Vendela: The New Brood

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Trackman281
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Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Vendela: The New Brood

Post by Trackman281 »

Right if I don't release this chapter now, I'll end up re-writing it again and I've already re-written the whole thing from scratch four times already and I really don't feel like doing it a fifth time, so I have to release it now before my mind comes up with different ideas and I end up scrapping it again, Hahahahaha :lol: ANyway I hope you enjoy. :)

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VENDELA: THE NEW BROOD

Alicia sips on a piping hot cup of camomile tea as she exams her new house, her house has multiple tiers furnished with only the finest sculptures, interior decorating and fine, yet gruesome artwork, only the finest for a elder demon such as her. Alicia’s daughter are currently teasing and annoying their human slaves as they bring out their dinner.

“Aaaahhhhhh, BOO!......Tehehe!” The daughters scare the servants.

This might seem like child’s play but it’s not, the servants know that at any moment, one of three daughters might take it too far, turn into their demon forms and truly attack and kill them so this is no surprise that the servants are genuinely scared by the daughters and their jump scare games.

“Mmmm, this smells delicious and BOO!.........Hahahaha!” Gretchen makes a maid jump, just as she puts a plate of meat down on the table.

“Enough of this, daughters you may be seated.” Alicia says waving her hand.

The three daughters immediately stop playing and take their seats at the dinner table, Alicia closes her eyes and waves her servants to be gone. The servants all bow to the four demons before they quickly, yet politely make their leave, afterwards Alicia opens her eyes and admires all the various succulent meats and vegetable dishes around the table, she see’s all three of her daughter virtually salivating at all the food around them.

“Remember, use your forks and only one piece of meat at a time, a true lady never indulges straight away.” Alicia explains as she gently tucks her handkerchief into her top.

“Yes mother.” The three daughters quickly say as they too copy their mother and tuck clothes into their robes.

“And remember, a true lady allows her parents and elders to pick first.” Alicia says as she gently picks up her fork.

The three daughters watch as Alicia picks what meat she wants, followed by what vegetables she wants, once she’s selected her food, she looks at her daughters.

“Now, one at a time and we will go counter clockwise around the table.” Alicia explains so the daughters don’t bum rush each other trying to get the food.

“Of course, mother!” The daughters shout.

Moments later, Danielle gets her food, then Gretchen, then finally Isabelle. All three of the daughter’s tuck in, it should come to no surprise that they mostly only chose meat and skipped on the vegetables, to which Alicia just rolled her eyes. The meal was long and hearty, but sure enough, once it was all finished, all the trays and plates were completely empty, especially the one’s which had meat on them. Alicia picks up a little bell and gently rings it. Moments later the servants come rushing in and start clearing away the empty plates.

“That was tasty……..You know you look tasty too, maybe one day if you mess up we will be serving YOU on our dinner table.” Danielle says to a very rightened maid as she clears the table.

The maid looks Danielle in the eyes and watches them turn bright orange, the maid swallows hard in fear before she leaves the table quickly with what plates she has gathered.

“Danielle, stop teasing the servants, they have jobs to do.” Alicia says in a gentle tone.

“Aaaahhhh, but mum their only humans, we can always get more, if something were to happen to them.” Danielle protests.

“Exactly mum, humans aren’t exactly in short supply, there’s billions and billions of the things……..Kind of like rats really.” Isabelle backs her sister up.

“I don’t care, I’m raising you to be princesses of the royal court which means you must conduct yourselves in proper fashion!” Alicia quickly replies.

The three daughters scoff, but as the servants start to bring out desert, the three daughters suddenly feel woozy and dizzy. They start to feel sick and their eyes glow a strong blood orange, their teeth grow sharp and sweat drips down their heads.

“Please your majesty, I didn’t do anything I promise!” One of the maid’s shouts to Alicia as she puts a bowl of lemon sorbet down on the table.

Alicia just politely raises her hand and pours herself another cup of camomile tea, she gently sips it and watches as her daughters suddenly scream in high pitched demonic voices.

“Do not worry, you are not to blame for this, my daughters are simply………Maturing……….Although you might want to leave if you want to live to see tomorrow as the maturing process makes demon’s………Unpredictable.” Alicia says as her eyes glow orange too.

The maids tremble in fear before they run out of the dining room, fearing for their lives. Alicia sits back on her chair and sips her tea, she watches as her daughters wriggle in agony, Alicia knows know that there is nothing to fear, besides she was a child too once before and she remembers how her maturing metamorphosis went, so she knows her daughters are in pain, but soon the pain will go and soon the royal court will have three new demon princesses in it’s mist………With that Alicia sips her tea again and smiles sadistically.

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Vendela, Iris and Sareena enjoy breakfast at the local tavern where they’ve been staying, it’s been several days since the incident with the Red Jacks and the Red Jacks themselves have not responded at all, with this, Vendela is comfortable leaving the townsfolk and continuing on her way.

“So, if everything is what you said is true, then it sounds what you came across was a elder demon.” Iris concludes.

“Exactly, my parents used to tell me stories of these three amulets and the fact that a family of demon’s are currently searching for them indicates that they’re clearly hoping to re-awaken the empress and usher in a new dark age. Plus that scent, that demon’s scent was unlike anything I’ve ever smelled, it was dark, cold, but masked so well that I didn’t notice it until it was far too late, only demons who have lived for long periods of time know how to mask their scent in such a fashion.” Vendela says as she sips from a tankard.

“Pfft, elder demons, what difference does it makes, I’ll burn them back to the NetherRealm.” Sareena says as her wrist catches fire.

“I would love to see you go up against an elder demon, you little match stick, you wouldn’t even last ten seconds before she’d blow you out like a birthday candle.” Iris taunts.

“Oh, is that right? Well at least I’d last longer than you ice cube, you’d probably pee your pants and hide behind a bush.” Sareena responds.

“What’d you say!” Iris forms an ice dagger into her hands.

“Oh, you want to go popsicle brain!” Sareena forms two fireballs in her hands.

“Ladies, ladies please, you’re freaking out the customers.” Vendela says stepping in between the two mancers.

Iris and Sareena look around and see families ducking under tables for safety, both women then cool off, both literally and figuratively, they then sit down and turn to Vendela.

“Now look, I hate demons, you hate demons, we all hate demons, so what’d say we save our fighting for when it really counts.” Vendela says with a warm smile.

“Again though, your half demon, so does that mean you hate yourself?” Iris asks.

Vendela looks at the ceiling before turning to Iris.

“No, my father was a demon yes, but I don’t hate him and I don’t hate the fact that he was a demon, my father was a very rare example of demon’s who actually see good and I……….” Vendela goes silent.

“So I got to ask, where are your parents now?” Sareena goes on.

Vendela grasps her tankard tightly as she remembers the day when she was a child.

“Martha please, they’re coming, we need to get Vendela to safety”

“I know, please Vendela, stay here, no matter what you hear, don’t come out of this room, promise me!”

“Martha they’re here!”

Demonic growls and Angelic war cries are heard as Vendela remembers hiding in the corner of a closet.


Vendela suddenly snaps back to reality……..

“Oh goodness me, look at the hour, well we can’t just sit around here all day, we need to know where this second amulet is.” Vendela says shaning the subject very quickly.

“But where would we even start?” Iris wonders.

Sareena looks up and see’s a family reading an article on a news flyer, she looks in closer and notices that one of the duchesses belonging to a royal house is wearing an amulet around her neck very similar to the one Vendela was describing, she tilts her head sideways for a better look.

“Hey Vendela, what did you say that amulet looked like again?” Sareena smiles.

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A circular court room is seen with multiple lava falls around it, inside several male and female demons of all different forms and sizes, sit around a massive stone table, behind them is the demon empress herself, forever trapped inside her prison, it is unknown if she is able to hear anything from inside her captive tomb, but demon society dictates that they must speak to her as if she can hear. The demons turn as Alicia enters the rooms with her three daughters behind her.

“Bah, Alicia, what are you doing bringing your children here, this is not a babysitting center you know.” A demon voices his disgust.

The other demons laugh. Alicia just simply smiles and watches as her three daughters walk right up to the demon who was laughing at them, Isabella grabs him by the throat and hoists him up into the air.

“What are you doing, you little brat!” He manages to mutter.

But Isabella just smiles and snaps his neck with one hand and drops his body to the floor, the other demons all get out of their seats in both shock and rage. The three daughters then smile to each other before they unzip and remove their black robes, letting their bare naked bodies be on full show, their naked bodies actually resemble that of Olympic athletes, no wonder how they can lure unsuspecting prey to their dooms with the promise of sex, with their naked bodies looking like this.

Suddenly the demon daughters grow twelve feet tall, their eyes glow pure orange and a third eye forms in the middle of their foreheads. Shiny scales of armour cover their limbs and bodies like shells, their claws grow until they stretch out wide, their skin changes to that of a dark sage green, one of the daughters even screams and two demonic wings burst from her back in full glory, one of the daughter begins to grown long thick horns, all three of them have revealed that they now posses the ability to show their true demon forms.

“As you can see, my daughters matured earlier today, and something tells me that they’re will not be any objections to having them present in the court?” Alicia says as she looks as the deceased demon in the middle of the floor.

“No, no, of course not………The court welcomes the daughters of Alicia into it’s fold, please state your newly given demonic name to the empress.” A female demon says as she bows to the three daughters.

The three daughters whilst still in their demon forms turn to their mother.

“Go my beautiful daughters, introduce yourselves to her royal empress and announce your intentions as the NEW princesses of this court.” Alicia smiles with joy.

The three daughters scoff and walk passed the bowing demons, they then approach the giant tomb which currently hold their empress. Then Danielle steps forward.

“I am Xi-Ro, youngest daughter of the fallen queen Alicia, I will take back MY families court and kill the binds that entrap you my empress, on my left eye, I promises this.” Danielle bows before stepping back.

Next Isabella takes a step forward.

“I am Sathona, middle daughter of the fallen queen Alicia, I will take back our home and consume the souls of all Nephilim’s, I will raise my spawn on the corpses of our enemies, on my right eye, I promise this.” Isabella bows before taking a step back.

Finally, Gretchen takes a step forward.

“I am Aurash, first daughter of the fallen queen Alicia, I will chase down the last amulets which keep you at bay, I will watch as the humans witness your rise once more, then watch in glee as the hope in their eyes dwindles and flees in your grace, on my center eye, I promise this.” Gretchen too takes a bow before stepping back.

The three daughters, now with both their human names and their demon names then turn to the remaining council members. The three daughters then confidently step towards them.

“Behold our majesty, behold our crushing might, our staggering size, our scales that shine with an oppressive gleam, behold our glory which create winds that will sweep through the stars!” Isabella or rather Sathona announces.

Alicia sits down and open up her handbag, she gets out a small tissue and wipes her eyes.

“Aaahhh look at them, they’re going to run the streets red with blood and fill the rivers with mutilated corpses……….I’m SO proud of them, honestly what more could a mother ask of her daughters.” Alicia says whipping away tears of joy.

The three daughters turn and look down at the hordes of different legions below them, the daughters then looked at each other and nodded, it seems that there’s going to be some changes around there……..

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Vendela, Iris and Sareena make their way through a forest, indeed the picture that Sareena saw back at the village was in fact the second amulet and it seems to belong to one of the wealthiest families on one of the private islands, in order to get there, they’d need to get to a one of the ports, they quickly deduced that the South port would get them their the fastest so this is where they are heading.

“So why do you steal other women’s clothes when you have all these powers?” Iris asks.

“It’s simple, I’ve always been fascinated with shapeshifters, their abilities to sneak into places and get out again without any commotion so I adopted it, I believe that if I just give a couple of female a bonk on the head, take their clothing and impersonate them for a while, I can fulfil my goals and no one ever gets killed, it’s just easier this way, plus before you say anything I do leave the women I;m replacing in places of where they’ll be discovered.” Vendela replies.

“Yeah, but by whom?” Sareena adds.

“What do you mean?” Vendela asks somewhat confused.

“That just seems quite naïve, I mean yes you’ll leave them in places of where they’ll be found, but by whom? I mean for instance say of they were found by demons or by other humans who have a fondness for raping, you’ve left these women bound and gagged in their underwear with no way to escape………I’m just saying.” Sareena replies.

“I…….I……I……Look, I just have to trust that they are found by nice people………I’ve been stealing women’s clothing for so long now, I don’t really know how to do anything else, I will never raise my sword unless it’s to kill a demon, so please, my methods my seem unorthodox, but please……..Don’t judge me, I’m trying my best in this world.” Vendela explains.

Just then three female figures leap down from the tops of the treeline, they are all wearing brown leather boots, brown leather trousers, green tops, with dark green cloaks around their heads. One of them is 33 years old, she has dark brown skin, brown eyes and under her hood she has long black braided hair. The second female is 26 years old, she has beige skin, sapphire blue eyes and under her hood she has long sunflower blonde hair tied back in a bun. The third female is 30 years old, she has tanned skin, olive green eyes and under her hood she has short chocolate brown hair.

The three women leap down in front of them and pulls out daggers.

“Look girls, we got three for the price of one here, that means one of each of us!” The dark skinned female says.

“Oh great, bandits.” Iris says rolling her eyes.

“Your damn right little lady, now why don’t you go ahead and strip out your clothes, those outfits of yours look like they’d fetch a pretty coin on the market.” The tanned skin bandit replies.

“Why don’t you come here and make me!” Sareena lights her hands on fire.

“W-what, a Pyromancer, what is one of those doing this far west?” The blonde bandit shouts.

Iris turns her hands into ice blocks.

“Oh, shit and a Cryomancer, screw this, you dumb arse, trust you to find couple of mancers instead of some easy pickings!” The tanned skinned bandit belittles the dark skinned one.

Suddenly Vendela’s hands start to glow, the three bandits panic and try to run, but Vendela just waves her hands in their direction, bubbles form around their heads, the bubbles are filled with a strange knock out gas which goes up the noses of the three bandits, the bandits cough and splutter before one by one they all fall down to the floor, completely knocked out, Vendela waves her hands once more and the bubbles around the bandits heads pop, letting all the knockout gas dissipate into the air.

“You know, I could have taken them.” Iris says.

“Yes, but you might have killed them, this way is more kind.” Vendela says as she goes over to check the bandits.

“We should keep our eyes open, where there’s one group of bandits there’s usually a hell of a lot more.” Sareena says looking around.

“Or we could just be them, I mean after all, if you can’t beat them, join them.” Vendela says sizing up the bandits.

Sareena and Iris look at each other, they know what Vendela means by this.

A few minutes later………..

All three of the bandits have been stripped of their clothing, they are all wearing dark brown lion cloths which have been wrapped around their hips and tucked up and in-between their legs, they are all also wearing green clothes which has been wrapped around their breasts and tied into knots at the back. All three of the half-naked bandits and have been seating with their backs against a thick oak tree, Vendela has summoned a spell which allow yellow knots to tie them up, the strands have tied around their bodies securing their backs to the tree, the bonds have tried up their ankles and their legs, they’ve also tied their arms and their wrists up behind their backs. Iris has tore some of the fabric off from the outfit she was wearing and wrapped it in and around their mouths as gags before she secured them tight.

With all three of the real bandits, bound, gagged and out of the way. Vendela, Iris and Sareena put on their clothes before they pull the cloaks over their heads.

“These will do, now when we pass a military checkpoint, I’ll leave a note for a search party to come and find our friends here.” Vendela says.

“Not unless a demon finds them first.” Sareena whispers, but thankfully Vendela doesn’t hear.

They leave the three bandits who are subtly moaning in their sleep through their gags and continue down the path.

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Gretchen, or rather Aurash now stand by her sister Sathona who is conjuring up magic in cauldron. Sathona puts one of her claws under her chin and hums to herself.

“Something wrong?” Aurash asks.

“I don’t have strict proof yet, you know. This thing we believe………That we’re liberating the universe by letting our empress be re-awakened, that she’ll cut out the rot and usher in a new demonic age and that we’re on course to join her by her side………..I haven’t found any strict, eternal proof. We might yet be wrong.” Sathona replies.

“What do you mean?” Aurash asks, somewhat confused.

“For instance……..It is the nature of life to favour existence over nonexistence, and to prefer the fertile soil to the poisoned wind. Because those who open their mouths to that wind pass from the world and leave no descendant, whether of flesh or of thought. But imagine the abomination of a world where nothing can end and no choice can be preferred to any other, imagine the things that would suffer and never die, imagine the lies that would flourish without context or corrective.” Sathona riddles, but Aurash seems to understand.

“I see………For all these thousands of years, we’ve been told to believe in the empress’s logic because that is what it is…….Without reason and without thought…………Yet proof has long be drowned in the tapestry of time and now who’s top say what is right and what is wrong with this.” Aurash replies.

“Exactly……..I will continue to search for the amulets, but maybe we should think about how WE can restore our families position in the thrown room as the new demon queens, rather than relying on tales of a fallen empress.” Sathona discusses.

Danielle or as she is known now as Xi-Ro appears behind them.

“Until out metamorphosis I did not know that our mother was a former queen………Maybe Sathona is right, maybe it’s time our bloodline did take back what is rightfully ours.” Xi-Ro acknowledges.

The three daughters / princesses look at each other and wonder “What if’s” together whilst they use their magic to search for the second amulet.

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The trio made their way through the forest, on the way they did bump into several other bandits, but nothing happened because of their disguises, before they reached the end of the forest Vendela wasn’t sure if she would find a military checkpoint this far out so instead she whispered a little white lie to a group of bandits and told them about a convoy’s location which is ripe for the taking, needless to say that when this new group of bandits get there, all they’ll find is their friends bound and gagged in their undies.

Once they left the forests they travelled down and made their way to a portside village, however upon their arrival, something seemed off, it didn’t take long for them to realise that the town was currently under occupation from a clan of pirates.

“Well this complicates things.” Sareena explains.

“Yes, but all we need to do is get to one of those boats, if we can commandeer one, we’d be able to sail to the island without any issues.” Vendela explains.

“That’s great and all it really is, but something tells me where not going to get anywhere dressed like this.” Iris points.

“Exactly!” Vendela says with a smile and a wink.

“Uuurrggh fine but let me do this one.” Iris points out.

“Well okay, just remember, NO killing.” Vendela immediately snaps.

“Don’t worry, I got this.” Iris says flexing her arms.

Iris enters the village whilst Vendela and Sareena stay behind hiding behind a load of barrels, Iris crept around the portside town until she ducked behind an alleyway when a tavern door opened.

Four female pirates emerged with glasses of rum in their hands. All four women had tanned skin, mostly due to the fact that they were often outdoors, they all were rather young, mainly in their late twenties or their early thirties. The first woman was wearing a white ample long-sleeved blouse, light brown loose pants cut off just below the knee, white woolen stockings, and brown shoes. She had an oval-shaped face, black hair and brown eyes. Her haircut was made of several collarbone-long braids adorned with stone beads. A red bandanna was covering her head. The second woman had neck-long unattached sandy blond hair and dark blue eyes. She was tall and lanky. She was clad in a beige blouse, faded blue baggy trousers, grey woolen stockings, black shoes and a black bandanna tied over the head. The third woman was wearing a red mantle over a white tunic, brown loose trousers, black shoes, and a black tri-cornered hat. She had ginger red hair tied into a shoulder-long ponytail, and green eyes. Her chin was pointy and her face was angular.
The fourth woman had short chin-long brown hair and hazel eyes, as well as a round face. She was shorter than her companions. She was wearing a dark grey blouse and black loose trousers. An orange headband was tied around her head.

The four pirates drank their glasses dry then smashed them against the tavern wall.

“Why’s the rum always gone?” Orange bandana shouted.

“Aaarr, blame miss tankard here, her belly can put away more rum than a sperm whale does fish.” Tri-corner hat shouted whilst pointing at Black bandanna.

The four pirates went around the corner and into the alley whey they halted by the sight of Iris.

“Avast ye land lubber, this be out turf now ye hear.” Black bandanna belted out.

Iris didn’t respond, instead she raised her hands and a thick blue cold fog filled the alleyway leaving the four pirates barely any room to see.

“Yyyyaarrr, by the sixteen sea’s, what’s a Cryomancer doing this far West?” Yellow bandanna blurted out.

“Who cares, swords out ya yellow bellies!” Red bandanna shouted as she unsheathed her sword.

Iris made solid ice form over her knuckles, kind of like makeshift knuckle dusters then moved in through the fog.

“Yyyaarr, the air here be thicker than that of skull island and…..Oooooffff!” Yellow bandanna is suddenly struck in the chin by a fist and is knocked unconscious.

“By Debbie Jones locker I can’t see squat, I…….Aaaahhh!” Black bandanna is suddenly met with a swift blow to the head and is knocked out.

“Did you say something? Gggaaahhh!” Tri corner hat is suddenly punched in the back of the head causing her to fly down to the floor unconscious.

“Matey’s…….Matey’s………Where ye be?.......Hhhuurrkkk, oooff!” Finally red bandanna receives a swift punch to the gut followed by an elbow drop to the back of the head and she’s out cold too.

Iris waves the fog away then signals Vendela and Sareena over.

“Oh, did it the brute way did we?” Sareena says upon seeing the four pirates down on the floor in various hunch over positions.

“Let’s see you do better next time.” Iris responds.

“With pleasure and I’ll tell you another thing I’d actually……” Sareena is interrupted as Vendela steps in-between them again.

“Honestly, you two, what am I going to do with you, your lucky I think your both awesome, now come on let’s get changed into their clothes before more arrive.” Vendela says as she sizes up the pirates.

“What do we do about the fourth one, we only need three?” Sareena ponders.

“Strip her too, that way they’ll think their looking for four people rather than three.” Vendela says as she tries on the yellow bandanna.

Sareena just shrugs as she see’s the logic in it. They stripped the four pirates down to their undergarments, which were the same for each woman: a beige short-sleeved chemise and thigh-long white open drawers. Once they had been stripped, Vendela put on the yellow bandana pirates clothes, Iris the tri corner hats clothes and Sareena the red bandanna pirates clothes, purely because red reminded her of her Pyromancer armour. They then ripped and torn the orange bandanna pirates clothes into bonds, which they swiftly used to hogtie all four of the pirate women, by rolling them on their stomachs, lifting their legs up so they could tie their ankles, then their wrists behind their backs before they knotted them in the middle, it wasn’t long before all four pirate women looked like joints of pork getting ready to be cooked. Vendela then used what was left of the ripped clothing and tied gags into each their mouths.

They then stepped out from the taverns alleyway leaving the four real pirates, bound, gagged and shoved behind a load of rubbish, the trio then made their way to the ships.

As they made their way to the docks themselves, they made sure that they shoved and pushed any other pirate who got in their way purely because if they started acting friendly the other pirates might question why, plus Iris quite enjoyed shoving some pirates around as she viewed them as nothing more than barbaric criminals.

Once they were actually at the docks themselves, the trio found a relatively small boat which they quickly untied from the dock and hopped in, before long they had released the sail and pushed the boat out, it seems they were just in time too as the captain of the pirates seems to have discovered her crew which they had replaced.

“Hah, you idiots must think I’ve stepped off a spinning wheel!” The captain shouted.

“Honestly Cap’n, she’s telling the truth, it was a Cryomancer, she knocked us out and stole our clothes.” The pirates protested their innocents.

“You’re telling me that a random Cryomancer decided to knock all four of you out and stole all your clothes and you have no idea why.” The pirate captain continued.

“Aye, captain, we’re telling you the truth!”

“Enough, go get some new clothes on, then all four of you will swab the deck on our ship as punishment for lying to me and getting your clothes stolen and I understood?” The captain shouts.

“YES CAPTAIN!” The four underwear clad pirates shouted as they hurried off in search for more clothes.

Vendela, Iris and Sareena overheard that whole conversation then before Sareena turned to Vendela.

“Okay, so this time, your strategy worked, but it won’t work all the time.” She said.

“Why not? We stole their clothes, we got through without any fuss and look they got found, yeah they’re being punished but their pirates anyway so as far as I’m concerned, it seems like a win, win to me.” Vendela points out.

“Be careful Vendela, you almost sounded like a demon then.” Iris joked.

“Hah, I maybe half demon, but it doesn’t mean I embrace any of their philosophies or ideals.” Vendela replied.

“Speaking of which, you always seem to use Angelic spells, do you know any demonic spells?” Sareena ponders.

“I know a few, but they all NON lethal.” Vendela immediately points out.

“I don’t believe you, demons are all about chaos and destruction so how can they have spells which don’t cause harm?” Iris wonders now too.

“Well it’s difficult, but there are a few and if you need proof then I’ll show you when we arrive.” Vendela says.

“Deal!” Both Iris and Sareena says simultaneously.

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The boat ride wasn’t exactly long, they were only sailing for a couple of hours before they arrived at the island of “Taox”. Now Taox was an exclusive island, mainly inhabited by rich humans and rich elven families, the island even had it’s own private military force to keep trespassers away, with this in mind, they stopped the boat just shy a couple miles off from the docks, then they leapt overboard and swam to the island unless they get stopped at the docks and mistaken for real pirates.

Once they swam to the docks, they climbed and ran into the islands lustrous vegetation. They noticed that most of the families both elven and human on the island seem to know each other in some way, so replacing some of them would be a terrible idea, how ever they also noticed that the private soldiers all seem to be wearing full face helmets, this was perfect.

“Okay, ladies, I think we all know what needs to happen next.” Vendela says.

“I agree, we’ll need some disguises if we’re going to move freely about this island.” Sareena said, actually agreeing with her.

“See, my way is starting to make sense isn’t it, okay wait here I’ll be right back.” Vendela says as she sneaks out from the vegetation.

Sareena just rolls her eyes at Vendela’s comment, although there is some truth to it……..

Vendela hunts around and finally notices a loan knight doing her rounds.

This knight is wearing a full set of armour with steel, sabatons, greaves, polyenes, cuisses, gauntlets, rerebrace, pauldrons and a full knight helmet. On her chest plate seems to be a giant Sigel which is that of a rising sun coming up from behind the island of Taox itself. A shortsword is tucked in a holster tied around her waist. The knight is question is female, she has her helmet under arm, revealing that she has warm beige skin, she’s 29 years old, she has medium length copper shimmer brown hair and hazel brown eyes.

Vendela’s hands glow yellow, but then she remembered what her friends wanted, so instead she conjured a spell which made her hands glow purple.

“Time for the demonic touch this time.” Vendela whispered to herself as she moved in.

The female knight was so bush examining a bed of roses and because the island see’s so very little trouble, if any, that she wasn’t expecting a Nephilim to creep up behind her. Vendela touched the knight on her cheeks and the purple glow flashed. Moments later the knight turned around with purple glowing eyes and she stared at Vendela. Suddenly the knight became overwhelmed with pleasure and joy, through the spell she now saw Vendela as this goddess of absolute beauty and only wanted to serve her.

“Can you hear me, okay?” Vendela said waving her hand in front of the knight.

“I hear you my queen and wish to serve, please tell me how I can satisfy you.” The knight bending to her knee.

“They’ll be plenty of time for that in a moment, but first, follow me.” Vendela says waving her hands.

“Yes, my queen.” The hypnotised knight replies as she follows.

Vendela escorts the knight back to the vegetation where Iris and Sareena look on with disbelief. They immediately recognise the purple glow as a demonic trance, yet much to their surprise the female knight is completely fine.

“Watch this.” Vendela says

“Now then, first of all, what is your name?” Vendela asks.

“My name is Scarlett, my queen.” The knight now known as Scarlett replies.

“Excellent, well then Scarlett, my friends and I are in need for some of your suits of armour as we need to disguise ourselves, now you look like you’d fit me, but my friends here need some assistance, where can we find two of your colleagues who are about their size?” Vendela asks.

“There’s a guardhouse down the road, two knights by the names of Rebecca and Linda go in there every day, their a couple and they like spending alone time together in there, they should fit your friends my queen.” Scarlett replies.

“Thank you very much for your assistance, now please strip out of your armour.” Vendela says.

“Yes my queen, would you like my underwear too, so I can pleasure you with my naked body?” Scarlett asks.

Vendela turns bright red.

“Oh my stars………Eeerrmmmm………No, no that’s fine, you can keep your underwear, just your suit of armour will be fine thank you.” Vendela says.

“Yes, my queen.” Scarlett says as she starts to strip.

Scarlett strips out of her armour, once she has stripped, it is revealed that she is wearing black leather panties, but having some layers if leather wrap around her bum cheeks, in-between her legs and cover her crotch, they are held up by thin black string, she seems to have a makeshift bra and black leather covering each breasts individually with straps also made up of thin black string over her shoulders, holding it all in place.

“By the realms, this guards is thirsty.” Sareena says looking at Scarlett’s underwear.

“Can you blame them, this island see’s so little action, I guess they don’t really have much else to do all day, so I guess they just find pleasure whenever they can.” Iris chips in.

“Now Scarlett sweetie, your going to sit down behind these bushes, curl up into a ball, and let me bound and gag you, once I finished I will then snap my fingers and you will fall asleep for a few hours, when you away, you’ll no longer be under my control, is this understood?” Vendela says.

“Yes, my queen, anything for you.” Scarlett then walks behind the bushes and sits down, she lifts her knees to her cheek and wraps her arms around her legs, she now looks like a ball.

Vendela conjures a bonding spell which quickly spawns bonds which tie Scarlett’s arms around her legs, they also tie her ankles and her wrists locking her in the ball position, as Vendela strips out of her pirate disguise, she uses the bandana she was wearing as a gag and swiftly gags Scarlett with it, Vendela then snaps her fingers and Scarlett gently drops off into a deep sleep.

“There we go.” Vendela says as she starts getting changed.

“Wow, so even Demon’s have non-lethal speels.” Sareena says as she somewhat eats her words.

“Yeah, there are a few, but Angelic spells are more ideal and they’re safer.” Vendela says as she gets changed.

“Great, so now we find this guardhouse where those two lovers are and swipe their suits of armour.” Iris points out.

“Hey, you said if I could do better then I should prove, so let these next two be mine.” Sareena says referring to the challenge Iris gave her earlier.

“Okay, just as always please, NO killing.” Vendela says as she puts on Scarlett’s helmet.

“Oh, this I gotta see.” Iris smirks to herself.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

Sathona growls with delight as Xi-Ro and Aurash join her.

“I found it, the second amulet, it is on Taox.” Sathona reveals.

“Excellent then soon we will……….” XI-Ro is suddenly interrupted by a presence.

Something just happened, a sudden burst of magic………It was strong……….It was dark…………The daughters felt is power……….They wanted it………..They it also felt, familiar to them in a way.

“Do you feel that?” Aurash asks.

“Such strength, such limitless power……..So dark……..So hungry!” Xi-Ro responds.

They turn to Alicia.

“I felt it too, show me the source of this disturbance.” Alicia said.

The three daughters revert back to their human forms and quickly put on their black robes again, they then follow their mother to the source of this strange yet familiar occurrence.

A while later the four demons appear on top of a hill overlooking the south port village, when they arrive they see a flash of light appear then disappear suddenly, when it goes, the power hungry feeling goes along with it. The daughters and Alicia sniff the air for a scent.

“That scent………It can’t be.” Sathona says.

“It’s the same scent that those females had to burnt down out home……..But this time it was different, I also sensed a stronger darker presence with them this time.” Aurash responded.

“Mother, can you smell it too?” Xi-Ro asks.

“Of course, I can, I smell a shapeshifter again, but again, how is this possible, I haven’t caught the scent of a shapeshifter for centuries, hhhhmmmm.” Alicia replies.

Below they see the same pirate captain emerge with the same four crew members from earlier.

“So let me get this straight, first a Cryomancer takes your clothes and ties you up. NOW your saying that a group of women appeared from a bright light, beat you up, stole your clothes and tied you up AGAIN! Before they just vanished into thin air without a trace.” The captain says.

“We swear captain, it happened, it really did happen!” One of the pirates tries to plead.

“Enough of this, go find some more clothes…….Again…….then go and scrub the entire upper deck of the ship and don’t let me find you bound and gagged in your undies again, or I’ll send you all to Debbie Jones locker.” The pirate captain says as she walks away in disbelief.

“AYE CAPTAIN!” The four-underwear clad female pirates then run onto the ship, once again in search of more clothes.

Suddenly Alicia gets another scent, this time coming from the island just across the sea.

“I don’t believe it……….That Nephilim is close by……..So she did survive and it seems she’s after the second amulet too.” Alicia says.

The three daughters, snal angrily then get ready to transform into their demon forms once more, but Alicia stops them.

“NO! This is perfect, be patient my daughters, let this Nephilim do all the hard work for us, then we will swoop in and claim our prize, now come along.” Alicia says as she turns away.

The three daughters, then smile sadistically, before their eyes turn orange and they follow Alicia back down the hill and onto a path.

************************************************************************************************************************************

A knight wearing the exact suit as Scarlett appears by the guardhouse, she gently opens the door and goes inside, she takes off her helmet to which we see a white skinned woman with long-ish black hair, she has light brown eyes and looks like she in her late twenties / early thirties.

“Hey Rebecca honey are you in here?” She says as she walks, revealing that this knight is Linda.

Linda turns and see’s Rebecca, she’s already stripped off out of her armour, she’s wearing a dark brown loin cloth and a thin white sheet is wrapped around the front of her breasts. Rebecca is also a white skinned woman with long caramel blonde hair, she has star blue eyes, and she is lying on her back with her legs spread wide open on a table.

“Mmmm, well hello there my knight in sexy shiny armour.” Rebecca says with a seductive look on her face.

“Oh, god I’ve been thinking about you all through the shift.” Linda says as she moves in.

“Well what are you waiting for, come and get me, you strong sexy knight!” Rebecca says.

Linda climbs on top of Rebecca and starts French kissing her. Whilst they are doing this though, because their sex drive has taken over everything else and their so focused on getting into each other’s underwear, they fail to see Sareena has just snuck in through a window of the guard house.

“I want to pull your underwear off with my teeth!” Linda whispers in Rebecca’s ear.

“Mmmm, sounds good, but first I want you to kiss my neck my making those sexy moaning noises, I love hearing you make.” Rebecca says as she wraps her legs around Linda’s body.

Linda starts kissing Rebecca’s neck, Rebecca herself then closes her eyes as she feels Linda’s warm lips against her skin, it’s during this time Sareena sneaks up on Linda and applies a quick nerve pinch to the back of Linda’s neck.

“Ah…….Ooooooohhhhhhh.” Linda says as she falls unconscious.

“Mmm, that sounded like an orgasm moan babe, god you know how to get me so wet and horny don’t you babe………Babe………Babe what’s up.” Rebecca says having no idea what just happened to her girlfriend.

Rebecca opens her eyes and see’s Sareena looking at her, but before she can do anything, all she see’s is Sareena’s fist come down on her, punching her right in the forehead and knocking her out cold.

Sareena leans her hand out the guardhouse window and signals to Iris and Vendela who in turn come in through the front door.

“Wow, Scarlett wasn’t kidding, I can literally feel the pheromones piercing my skin in here, these two really were going to go at it with each other.” Vendela said as she see’s Rebecca and Linda on top of each other.

“Well, this one’s already stripped, she was like that before I even got here, her suit of armour is over there by the door, that just leaves this one.” Sareena says.

Sareena walks over and picks up Rebecca’s suit of armour by the door.

“Hey how become I have to strip her.” Iris moans.

“Because as you saw, I clearly did the whole stealthy takedown thing, way better than you, my little ice cube, which means you have to strip her.” Sareena says.

“Call me an ice cube and I’ll punch that smug face of your right into next week!” Iris shouts.

“Hey, calm down everyone, look I think you were both great at your takedowns for different reasons, now look if it makes you feel better, I’ll strip her, but we have to be quick, in case more guards arrive.” Vendela says.

Both Sareena and Iris just scoff and grumble as each of them think that their takedowns were better than the other’s.

Vendela strips Linda out of her armour, it is revealed that Linda is wearing and very, very thin piece of cloth which only covers the opening to her vagina and a very thin see-through sheet which only covers her nipples, needless to say, it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“I feel bad because these two were just after some alone time and they are lovers, so I feel kinda bad about this.” Vendela says.

Iris notices a load of rope inside one of the storage crates.

“Hear, maybe this will make you feel a bit better.” Iris says grabbing some rope.

Iris then places Rebecca on her back and opens up her legs, she then lays Linda face down right on top of Rebecca’s vagina and makes sure that Linda’s vagina is also right on top of Rebecca’s face. She then wraps Rebecca legs around Linda’s head keeping them locked in place, then does the same by wrapping Linda’s legs around Rebecca’s face, also keeping them locked in place.

“I read somewhere that in the days of old, this was called a sixty nine position……..Lovers used to do it all the time, apparently it’s very kinky or something.” Iris said grabbing the rope.

“Hah, I knew, frigging Cryomancer’s, nothing more than a bunch or pervs!” Sareena shouts.

“Your just jealous, because we know what love actually is, you stupid little match sticks just have animal urges!” Iris responds.

Vendela gets ready to separate the two mancers again, but surprisingly Sareena, just swears and mumbles under her breath and turns around.

Iris ties Rebecca and Linda’s legs together, before she ties their bodies to each other’s, before securing their wrist, both Rebecca and Linda were permanently locked in the sixty-nine tied position. Iris then used the bandanas that both Sareena and her were wearing and tied them around Rebecca and Linda’s mouths as gags. Iris then dragged their bodies under the table where they wouldn’t be found until the next guard rotation a few hours from now.

“There we go, how’s that?” Iris asks.

“Well, at least they’ll be tied together, plus if it really is a kinky position from the old days, then they’ll probably enjoy it, nice work Iris!” Vendela says with joy.

Iris just smiles and cockily raises her eyebrows at Sareena as if to say “Ha-ha, Vendela liked my idea.”

Sareena just blows raspberries from her tongue and finishes getting changed. A short while later, Sareena was now fully changed into Rebecca’s armour whilst Iris was now fully changed into Linda’s armour, all three women then left the guardhouse in their newly acquired disguises.

“Okay then my awesome mancer friends, let’s go get this amulet.” Vendela announced.

“Right!” Both Iris and Sareena put on their full-face helmets along with Vendela to hide their faces, they set off to look for the Duchess’s estate.

TO BE CONTINUED…………………………..
meditions142
Posts: 1256
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by meditions142 »

Hi Trackman. Love this story.

I have to say that the scene with Scarlett is my favorite. Love that demonic touch spell. Like that Scarlett is "overwhelmed with pleasure and joy".

Love how Vendela is able to make Scarlett provide the information needed about the other knights. I also really like Scarlett's comment when being told to strip “Yes my queen, would you like my underwear too, so I can pleasure you with my naked body?” And Vandela's response to that offer is wonderful.

Loved Scarlett's underwear as well. Sounds like Scarlett looked pretty sexy once she was out of her armor.

Love the way Scarlett just folds herself up to be bound and gagged and then with a simple snap of her fingers Vandela puts lovely Scarlett into a deep sleep.

The scene with Rebecca and Linda is also wonderful. I love how Rebecca thinks that the moan Linda lets out as she is knocked out by the nerve pinch is actually a orgasm! Then poor Rebecca gets a good old punch to the forehead to knock her out.

And of course the great way the two unconscious guards are tied together is terrific!
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by Trackman281 »

Meditions142 - Thank you very much, although I must admit, I'm not happy with the story aspect of it as I get the feeling like I've done it wrong, but at least it seems I nailed the takedown scenes for you. :D

Well I remember you saying that you were keen to know what one of these demonic powers were like and they have differed from Vendela's angelic powers, so I was pleased to be able to show that off, it certainly does seem that with the touch being demonic, it seems to tap into their more lustful and sexy sides doesn't it, so you bet we will see Vendela using the demonic touch again at some point. :D

Indeed, it is as Iris pointed out, the knights on that island see so little action, that I guess they get the urge to be sexy with one another to pass the time. ;) Plus experimenting with new ways for infiltrators to tie up their victims is always a fun thing to do. :D

I also remembered that you are quite fond of females making fairly sexy and aroused noises / moans as they're being knocked out so when I was writing Rebecca and Linda's scene, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up and I had to use it. :D

Many thanks again Meditions and I am pleased that you enjoyed it. :D
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Not too much to say about this one. Compared to the recent long stories in Tina's universe, this story feels a lot more straight-forward. More like an introduction to the upcoming arc: we get to see what out villainesses are doing, to learn more about Cendela, and to see Vendela and her friends launch their new quest, with a few women being mugged on their way.

I can see why you had a hard time writing it, given the fact that a travel from one point to another isn't the best kind of scenario to involve uniform stealings that feel natural (hence the scenes with the bandits and the pirates ). The second half that begins the infiltration of the island of Taox proper seems to have been easier to come up with... (Face-concealing helmets should be a huge no-no no matter the time period when you choose to equip your guards. :lol: ) Hopefully the next part featuring the proper infiltration of the Duchess’s estate will be easier to come up with. ;)

Good 'fight scene' in the fog with the pirates. ;)

So Linda and Rebecca exist in several universes. Though their counterparts are a lot bolder, to say the least! :lol: It looks like the world of Vendela will be a little more explicit when it comes to this kind of situation... Fitting, given the fact it's based on the medieval times.
I'll admit however that I feel a little conflicted about this part: Don't get me wrong, this part is undeniably sexy, well-written and well-done, no questions asked - probably the highlight of the story as far as uniform stealings are concerned. (Meditions summed it up well.) However, it reminds me too much of Tina's stories: same general situation, same characters, same sixty-nine outcome... I feel the same way with Scarlett's scene: which is good independantly, but brings to mind the scenes involving Tina's hypno darts in the way it is written and its different steps (including her asking if she has to remove her underwear, the exact same joke as with Phoebe). One of the strengths of Vendela is that it features a different universe with different rules (for instance, the bondage spells). I'm not saying I don't appreciate the references, but I'm conflicted about whether it's a good thing to have them or not (at least so soon given the fact that Vendela's universe has barely been set up yet and didn't have the time to have its own identity). I fear that too many references to Tina's stories may prevent this series from getting its own identity.

I appreciated the little discussion about Sareena and Vendela on the topic the naivety of her point of view, a good way to adress that. Though I have to admit that there's an aftertaste of missed potential, given how quickly and how nonchalantly the subject is discussed and tossed aside. On the other hand, it highlight character flaws that I smell Vendela will have to overcome: naivety and carelesness. A foreshadowing for later?

Glad you found some use for these pirate ladies. Unlucky them! ;) (I also admire your way of giving them pirate accents.) Thanks for the little shout-out, you even found a way to tie it in with your story. Also, it appears that Alicia and her daughters can smell the power of the Black Star pulsating though Tsuki's body. Interesting... ;)

(I was in a really immature mood when reading this story, because when I heard about Vendela's mother being called Martha, I kept expecting Ben Affleck showing up to shout: "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?" Plus, the pirates' question about Why is the rum gone made me crave for You Tube video "Why is the Rum Gone? - Remix")
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by Trackman281 »

Rufusluciusivan - Yes, I knew from the beginning where I wanted to go, I just had no idea how to get there with some descent USB scenes, I couldn't just have the main characters going down the road mugging women for the clothes just because hahaha! :lol: So yes writing it was incredibly hard and I'm pretty sure people just didn't want multiple scenes of them walking down the streets talking so I had to include the bandits to spice things up a little. :D

Oh yeah, the Duchesses estate will be so much easier to write as I already know how I'm going to work it, what disguises will be used and everything........Aahh damn it, I bet I've just jinxed it now haha. :D :lol:

I guess I kind of wanted it to be a little joke as to say, no matter what world, in what universe and in what dimension. Rebecca and Linda are always destined to find each other and be together haha, although yes it seems that this iteration of them are indeed both incredibly straight forward with each other in their relationship and are all too eager to get into each other undergarments. :D ;)

Hhhhmmm you could be on to something, maybe I'm leaning too much into that direction and I need to pull it back a little bit, I think it's because I really am struggling to give Vendela her own identity, yes she has her powers and her abilities, but when it comes to her as a whole I am struggling to get under the skin as to who Vendela really is.........With saying that I seem to have a very easy time writing the antagonists, their scenes for me move extremely smoothly and I know where I want their characters to go, I've even got multiple scenarios in mind for them........It really is just the protagonists I'm struggling with, I don't know why, but I just can't seem to come up with any concrete ideas for them can I. I know what I'm doing wrong, I just have no idea how to fix it. :shock: :D

Yes Sareena's mentioning of Vendela and her naivety will indeed come into play very, very soon, I just needed to mention it so you can guess what's coming up. This is definitely not the last time we will be hearing Sareena make these comments, if anything it's just the beginning and if what I've got planned for the next part is anything to go by, something tells me Vendela might want to stop being so naïve, it might come back and bite her in the backside. :D ;)

Oh yes, I mean you gave me four lovely characters to work with and it already tied in with the idea that you and I spoke about a little while ago, so you bet I was definitely going to use, especially when you gave me the green light to use them, it just needed to be done. :D

Yes I thought about and then I naturally remembered, Tsuki and Coulter were wrestling for control when our favourite shapeshifter and her friends appeared so I got thinking......Why wouldn't the daughters and Alicia sense the power, the black star is filled with so much evil that naturally, dark and black magic creatures like the daughters might naturally sense it's power then seek it out, even if it's not for the same reasons as Tsuki, they'd naturally sense this thing of unlimited power and potential, so they'd naturally wish to harness it to feed their power hunger. :D 8-)

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh hell, I never thought of that when I called Vendela's mother Martha, oh god what have I done Hahahahaha! :lol: :D

Pppssttt, I'll let you in on a little secret, I got the idea of the "Why's the rum always gone" quote from the pirates of the Caribbean films so YES, if you want to think about that remix while you read it, then hell yeah go for it! As a matter of fact some of my best Stasis moments come from me having immature moments, so hell yeah, I know exactly where your coming from on that front. :D :lol: 8-)
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by tirepanted3 »

It can certainly be a challenge to move a story forward (set up a new chapter, develop characters and plot) while also devoting time to uniform stealing scenes. The two sides best when they work hand in hand (that is, when the USB scenes feel like they're naturally a part of the story). The USB scenes in this chapter may not have directly impacted the plot in notable ways, but it's understandable since this is still a relatively new series and you're setting up a lot of characterization and mythology. :)

All in all, I thought this was a decent chapter, and did what it needed to do to move the characters along. The scenes with Alicia and her daughters aren't quite to my taste, but I do appreciate how wicked they are - they're being set up as compelling antagonists. And the interactions between Vendela, Iris, and Sareena are good fun as well, and displayed their contrasting personas and abilities.

The uniform steals were entertaining, even if they were largely incidental to the plot. I liked the scene with the bandits - a classic case of the villains getting the tables turned on them. The scene with Scarlett was pretty good as well, even if mind-control isn't among my favorite knockout techniques. (Vendela's reaction when Scarlett offers her underwear was hilarious.)

Rebecca and Linda returning is an amusing bit of crossover continuity, though I agree with Rufus that it probably would be better to try and put some distance between these stories and the Clone Saga (that's what I've been calling Tina's stories) and let the Vendela series develop more of its own identity, as seen in the previous two chapters.

The pirates' dialogue was pretty silly, but that was to be expected, since they were also pretty silly in their "Pakal" appearance. I would not be surprised to learn if they'd taken lessons from Jack Sparrow. :lol:

Good stuff overall, and I'm eager to see where the story goes when the heroes and villains inevitably meet.
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Tirepanted: Can you believe that I called Tina's story 'Clone Saga' too on the Word document I use to keep a copy of the stories? :lol: I'm sensing a SpiderMan inspiration for the name, or is it just me? ;)

Trackmann: One thing is certain, it would be interesting to see them interact directly with Tsuki then... ;) :lol: Though I believe even powerful demons would be wary of the corrupting influence of the Black Star.
Yes Sareena's mentioning of Vendela and her naivety will indeed come into play very, very soon, I just needed to mention it so you can guess what's coming up. This is definitely not the last time we will be hearing Sareena make these comments, if anything it's just the beginning and if what I've got planned for the next part is anything to go by, something tells me Vendela might want to stop being so naïve, it might come back and bite her in the backside. :D ;)
Now you've got me interested. ;) It's true that in this story, her naivety was in full display, especially since the first time she's shown caring for the well-being of her victims is not with innocent people but with bandits and pirates... Naivety is an interesting character flaw, and one that's rather unheard from on the stories of this Board. However, her comment of "I just have to trust that they are found by nice people." hints that she's still aware to some extent that her world isn't always a very nice place, and that a bad fate can befall on her victims... It seems to me she's a little in denial about the downsides of her attitude more than truly naive?
It really is just the protagonists I'm struggling with, I don't know why, but I just can't seem to come up with any concrete ideas for them can I. I know what I'm doing wrong, I just have no idea how to fix it.
I sympathize with your plight... I wish I could help. I guess I can try to propose a few leads... In my opinion, there are three forces that drive a character: their backstory, their personality and their goals. The best way to define a character is to take the time to give them these three elements.

(Please note that I hadn't the time to read the previous two chapters, so I may have forgotten about some details if they were given:)

For instance, Sareena and Iris have personalities, but for now they are mostly defined by their rivalry between each other and their pride in their magical abilities. We don't know what is their personality on their own. They have no backstory and, unless I missed a detail, no precise reason to follow Vendela outside of their dislike of demons. They have no goals of their own: they seem to follow the movement as far as the main quest is concerned.

Perhaps the key would be to take the time to give them a backstory? From that point, you can better define their personalities and deduce their goals. A bit like creating a character in a role playing game: where do they come from? what was the social status of their family? why did they leave their home? I don't mean that you have to explicitly write the complete description of their backstories, goals and personalities on your story, just that you need to have them in mind and writing them will feel more natural.

If you allow an example with one of my characters: Jinora (as you see, I chose a secondary character - for a main character it's obvious that they should have goals and a backstory). She comes from a rather poor background, left all her childhood in a city and was bullied when she was a student, which explains why she has a rather nervous and reserved personality and isn't the more at ease when it comes to missions. However, she also worked as a scribe, hence why she's also collected and 'book smart'. Finally, Azeneth was the person who changed her life and helped her gain confidence when they met, hence why she wants to help her in her fight.
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by Trackman281 »

Tirepanted - Thank you very much. I think one of my biggest problems is, I always have the sisters in my mind when I'm writing things, even when I'm tinkering (pun included) with random story ideas for other things, I always some how manage to include the sisters, especially when it comes to jokes and puns, cue Stasis, I've gotten so much into their personalities and their characters that I always seem to want to write them into everything, because I just simply love writing the sisters. :D

I know fantasy is not quite your thing, but please understand that I am truly grateful for you taking the time to read through it all the same, so for this, I thank you whole heartedly. :D

Oh heck yes, we all need to channel our inner Jack Sparrow every now and then don't we haha. :lol:

The uniform stealing scenes themselves were fun to write, I knew I wanted a pirate scene and I knew I wanted the knights scene, but I thought I didn't have enough as there was already a load of scenes prior which were just story, that's when the bandit idea came into play. Yes in hindsight I probably should have renamed the horny knights something else, because yes you are both right, I need to find ways to really keep Tina's stories in one side and Vendela's stories on another, otherwise Vendela really will be just remembered as the cheaper version of Tina's stories. :D :shock:

Have no fear, I want them to meet in the next part and I want to properly show off just how big a threat the daughters can be. :D

Rufusluciusivan - That would certainly make for an interesting interaction indeed. ;) Hhhmmm, maybe Alicia went because she was curious about such an overwhelming force of power rather than actually seeking to obtain it, but her daughters are evidentially power hungry as we caught a brief glimpse of them potentially wanting to retake the throne, so the daughters are probably hoping they can harness the black star to make them even more powerful, the daughters have no morals, no compassion, they are not misunderstood villainess in anyway, I can assure you they are dark through and through, and that's just the way they like it. 8-)
Now you've got me interested. ;) It's true that in this story, her naivety was in full display, especially since the first time she's shown caring for the well-being of her victims is not with innocent people but with bandits and pirates... Naivety is an interesting character flaw, and one that's rather unheard from on the stories of this Board. However, her comment of "I just have to trust that they are found by nice people." hints that she's still aware to some extent that her world isn't always a very nice place, and that a bad fate can befall on her victims... It seems to me she's a little in denial about the downsides of her attitude more than truly naive?


I'll just say that.......Well she doesn't muck up, per say..........But an event causes her to realise that maybe, just maybe, demons aren't the only threat in this world. ;)

It's true, Sareena's character so far has been left in the dark with her backstory, iris on the other hand we got a brief moment of her explaining her backstory in the second chapter where she explained that her clan / village was attacked by a demon horde and she was the only survivor, hence why she hunts down demons, purely out of revenge. But apart from that, that is all we have. :D

Vendela we kind of know, she was born to a demon father and an angel mother, she hates demons because their the one's who attacked her home when she was a child, now we don't know if her parents were killed in the attack (I haven't decided yet), but she hasn't seen them since and now she's a fully grown adult and only views them as the true evil........Although with her being essentially half demon herself, I wouldn't mind if every now and then, her demonic side or, dark side if you like, tries to creep in and almost force Vendela to back her dark urges.......That might be interesting, maybe.

Of course I remember Jinora's first meeting Azeneth back in that alleyway in Pakal, truly was a glorious day, little did I know at the time she'd blossom into that awesome character that she is today. :D

Many thanks Rufus for these bits of much and well needed advice and tips, you've given me a lot to ponder over as to how I can make their characters stand out more and be more memorable, I just need to think how I'm going to properly incorporate it into the upcoming chapters. :D

Tirepanted AND Rufusluciusivan - So you've both been calling Tina's stories the "Clone Saga" have you........Hhhhmmm........Well if you recall even Stasis at one point (the wall breaker that she is) even called out the fact that the series doesn't have a titled name, they've always just be referred too as the Tina stories.......So now I know that this is what you've been referring them too, I will find away to make the "Clone Saga" title become Canon, because it only seems right........WAIT........I have just the perfect idea as to how to make that happen. 8-)
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by tirepanted3 »

Indeed, I think the "Clone Saga" reference was inspired by Spider-Man. Though Trackman's Clone Saga is definitely better than the Spider-Man version. :lol:

Trackman, it sounds like a fitting title. But know that whatever you choose to call your stories, I will happily keep reading them. :)
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Vendela: The New Brood

Post by Trackman281 »

Haha, thank you very much. :lol:

Yes the title's of all the chapters will of course relate to the actual stories but as for the over all universe itself, I quite like the sound of "Clone Saga" it has a nice ring to it and because you both already thought that it sounded good before it even crossed my mind, then yep it is something that is definitely staying. 8-) :D
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