" Yoga Class " by Dogfish ( illustrated by Alexi-C )

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esercito sconfitto
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" Yoga Class " by Dogfish ( illustrated by Alexi-C )

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Yoga Class (by Dogfish)


Senya wrapped the medical tape around the almost naked yoga instructor’s ankles and wondered how she always got into these situations. The day had started innocuously enough, keeping her ear to the ground, checking in with her contacts at the market, the usual sort of thing. Then just like that, spotted by a trooper, chased out of the market into the warren of maintenance tunnels around the city, a ride on the back of a cleaning drone, an impromptu card game with the sanitation AI for Sector 12, and then dumped, now down to her undies, at street level near the back door of the Sector 13 Fitness Centre, which as everybody knew was always rammed with troopers because of the close proximity to the Pastry Corps and some mean spirited rumours about the local garrison getting a little doughy. It had been a long day and it was only getting started.

With the yoga teacher bound and gagged Senya put her to sleep with a nerve squeeze and tucked her into a locker. She remembered the yoga teacher had said her name was Haley, and she’d seemed nice enough, Senya hoped she wouldn’t be locked up for too long. While Haley took her nap however it was time for Senya to cause a little mayhem.

Senya figured the instructor would wake up in a while, probably force her way out of the locker or attract a rescuer soon after that. What happened next would depend on who the instructor told. Senya had seen her victims accused of playing pranks or be punished for being out of uniform, but she’d also seen smarter officers lock down whole sectors when they’d recognised her modus operandi. Given her earlier misfortune with the cards, Senya figured she was owed a little luck and besides yoga instructors this close to the Pasty Corps barracks probably got stuffed into lockers on most days.

She put on the yoga instructor’s outfit, a tight silver shinium top with matching leggings. Next to the outfit she found a bottle of shinium polish and the yoga teacher’s schedule. She used the polish to treat the outfit to a little rub, bringing out its full glow as she skimmed the schedule. She took the rest of the bottle and poured it out on the tiles in front of the locker holding the instructor, leaving a trail of it to the door. The only thing slipperier that shinium was shinium polish.

Between her borrowed schedule and the Fitness Centres helpful signage Senya was soon able to locate the yoga class in need of a teacher. Her students consisted of a squad of eight imperial troopers squeezed into their gym clothes and looking faintly annoyed both by the fact that their teacher was late and that they were in a yoga class at all.

Senya took the squad through a basic warm-up, playing the role of the earnest and friendly substitute teacher, asking questions, prying gently. She learned that they were all fresh recruits and that their commander and second in command had exploited the benefits of rank and taken the day off rather than having to do exercise. She learned that this squad was going to be assigned to reinforce Sector 12 because of the increased resistance activity. She learned that the numbers of recruits were down because somebody had been rescuing the little sisters called up to replace their missing siblings. She learned that the Pastry Corps were rumoured to be much sneakier than everybody thought.

Once the warm-up was done Senya had the squad adopt the Downward Facing Dog pose, their hands planted on their mats, their feet a little bit apart, their bottoms pointed up into the air at right angles. It was quite a sight. Senya sighed a little, as much fun as she could have with all these troopers over the full lesson, she’d learned enough from them and she needed to be on her way. More importantly, she needed to be sure they didn’t turn up in Sector 12 on time.

“This is a very important position,” Senya explained to the group, “And it’s one we’re going to be focussing on today.”

The troopers had set themselves in two lines of four and so Senya went to the rearmost trooper at the end of the line to get started.

“What’s your name trooper?” asked Senya as she squatted down beside the soldier. The soldier was wearing bright pink shinium leggings and a purple top that didn’t match. She was squashed into the outfit a little tightly and she was struggling a little with the pose.

“Zella,” replied the trooper, quivering a little as she tried to hold her position.

“Okay, I need you to hold on,” Senya casually put her hand between Zella’s legs, sliding it up her inner thigh, squeezing, “And focus on this area.”

Zella couldn’t focus on any other area, she was shocked, too shocked to speak.

“Focus,” continued Senya, sliding her hand across to the top of Zella’s other thigh, eliciting a little mewl of pleasure in the process.

“That’s good,” Senya slid her hand back around to Zella’s bottom before giving it a gentle squeeze, “And relax.” Her other hand connected shortly but sharply with the side of Zella’s neck, just a couple of inches of movement but with perfect placement and plenty of power. Zella’s eyes widened and Senya gave her a playful swat on the butt as she eased down onto the matt in a sort of stunned version of her intended pose.

“And what’s your name?” Ask Senya as she moved to the next trooper in the line. This one had long dark hair in a ponytail and wore a black leotard with dark silver leggings. She was in better shape than Zella and looked like she’d been doing this for years. Her bottom gleamed temptingly in the high polished shinium.

“Axya,” replied the trooper, smiling confidently, ever the suck up.

Her confidence was soon replaced by a feeling of surprise and confusion as Senya slipped her fingers under the bottom of her leotard and tugged it upwards. The sudden pressure between her legs was extremely pleasurable and she blushed deeply. She could feel the shinium getting tighter and tighter against her as Senya lifted her, so only the tips of her fingers and toes were touching the ground. Ordinary materials might have made this painful but the sleek shinium comfortably took the weight, redistributing it in surprisingly agreeable amounts, causing Axya to have to bite down a little squeak of pleasure.

As Axya tried to keep herself from lifting off the ground she felt Senya’s free hand begin to push down on her butt, doubling the force on the slim strip of shinium pulling up between her legs. This was too much, way too much. Axya was used to being poked, stroked and groped by drill instructors, officers, inquisitors and basically everybody else who outranked her in the Imperial military (and that was almost everybody), but this sudden and overwhelming sensation was more than her body could handle. Her eyes rolled back and she fainted away with a little sigh.

Senya lowered Axya down onto the mat and smiled, the tactical wedgie having proven its worth again. The next two in the line were buxom blue haired troopers from out in the farming worlds, by this point somewhat struggling to hold their poses in their gold and silver outfits.

“Ladies, please,” Senya said gently as she approached the two of them, “In Yoga it’s important to be able to relax fully, let me help you out with that...”


Back in the locker Haley woke up. Her memories were hazy, but she soon pieced together what had happened before her enforced nap. Meeting the curious blonde in the locker room, a brief make out session with her, a couple of stinging swats on her bottom, then being tied up and best she could figure was dozing off. Either way, it was time to get back to work.

She tried to wiggle, but there was no room to wiggle, there was barely room to do anything. She could try to call for help though, or at least, mmph for help and sure enough she succeeded.

A passing trooper heard the noise and immediately knew what had happened, the troopers in this sector having long been used to the sound of people yelling through gags in lockers, cupboards, or anywhere else an unfortunate sentry could be stashed. Some days you couldn’t walk past a set of lockers without finding a couple of nerds from Intelligence clumsily wrapped up in tape like bespectacled birthday presents.

Haley watched as the trooper entered the room, mmphing at her encouragingly. The trooper soon figured out where she was and made a hurried beeline for the lockers. She was a petite but curvy girl with wavy green hair named Noxy. A rookie like nearly all of the Imperial troopers in this sector, but unlike many she was a willing volunteer.

Noxy opened the door and looked Haley up and down suspiciously.

“Who are you then?” she asked.

Haley mmphed with surprise and rolled her eyes. She had expected to be untied, not questioned while gagged.

“Ahh,” said Noxy after a few seconds, “I remember you now, you’re the yoga teacher.”

Haley nodded.

Noxy smiled slyly, “So they finally got you eh?”

Haley replied by making a confused expression.

“See the thing is,” the trooper said, “There’s quite a few folks don’t like your classes. It’s hard work. And a lot of us, we’d rather spend the day in the steam room.”

Haley mmphed indignantly at this, she’d always been popular with her students. Though she knew some of the other instructors could be harsh she always thought she was fair.

“So what I think,” said Noxy thoughtfully, “Is I’m going to put you back to sleep and leave you here for somebody else to find, which should be about half an hour from now.”

Haley mmphed in alarm as Noxy reached forwards and grabbed her, one hand covering her mouth and nose, the other squeezing her boobs, like an annoying shopper checking the ripeness of a couple of melons.

Suddenly a look of confusion spread across Noxy’s face, and she began to sink downwards. Haley took the opportunity to twist out of her grip and watched as the trooper’s feet began to slide out from under her. Noxy grabbed for the door of the locker to steady herself, her feet slipping about crazily as if she was on a sheet of ice. The polish that Senya had spread on the tiles had robbed the soles of Noxy’s boots of their traction and even the small shift of weight towards Haley had been enough to upset her balance.

Haley took her chance and hopped into Noxy with enough force to send the trooper further off balance. Noxy tried to grab Haley as she fell, thinking that the bound yoga instructor was making a break for it, but instead Haley leaned into Noxy’s grasp, curling against her, her weight upsetting what was left of Noxy’s equilibrium.

They landed with a thump, Noxy first, Haley on top of her as uncomfortably as she could make it for her would-be jailer. Once they were on the floor Haley wasted no time, rolling off Noxy’s supine form and crawling away towards the door across the slick tiles. Noxy, now winded having being butt-dropped by her pert opponent, tried to get up to stop her, but her feet slipped once more. With an annoyed sigh she admitted defeat and settled back on the floor, she was most definitely not being paid enough for this malarkey.


Out of a sense of respect for sporting traditions Senya had decided to put the trooper in the gold outfit to sleep first. A distracting hand slipped underneath to pull down the front of the trooper’s top and then the other rapped her firmly across the right temple with her knuckles. She went down with an odd look on her face, as if she was so surprised by her boobs escaping from the gleaming material that she’d just decided to give up and go to sleep rather than try to smush them back in.

The trooper in silver watched her friend being dispatched but wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do about this. Was this an attack? By a yoga instructor? In the middle of a sector under imperial control? Had her friend always had such amazing boobs or was it the way the shinium was pushing them up from below? While she contemplated these questions Senya wrapped her up in one of her favourite quick and dirty sleeper holds, so called because it meant five seconds to unconsciousness with her free hand slipped inside her victim’s pants.


It did not take Haley long to angrily hop through the building to find her class. None of the troopers she passed along the way offered to help and after the first two simply laughed at her plight she stopped even trying to get their attention. She was usually a very mellow person but she was feeling particularly annoyed right now.

As she hopped around the door she saw Senya in her instructors outfit lining up the last two of the troopers in what was called the child’s pose, on their knees, with their hands stretching out in front onto the floor almost as if in prayer or meeting their very favourite speeder racer.

As she watched Senya adjusted their posture, taking considerable time to adjust their bottoms in the exact right position. Haley wasn’t sure she’d ever seen anybody teach yoga who needed to do this amount of squeezing, kneading and pinching of her students, not that either of them seemed to mind. She hadn’t heard any of the others complaining either, which is when she looked around and saw them all still slumped in their Downward Facing Dog poses, snoozing silently.

The first of the troopers took a little too long to adjust her posture to Senya’s liking and so she helped out by adjusting the trooper’s neck, nothing dangerous but a little bit of pressure where pressure was not meant to go and the trooper’s eyes rolled back in slumber. The last trooper was much more pliable, she genuinely seemed to like Senya grabbing her and firmly manipulating her body and bum. She was positively purring by the time Senya decided to apply a finishing touch, trailing a finger down her spine to find the sweet spot, delivering a short, swift, strike to the nerve cluster and watching her eager student succumb.

Haley didn’t know what to make of all this. The woman in her yoga outfit, who she vaguely remembered from their earlier tryst, seemed to have dispatched an entire squad of troopers without them even fighting back. In the mood she was now in this seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do with Imperial troopers. However she’d also been the one to tie her up and stuff her into the locker in the first place.

At that moment Senya spotted her and recognised her.

“Oh hi,” she said, slightly awkwardly, “If you want me to untie you, hop on over, if you’re looking to get help… Well I guess you would have already?”

Haley mmphed and hopped over to Senya, who slit the tape easily with a sharp fingernail, pulling the bonds off her carefully, ensuring that the tape didn’t sting. She did the gag last of all and their eyes met again, and Haley decided that she couldn’t stay mad at Senya. She could however stay mad at the Imperial army.

“So they didn’t help huh?” asked Senya when Haley was finally able to speak.

“Not one of them, they just laughed.”

Senya frowned, “See that’s just mean. When I tie somebody up and leave them in a locker, it’s because I need to tie somebody up and leave them in a locker so I can steal their clothes, sneak around a building full of soldiers and do this sort of stuff.” She slapped one of the sleeping soldiers on the bottom for emphasis.

Haley nodded, “I didn’t think it was anything personal. They were being jerks though.”

“Well you know what,” said Senya, “There is an old saying. Revenge is a dish best served…”

“Cold?”

“Cold? Oh no. Often. And by hotties in shiny outfits. So steal yourself one you like and let’s go cause a little chaos.”

Haley helped herself to Zella’s mismatched outfit while Senya worked over the room quickly one more time, giving each of the soldiers another little love-tap to keep them snoozing for a while longer. Once Haley was ready they headed out the door and set to work.
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