Sign on the Line

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esercito sconfitto
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Sign on the Line

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Sign on the Line.

Skivvington, 20th March 1870.

"Miss Prendagast! Could you please try and calm down? I know that you're upset but..." began Sheriff Annabelle Armstrong in an effort to placate the the furious young lady who had burst into her office a few moments earlier.

"Upset? Of course I'm bloomin' well upset. Those godless heathens have humiliated me, assaulted me and stolen my boots, and all because I took a little shortcut through their silly tribal land. They even forced me to walk all the way back to town in my stocking-feet. I stood on a flippin' cactus for God's sake!" screamed Polly Prendagast as she hopped angrily up and down pointing at her raised foot.

"Miss Prendagast! SIT DOWN!" ordered Annabelle pointing towards the vacant chair on the other side of her desk.

With a "Hrumph!" of indignation Polly plonked herself sulkily down on the chair. She then crossed one of her legs over the other, hoisted her skirts a little and began plucking the cactus spines from her stockinged sole.

While Polly attended to her foot Annabelle patiently and carefully outlined the stipulations of the recent peace treaty which had been agreed between the U.S. Government and the all-female Striphappie tribe. She explained the importance of the young ladies of Skivvington respecting the boundaries of the Striphappie's reservation. She also added that regretfully she had no jurisdiction in the tribe's territory and that Polly had to understand that as she had trespassed onto the reservation she had been punished in accordance with the traditions of tribal justice.

"Justice? What kind of idiotic justice is it to demand that I hand over my ruddy boots?" snapped Polly, waggling her stocking-foot impatiently as she massaged it.

"I'm sorry about your trouble Polly, but there is really nothing I can do. As a matter of fact we recently put up signs along the border to warn young ladies like you of the consequences that you have just experienced. I'm afraid that legally, you don't have a leg to stand on... or in your case, perhaps I should say that you don't have a foot to stand on." said Annabelle with a smile, unable to resist the humour of the situation.

"OOH! You think this is funny?" gasped Polly on indignation, getting up from the chair and resuming her angry hopping.

"No! Not at all!" said Annabelle as she tried and failed to stifle a giggle.

"Well Sheriff, if you won't do anything then I'll go and get my boots back from those savages myself. The hell with the treaty, the hell with the tribe, the hell with your stupid signs, and THE HELL WITH YOU!" yelled Polly who limped stompily out of the office with her nose in the air before slamming the door behind her.

Annabelle shook her head with a sigh of resignation and went back to reading her newspaper.

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Having stopped off at her home to put on a fresh pair of boots, Polly made her way back to the border of the reservation.

"STUPID SHERIFF AND HER BLOOMIN' SIGNS!" she yelled as she passed the warning sign at the border giving it a kick which she instantly regretted because of her still sore foot.

"OW-EEE! DAMMIT!" she cursed before seeing a group of tribeswomen and limped over to give them a piece of her mind.

"Now see here you squaws! Give me back my boots and don't give me any horseshit about your silly tribal laws!" Polly began very undiplomatically, "I demand that you savages restore my property and give me the apology and the respect that a lady such as myself deserves. So there! ... Did you hear what I said? ... Are you deaf or just stupid? ... Get those idiotic smiles off your faces or I'll do it for you, you halfwits! ... What are you doing? ... Unhand me you ruffians! ... Let go of my skirts! ... Get your filthy hands out of there! No! OOOOH! HELP! HELP!"

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Annabelle looked up from her newspaper at the sound of her door creaking open to see her Deputy Gertie Withers on the threshold of her office.

"Erm Sheriff, I think you'd better come down to the reservation. Better come quick!" said Gertie nervously.

When Annabelle reached the boundary with the reservation she noticed some rather concerned young Skivvington ladies standing by the warning sign. The reason for their concern soon became apparent. On the other side of the border was Polly Prendagast. She had her hands tied behind her back and had coarse ropes bound around her chest, tummy and waist binding her tightly to the tree behind her. As for her state of attire, or rather the lack of it, poor Polly was standing in only her chemise, bloomers, corset and stockings while she mewled despairingly into a gag which appeared to have been fashioned from one of her ripped petticoats. Beside her was a roughly made sign which simply read "DO NOT FREE!" Her hat and boots lay on the ground beside her trembling stockinged legs though her dress was nowhere to be seen... Nowhere that is until a Striphappie girl appeared and walked over to Annabelle. The girl was wearing Polly's dress and smiled as she handed Annabelle a letter which the Sheriff opened and read...

"Dear Sheriff Armstrong,

I am sorry to have to inform you that this young lady trespassed into our territory twice today. Furthermore, she has shown complete disrespect to the members of our tribe and to our laws. I should also tell you that you that she had some very rude things to say about you too, my dear Sheriff. In light of her offences and lack of contrition we have decided to keep her here at the border for a few days in order to teach her a lesson and also to deter other trespassers. Afterwards she may be ransomed by her family for the sum of $100, should they want her back of course. I'm sure that Polly Prendagast will prove to be a much more effective warning sign than the ones that you have erected.

Kindest regards,
Chief Little Fox."
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