Making Waves by Wacking a WAC

[cardenio1611]

This story is a description of a 1940 movie titled Making Waves by Whacking a WAC and starring Lucille Ball as Lt. Annie Todd and Joan Davis as Seawoman Taffy Puss. Lucy was then a blonde as was Joan. The movie was inspired by a cartoon starring Popeye and Bluto and was made with the hope of starring a series starring Lucy and Joan along the lines of the 1930s series starring Thelma Todd and Patsy Kelly that pushed the censors' envelope by having Todd's dress torn off frequently and displaying her in a slip and sometimes in a bra and half-slip. But, once the (fictitious) film was completed, the movie censors determined that it had gone much too far over the line. The series was cancelled and the movie released only for viewing by studio executives.

The setting is a military barracks in 1940. Taffy is wearing the white top, pants, and sneakers of a Navy seaman as part of an experimental WAVE (Women's Reserve) unit. Her superior office, Petty Officer Daphne Monsoon, is yelling at her.

"And our entire WAVE unit has been granted leave until 0:1600 this evening at which time we'll be off on a three-month experimental mission. But there's no leave for you, Puss. You're confined to this barrack until 0:1600 at which time you'll report to the ship for embarkation. No one is to enter or leave this barracks until then. Your name is at the gate and you will not be allowed to leave once you show them your dogtags. So you are stay here, Puss and to read the code of behavior for seawomen." She leaves, and Taffy is alone.

"No leave! No leave! And then away for three months! How do I get out out of this chicken outfit! Join the Navy and see the world my foot!" She looks out the door windows and sees a young Army WAC (Womens' Army Corp) walking happy-go-luck through the camp on the way to the front gate. "Wait a minute!", Taffy says. "I think I know a way to get out of this chicken outfit! I'll get leave all right. It just won't be mine." She opens the door a crack, waiting for the WAC to pass by. Just as she does, Taffy opens the door, reaches out, grabs her by the shoulder, and hauls her into barrack. The WAC goes flying into the barracks, spins around dazed, while Taffy locks the door and creeps up on her. The WAC turns facing Taffy, and Taffy hauls off and hits her with a right uppercut. The WAC spins half way around. If this were a cartoon, there would be the sound of birdies. Her eyes roll in their sockets, she develops a silly grin, and then falls face forward to the barracks floor.

"Sleep tight, sucker," Taffy says. She kneels down, pulls off the WAC's Army jacket, and searches the inside pocket for orders. She finds a single sheet of paper and holds it up: "ORDERS. Lt. Annie Todd, Women's Reserve. May 10, 1940. Two weeks leave, commending immediately." Taffy shouts, "Yahoo!" And then stops herself and looks around to see if anyone heard her. Convinced no one did, she says aloud, "Two weeks! My ticket off the base and out of the Navy!

She turns her over and looks down at Annie. "Welcome back to the Navy, Seawoman Taffy Puss." Taffy confirms they have the same color hair and build, although Annie is, admittedly, prettier.

She reaches down, undoes Annie's tie, and unbuttons her blouse, revealing a white bra on which are stenciled the words, "LT. TODD." Taffy laughs. "That's the military for you. They label everything." She pulls Annie up to a sitting position, takes off the blouse, undoes the bra and tosses them both into a pile. Then she reaches down, undoes the skirt button , and walks around to pull down the skirt, revealing long stocking-ed legs and black shoes. "The shoes!", she says in alarm. "I hope you don't have feet like my sister!" She tries one on and sighs in relief. "No, you got feet like me, big and thin. And silk stockings! I haven't seen silk stockings in months." She unfastens the garter belt and gently pulls the stockings down and off, holding them against her cheek as if it were a mink coat. Finally, she pulls down the panties, which are labeled "LT. TODD."

She stands up and pulls off her own top and pants, kicks off her shoes, removes her socks, and then slips off her bra and panties, which are simply labeled "PUSS." Then she takes off her dogtags and drops them on Annie's flat, bare belly. "Almost the most important thing," she says, kneeling down and removing Annie's dogtags, which she placed around her own neck. She reaches for her own on Annie's belly and runs her hand across the bare skin. She slips her own dogtags around Annie's neck, and their bodies touch. Suddenly, Taffy feels something deep down inside and pulls away. "Maybe--that's why I don't go out with men."

Taffy stands up and dresses in Annie's uniform and then pulls her panties and bra with their stenciled identification onto Annie. Then she finishes dressing her in the top, pants and sneakers. Reaching instinctively into Annie's jacket pocket, Taffy finds her wallet with $500. "That was going to be some leave!", she says. "And it will be."

She starts to pull Annie, dressed in a Navy uniform, up, but then thinks of something. "Need an excuse for why you're out cold." She knows where Seawoman Mulhaney had kept her liquor in a plank under the floor and hopes she had forgotten about it. She had. She takes the bottle and sprnkles it over Annie's top. She puts her finger on Annie's chin, pulls her mouth open, and pours some of the rye down Annie's mouth and then across the face so that she will stink of liquor. The wetness awakens Annie, and she starts to sit up. Taffy drains what is left in the bottle and then brings it down on Annie's head. Annie's eyes glaze, her silly smile returns and her head falls back.

Taffy drags Annie to the door, makes sure the coast is clear, and then puts her over her shoulder. She brings her to the back of the barracks and lays her against the wall where the garbage cans are stacked. Walking around, she see the shore patrol. "Hey, over here!" Two patrolman run over and salute Taffy. Surprised, she realizes she has to salute back. "I found a seawoman over there. I don't know if she is injured or--" The patrolmen run around back. Taffy walks away and hears them say, "Shes drunk. We might as well bring her to the ship and let them deal with her." Taffy smiles and walks to the gate.

[esercito sconfitto]

wonderful story!