment of this and all I can say right now is I'm so sorry it's taking me this long to catch up. I love the way you write your characters and of course your USB scenes as a whole are absolutely amazing.

Plus, I really liked the woman with Magenta dyed hair, but that's not really a secret that I like women with exotic hair dyes.

Some of my favourite scenes in parts 2 and 3 were definitely the interactions between Adelaide and Carolyn. These two women just have great personalities and although at times, there views and personalities collide, you always find ways to write some of the most heart warming moments with them too. Now yes, obvious USB scenes are the bread and butter for story telling, but I for one love storied worlds too, and of course one of the key points in this is naturally character development. I have always loved the way you write your characters, as there's actually been more than one occasion where I've actually been able to relate to some of them going through certain aspects of their lives, which of course has only made me love them and respect them even more.

You know I've genuinely missed reading your stories and just getting absorbed in their world, so it feels so invigorating to be back reading all of these wonderful chapters. Although I still need to read part 4, judging by this chapter (at least by the opening segments) and "terror on the seas". I'm really enjoying all these maritime adventure style settings. It's a setting that isn't really used too often in the story section and it's a shame because it's one of the most enjoyable (well in my mind anyway ). So I really do want to thank you for that as well. All we need now is a bottle of rum soon and the nautical theme will be complete.

Please don't worry panic as I shall be reading part 4 tomorrow, because what better way to kick off the weekend than with the next part of this chapter.

[tirepanted3]

The comedy is among the most crucial elements in these stories to me, but also one of the hardest aspects to write without it feeling forced or over the top. I enjoy writing it though, and I'm glad it clicks with you.

There have of course been a lot of unfortunate deliverywomen getting their clothes stolen in stories on this board, and I recall a memorable scene in Rufusluciusivan's "Final Gambits" in which Mikani and Klenia mug a pair of farmworkers. So I thought it would be a fun idea to combine the two concepts into one uniform, and give Atsuko a new disguise (albeit one that would not last long, regrettably for her).

I enjoy contrasting the good characters like Carolyn with bad characters like Kelly and Addison, particularly by showing their different approaches and techniques in uniform stealing. And I love writing villainesses, so I can see where you're coming from.

The Adelaide/Carolyn dynamic is the heart of this story, and I try to put both in a sympathetic light in spite of their disagreements. Carolyn is one of the most sympathetic characters in the series, and I try to keep her character consistent in her reluctance to mug other women and general aversion to danger (unless Atsuko is the one in danger).

The philosophizing about USB concepts between Harper and Jenna was also fun to write, and I'm humbled by the notion that I've summed up the USB equation as a whole. Jenna's line to the mugged guards may or may not be foreshadowing - given how often the USB victims become USBs themselves, who can say?

Indeed I'm well aware of your love of dyed hair. (And Rufus correctly predicted earlier that you would appreciate it.)

I didn't initially intend for this story and "Terror on the Seas" to share a nautical theme, but I think it's an interesting backdrop for some underused uniforms to come into play.

Don't worry, I'm not panicking. I always appreciate your feedback, but understand that life sometimes gets busy. (It's partly why I' haven't written much lately myself.) Thanks again for your thoughts.