[Updated] "Blade of the Inquisition, Prologue and Chapter 1" (interactive story)

[ascetic]

Hi everyone. I’m very excited to present to you the prologue of my first interactive story called “The Blade of the Inquisition”. I don’t know where it’s best to put it, so I decided to make this thread in General Discussion.

I have planned to write an interactive story in our genre for a long time and finally found the necessary tools and inspiration to make it happen.

Here is the link to play it.

Only prologue
https://www.inklewriter.com/stories/97468

Prologue + chapter 1.
https://www.inklewriter.com/stories/98520

It is something like a gamebook, where you can make different choices during the story and see the consequences of your choices.

There are 22 spicy pictures that appear when the main character does certain actions. Not all of them will show on your first playthrough, so I encourage you to play several times. Let’s see if someone can find all of them.

Warning: depending on the choices you make the story can become a bit gross. I tried to cover many things that the reader might be interested in. You have been warned.

I will be very happy to know what you think about it and if I should continue doing such stories.

English is not my first language so I will appreciate if you could point out any mistakes, particularly in grammar.

I playtested it as best as i could but there may be some logical inconsistencies. Please let me know if you find one.

[rufusluciusivan]

Gamebooks... Brings back so many memories... I remember spending hours playing them, and I still have my collection of them. Way to combine two things I adore!

Of course I would encourage you to continue doing such stories. Honestly, I think you're on to something. The gamebook aspect gives the uniform stealing of your story a more 'interactive feeling', so the scene feels a little different than the ones in a 'classic' written story.

I tried a few outcomes. Got the one during which Mirava loses her clothes, obviously... and a few game overs beforehand. I'll never look at hammers the same way. I didn't find any major inconsistency.

The liberty of choice (to go for lethal or non-lethal, nude or not nude) is a great idea, and I'm sure that everyone on this board will find something of their liking in this story.

As for the setting, I'm a fan of medieval fantasy, so of course I enjoyed it. You did a good job at introducing the setting without wasting time. Good idea to begin in medias res. I also guess that the gamebook aspect allows to not have to spend too much time on the lore, since you're playing a character who already knows about this lore.

Plus 'cultist-like' clothes are rare on this board, so it was nice to see some of them featured. I wouldn't mind longer descriptions of the physical appearances of the women, but that's only a detail.

A good first story. I don't know how much time it takes to write one using this software, but I'd be 100% behind you if you decided to write the next part of the infiltration. I imagine that Cecille van Hoff has some servants and guards that could be relieved of their clothes as well.

I don’t know where it’s best to put it, so I decided to make this thread in General Discussion.

I'd say that your story (and any future one) could simply be posted on the Stories by USB members section.

[ascetic]

Thank you for such long reply, Rufusluciusivan, i appreciate your feedback a lot.

Gamebook format looks like the perfect thing for this type of fantasy. As i was playtesting it, it really felt that the clicking (tapping on mobile) and making choices really puts the reader into the characters shoes and gives a sense of being there.

I must say that writing the words was the easiest and quickest part.
Creating pictures for the story and figuring how to do logic and connect different parts of the text to each other took much more time for sure

Here is a part of the 'story map' for example, with lines representing what connects with what and leads where.

[soundman]

It was really fun, and I thought I could make a sound photo version using the game tools I had, but unfortunately the software I was using probably wouldn't work on mobile

[Blue-Cynthia]

Excellent work. The interactive story paths really make it feel like a text-based adventure game.

I really hope you continue this since this is only the prologue.

[dizzydizy]

I also really liked it. Cool! I hope you continue this

[esercito sconfitto]

I like, but I am still playing !

I am such a clumsy player!


Ascetic, this is unprecedented from...well, centuries.

You created a heroine that is working for the good fellows...

...the Inquisition!

[ascetic]

Thank you for kind words, guys. You have encouraged me to continue)

Esercito, i find it fascinating when there are no universally good guys in the story, just different morally grey sides who oppose each other ) it makes the story more believable for me.

Please continue, i hope you reach the outcomes to your liking)

[ascetic]

Hi all, I'm glad to release the first chapter of my interactive story/gamebook "Blade of the Inquisition" - Escape from the Scarlet Hold Dungeon.

It features 9 spicy pictures that can appear during the narrative depending on your actions.

Here is the link to play it: https://www.inklewriter.com/stories/98520

I will be happy to hear your feedback)

Please note that in order to reach chapter 1 you have to play through the prologue again. This is because several decisions from the prologue have consequences in this chapter and its impossible to separate chapters into different stories/files and still have these connections.

Chapter 2 might be longer and more open-ended than chapter 1 (just a teaser))

Enjoy.

[rufusluciusivan]

Wasn't expecting the next part to come out so soon, but it's a pleasant surprise.

A Chapter 1 in the continuity of the Prologue when it comes to the qualities and the originality of your concept. Still a good thing to leave some liberty of choice.

Your medieval setting allows for more original types of clothes... and underwear (bands) This is how one should wear armbands indeed. I like the rider's design in general, in no part thanks to the pictures (both with and without clothes ). Out of curiosity, did you draw the pictures yourself?

I especially enjoyed the little comments made by the heroine's inner narration when it comes to the impracticability of the Northerner's clothes, and the nightmare that is stripping her. Little touches of humour like that are always a plus.

A small typo, but in her first description the rider is described with ash brown hair, and after she's dragged into the cell, she's described with black hair.

Random anecdote, but playing again the prologue made me realize that if one replenish the Magic instead of the Strength, you can use magic to charm Mirava with magic... Secret path unlocked.

One final question, that may become important later if (as I hope) many chapters are added to this story: Is there a way to have some sort of "save system" with this website? Something that would allow a reader to return to a previous paragraph without having to return to the first paragraph, to prevent from having to restrart the story from the prologue in case of a game over?

Anyway, good luck with chapter 2. The promise of a longer more open-ended story (with several uniform stealings maybe? ) sounds very attractive indeed.