Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Warning: This is the third post. Be sure to read the first two posts beforehand.



















Epilogue:

**************

By that point, Mag knew pretty well the layout of Heartfelt City’s prison.

Currently, she was standing at some distance of the building complex, near the visitor’s entrance. She was searching for a way to infiltrate the place.

Hidden in an inside pocket of her jacket, there was the gun she bought in secret. This time, it was loaded with real bullets.

I’m sorry Tina.

She saw some movement at the entrance. An opportunity to disguise herself?

It was a girl – around ten or eleven years old – and a man.

No. Not an opportunity.



...

Wait! The girl’s face… It looks like-


The two persons were approaching her position.

“Why doesn’t mom want to see us?” the girl was complaining.

Her physical appearance was a clear giveaway of WHO her mother was. She had Sarah’s oval-shaped face, prominent ears, and crooked nose. Her hair were a mixture of red, her mother’s hair colour, and brown, her father’s.

The father grimaced. “Things are complicated...”

“I don’t care if things are complicated! I want my mother!” the kid shouted.

Mag stepped inside an alleyway and hid in the shadows to prevent the duo from seeing her. She watched them leave, and waited until they were out of earsight.

Luckily, they didn’t notice her.

Mag was once more alone.

The clone shook her head. The gun in her pocket was suddenly very heavy. She was feeling wrong, and a little nauseous.

“What am I doing here?” she muttered to herself. “This was a mistake… a STUPID mistake...”

She walked away…

… and almost bumped into a woman after turning across a corner.

“Tina?!” Mag exclaimed.

Her sister smiled. “You think I would have left you infiltrate a prison without any backup? Without being around to help you if things went south?”

Mag blinked. “Why didn’t you try to stop me? You knew what I would have done, had I entered the building…”

“But you didn’t do it.” Tina put her hands on her sister’s shoulders and embraced her. “Mag, there are no words to express how relieved I am right now. I was afraid I’d lose you…”

“I don’t think these wardens could have caught me, sis’”

Tina shook her head. “I was afraid I’d lose you TO YOURSELF.”

Mag held back a few tears and returned her sister’s hug. “Why is surviving so hard for us? It’s unfair! It shouldn’t be that hard!”

“I know. But as long as we’re together, we can face off any threat… We can protect our family... Now come, our sisters are waiting for us! Stasis wants to try this dish called ‘raclette’. I heard it involves lots of cheese and lots of charcuterie.”

Mag couldn’t help but smile. “A balanced meal in perspective then…”

The two sisters rushed to regroup with their family and to share a joyful moment with them.

**************

Sarah realized too late that she had sinned by overconfidence when she engaged all her forces in the battle. With the White Masks, Leonie, Suzie, and Catherine arrested, all her remaining active followers were out of commission.

However, the Leader wasn’t going to give up so easily.

She could still find a way…

She suddenly heard a voice. “Time for your meal.” Ingrid said.

When the blond warden approached her cell, Sarah thought she had an opportunity.

“Ingrid! You were mugged by these women too? You have to help me!”

Ingrid glared daggers at her. “How dare you ask me that?! Who do you think I am?! Evans?!”

“But these criminals-”

The blond warden interrupted the Leader. “In my book, you’re no better than them. You’re a criminal, just like them.”

Sarah became bright red with anger. “How dare you compare me to these women!”

Ingrid’s furious stare silenced her. “How do you call a woman who substitutes herself to the justice system? A woman who thinks she can be judge, jury, and executioner? A woman who tricks others into doing her dirty work?!” Sarah took a few steps back, scared by the warden’s anger. Ingrid kept talking: “Leonie is my friend! And because of you, her career and her life are ruined! You manipulated her! I will never forgive you for that!”

Her answer left Sarah dumbfounded.

“But-”

“And if you think of rallying other wardens, think again. I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to corrupt anyone else. Both the administration of the prison and the one of the police didn’t like the fact that some of their elements were swayed by you. They’ll take steps to prevent you from doing it again. And I’ll help them.”

The blond warden left without giving Sarah the opportunity to answer.

The redhead blinked.

Then, she did what she did best. She ignored the epiphany.

Bah! Who needs her? I can still use my influence on the Internet to crush the infiltrators...

**************

However, Sarah forgot one major detail.

With Leonie out of the picture, she didn’t have an easy access to a cellphone or to Internet anymore. Some other wardens were sympathetic to her cause, but not to the point of risking their jobs and their liberty to help her. Plus, Ingrid and their superiors were preventing her from contacting them.

With Willow out of the picture, nobody was left to protect her social accounts.

In the days following the White Masks’ arrest, Sarah’s social accounts were hacked.

The two hackers took control of the accounts, and started to leak compromising information about Sarah.

About her practices of a cult leader.

And, most notably, about her plans to use Shannon to hurt her mother. The hackers had posted pictures, that the sisters probably took when they infiltrated Sarah’s last gathering before her second arrest. The hackers were of course masking the girl’s face, but the reveal that Sarah would hurt an innocent child caused an outrage.

Ultimately, Sarah forgot about one important rule. Public opinion was fickle. VERY fickle, especially on the Internet.

The Leader tried as hard as she could, but she wasn’t able to take control again of her accounts. When she tried to create others, they were instantly hacked.

Without any mercy, the hackers destroyed Sarah’s reputation on social medias by posting insulting and contradictory messages while using her name. Stuck in her cell, under the watch of the incorruptible Ingrid, the redhead helplessly witnessed her plan crumble.

In a few days, the Leader’s reputation was in pieces. Her credibility was destroyed.

Sarah had lost.

Her Internet followers turned out to be just that. Internet followers. Most of them didn’t feel particularly loyal towards her, and they were quick to turn on her.

Sarah was alone.

However...

However, the Leader thought that one good thing was coming out of this debacle.

At least now, maybe finally, Simon and Carrie would stop trying to see her…

The Leader let out a long sigh.

The redhead closed her eyes.

Finally, she would feel peace.

A voice interrupted her thoughts. “A letter for you.”

It was Ingrid. The woman’s face was neutral.

Sarah grabbed the envelope. She froze when she recognized the writing. Anxiously, she opened the envelope and read the letter.

It was from Simon.

Sarah’s body started to shake.

“Why… Why do they keep insisting? Why do they still want to see me?”

She let go of the envelope.

Ingrid sighed, looked at her with pity, and left her alone.

“Why aren’t they giving up on me? I don’t understand…” Sarah exclaimed. “Why do they still love me?! WHY?!”

The Leader curled up and burst into tears.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND!”

**************

“Well. Look at how the mighty have fallen…”

Sarah was sitting on her bed, curled up, her knees pressed against her chest. She was holding a sheet of paper in her hands.

Jetset shook her head and scoffed.

“I was sent by my Prophet. She wanted to offer you a second chance to work with us. But seeing the human wreck you’ve become… I don’t think it’s worth it.”

The Leader didn’t answer. She didn’t even move.

Jetset smiled. She was feeling satisfied. “To think that you looked down upon us. And now look at you! I warned you that your overconfidence would lead to your defeat. You were a fool to reject our alliance.”

Still no answer. Still no movement.

“Don’t worry. We will succeed where you failed. We will do what you couldn’t do.” the Phantom concluded with a scornful smile, relishing the irony of her last sentences.

Jetset left.

Sarah didn’t notice her departure. In fact, she hadn’t even noticed the woman’s arrival.

She was still looking at the letter. She was still analyzing every word.

“I don’t understand…” Sarah muttered to herself. “I don’t understand… I don’t understand… I don’t understand...”

The Leader’s world was now reduced to this sheet of paper.

****************

In an interrogation room of Heartfelt City’s prison, another meeting was ending.

The first woman was Ellie, a recently arrested White Mask waiting for her trial. The second woman was a Phantom, who gave a generous bribe to allow this meeting to take place.

“We thank you for your cooperation, Ellie. With the information you gave us, we will be able to better plan our next attacks against infiltrators, especially against the Alpha Prey and the ‘Team of Sisters’. I think we could now even be able to pinpoint the location of their hideout.”

“The pleasure was all mine.” the chubby ice cream vendor answered.

“However, I must apologize. We won’t be able to break you out. It would require an infiltration, and I’m sure that by now you understand how much we loathe that tactic.

Ellie nodded. “I understand completely. I prefer to stay with my friends anyway. The best reward will be to know that you’ll keep on eliminating all the infiltrators.”

Now, Ellie was the cutest and most unassuming member of the White Masks. However, ironically, she was also the most bitter. The most hate-filled.

The ice cream vendor never forgot the horrible experience of being locked inside a closet. She never forgot how she stewed for hours in her own sweat. She never forgot the cramps. She never forgot the slow asphyxiation.

Most importantly, she never forgot that, for her mugger, it was a game. A way to assert her superiority. A mere power trip. Ellie’s agonizing hours of fear and pain happened so that a woman could get her brief adrenaline rush…

Ellie never forgot. And she never forgave either.

The White Masks failed, but the Phantoms would be her revenge.

**************

THE END
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by Trackman281 »

I wasn't expecting the final part to be up so soon. A welcomed surprise indeed. 8-)

Great opening and I'm curious to see where this is heading now that Sarah seems to be playing her hand too. 8-)

So the white masks are getting ready to play their hand too, wow this is going to be one hell of a confrontation isn't it. Okay then, here we go! :D

Indeed, the cupid of Heartfelt strikes again haha! :lol: In all seriousness though, that whole scene with Amelia and Nera was very cute and very sexy, it's no surprise then Libido got all lovey when she saw the two married women and of course the first thing she wanted to do was give them a crotch bond each to spice up their love life, that is definitely what Libido would do, nicely done! :D

Loved the beginning bit with this next scene as you did a great job showing just what the sisters are doing whilst Tinker and Soph search the data banks and naturally Libido would be more focused on the women in tights in the workout video wouldn't she haha. :D HAHAHA! Okay, you made me laugh with Tinker's "gasp", well played and nice job with BB and her love for chess, it's the little things, it really is and your doing a fantastic job at showcasing all of this. :D

there's the line that made me raise my eyebrows, the bit where Mag said about Angel and Stasis returning from the grocery store, oh boy, I have a strange feeling like I know what's about to happen to next, let's find out. :D 8-)

WOW! Nervous scene their indeed. Damn this is getting very intense now! :shock: Also I absolutely loved Stasis puns, glad to see her back in the saddle haha, also I actually really enjoyed that sweet moment with Angel and Stasis, Angel of course trying to show her sisters how sorry she is and of course Stasis just giving her a lollipop in return haha, marvelous. :lol: :D ............So now they recognize them as the night angels too, things are really heating up now. Onward! :D

Amazing scene to follow up with as well, Tinker's immediate sense of dread over the situation, Marie using her medical skills to calm down quickly and calmly and of course Tina forever being the strong headed and confident leader that she is. This was a great scene to show the sister's personalities of how they handle stressful situations and I thought it was great, honestly fantastic work! :D

Amazing exchange of views there between Angel and Louette, I was wondering what would happen if these two ever got in the same room together and had a one on one chat. Well now we know. 8-)

Whoe damn, I can see why you really only ever gave us snippets of Willoe before her big scene with Angel, she's cold, calculating, but her actions are indeed understandable given the circumstances......Yet as with most people, they always aim it at the wrong people, willl the sisters ever catch a break in their world. :D

Hahaha, I see Hailey has returned for a second stripping, well in all fairness, she was extremely bored, so who knows, but I somehow doubt she had this in mind. :lol: Brilliant work using Marie to trick Hailey with the old "can you sign for this please" technique while she secretly double clicks her knock out pen, that's what I liked about Marie's gadget, because it's disguised as an everyday use item, it can be quite the deceiving tool. :D

Oh no, I believe that the sister's tactic here worked flawlessly and I'd never accuse them of being unoriginal, I mean it is as the narration said, this was close to perfection and I second that. :D ;)

That was a truly great scene which followed as well, I really enjoyed the use of an empty crate as a way to get Magda out of their without raising any suspicion, everything was utilized perfectly, especially the disguises, this was a very enjoyable scene, plus you are right, Tina wouldn't have to chose the whole abduction routine if she really didn't have to, but she knows that in this case, there is an exception. :D

Another very interesting scene to follow here too, firstly, why am I not surprised that Stasis is tormenting Ellie with bad jokes haha! :lol: Secondly, Cassie herself is becoming more and more interesting as this is going by, just like the other white masks she of course IS already interesting anyway, but over her past couple of scene including this one, she's got be me squinting and wondering.......Is this her FULL redemption too?.......I must read on. :D

Damn, this is just one epic scene after the other here! God damn, you are throwing everything out and I'm loving it! Okay so Libido wanting to use her a whip as a "real" whip against Magda is fine in this scene because she is concerned for her sisters safety so this is very natural. Soph of course wanting to give Magda a black eye is all very genuine and definitely the sort of thing Soph would do. But it's the scene with Tina that I'm paying veyr close attention too. So she's using her hypnotic dart of Magda is she. I can't wait to see how this goes. :D

Well, once again, amazing work with the next scene too, damn this is going to a hell of a showdown isn't it, you really know how to build up suspense and I already know, I'm going to absolutely love it. :D

I enjoyed the scene with the sisters formulating their plan of attack, I see Blink is going to be getting back in on the action, which has me even more excited about what is going to happen and thank you very much for that nice little call back there, where Blink made out with Libido as a way to thank her for the fact that Libido did get Blink escape from the police station after their first encounter with Evans......Aaaahhh, I love it. Nicely done! :D :D

Great way to build suspense going into the second part, okay, let's read on. 8-)

Another neat little cameo there from Zoe, Gillian and of course Edwige. Good grief these three women just stand still for a minute will they, even though I'm certain, Zoe wouldn't mind a break haha. :lol:

Allow to give you a massive round of applause and a massive congratulations as well on the next scene with Soph beating up Karen and Lissa. There are two main reasons here and I'll point both out.....Firstly, the whole bit with Soph clicking the latch on the door so it says "occupied" while she gets her disguise, is a massive call back to the previous times she done's this, it's just one of her things, so I thank you whole heartily for including that.....Second, honestly, to my mind I don't believe I've ever seen a surfer getting mugged for her wetsuits, we've seen scuba women yes, but never surfer women. Honestly, well done for discovering a new disguise option! :D :D

Damn! The next scene with Valerie and Violette was so hot, that it's highly advice-able to wear sun cream when viewing this scene and it's incredibly hot (terrible joke). 8-)

Honestly though, damn that was very sexy scene indeed, but yes, you actually wrote Libido's character wonderfully here, now if this was any other day, Libido would have been all over these two naked love birds, she probably would have even left them tied up in very, very, shall we "XXX" position so they can really feel each other when they wake up.......BUT......Libido is genuinely fearful over Angel's and Stasis's safety, hence why she didn't really pay attention this time, have no fear though, more opportunities will present itself in the future, I'm almost certain of it. :D

A very well written and incredible scene featuring Blink in the next scene, plus I really liked the whole magician trick of revealing the flowers but they also acted as a double trick as they release quick and effective knock out gas. Honestly, nod my head in approval and say "outstanding work!" As this was fantastic, I also liked the little Ravens mention there as well. The Easter eggs and little references you leave in these chapters are fun to find. :D

I really enjoyed the scene with Marie and Soph taking down Suzie and Catherine, their initial approach was like a spec ops team insertion, similar to some games I've played in the past. Very well done, these sisters will never forget their training, that's for sure. :D

Nice! A good old drone battle between both sides tech experts, that was a very cool scene and a great surprise to behold. Well done, it was really cool! :D 8-)

That's a really cool scene too between Cassie and Angel, Angel's love for Stasis is absolutely spot on and all of her lines here are fantastic, I can really feel the weight of everything piling up now for both parties, it's SO good! :D

The first part of this fight scene between Soph and Louette is just awesome! I like a good old fight scene with the heroines and the villainesses, so this entire part had me with a big smile on my face. :D

Dear, dear, poor Leonie, fallen victim to her own mouth yet again, haha. :lol:

Cassie's scene with Angel is a very heartwarming one and I really like the brief conversation they both had, who knows, maybe I was wrong with what I said earlier, maybe some people might actually see the sisters for the good they are actually doing one day. :D

While the fight scene between Blink and Ellie was very enjoyable and I absolutely loved it, the bit I actually want to talk about is Ellie saying of how she couldn't do something like put poison on the ice cream she served Blink, just in case Shannon wanted to take a bite out of it as that would have poisoned her too. While to some it may some seem like much, but to me, it really shows the moral grey area that the white masks operate under, it's the small little details like that in stories that really drive the point home with some characters and this was one of those moments. Excellent work. :D

“A royally pissed-off woman."............Mmmm, that's my Soph. One tough bad arse! 8-)

All in all, I loved the scene here, the fight with Louette and Soph was just so awesome, two warriors going at each other like that, absolutely amazing and of course, the tension is immediately broken (somewhat) as Marie offers her assistance so at least Louette's hand will heal again. Marie is a medic after all and she believes in saving lives, not taking them, she believes in healing people, not hurting them, hence why YES, Marie does know hand to hand combat, of course she does being a trooper and all, she prefers to use things like her pen, sleeper holds and neck chops rather than full blown assaults. :D I think you capture both Marie's and Soph's characteristics and personalities perfectly here, brilliant work. :D

A very nice quick and effective takedown their from Angel. Now it's good that Angel keeps her fighting styles, because yes, she has renounced her old life as "Demon", let us not forget that ever since her birth, alongside the rest of her sisters, they spent so many years of their life practicing in hand to hand combat, so these things will probably be with Angel for her whole life. Nicely done in emphasizing this. :D

Nice rescue scene there with Libido and Mag, very well executed and if I'm being honest, I did chuckle a bit at Libido's little comment there. :D :lol:

Okay so there's a LOT to get through on this scene, as some might not see this, but I do, I see everything with this scene and I need to explain why I think it's so AWESOME! :D

1. Indeed Angel and the rest of her sister's spent the first eighteen years of their lives, training so they would be ultimately become the "perfect" infiltrators, since then of course Angel has had an additional decade worth of sharp shooting and uses of other firearms, now yes this allows her to be a perfect shot with her firearms, it's a nice throwback to their time when they were growing up and working for the "company" so it's a very nice scene here.

2. Nice to see Reality getting a big shout out, indeed Reality really was THEE turning point in Angel's life which made her want to give up her old life as Demon and change her name to "Angel", now ultimately this came with a price as unfortunately Reality did not survive their encounter and she was killed, but she has been the last one Angel has ever killed (as she was still technically Demon then), but since then, she's only ever done the right thing and she'll never kill again. :D

3. The overall scene with Willow and Angel was a wonderfully written scene, it truly featured some of the best parts of this chapter, Angel's acceptance of everything, Willow's eventual second mindset (hhmm maybe ?) and of course, the sisters all reuniting once more, which of course is always celebrated with a group hug, plus that little comment there of Stasis being so proud of Angel, really just put the cherry on top for me. As I say, I think this was one of the best scene's of the whole chapter, it really put things into place. :D

It was interesting seeing all the white masks different reactions and interactions with each other as they were each getting put into the back of police cars, it was also nice to see Blink took Tina's advise and made sure that Ginny got discovered too and of course Tina and her sisters would naturally let the authorities know where they left all the other women that they've impersonated on this outing, I mean after all, it's one of the things that separates them from the.....Shall we say "bad" infiltrators. :D

I see Linda and Rebecca are getting a nice little cameo scene here, very nice indeed. :D 8-)

Before I move on to the third part of this amazing new installment, you once again gave us a massive scene with plenty of little nods here, so allow to explain again as to why I liked them all. :D

1. I liked the way the sister's had some little likes about the white masks, showing once again that they weren't evil, if anything they were misguided.

2. I liked Libido's little joke there. Good grief haha. :lol:

3. Blink's line is very sweet in this scene and it is true, she will always lend a hand whenever she can, I know she's always more than happy too, plus it was cool seeing her get in on the group hug, heck yeah! :D

4. Tina's line of it being them against the universe, is a line that all nine of the sisters use quite frequently, they've known that for a long time it has always just been them against the entire universe, which of course is why their bond as sisters is unbreakable and incredibly strong, their bond will never break and of course their love for each other is something that they all cherish the most. :D

5. Haha, I very much doubt Stasis will ever be smoking weed, I firmly believe / know that Stasis is smarter than that. :lol: ;)

Okay then, part three here we go, I'm curious to see what was on Mag's mind now and what's going to happen next.

Damn, see that was a very nice and sweet scene here with Mag and Tina. I must admit, I was wondering what was going to happen with Mag's idea want to end Sarah for good, but I am overjoyed to see that she didn't go through with it, it is as Tina said, that would have been a dark path for Mag to go down and I too am relieved that at the end of it all, she still didn't go through with it. Overall a touching scene between Mag and Tina. Amazing work! :D

I must admit, it was pretty cool seeing Ingrid have her own "hardcore" moment per say. Ingrid is certainly a tough cookie when she wants to be, putting Sarah in her place like that and making sure it never happens again, she's kind of awesome. :D

WOW! That was actually a series of very interesting scene's here with Sarah, I was originally going to write a bit about each of them individually but I was just curious to know where it was all leading too. :geek: First of all, it really doesn't surprise me at all that "Jetset" had to come back just to gloat over Sarah's downfall, but then again this is typical Jetset behavior as I bet underneath, she was probably hoping that the white masks would fail just so Jetset could take sheer pleasure in rubbing it in Sarah's face, because after all, turning down an invitation from the Prophet herself, is in Jetset's mind, the biggest insult one could give to the Phantoms. :D

Secondly, watching Sarah's descent into madness, or realization, retribution, demise, rebirth (damn I just can't put my finger on it), was all of the feelings rolled into one. It was unnerving, it was tense, it was actually joyful in places, it was disturbing (in a good way), it was interesting, it was enjoyable and it was just an a great series of scenes. I found this entire part to be really fascinating. :D

Goodness gracious the ending ending scene was certainly a surprise to say the least. :shock: ...........Ellie's want of the Phantom's to succeed in an interesting plot, now the phantoms are incredibly wealthy and very resourceful.....Ellie, might want to keep her seat warm, because while eys, she wants to stay with her friends, of course she does, if her information proves fruitful, they who knows.......Maybe......A certain "Prophet", might just come down and pay Ellie a visit at some point, who knows eh. ;)

Well, here we are at the end of this absolutely gripping, unforgettable, USB filled and truly amazing chapter. Before I start with my usual shower of praises and compliments, I do just want to say, thank you very much for writing this chapter as it has been an absolute blast to read through, I know their were a couple of setbacks for you, but this has all paid off in the long run, I am extremely pleased with how you have handled the sisters and their universe and I can not give you enough thanks. :D


And that's just it you see. Your constant use of the sister's lore, history, rogue's gallery, the settings, the gadgets and everything else was just spot on. I honestly, could not be any more happy with how well you've written this, I can honestly say that I can tell that you've worked incredibly hard at this and I can also tell that your memory of the sister's world and their history is truly phenomenal and it is incredibly heart warming for me as I know that you really do study and observe everything the sisters and their world has to offer. Your writing style is fantastic, your USB scenes as a whole are incredibly sexy and very enjoyable, plus you manged to create not one....But TWO brand new outfits to be used in USB scenes and that in itself it certainly worthy of a mention. :D

I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but I don't care haha. Your handling of all nine of the sisters were perfect, now I know you said you were struggling a bit here and I know, believe me, I do know how challenging it can be to include all nine sisters in one scene and give them all enough lines, so I hope you feel pleased here, because I think you did a fantastic job. All nine of the sister's personalities were spot on, they were all 100% correct, you did a fantastic job and I can safely say that you really did do them all justice. :D This was an absolute delight to read through and you know that the door to their world will always be open to you, all you have to do is ask. :D I appreciated every single scene, I appreciated every single nod to all of the sisters quirks, characteristics and personalities, I appreciated how you handled them and I appreciated how well you captured their love for each other, because that is of course of thee most important parts. :D

Once again, you've done an outstanding job here and I truly can not thank you enough for staying so true to everything that makes them the "sisters". On top of that I also can't express just how grateful I am for you wanting to write another adventure featuring the sisters and their world, it's truly something special, thank you again! :D

So.....Where do the sister's go from here.......Looks like we'll have to wait and see.......Although something tells me, we won't be waiting for too long, because as it always is with Heartfelt City......The next villainess is always just a stone throw away. ;)
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by meditions142 »

Great addition to the ongoing saga!

My personal favorite part was the return of lovely young Hailey. Always love a guard takeout that starts with the "bored guard".

As Trackman noted, the trick of asking the victim to sign something then taking her out is perfect.

The "not again" comment is fantastic. And I love the image of Hailey just falling forward into Marie's waiting arms.

Keep the great stories coming!
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Trackman:

I admit, I myself didn't think I'd be able to post the last part this week, but a little afternoon of intensive proof-reading allowed me to more or less finish it. I guess I could have re-read one final time some of the parts at the end, but since I wanted to post it as soon as possible.

I wanted to add a little running gag of Libido's status as Heartfelt City's cupid. Nera's and Amelie's scene was a late addition, a way to have a small transition scene after the beginning that shows the antagonists setting up their plan, a way to make the small ellipsis less abrupt.

As always, I try to write scenes of the sisters doing mundane things from time to time... One of the things I try to replicate from your style.

It's a detail, but I really liked the exchange between Stasis and Angel, with the former showing her care for her sister by shoving a lollipop into her mouth as a way to show her they're cool. I wrote before that I don't want to overdo things when it comes to the sisters' interactions, for instance by having them hug all the time, so I was happy to come up with something different... and a very 'Stasis' thing to do!

Stasis' puns were hard to feature in this story, given how drama-heavy it was most of the time. I couldn't have Stasis make puns while BB was hurt and recovering for instance. I figured out it would be a perfect moment to have a few in a row: when she thought she was in control, right before the real climax begins.

You've really well-defined the personalities of the sisters, so honestly writing them is easy.

Of course I would have Angel and the White Masks discuss their ideologies at some point. The entire point of the story was to feature these scenes. Well, that and lots of uniform stealings of course...

Willow was an antagonist I liked writing. In general, the White Masks felt like the kind of morally grey antagonists I wanted to do with Sarah - as if Sarah was the draft and they were the final version.

Hailey joins the long list of returning sentries. I'm sure she's delighted... :lol: Honestly, Marie's pen is in my opinion the best tool in the sisters' arsenal - at least, from a narrative point of view, as it's very easy to feature it in a scene.

I wanted the White Masks to be a group of distinct women, each with their own personality, NOT bland interchangeable grunts with a hive mind. As a result, they needed to have varying points of view about what they were doing - and while Cassie didn't play a role as important as the one I initially had in store for her, I was glad to be able to feature her little 'redemption' arc.

Honestly, while I love the sisters for their deep kindness, I can't resist the temptation to put them in situations where their moral code is put to the test. The White Masks have attempted to kill them, have captured their sisters, and Magda is taunting them, so of course they'd be tempted to make an exception to their rule. The fact that they don't shows that they are good persons. The question is, will they always be able to stay true to their code?

After using Blink as the 'damsel in distress', I think I owed her a scene during which she would help the sisters take the offensive! ;) The little continuity nod with Libido was the icing on the cake.

Zoe, Gillian, and Edwige did cameo a lot recently... WITHOUT losing their clothes I mean. I wonder if this means something... :P Maybe third time will be the charm for them? Though I'm sure that they are hoping otherwise... :lol:

Karen and Lissa had it a little harder compared to other 'innocent bystanders', though all things considered a neck-chop (or a stomach punch and a neck chop in the case of Karen) is still rather subdued. (The idea of a neck-chop always sounds sexy in my ears.) Soph would logically still use hand-to-hand combat techniques. Lissa was knocked out by Marie. I figured out that while she renounces her soldier life to be an infiltrator, she wouldn't mind using a tactic such as a neck-chop from behind, even though it's hand-to-hand combat. After all, the neck chop is the technique of an infiltrator... (Though I admit, it was also to have more variety - her pen is already used so many times. ;) )

Wetsuits are indeed a rarity on this board, so between Karen and Lissa and Violette and Valerie, I was glad to have an excuse to feature four in a row.

I was aiming for a 'hot' scene indeed with Valerie and Violette, though it was also a good way to showcase Libido's love for her sisters. I'm not a huge fan of nudity, but I appreciate adding it from time to time. However, I trust you. I'm sure that she will have other opportunities to help couples of love birds 'spicing things up' in their relationship. ;)

A little ironic that Blink used a little magician trick to deal with a red-haired woman called Ginny... Coincidence? I think not!

Suzie's and Catherine's descriptions are actually inspired from the appearances of random Delmos of Agent Aika, so it's only logical that their takedown has a more 'spy/special ops infiltration' feel.

Poor Leonie indeed. She was the victim of my need to have a funnier scene in the middle of the fight. :lol:

The final part of the story was only made of action scenes, so I tried to have something a little original by adding armed drones into the mix.

I felt like Libido was criminally underused in that story, hence why she gets two scenes during which she mugs and a badass heroic moment of her rescuing Tina in this part. :lol:

Soph's and Louette's fight was a part I was looking forward to write, especially because I really liked their dialogues. I figured out that Marie wouldn't be the kind of woman who would let someone else suffer if she can avoid it, unless she's truly irredeemable. And of course she would try to help her sister... but while she's a decent opponent, Louette clearly wasn't on the same level as Soph on equal terms.

Even though she's the most hate-filled of her group, I wanted Ellie to be morally grey. The White Masks have their own code of honour, even she wouldn't harm a child. Plus, the scene of her calling out Blink (and infiltrators in general) to say that their actions have consequences was something I wanted to write for a long time. In hindsight, I should have insisted more on tha point, but it would have felt weird to have them debate at that moment. :lol: Maybe later?

I thought that it was logical that Angel wouldn't be able to forget easily about her training, or some would say conditioning. But her character development shines through here: wether it's during her fight with Samirah or when she shoots Willow, she can use her training while staying true to her new personality.

The confrontation between Willow and Angel was one of the key moments of the story. I wanted it to be a highlight of the character development you gave her: a way to show that she has found balance in her life. While other stories don't dwell on it too much, I thought it was logical that Angel would have feeling of self-disgust and would think that her life wouldn't matter much, to the point that she may think that dying would be her penance. But she's reminded that it's more important to live for her family and with her family, and that ultimately if she dies, she won't be able to do good things around her anymore. She knows she can't be forgiven for what she did, but that's not a reason to stop trying to make the world a better place. The references to Reality were important, as her confrontation with Willow was conceived as a call-back to her fight with Reality. Except that this time, thanks to her character development, she's able to avoid having to kill her foe. I thought it was a nice detail to show how much she's grown

It's true that several moments are here to point out that the White Masks are more misguided than truly 'evil'. It was a hard balance to maintain: I wanted them to be sympathetic to some extent, but not too much (after all, they are targeting the sisters even though there are far worst people out there). While the ending is mostly positive, with Angel's character development and the sisters being assured by Blink that they are not alone anymore, I wanted the defeat of the White Masks to feel a little more bittersweet, to convey the idea that it was a waste that these women chose a wrong path for the right reasons - hence the reactions of the sisters. Now to the question of how the White Masks would evolve... Well, Angel's words did have some impact on Willow, and Louette can't help but respect the fact that the sisters bested her, and as for Cassie she was never a true villain to begin with. I guess that if they one day return, depending on the story and the antagonist the sisters have to face, the White Masks may not necessarily be clear-cut antagonists... But that will depend on you! :lol:

Linda and Rebecca did get their cameo. I think that they are the minor characters that have the most cameo appearances. :lol:

I'm a little relieved that you appreciated the heartwarming moments between the sisters and Blink after Angel's and Stasis' rescue. I'll admit that, after writing several moments of 'sisterly love' in the previous parts, I actually felt uninspired for this one! I had used all my ideas during the previous moments! Hence why part of it is summed up with an indirect discourse instead of dialogues.

The line of the sisters feeling that it's them against the universe was copy-pasted straight from one of your comments. ;) Though I added the twist of Blink reminding them that they are not alone anymore. They maybe haven't many friends, but the ones they have are loyal ones!

I did tease you quite a bit with a potential 'turn to the Dark Side' for Mag, didn't I? ;) Though I admit that I knew from the beginning that she would choose the 'good' outcome.

Ingrid joins the rank of the women that were originally supposed to be just one-time victims of the week, and who were brought back to receive some character spotlight.

Ah! Sarah's defeat! One of the first parts of the story I wrote, I was impatient to show it. ;) Sarah is so self-righteous, that it was very satisfying to have a uniformed woman spell out to her that she's not a heroine at all.
A villain needs a good defeat, and Sarah's utter humiliation was a way to showcase that she was defeated. A way to conclude her story arc.
I really like the fact that, ultimately, Sarah's partly responsible of her own downfall. She descends into madness not because of the sisters but because of her own contradictions. It's an important part of this character: she has chosen a self-destructive path, but is too stubborn and bitter to admit it. Maybe she'll able to change... or maybe she's lost forever. I'll leave it ambiguous.

The end scene with Ellie was my way to contribute to the build-up of the Phantoms' return. ;) A free bit of foreshadowing to make their return more impactful. Now, Ellie is the most bitter and hate-filled of the White Masks, so she'd probably the only one who may be tempted to join the Phantoms... Who knows indeed how things would turn out if a Prophet paid her a visit...
Before I start with my usual shower of praises and compliments, I do just want to say, thank you very much for writing this chapter as it has been an absolute blast to read through, I know their were a couple of setbacks for you, but this has all paid off in the long run, I am extremely pleased with how you have handled the sisters and their universe and I can not give you enough thanks.
You're welcome. I also thank you for allowing me to do it. Indeed, I am quite satisfied with the result. Since it'll maybe be the last time I try writing a story in your universe, I wanted it to be a little memorable and to feature the characters having a clear-cut victory. I don't think there'll be a Chronicles of Heartfelt City 3, at least not in the near future, since I don't really have much more ideas. :P At least for now. :P

Your compliments at the end go straight to my heart. ;) As I said before writing your characters is a pleasure, and I really appreciate it because it allows me to feature themes that I'd have a hard time featuring in my stories. Since the sisters have all a clearly defined personality, it's very easy to write them, and they are also complex enough for it to be interesting.
So.....Where do the sister's go from here.......Looks like we'll have to wait and see.......Although something tells me, we won't be waiting for too long, because as it always is with Heartfelt City......The next villainess is always just a stone throw away. ;)
I can hardly wait! ;)

Meditions: Thanks! Having such a wide cast of 'recurring sentries' allows for funny situations when they have to react to the fact that they're mugged a second time. Glad you enjoyed her little contribution. I'll try to keep the stories coming, though it'll probably be at a much slower pace.
Last edited by rufusluciusivan on Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by Trackman281 »

It's a detail, but I really liked the exchange between Stasis and Angel, with the former showing her care for her sister by shoving a lollipop into her mouth as a way to show her they're cool. I wrote before that I don't want to overdo things when it comes to the sisters' interactions, for instance by having them hug all the time, so I was happy to come up with something different... and a very 'Stasis' thing to do!
Indeed, that is Stasis well, as I always say........Being Stasis. :P
The question is, will they always be able to stay true to their code?
Yes, the sisters will always be able to stay true to their code, but there are "others"......Who, if pushed hard enough, might just break their own moral codes, I'm not talking about the sisters (obviously)......So who knows, guess we will just have to wait and see. ;)
Zoe, Gillian, and Edwige did cameo a lot recently... WITHOUT losing their clothes I mean. I wonder if this means something... :P Maybe third time will be the charm for them? Though I'm sure that they are hoping otherwise... :lol:
Why do I get the feeling like we've just jinxed it now and the next time we see these three lovely ladies, things won't be going so smoothly haha! :lol: .......I mean maybe........But then again, maybe not. ;)
I figured out that while she renounces her soldier life to be an infiltrator, she wouldn't mind using a tactic such as a neck-chop from behind, even though it's hand-to-hand combat. After all, the neck chop is the technique of an infiltrator... (Though I admit, it was also to have more variety - her pen is already used so many times. ;) )
Actually, as you know, Marie is still fully capable of using hand to hand knock out tactics, for instance we have seen her in many previous chapters using things like....Nerve pinches, neck chops, sleeper holds and even chloroform soaked rags. I just think Marie uses her pen quite often, purely for convenience and the fact that it itself, is great as guards wouldn't expect a pen of all things to suddenly knock them out. :D

Libido will always make an excuse to be the one to tie up women together, especially when their a couple. So now that Libido's sisters are safe and sound and the white masks campaign has been stopped. I have a strange feeling that next time we see Libido, she's going to be very keen on making up for lost time........Oh, the bondage positions she has in mind for some of her victims, I mean after all she's a lover not a fighter. :D

Marie would never let someone suffer, for the sake of suffering. She's a medic and she enjoys helping people, not hurting them. Now yes, Marie is fully capable of handling herself in one on one fights as she is a fully trained soldier after all, she just prefers to knock out her opponents, stealthy and quietly, this way, she causes them as little pain as possible. :D
Even though she's the most hate-filled of her group, I wanted Ellie to be morally grey. The White Masks have their own code of honour, even she wouldn't harm a child. Plus, the scene of her calling out Blink (and infiltrators in general) to say that their actions have consequences was something I wanted to write for a long time. In hindsight, I should have insisted more on tha point, but it would have felt weird to have them debate at that moment. :lol: Maybe later?


Maybe later indeed. ;) I don't think we've seen the last of Ellie......trust me! ;)
I thought that it was logical that Angel wouldn't be able to forget easily about her training, or some would say conditioning. But her character development shines through here: weather it's during her fight with Samirah or when she shoots Willow, she can use her training while staying true to her new personality.
Your absolutely right. Angel (just like the rest of her sisters), have been fully trained in multiple fighting styles specializing in both offensive and defensive techniques. Now as we all know, fighting styles don't necessarily involve killing your opponents do they, so Angel would just naturally use these types of fighting styles. :D

She has indeed. Angel has truly been a highlight for me in my more recent chapters. Her transition from Demon to Angel has been an absolute joy to write over these past few months and now seeing you write Angel's scenes here, honestly feels like the cherry on the cake with Angel's redemption. I reckon Angel might finally start to relax more as I reckon multiple weights have just been lifted off her shoulders. :D
Now to the question of how the White Masks would evolve... Well, Angel's words did have some impact on Willow, and Louette can't help but respect the fact that the sisters bested her, and as for Cassie she was never a true villain to begin with. I guess that if they one day return, depending on the story and the antagonist the sisters have to face, the White Masks may not necessarily be clear-cut antagonists... But that will depend on you! :lol:
Well then, I truly hope this part pleases you. :D..........I have plans for the white masks, I actually do as well. Naturally I can't reveal what these plans are, as it will spoil a load of upcoming content, but believe me, I do have future chapters I am going to write which will feature the white masks again. Especially Cassie. ;)
I'm a little relieved that you appreciated the heartwarming moments between the sisters and Blink after Angel's and Stasis' rescue.
Put your mind at rest. You did a great job, you really did! :D
The end scene with Ellie was my way to contribute to the build-up of the Phantoms' return. ;) A free bit of foreshadowing to make their return more impactful. Now, Ellie is the most bitter and hate-filled of the White Masks, so she'd probably the only one who may be tempted to join the Phantoms... Who knows indeed how things would turn out if a Prophet paid her a visit...
Oh their coming.......The phantoms......The company......Their all coming........A thick smog of war is looming on the horizon and of course.....Both sides WILL require trustful soldiers to fight for their sides......Plus with Jetset reporting in with Sarah's defeated and Ellie even requesting to meet the Phantoms themselves.....Hhhmm, something tells me the phantoms have noticed that Ellie, out of all the white masks seems to be the most "promising" of the bunch for the phantoms......Yeah, their going to want to speak to Ellie again at some point aren't they. ;)
You're welcome. I also thank you for allowing me to do it. Indeed, I am quite satisfied with the result. Since it'll maybe be the last time I try writing a story in your universe, I wanted it to be a little memorable and to feature the characters having a clear-cut victory. I don't think there'll be a Chronicles of Heartfelt City 3, at least not in the near future, since I don't really have much more ideas. :P At least for now. :P
If at some point in the future. Not even this year, but let's say in....Three years...Or even five years from now, you want to try and write the Sisters again. You know all you have to do is ask and I'll be more than happy to open the door to their world to you once more. :D 8-)

P.S I did notice as well that you said, you find neck chops as a whole kind of a sexy way for infiltrators to "relieve" a guard from her duties. Well let me just say that I absolutely agree with you, it is a sexy knock out tactic and now I know your a fan of it. I'll be sure to try and include plenty more scenes for you. :D
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by rufusluciusivan »

I have plans for the white masks, I actually do as well.
Interesting... I'll wait and see then. ;)
P.S I did notice as well that you said, you find neck chops as a whole kind of a sexy way for infiltrators to "relieve" a guard from her duties. Well let me just say that I absolutely agree with you, it is a sexy knock out tactic and now I know your a fan of it. I'll be sure to try and include plenty more scenes for you. :D
I am a fan of many of the ways infiltrators 'relieve' a guard from her duties. That's why I'm here! :lol:
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by Trackman281 »

Well if I'm being honest, I think the white masks as a whole are very interesting and I truly believe that they still have some stories that need telling and at the same time, because they provide such a variety of ideas and hopefully some interesting story possibilities, I really don't want them to fade away. :D

You've done such an excellent job with the white masks, that I want to keep them around for some more appearances in future chapters. :D

Plus there's still one or two more characters, I'm very keen on seeing them interact with. :D
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by tirepanted3 »

A long and detailed final chapter, and a satisfying conclusion overall. As someone trying to wrap up a story of my own this week, this is good encouragement to get it right. :)

As with previous chapters, you do a great job highlighting the familial bonds between the sisters. This includes highlighting their different personalities and motivations, their differing approaches, and their various crime-fighting philosophies. Also some great contrasting personas between the members of the White Masks. Highlights the moral conflict, and thus the suspense.

The USB scenes were top-notch as ever. I enjoyed the scene with Hailey and the deliverywomen - particularly little details, like why the delivery impersonation is such a reliable disguise. And Hailey getting more than she bargained for with social interaction.

The beach scenes were the highlight of the chapter - great use of USB material, including some memorable takedowns. Poor Violette and Valerie... though at least Gillian, Zoe, and Edwige managed to get away unstripped this time.

The action climax went on for a while, but it was well written and often quite tense. A great confrontation between Willow (perhaps the most interesting of the White Masks) and Angel. Some great suspense there.

And a good character-focused epilogue as well. Once again, I admire your ability to write these characters so well and believably. Even Sarah Summers, a villain I didn't really care for, is given an effective ending that feels appropriately disturbing.

A very enjoyable story and a worthy addition to this sprawling saga. I can only hope for more such crossovers to come. Great work all around. :)
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Chapter 36.5: Chronicles of Heartfelt City 2

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Trackman: Well, if/when you'll be willing to feature them again, just send a PM, I'll give you their descriptions and bios. ;)

Tirepanted: Wrapping up a story is indeed tough, especially when it features many characters that need to have their own conclusion. This story ultimately became longer than what I anticipated, and I'm happy to have been able to finish it. Good luck with yours! I'm sure it won't disappoint. ;)

I admit that I often focus more on the characters' personalities and interactions than on the plot itself. Often, the plot is an 'excuse' to bring to life interactions or developments that I wanted to write - I have the idea for the dialogues and character developments first, then I try to write a story to bring them to life.

I would never have thought that I'd have so much fun with stories that heavily feature characters who hate uniform stealings and that deconstruct all the negative aspects associated with the trope. Though in hindsight I guess that it was logical to wish to explore the moral boundaries of the concept after writing so many stories...

Delivery woman impersonation is a classic, it's been quite some time since the last time I wrote a proper one. Poor Hailey indeed joins the list of the many guards who tempted fate and got more than what they bargained for!

I was hoping that the beach scenes would make some impression, given the fact that they feature rarely used outfits. Glad it didn't leave people indifferent. Violette and Valerie were indeed unlucky... I was tempted to write a happier epilogue for them, either in the vein of Luna's and Margo's or Emma's and Rachel's; but since this story is about the moral greyness of uniform stealings, I decided against. Gillian, Zoe and Edwige have been outrageously lucky as of late. Let's hope they don't become TOO complacent... ;) ;)

I find that the climax is often the trickier part to write, as I often have a lot of difficulties to find ways to feature uniform stealings into them. I'm glad it didn't feel too long.

A main villain needs a good send-off, and I really liked what I came up with for Sarah. I'm glad it left some impact on you!

I really enjoy writing these crossover stories, perhaps too much? I admit that I sometimes have to remind myself that I have my own saga to finish. :P Though, at least in the near future, there probably won't be one. The flow of ideas has dried up for now... well at least from my part. I'm not speaking for trackman here. ;) ;)
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