Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by Trackman281 »

Meditions142 - I do try to cater to everyone's individual tastes as best as I can, that way at least I know that even if people don't enjoy the story aspect itself, at least they'll have something that they will enjoy, for example. I know that.......

Esercito enjoys it when a woman's boots are stolen and her attacker presents them as a trophy. :)

Rufus quite likes neck chop takedowns and he likes certain bondage positions. ;)

Tirepanted enjoys it when a guards equipment is used against her, so say for example, she gets zapped by her own taser or she is restrained by her own handcuffs. 8-)

And of course, I know for a fact that you are a fan of nerve pinch takedowns, but now that I know you equally enjoy seeing "sleep dart" takedowns, I'll see if I can get creative with some of the scenes I'm thinking of and see what I can do for you. :D
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by meditions142 »

Trackman281 wrote: Mon Aug 16, 2021 2:30 pm
And of course, I know for a fact that you are a fan of nerve pinch takedowns, but now that I know you equally enjoy seeing "sleep dart" takedowns, I'll see if I can get creative with some of the scenes I'm thinking of and see what I can do for you. :D


Love it and looking forward to it.

Yep. I do love nerve pinches but I also very much love a pretty and unsuspecting female guard being put to sleep with a nice, fast acting and long lasting knockout dart. And if the effect of the drug gets her a bit turned on in the process, who am I to complain?
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by tirepanted3 »

Finally got time to read this chapter. Another ambitious entry in the series, with lots of dark drama and light comedy. (As you may guess, I was more invested in the latter :) , but a lot of the drama worked effectively as well.)

I'm really digging the way you've introduced so many different factions and conflicting sides. Between the main characters, the Phantoms, the soldiers, and now Ulla forming rifts with her own employer. Really adds a level of plot and moral complexity that I love to see. More interesting than the traditional "good vs. evil" stories of old.

Ulla is a particularly interesting character, even if she's a bit overly grim. Her suspicious nature and stoic demeanor give her an air of mystery. I like the scene with the takedown of the lab assistant - the speculation she has about other infiltrators is a funny shade of meta-commentary. Welcome to the USB club, Ulla. :lol:

Some good camaraderie between the sisters, such as Tina and Marie when they mug the detectives. I am indeed a fan of victims being restrained by their own handcuffs, so that was a nice detail.

Mary Clide making the jump from one of Rufus' stories is a nice touch, and she added a good dose of menace to the chapter. Poor Betty... and the "Mary Mary quite contrary" line was both funny and threatening.

Also good to see Cassie return from that story as well - she provides some interesting moral balance to the chapter. Her non-violent method of stealing the ballet outfit was an interesting and unexpected change of pace. (And the ballet dancer can count her lucky stars. :D )

The charity function provided ample opportunity for new types of uniform thefts. I believe this is the first time a ventriloquist has been mugged for her clothes... and her puppet. A memorable scene without question. The magician and the mine also provided some underused uniforms, and some good laughs. (The mime sticking her tongue out as she faints, the bickering over "Sugar and Spice" as a name.) Your stories typically excel with silly humor, and this was no exception.

While I didn't love the more grimmer and violent parts of the chapter, there were plenty of fun and humorous scenes throughout. And I'm hooked on Ulla's arc now - can't wait to see if and how she'll clash with the main characters or the other villains.
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by Trackman281 »

Tirepanted - Thank you very much! :D

I do know that you naturally prefer lighter toned stories over the more darker toned one's, that's why I've actually greatly changed the formula of this arc, for example. In my original roadmap for this arc, by this stage it would have already gone to really dark places and Ulla herself would have had to "mercy" kill an entire squad of her own troopers. But of course I've tweaked it here and there so it isn't as dark as I want you to enjoy the experience. :D

I love it in stories of where it turns out both sides are just as capable of doing bad things as much as they are in doing good things. As I'm sure you've noticed in all my chapters, I like making it clear to readers that the line between good and evil is so very thin at times, that it can be really hard to see who actually is in the right and who is in the wrong. So honestly, I really am pleased that you are enjoying this aspect of it. :D

Hahaha :lol: I was hoping you'd notice that. Ulla doesn't understand infiltrators, the only dealing she's ever had with them was when Angel stopped her and the crows, so she's trying to figure out what makes and infiltrator an infiltrator. To her, there a mystery onto themselves, so she's trying to get into the mindset of why an infiltrator would do the things they do. This won't stop here either, as we will see Ulla going through these same thoughts again in future chapters, it's something I kind of want to elaborate on as Ulla is just trying to understand and all, she's trying to figure out the ultimate question. "What makes an infiltrator, an infiltrator?". 8-)

Yes Ulla herself can be a very grim individual at times, but this is because of her mindset. She's hates the idea of letting anyone get close to her, she pushes everyone away as best as she can and she deliberately comes off as cold and unsympathetic, just so people don't bother talking to her. Again though, this only stems from the fact that when she was in Sweden, Ulla got so emotionally attached to all the soldiers in her unit, that when she witnessed them all get needlessly killed in battle, she's now built this gigantic emotional set of walls around herself, just so she never goes through that pain again. In her eyes, the less she knows about someone, the less it'll hurt if they get killed in battle. :D
I am indeed a fan of victims being restrained by their own handcuffs, so that was a nice detail.
Thank you, I also know that sometimes it's nice to actually see the infiltrators actually "using" their disguises, rather than just have them steal a uniform for the sake of it. So when I was writing this scene, I wanted to do exactly that. I wanted Tina and Marie, to not only replace and impersonate the two detectives, but I also wanted them to momentarily become the detectives and actually do some of the detectives work like, examining the crime scene and finding out some information about the victim. :D

Seeing as how Rufus so kindly gifted me with Mary Clyde, I just had to use her and it only seemed fitting that if anyone should assist the sisters in bringing her down, it had to be Cassie. I never even thought of using anyone else, as soon as I knew I was writing Mary into this chapter, Cassie was immediately added to it. 8-)
Her non-violent method of stealing the ballet outfit was an interesting and unexpected change of pace. (And the ballet dancer can count her lucky stars. :D )
Cassie herself was actually quite fun to write, because of her views on infiltrations, I had to think outside the box a little bit with how she'd actually obtain her disguise, plus it was nice to actually write a few dialogue scenes with her questioning the sisters methods and how all infiltrations could cause harm to the women they mug, it was refreshing for me, that's for sure. :D
The charity function provided ample opportunity for new types of uniform thefts. I believe this is the first time a ventriloquist has been mugged for her clothes... and her puppet. A memorable scene without question. The magician and the mine also provided some underused uniforms, and some good laughs. (The mime sticking her tongue out as she faints, the bickering over "Sugar and Spice" as a name.) Your stories typically excel with silly humor, and this was no exception.
Thank you very much and I promise, your awesome comments go straight to my heart, they really do. :oops:. Yes, I was hunting around for new outfits to use in the USB scenes themselves and it just suddenly hit me that nobody has ever used a ventriloquist in a USB scenario before, needless to say, as soon as I realized this, I just had to have it. 8-) Plus, I also realized that until that point, we had been through several rather plot heavy scenes, so I wanted to add a few scenes of light hearted moments before we returned back to the heavy plot parts and it allowed me to add a few comedic scenes such as. Mag's embarrassment that she now has to impersonate another mime, the mime herself poking her tongue out like an over dramatic black and white cartoon character and of course Sugar and Spice's bickering over their nicknames. :lol:

I really am enjoying writing Ulla in this arc, because she is a dark horse going into all of this, for instance; She doesn't understand infiltrators that well, she doesn't understand the Phantoms, she's been thrust into a conflict she knows next to nothing about, she's discovered that the company is planning something and is secretly gathering DNA samples from her without her consent. She is someone who's greatly looking in through the window and she's just trying to make sense of it all. :) ..........Now Ulla herself will indeed be coming into contact with not just one but "several" key characters in this arc and I think it will be interesting to see just how she acts around certain individuals, she might be hostile, she might not be, I guess we will have to see. But if there's one thing I will say...Ulla is going to be raising a few very good points in a future chapter, because from where she isn't an infiltrator and she isn't a Phantom, she's naturally going to have a very neutral outlook on things. I'm spending a lot of time with those particular scenes as I want to get them right, but I'm hoping it opens up the readers mind and really make them think when they read them. :D

Thank you very much again for your awesome feedback / review. :D
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by tirepanted3 »

I love it in stories of where it turns out both sides are just as capable of doing bad things as much as they are in doing good things. As I'm sure you've noticed in all my chapters, I like making it clear to readers that the line between good and evil is so very thin at times, that it can be really hard to see who actually is in the right and who is in the wrong. So honestly, I really am pleased that you are enjoying this aspect of it. :D
Absolutely. :) I think it's very interesting to give layers to the different characters - show that the heroes aren't all good, and the villains aren't truly bad. I try to add this aspect in my own stories as well. I think the USB angle helps here - when most of the characters are willing to mug innocent women of their clothes, it provides for a lot of parallels between heroes and villains.
Thank you, I also know that sometimes it's nice to actually see the infiltrators actually "using" their disguises, rather than just have them steal a uniform for the sake of it. So when I was writing this scene, I wanted to do exactly that. I wanted Tina and Marie, to not only replace and impersonate the two detectives, but I also wanted them to momentarily become the detectives and actually do some of the detectives work like, examining the crime scene and finding out some information about the victim. :D
This was an excellent detail. The more a disguise is integrated into the plot, the more memorable it can be. I was kind of hoping to see Tina use her ventriloquist disguise later in the story as well - perhaps put on an onstage act. Alas... :lol:
Plus, I also realized that until that point, we had been through several rather plot heavy scenes, so I wanted to add a few scenes of light hearted moments before we returned back to the heavy plot parts and it allowed me to add a few comedic scenes such as. Mag's embarrassment that she now has to impersonate another mime, the mime herself poking her tongue out like an over dramatic black and white cartoon character and of course Sugar and Spice's bickering over their nicknames. :lol:
The comedic moments are always welcome. And I think they contrasted nicely with some of the more serious moments in the chapter, like the Ulla scenes. This sort of contrast is a good way to show the different types of characters and perspectives in your stories. Sometimes the stories can get a little too dark for my tastes, but there's always a level of fun to them that keeps me invested. :)
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 39: Izanagi's Burden

Post by Trackman281 »

Absolutely. :) I think it's very interesting to give layers to the different characters - show that the heroes aren't all good, and the villains aren't truly bad. I try to add this aspect in my own stories as well.
Of course and let me tell you for a fact that I think you do a fantastic job with this in your stories too, it is as I've said to Rufus in the past, when these sort of scenes happen in both yours and Rufus stories, it does give me inspiration to try my hand at it myself, because whilst I naturally love the USB scenes themselves in your stories, I do also really enjoy the plot heavy moments and the scenes that make me sit back and think about the morality of the situations the characters are in, they are some of the highlights of reading your worlds, it's great! :D
Tina use her ventriloquist disguise later in the story as well - perhaps put on an onstage act. Alas... :lol:
It's annoying, because originally, this WAS going to be the case, I was going to make Tina be forced to go out on stage and just perform one of the most embarrassing ventriloquist acts you would have seen, god it would have been awful and the jokes would of been out of this world in terms of cringe haha. :lol: Again though, I did just have to cut it, purely due to spacing, I thought that the USB scenes themselves would have been too few and far between the plot heavy moments.....But, this does not mean I have abandoned it all together, oh no, no far from it. I still have that circus idea in mind I still want to use at some point, so I'm going to find a way to squeeze it into there (somehow). Plus ever since you gave me that idea of having Stasis replacing a tight rope walker whilst taking a jab at her by saying "let me show you the TIGHT ropes." I've been clawing at the bits to write it haha. :lol:
The comedic moments are always welcome. And I think they contrasted nicely with some of the more serious moments in the chapter, like the Ulla scenes. This sort of contrast is a good way to show the different types of characters and perspectives in your stories. Sometimes the stories can get a little too dark for my tastes, but there's always a level of fun to them that keeps me invested. :)
As I've actually said to Rufus in the past. I really enjoy writing comedic moments, but believe it or not, for me, that's actually one of the biggest challenges I face. Now I'm not saying I don't know comedy, ;) I'm just saying for me, it's hard to put into words, so whilst it maybe difficult, I will always try to add in a terrible pun or two, or maybe scatter around some god awful jokes here and there, purely because I know that you like them. :D I do also know that at times my stories can certainly venture towards the more darker side of things, but I just find serious and tragic characters easier to write, I have no idea why, I just do haha :lol: . I will always try my best to be careful just how dark things get, but sometimes I can get a bit carried away, especially when I get into the "zone", so to speak. :D
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