Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by Trackman281 »

DELETED SCENES

I did promise you all I'd make a quick deleted scenes post to show you what was originally going to be featured in this arc. Now I'm aware I was maybe being a bit too ambitious with this, and of course, I do know that people prefer the more light hearted and just flat out fun stories with only a hint of darkness thrown in, so naturally some scenes were tweaked or either removed just to make it a more enjoyable experience for you all. But here's the deleted scenes that would have been featured. I won't post the entire scenes themselves, just their highlights. Plus not all of these scenes are gone forever as some can be adapted in later stories. :D

1. There was supposed to be a scene with Ulla riding on an old Victorian chariot that she had deliberately set on fire, so she looked liked an specter or something similar to the headless horsemen from sleepy hollow. There was also supposed to be a scene reminiscent to mad Max fury road of where Ulla and some of her soldiers were in pursuit of a Phantom convoy.

2. I'm annoyed I had to cut this scene, but I just couldn't make it work.....Basically there was supposed to be a scene with Ellie getting into a fight with Amai, now because these two aren't exactly fighters and both have cute chubby features, it would have been one hell of a petty school yard style fight with biting, pulling hair and name calling. It also would have featured Tina and Louette looking at each other in confusion wondering if they should step in and separate them, but after seeing how silly they were fighting each other, they figured they didn't need to, as neither Ellie or Amai were in real harm of hurting each other.

3. There was supposed to be an additional scene with Knipperen infiltrating a facility and her holding a gun towards a woman and demanding she hand over her uniform. Now the woman would have called Knipperen's bluff and said that if she shot her gun, then everyone would hear and even if she had a silencer, she still would have gotten blood on the uniform so it would have been useless to Knipperen. It was a scene I wanted to do, but after some thought, I figured it was just too dark and might have put some people off, so I decided to leave it out.

4. There was supposed to be a scene with Soph taking on 4 Phantoms at the same time, she was supposed to get cornered in a room, only for her to crack her knuckles and smile with delight, because as those 4 Phantoms would have quickly found out.....They didn't trap her.....SHE had trapped THEM......Obviously a fight scene would have ensured and when it was all said and done. Soph was going to strip all 4 women and leave them bound, gagged and defeated, piled on top of one another.

5. Ulla's scenes were drastically longer, for instance.....The war scenes were supposed to have had Ulla advancing up a beach with her soldiers advancing with her while they avoided incoming mortar fire from the Phantoms bunkers. At the same time, Kheshig was supposed to have been present in the battle and it would have resulted in both Kheshig and Ulla having a one on one fight, whilst their soldiers collided all around them. This scene wasn't hard to do, it just didn't fit the over all tone for a USB story, so I decided to leave it out in the end.

6. Now Rebecca and Linda were originally supposed to have made an appearance in this arc. Naturally they were going to be knocked out and stripped by Libido (obviously), but Ulla was going to be with her as well and it would have featured a few scenes of dialogue of where Ulla was talking to Libido about why she loves tying up Rebecca and Linda in the 69 position together, I couldn't fit this scene anywhere logical, so unfortunately it just had to be cut.

7. I'll be here all day at this point, so I'll just round off the rest with this.......I was originally speaking to a certain member about a scene of where Ellie would have had no choice but to kill one of the Phantoms as they had discovered that Cassie was working with Tina and her sisters to bring Mary to justice, but we agreed that the scene might have ventured too far into dark territory, so it was left out..........Ulla and one of her squads were supposed to have been the target of a Phantom chemical attack with a modified / experimental strain of the cordyceps virus, but Ulla's mask had a built in filter unit so she was fine, but her squad would have been infected causing her to fight them.
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by rufusluciusivan »

1. Now, that's a scene that's begging for some context! :lol: I wish to know the thought process that led to the conclusion that the best strategy was to find a chariot and set in on fire. :lol: And it'd be even funnier to know the logistics involved. Did they bother building it? Did they steal it in a museum?

2. A bit mitigated on this idea. On the one hand, it does sound funny. (Reminds me of the 'fights' involving Stasis.) On the other hand, Ellie is a far less comical character compared to Amai, in fact I don't recall her ever having had a real 'comic relief' scene, so it may lead to an abrupt change of tone.

3. Honestly, I don't think the mere presence of a gun pointed at someone makes a story too dark. It all depends on context. Plus, Knipperen's never been shown to be a good person, so...

5. The hardships of trying to feature non-USB scenes in a USB story... I perfectly understand your problem!

6. Can't have too much of a good thing anyway. It'll be for an other time! It would've been hard to feature them anyway, since police forces aren't featured in this story, and having them be Phantoms would have been far-fetched.
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by meditions142 »

Hi Trackman. Thanks for posted your deleted scenes. Do much fun!

I actually kind of thought scenario 3 with Knipperen was a cool idea. A bit potentially dark but, as long as she didn't shoot the woman it could be fun. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of crafting a scene based on the concept. It is posted below.

First off, Trackman, if you want me to remove it as it is on your post, just let me know.

Second, my idea for the guard's uniform came from the guards in the Buck Rogers show "Planet of the Amazon Women". Here are some shots for your reference.

https://www.byyourcommand.net/cylongall ... play_media


https://www.byyourcommand.net/cylongall ... play_media



Here is my story.


Knipperen was extremely happy with her progress so far. She had managed to get into the facility without being detected or raising the alarm. However, she could only access the outer rooms and halls unless she could find a way to blend in to enter deeper into the compound. As luck would have it, an opportunity was presenting itself.

As Knipperen remained hidden around a corner she spotted a lone female guard on her patrol. Thanks to the energy saving low light level and Knipperen’s black full bodysuit she was confident the woman would not easily spot her.

The sentry was slowly walking her patrol route. She had that look like while she was trying to stay alert, she was bored and not as alert as she could be. Maybe even a bit lost in thought.

She wore the standard uniform of her employer who owned the facility. Gold pants and a gold deep thin V neck top. Under her top she wore a black turtle neck. On her feet she wore black vinyl boots that came a bit past halfway to her knees. She also had a thick black vinyl belt with a large gold buckle. On the belt was the guard’s pistol, radio and a pair of handcuffs. At the top of the girl’s right breast was a patch with two laurel wreaths around a star which was her employer’s emblem.

As for the girl herself, her name was Cassidy according to the identification badge and access card which was clipped to her belt. She was 24 years old. Cassidy had medium dark brown hair that hung straight and went a bit past her shoulders. Her eyes were a very pretty pale blue/green. She stood medium height and had a body that was thin but still a bit curvy. Her chest was a bit on the buxom side but still tasteful. While the uniform was by no means tight fitting, it still managed to show off Cassidy’s body well.

As Cassidy rounded a corner, she was suddenly face to face with Knipperen with her gun raised. For a moment it looked like Cassidy might go for her gun. However, Knipperen simply said “Don’t. Go for your gun and you’ll be dead before your body hits the floor. Now hands in the air.”

After a brief pause Cassidy raised her hands. She had a slightly nervous look on her pretty face but was clearly trying to look stoic. Knipperen quickly took the gun from girl’s belt and laid it out of reach.

Knipperen spoke “okay sweetie here is what you are going to do. You are going to strip off that uniform of yours for me. Sound fun? And of course, I probably don’t need to tell you what will happen if you don’t do what you’re told or try and raise the alarm.” She made a nod towards her gun.

Cassidy finally spoke. “If you shoot that gun the other guards will hear. Even if that has a silencer on it, if you shoot me you will get blood on the uniform.” Knipperen was impressed the pretty brunette was trying to sound so brave and defiant. However, she could see through the act and tell Cassidy was quite nervous.

“Well honey this gun is indeed silenced and as for ruining your uniform, not a problem. I am sure I can convince one of your other bimbo colleagues to give her’s up. Now you be a good girl and take off that uniform. I really don’t feel like killing a pretty girl. But in reality to me you’re just some dumb guard who is in my way so if you don’t cooperate, well, I may as well just put a bullet between those pretty eyes of yours.” As she finished, Knipperen made her voice sound meaner.

This seemed to have the desired effect and Cassidy’s face took on a more nervous and defeated look. “Okay, just please don’t hurt me.” With that Cassidy undid and removed her belt and laid it on the floor. She then removed her boots revealing white socks with pink hearts on them underneath. Next, she pulled off her outer uniform shirt. Followed by her turtle neck. She then slid off the uniform pants and laid everything in pile.

With Cassidy now out of her uniform it is shown that she is wearing a pink boy shorts and a light blue sports bra. Knipperen then walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek while still holding the gun where she could easily shoot the woman if she tried anything. She then wrapped her arm around Cassidy’s waist to pull them together. “You know, I am a bit disappointed in your underwear. Cute girl like you. I would have expected something a bit more sexy. Maybe to show off to that special someone after your shift.” She then instinctively looked at the ring finger on Cassidy’s left hand which was empty so if there was a “special someone” it hadn’t gotten to that point. Knipperen then continued “well, I guess these are more comfortable for your long guard shifts. Still, I would have loved to see a G-String.”

She then stepped back from Cassidy still aiming her gun at her. “Alright, turn around” Knipperen said with a very matter of fact tone. Cassidy was clearly getting more nervous. She said “I did what you asked and took off my uniform. I didn’t fight back. Please don’t hurt me.”

Knipperen responded. “Since you were so cooperative, I will at least promise to not kill you. Now, promising not to hurt you, that’s another story.” Knipperen, while still aiming the gun, reached down and took the sentry’s id badge/access card. “So your name is Cassidy. Well Cassidy, let me give you a little advice. You are quite a pretty girl but obvious not a very good guard. The next intruder in here may not be as nice as me and would not think twice about killing you. Probably best that you find some other line of work. Now, turn around.”

Cassidy turned around and stood there in her bra and boy shorts looking really sexy. “So what are you going to do to me?” she nervously asked. Knipperen walked up close to the brunette and gently rubbed her hand on her ass.

“Well my lovely Cassidy, you see there are all these very important nerves that run between the brain and the body. My personal favorite is the Vagus nerve. Now there is a point where all those lovely nerves run through a spot at the junction of a person’s neck and shoulder. For someone with the skills, a properly applied pinch to that special spot will render a woman unconscious. This is what I am going to do to you. You see, the nervous system is basically an electrical system. Thanks to my skills I can use my fingers to disrupt your nervous system and short circuit it temporarily rendering you unconscious.”

“Will it hurt?” the nervous and half-naked brunette asked.

“Well, I will not lie. It will hurt you more than it hurts me. But have no fear. It will not cause you any permanent injury.” Knipperen.

With that, Knipperen moved the gun to her left hand and reached her right hand out to clutch the right side of Cassidy’s neck on that special spot. She pushed through the girl’s brown hair and quickly found the right spot.

Before she pinched down she said to Cassidy, “You know, you could have been nicer to me and put your hair in a ponytail to make this easier.” However, Knipperen really was not having any problem given Cassidy was standing still so as not to risk Knipperen taking her out in a more lethal manner.

Knipperen then pinched down. The effect on the pretty young guard was immediate. She let out an “Ahhh!” as she froze seemingly paralyzed with her eyes wide open. Those eyes quickly took on a glassy look as they stared off blankly into space. Cassidy had some little involuntarily spasms and twitches and let out some soft “ooh aah aa ooh” sounds as her nervous system was disrupted. Knipperen knew the pinch was causing the girl some degree of pain but Knipperen figured this was ample punishment for being an incompetent guard.

Soon enough Cassidy let out a sexy moan as she lost consciousness. Knipperen continued the pinch a bit longer to make sure the girl was out. As soon as she was sure Cassidy was fully out she released he pinch and let Cassidy’s body fall to the floor with a thud. Cassidy initially landed on her knees but then fell over and laid on her side.

Knipperen quickly put on Cassidy’s uniform. She then lifted the brunette’s unconscious body, hooked her arms under her armpits and dragged the sleeping woman off to a room to hide her. As she looked down she noticed that through the material of the sports bra she could tell the guard’s nipples were hard. Had that been a side effect of the pinch or had girl on some level been turned by what had happened to her and being dominated by another woman, Knipperen could not help but wonder.

Knipperen then retrieved her bag and took out a needle. She knelt down next to her unconscious victim. She briefly caressed the woman’s ample chest. This caused the unconscious woman’s breathing to get deeper and she made some sensual “oooh, oooh, oooh” sounds. Even in her unconscious state, Knipperen was definitely getting the girl turned on.

But there was no time for fun. Knipperen took the needle and injected Cassidy right in her carotid artery. She initially winced a bit and stiffened at the feel of the needle but soon let out a soft sigh and relaxed back to the floor. Knipperen put her two finger on the woman’s neck to check her pulse and make sure she had not reacted badly to the drug. She found a slow, steady pulse. Since the drug worked she knew the young woman would be in a very deep sleep for the next seven or eight hours.

The drug would also erase Cassidy’s short term memory. Therefore, she could not describe Knipperen to anyone and would not remember anything at all about her guard shift or what was done to her. Of course, unfortunately, she also would not remember the career advice Knipperen gave her.

She thought about tying the half-naked beauty up. However, she had limited ropes and needed to have the handcuffs on the uniform belt to complete the look. Therefore, she took the chance that a simple guard like this woman could not shake off the effect of the drug and therefore would certainly not be a bother to Knipperen before the mission was offer.

She left the room and closed the door on the peacefully, and deeply, slumbering Cassidy.
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by Trackman281 »

Rufusluciusivan -
1. Now, that's a scene that's begging for some context! :lol: I wish to know the thought process that led to the conclusion that the best strategy was to find a chariot and set in on fire. :lol: And it'd be even funnier to know the logistics involved. Did they bother building it? Did they steal it in a museum?
Aaahhh then say no more, because the scene doesn't feature any USB scenes I won't post it here, but I have sent the scene to you in a PM, so you can view it for yourself and you'll see just what I had in mind when I wrote that scene, if I'm being honest, I loved it, so I do want to try and find a story where I can use it in the future, but please let me know what you think of it when you have time. :D ;)
6. Can't have too much of a good thing anyway. It'll be for an other time! It would've been hard to feature them anyway, since police forces aren't featured in this story, and having them be Phantoms would have been far-fetched.
Oh no, no. Rebecca and Linda were never going to join the Phantoms, you see originally this arc was going to be 10 chapters long, and one of the chapters would have seen the conflict between the company and the Phantoms go to far and there was going to be a fight that took place on the streets of Heartfelt city itself, so naturally the police would be the first responders, this of course was going to lead to a scene of where Libido and Marie were going to pull Ulla out of danger and keep her safe, so naturally they would have needed disguises, thus Rebecca and Linda would have been the first unlucky one's to walk into their path and that's when the scene would have taken place, there would have been a third policewoman as well afterwards for Marie to impersonate, but she was just going to be a random policewoman as the highlight of the scene would have been Libido replacing Rebecca and Linda (once again haha :lol: )

Meditions142 -
First off, Trackman, if you want me to remove it as it is on your post, just let me know.

Second, my idea for the guard's uniform came from the guards in the Buck Rogers show "Planet of the Amazon Women". Here are some shots for your reference.
NO, no. Keep it here, it's a really cool scene and I'll get to it in a moment, but honestly, it's perfectly fine and this scene you wrote can stay here no problems as I might even use it for inspiration. :D 8-) :D

I certainly do remember that buck rogers scene, although I'll always know it for the wrong reasons......Such a wasted opportunity and the fact that she even says of how she "borrowed" the uniform in a tone of voice that clearly indicates that she knocked out one of the guards and stole it, just feels like a kick in the teeth....Damn whoever wrote that scene was pure evil. :D :lol: :twisted:

Now as for this scene you wrote........I LOVE IT!......Seriously, it's incredible and it seems that you really have been paying attention to Knipperen's personality over these past few chapters and please allow me to be the first to say, that you captured Knipperen's personality and tone PERFECTLY!.....I loved the whole interaction with Cassidy and I really was wondering what your take on this scene was and I am truly happy that you provided it as I think you've done a fantastic job. I loved their interactions and you managed to capture the whole "Alpha" mentality Knipperen has when she's infiltrating. I loved the USB scene itself and of course Knipperen would be incredibly cocky and even a little sarky to Cassidy, because to her, Cassidy is merely here just to provide Knipperen with a disguise. Excellent work and of course I thank you very much for taking the time to write it, it's amazing! :D 8-) :D

I must admit. I feel both incredibly honoured and privileged, as not only have I had the sheer luxury of having characters cross over and even chapters written by two members who I consider to be my mentors (Rufusluciusivan and Tirepanted), but now I've even had the luxury of having a scene written by your good self. It's awesome and I love it. Thank you again! :D 8-)
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by meditions142 »

Thanks for the kind comments Trackman. I am glad you enjoyed the scene. I had not written in a very long time and was inspired by your deleted scene. I am really glad you felt I captured Knipperen's personality so well. Again, appreciate you letting use your deleted scene for inspiration and so glad you like it.

Funny we both are so frustrated by the Buck Rogers scene. Still can't believe the missed opportunity there. Even if the scene was not fully shown it would have been so great at least to see some kind of set up or beginning of the event. The only redeeming thing about the episode for me was when Buck and girl he was with escaped the space port. They knock out six guards in the process including two with some kind of nerve pinch.
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by tirepanted3 »

I understand the difficulties in cutting certain scenes from the final story. I've drafted a lot of ideas for scenes in my stories that ultimately were not included in order to tighten the pace or avoid deviating into unnecessary "filler" material. It's always a challenge to write a compelling story that features a good plot, complex characters, and an abundance of uniform thefts. I try to balance it as much as possible.

I agree with Rufus - the potential scene with Knipperen didn't sound too dark, since it doesn't sound like she ends up killing the woman. The use of a gun is in character for her, so it's the kind of scene that could work.

I think Meditions captured the scene very well. Great dialogue between Knipperen and Cassidy. So great to see other writers giving their own take on these wonderful characters. :)
esercito sconfitto
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Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:06 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by esercito sconfitto »

Trackman, looks like you made a miracle :D , you succeeded in bringing back Meditions to writing stories, this is something I deemed impossible :o
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by rufusluciusivan »

A little late compared to everyone else, but I just wanted to concur with the others and say that this was an enjoyable short story. Meditions, you certainly have a way to describe the entire process of a guard's mugging from beginning to end, plus all her reactions ;) , with great details. I think it's the advantages of a short story: It allows you to focus more on one scene, while when the story is long, one is tempted to shorten each individual scene to not break the pace.

It's interesting to see your take on this peculiar scenario... and on how Knipperen would overcome this problem. (Personally, I remember imagining the scene more as a comical scene, with Knipperen flabber-gasted to come across a smart guard - and then taking advantage of the fact that the sentry was gloating about her cleverness to straight up walk on her and punch her.)

Speaking of Knipperen's way of solving the problem. A very clever way. And an efficient threat. Indeed, she could just try her luck with a less genre-savvy sentry, so Cassidy did the right choice!
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by Trackman281 »

Meditions142 -
Thanks for the kind comments Trackman. I am glad you enjoyed the scene. I had not written in a very long time and was inspired by your deleted scene. I am really glad you felt I captured Knipperen's personality so well. Again, appreciate you letting use your deleted scene for inspiration and so glad you like it.
You're very welcome as I really enjoyed it and if you ever want to try your hand at any of my characters again in the future, all you have to do is ask and I'd be more than happy to say yes! :D
Funny we both are so frustrated by the Buck Rogers scene. Still can't believe the missed opportunity there. Even if the scene was not fully shown it would have been so great at least to see some kind of set up or beginning of the event.
I've heard rumors from some people that there is a scene of a lone guard doing her patrol when she is grabbed and pulled off screen by the heroine, but I've hunted high and low and I haven't found a thing, not even a trace of it in any deleted scenes, so who knows. I'd like to think that the scene is out there, but I doubt it now haha. :lol: :D

Tirepanted -
understand the difficulties in cutting certain scenes from the final story. I've drafted a lot of ideas for scenes in my stories that ultimately were not included in order to tighten the pace or avoid deviating into unnecessary "filler" material.
Well if at any point in the future, you wish to do a deleted scenes page or something like that, I can assure you, I'd be very interested in reading it as I wouldn't knowing what else you had in mind that would have fitted into your amazing stories. :D

Esercito -
Trackman, looks like you made a miracle :D , you succeeded in bringing back Meditions to writing stories, this is something I deemed impossible :o
Thank you, but I didn't do anything. Although I am incredibly happy to see Meditions writing again too! :D

Rufusluciusivan -
It's interesting to see your take on this peculiar scenario... and on how Knipperen would overcome this problem. (Personally, I remember imagining the scene more as a comical scene, with Knipperen flabber-gasted to come across a smart guard - and then taking advantage of the fact that the sentry was gloating about her cleverness to straight up walk on her and punch her.)
If I may just squeeze on in here and say......This is why I like these sorts of things as it's interesting to see all the different ideas different writers have. For instance, Meditions had his own take on it, I now know that you have you're own take on it and I have my own take on it too. It's just nice to see and hear all these different ideas. :D
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Chapter 42: Seeing Ghosts

Post by meditions142 »

Thanks everyone. I am so happy you enjoyed my little story.

Escercito, I know you have been wanting me to get back into writing for awhile. I have wanted to start writing again also but life and work has been getting in the way. However, it was fun to get back to writing. Really enjoyed doing it and loved Trackman gave me the idea that got me to write something.

And Trackman, so kind of you to offer me the use of your wonderful characters. I may be in touch to take you up on that offer.

And thank you Rufusluciusivan and Tirepanted for your kind words! Compliments from you two plus Trackman and Escercito really are fantastic given all your wonderful contributions to this board . So perhaps I should make the time to write more.

Finally, Trackman, it is really, really weird you mention the scene in Buck Rogers. From when I first saw the show, I had this very clear memory of a scene of a guard walking past a narrow hall between shelving or equipment and the Colonel Derring character grabbing her and pulling down the hall. However, when the reruns came on in the 1990s, I got the DVD, and NBC released a remastered video on its website not too long ago none had such a scene. I thought it must have been my imagination. However, on another forum (or perhaps the old USB forum) someone mentioned remembering the exact scene. Not sure if there was a scene that was lost to time for some reason or if it was the Mandela Effect.
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