Pakal

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tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Pakal

Post by tirepanted3 »

An action-heavy chapter, mainly focused on the heroines, with a steady stream of women being unwillingly parted from their uniforms. Good payoff after the setup from the last chapter.

I like the sense of danger and desperation in the first scene, with Azeneth, Jinora and Yisüi under attack and Azeneth even contemplating killing the soldiers. (Fortunately, she chooses to simply leave them bound and gagged.) I also like the detail of Yisüi cutting off her braid to help with the disguise - it's a nice sign showing how much she's embraced her team.

Some good suspense with Yuka and Coulter as well. Yuka taking down two guards with one motion (even as she only needs one uniform) was great. And now we can only hope that Coulter can be rescued...

The various takedowns and uniform thefts that follow underscore a lot of the drama in the chapter. Yuka taking down a rookie soldier and Azeneth luring the three bowwomen into the alley - both women are defined as "predators" in the narration, which is an interesting description showing that our heroines are being seen as threats themselves. They're more desperate and quick to take down their enemies in order to exchange clothes.

There is a bit of light humor near the end of the chapter, with the takedown of the fisherwomen (who are simply too drunk to fight back). Some funny moments including Azeneth blowing on one woman so she falls down, and all the fisherwomen being rolled into the carpets to restrain them.

Looks like Safiye is finally gearing up to sever ties with Tsuki. One wonders whether she will succeed or not - Tsuki appears to be more powerful and unhinged than ever. Hopefully she can be stopped before things go too far (if they haven't already).

I think you mentioned earlier that we're nearing the end of the Pakal saga. If so, it's quite a dash to the finish line. I eagerly anticipate the last few chapters; you've certainly set them up quite well. :)
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1224
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Meditions: I wanted to go for a more brutal scene with Azeneth's first part, and since these characters are not afraid to kill, having a situation where a victim is threatened into compliance (as well as dragging and stripping her colleague) was a nice change of pace. ;) Azeneth was indeed rather mean with that specific guard, but I think it suits her personality. She's in danger, her friends are in danger, she sees no reason to take gloves with her enemy. Plus this fits the (slightly) darker atmosphere of Pakal: These women are fighting in a war, they don't see why they should go out of their way to be 'nice' with enemy soldiers.

To quote a meme: Yuka's magic touch! Yuka's magic touch everywhere! But I'm not complaining. I also love her magic touch. I enjoyed a lot picturing to myself the scene during which she grabs the two soldiers: Two guards walking. Suddenly, a part of the wall near them opens, and from the dark a pair of hands grab and handgag them. They are dragged in the shadows of the secret passageway, knocked out, and the section of the world is closed, concealing the two unconscious women as if they have just vanished... ;)

Tirepanted: Glad I was able to convey a sense of desperation and drama during this part. Things are indeed going downhill for the heroines in this part, and I wanted the uniform stealings to convey that feeling - they're in a hurry, they're in danger, and they're in a situation where they can't afford to take gloves with their enemies. And yes indeed, to the average soldier, Yuka and Azeneth would be seen as major threats.

Yisüi cutting her hair was a small detail, but an important highlight to show her character development.

The comical part in the tavern (personally my favorite moment is Azeneth and Jinora initiating the BAR BRAWL) was in my opinion an important moment to ease the tension... and to highlight the mood whiplash of the confirmation that Rashid's been captured.

Tsuki's and Safiye's arcs are nearing their closure. I won't reveal anything yet. One or two posts left before...

The chapter of set-up was really useful, because now I can have two uniform stealing heavy parts in a row: First there was this part, more action-oriented. And there will be the next part, which shall be a more 'classical slower-paced' infiltration, so you'll see if Coulter will be saved or not. Let's hope, because I realize in hindsight just how horrifying the fate the Mages have in store for her is...
meditions142
Posts: 1249
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by meditions142 »

rufusluciusivan wrote: Mon Oct 11, 2021 6:54 pm Meditions: I enjoyed a lot picturing to myself the scene during which she grabs the two soldiers: Two guards walking. Suddenly, a part of the wall near them opens, and from the dark a pair of hands grab and handgag them. They are dragged in the shadows of the secret passageway, knocked out, and the section of the world is closed, concealing the two unconscious women as if they have just vanished... ;)
I too really enjoy picturing the scene as well. It is so fun to image the two young, pretty guards walking along when, out of no where, a door opens and they are grabbed and quickly disappear behind the door as it closes. None of their colleagues sees a thing. As they are disappearing into the secret doorway the magic touch sends them into unconsciousness. The poor girls never stood a chance!
Trackman281
Posts: 1600
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:08 am

Re: Pakal

Post by Trackman281 »

Hahaha WOW! I was not expecting such an action packed opening like that. Azeneth is such an amazing character and an even better fighter. Those soldiers just didn't stand a chance, seriously, I liked the fighting style, I liked how you described and you provided the perfect amount of detail to really bring it to life, what a scene and this is just the beginning, I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us here. :D 8-)

I also quite liked both the scene with Jinora comforting Azeneth and I quite the little scene there with the hawk.....A bad omen? A sign of hope? Or maybe something else? Hhhmmm. :D

I really liked the scene with Yuka and the two soldiers, I loved the takedown itself and the swift stripping that followed. I also really appreciated Yuka's mindset in this scene, because as we all know Yuka would never just up and walk away just in case her friends or Rashid needed her help, I really liked this scene as a whole because it once again showed us just who Yuka really is and what she stands for. It was nice. :D
“Yuka… Why are you dressed like-” Coulter didn’t finish her question, because she already knew the answer. She shook her head.


Goodness Coulter, were you really about to ask that question, hahaha. :lol:

Oh my god! I've said time and time before, but stuff it I'll say it again. You truly, TRULY know how to write such memorable scenes, because this scene showed us so much. It showed that Coulter is now really starting to warm up to Yuka as she actually went out of her way to save her and even put her own life at risk. Plus, she actually called her "Yu", I think that's a bit of a turning point for Coulter as well. I enjoyed the bit with Safiye reminding Coulter of what she said to her, the last time they came face to face and damn it. Safiye was actually correct. I think this scene as well truly showed how low the mages are willing to stoop, especially now view Coulter as little more than a breeding cow, ready to give birth to dozens of babies. My god this scene was so full of great parts, now I'm probably jinxing myself here, but unless any other scene takes me surprise, THIS is my favourite scene. :D

Okay, I'm calling it.....The falcon is Tsuki isn't it.....She's finally managed to master her shifting abilities hasn't she, I could be wrong and the falcon could be something else, but right now I'm saying that, that's Tsuki following them. :geek: :D

The scene itself was absolutely wonderful, plus it was pretty sweet to see Yisü coming up with the plan to get new disguises, she's really coming into her own isn't she and it's a delight to see. I also really the enjoyed this entire USB segment as a whole. It was a nice surprise to see three bowwomen being replaced and of course once again Azeneth shows us just why she's a sheer force to be reckoned with. But then again writing these types of USB scenes is your bread and butter, and you've perfected these scenes perfectly. It's incredible. :D

Ooooohhhhhh.......And immediately my theory of the falcon being Tsuki get's blown to bits in the beginning of the next scene hahaha! :lol:

And yet another and very creative USB to follow to with Yuka taking down the poor recruit who just couldn't up with her veteran colleagues. A brilliant scene altogether, I loved it! :D Plus Yuka now been reunited with Yisü, Jinora and Aeneth, which means things are really going to heat up now. 8-)

I really am enjoying this Falconer and her squad, they are well organised, their well trained, they are just a really group of antagonists in this chapter and I really am enjoying them. Plus I also really liked the breath scene with Yuka and Azeneth discussing everything, it's those little moments that I live for in your stories. :D

The scene that followed with Tsuki was both nerving and exciting, her scenes always excite me, because I just love to see what happens next, I'm really, REALLY engrossed with Tsuki and her quest in this series and I'm just loving every second of it, so I also see that she's becoming quite heartless now, even by her standards.....Hhhmmm the black stars corruption is certainly growing indeed and I can't wait to see what happens next. :D

Hahaha, bar brawl!!!!!! :lol: Seriously what an amazing scene that was and it was both cool to see Azeneth and Jinora instigate one hell of a scene and it was also quite funny to see. Very well done! :lol:

Hahaha and the good times in this chapter just keep on coming, I loved the entire segment with all of the fisherwomen. Plus one of them actually gave them permission to take her clothes, so long as she stopped talking loudly. :lol: I also liked the bit where all Azeneth did was just give one of them a light blow and she fell flat on her backside. You've written scenes in the past of where our heroines have taken drunk women's clothes before but I think is your best one yet, it was just so well put together, needless to say, I was smiling the whole time. :D

Indeed, Safiye should be weary, because after all, she too may herself inside one of those domes after she outlives her purpose. I must admit, this concept intrigues me and I can't wait to see where this goes. :D

I see what you mean now with this next scene when you said to me before that soon "Yuka would have to go and fight for her man". I see what you mean by this now and I can't wait to see it unfold. :D 8-)

Wow, I actually thought I was about to eat my words and see Safiye get the same treatment as Tsuki is getting, but I was wrong, she's actually being pleasantly rewarded for her efforts and it does seem indeed to be a great day for Safiye and I honestly hope that she enjoys her victory, because after all, tomorrow is a new day and who knows what that will bring. :D ;)

And we round this amazing chapter off with Tsuki already breaking free from her dome cage. And it seems that the mages really are just asking for it, if they are silly enough to leave just one lone guard for Tsuki to takedown and impersonate. Oh well, can't say that they didn't try haha. :lol:

What an amazing and delightful chapter. It was incredibly written and absolutely outstanding. Naturally the USB scenes themselves were top notch as always, but as I said, your a master craftsman when it comes to USB scenes, so it's never a surprise that they are just so amazing. There were some really memorable moments in this chapter and it just never ceases to amazing me that in every chapter, you bring something new, you make me have different feelings with different characters.....Although Tsuki will forever be my favourite character.........I just love everything about the "Pakal" series, it truly is one of my favourite story sagas and I hope everyone can see why. I love the characters (both good and bad), I love the settings, the lore, the USB scenes and just everything else in between. It truly is one of the best and I whole heartily can't wait for the next chapter, as I always feel a slight feeling of disappointment when I reach the end of a chapter, because I always find myself craving more and more. :D

Thank you once again for another outstanding chapter. :D :D
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1224
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by rufusluciusivan »

I wanted to start in medias res with this part. Having a short ellipsis and immediately showing the heroines in the middle of the fight was a good way to fasten the pace, and to not waste time with non-USB scenes.

I'm happy you noticed the little detail of Coulter calling Yuka with her nickname for the first time. Yes indeed, all the character development that started back in Chapter 3 was always meant to lead here. Personally, my favorite detail was that Coulter explicitly mentions that she's NOT sorry. Usually, in such a situation, a character says they're sorry, and that's what she was supposed to say - but when writing, I realized that with the personality I gave her, Coulter would die rather than admit she's sorry when she thinks she's right.

The Mages are very functional villains, and since they are (mostly) men, I don't want to feature them much (for obvious USB-related reasons). It was therefore important to highlight their despicableness in one scene. They are supposed to be the antagonists, after all! Also a way to highlight Safiye's own despicableness, as Tsuki pretty much summed up. We've probably seen Safiye at her worst, and her pettiest, here. When she's in control, she can be a very nasty piece of work if she wants!

The scenes related to the pursuit, and the related uniform stealings, were probably the hardest parts of this post - it's harder to keep the suspense and tension going without being repetitive. There's only so many ways to say that characters are fleeing!

I liked writing Tosca as an antagonist; though as you can easily guess, we haven't seen the last of her. It wasn't for nothing that I took the time to give more details about her in the previous part...

Tsuki's quest is slowly reaching its climax... I'm impatient to finally write the final parts of her arc...

The tavern-related scenes was a ton of fun to write, between the bar brawl and drunk hijinks. Plus, Azeneth is being Azeneth, and I loved it.

Yes indeed, Yuka is going to fight for her man. Or, more precisely, to infiltrate for her man. :lol:

The little fake foreshadowing about Safiye was on purpose. I really wanted to play with expectations here. But ultimately the Mages are not your typical 'Bad Boss'. (Really one of the tropes I find the more ludicrous. Because if you abuse, betray and kill your minions at will, why would anyone still want to work with you?) It reminded me a little of Anna and her fellow rich associates: Them being horrible people towards anyone else, but also being very chummy while with each other.

Oh, Tsuki will stay in her cage a little more time, until she can see if Yuka comes or not. Or until she gets bored.
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1224
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Chapter 6: Part 4

**************

Nahid and her troops had set up a small hidden camp in the creek, hidden by a cliff face.

Yuka, Azeneth, Jinora, and Yisüi were resting inside one of the tents.

Now that they were safe, at least temporarily, the adrenaline and the tension fell back.

Jinora was nervously rubbing her hands together. Yisüi was fidgeting with the talisman made of horsehair that her friends had bought her. Both were staying silent, clearly shaken by the recent events.

Jinora probably had it the worst of all of them. Indeed, she, Azeneth, and Yuka had known most of the people who were presumed captured or dead. However, Jinora was less used to loss than her two friends.

Azeneth was sitting next to Jinora to comfort her. She was also holding a black crystal in her hand. She was pensively looking at it.

“Ironic… We finally have the device that’ll allow Coulter to freely use her powers… And Coulter’s not here…” the metis commented.

Jinora and Yisüi didn’t answer. They were feeling glum.

Yuka was trying to think of a plan.

She had a few ideas. However, without Coulter’s magic to support them, things were immediately a lot more difficult...

Thinking of Coulter was making Yuka remember the redhead’s sacrifice. It was making the shapeshifter feel down.

“This is my fault… She sacrificed herself because of me... I did everything to make her befriend me… and that’s the result...” she commented to herself.

Azeneth didn’t answer. She also didn’t look at her. She simply punched Yuka’s arm.

“Hey!” the latter complained.

“Don’t you dare say that!” the metis retorted. “It’s as if you deny her the right to have free will! Coulter made a choice. She got closer to you because she wanted. She saved you because she wanted. It’s not your fault! It’s not even A fault! It was a choice! HER choice!”

Yuka rubbed her arm. “Sorry…”

Azeneth calmed down, took her shoulder, and briefly hugged her. “It’s normal to feel down. But you’re not alone. You have us.” she added. “We’ll save Coulter. And we’ll save Rashid. And all the other prisoners they have taken.”

Jinora and Yisüi approved Azeneth.

“Your friends are right.” a voice suddenly intervened.

It was Nahid. She had entered the tent while they were talking.

“I’ll help you too.”

Nahid was a tall proud-looking young woman with an oval-shaped face, a fit body, a tall aquiline nose, and sharp facial features. She had a tawny skin, waist-long black hair, and light green eyes.

“The times are dire, but you don’t have to fight alone. I am still in debt to you. You saved my life. Allow me to repay you.”

Nahid put a comforting hand on Yuka’s shoulder.

Her gestures were clearly more informal than they should have been. A little affectionate even…

Yuka resisted the urge to frown.

Little details suddenly added up. Nahid being very reluctant to the wedding… Her refusal to socialize with the men of the court… Her all-female escort… Even for this mission, the crew Nahid had brought with her only consisted of women.

Nahid wasn’t interested in men.

And apparently, the fact that Yuka had saved Nahid’s life had greatly impacted the woman...

The shapeshifter had to make sure that Mehmet III would never learn about how much in jeopardy she was putting his plans of a political marriage. Not only was there a mutual attraction between her and Rashid, but she had also managed to catch Nahid’s interest as well… and without even meaning to!

If the situation wasn’t so dire, Yuka would have found it hilarious.

The shapeshifter saw Azeneth’s little amused smile. The metis too had understood the situation’s irony.

Luckily, Nahid’s two bodyguards entered the tent, sparing Yuka the need to defuse this awkward moment.

Nahid’s bodyguards were women with a tawny skin, short black hair, oval-shaped faces, and light green eyes. They were armed with short swords and daggers, and were wearing similar-looking long dark blue robes covering all the body with a black cloth belt tied around the waist, as well as matching headscarves tied with a headband.

One bodyguard was holding a small flat white crystal. Yuka recognized the device. An other invention of Ghazan’s scholars. It was linked to a second crystal. The two linked crystals could allow to talk with each other.

“Nahid. Our look-out has a message. Soldiers are approaching our position.”

Nahid thought for a moment, then shrugged. “They’re no threat. They can’t find the path to this place.”

Yuka’s eyes widened. “Wait! Are these soldiers led by a red-haired woman? Ask your scout if there’s a red-haired woman leading them!” she exclaimed.

The two bodyguards exchanged a glance, taken by surprise by Yuka’s sudden intervention. Nahid nodded to show them they had to obey the shapeshifter’s order.

One bodyguard repeated the question in the device, and listened to the answer.

“Yes.” she confirmed.

Yuka felt a shiver go down her spine.

“Nahid, we have to leave immediately. This woman’s using a hawk to scout. The moment this bird sees us, she’ll know it.”

For one second, Yuka was afraid the other woman wouldn’t listen. Even if Nahid was from the desert tribes, where decorum was frowned upon, she still was an emir’s daughter. The equivalent of a noblewoman. The sort of person who probably didn’t like being ordered around.

However, Nahid didn’t hesitate. She nodded. “I may have a solution.”

**************

Nahid asked Yuka, Azeneth, Jinora, and Yisüi to follow her.

Yuka and her friends were surprised to realize that, besides the ship Nahid and her crew had used to sail here, there was a second vessel. That one was clearly from Pakal however, and was hidden in a cove. So well-hidden, in fact, that Yuka and her friends hadn’t noticed it when they had arrived.

As they were walking, Nahid explained:

“On our way here, we came across a ship of the Empire’s fleet. We’ve managed to board and take control of it before they could warn the others. The survivors have been taken prisoner. I’m sure you’ll be interested in them.”

Indeed, the captured sailors were all women. They were wearing ample orange blouses with a geometrical pattern of black threads and with ample sleeves rolled up to the elbows, brown ample trousers, red cloth sashes tied around the waist, brown sandals, and red sailor bonnets. They had a Pakal physical appearance: average size, thin body, braided black hair, dark ‘copper-coloured’ skin, oval-shaped head, tall forehead, and brown almond-shaped eyes.

While the rules were laxer on merchant ships, which allowed mixed crews, on Pakal military ships discipline was strictly enforced. To avoid intimacy problems, crews were always all-male or all-female.

Luckily for Yuka, Nahid had captured a ship with an all-female crew.

“Half of my crew, and you four, will take the clothes of these sailors.” Nahid explained. “We will use their Pakal ship to escape our pursuers, and we’ll land in another hidden creek. The other half of my crew and the other escapees will return to Ghazan with my ship, and will take these women with them as hostages.”

Yuka eyed the uniforms. “Sounds like a good plan.”

“Also, I’ll be coming with you.” Nahid added.

This time, Yuka tried to protest: “With all due respect-”

“I’m not one of the king’s pampered courtesans. In the desert tribes, noblewomen are trained in combat. Rashid is my fiancee.” Nahid looked intently at Yuka. “And I still owe you my life. It is time to repay my debt.”

The shapeshifter refrained a grimace. It was clear that this last reason was the most important in Nahid’s eyes.

Still, Yuka and her friends weren’t in a position to refuse. Nahid was a noblewoman, and her personal crew was loyal to her, not to Yuka or even to Rashid.

Rescuing Rashid and Coulter was their priority. They would worry about the other details later.

Yuka nodded in acceptance.

**************

The captured sailors weren’t happy to be stripped down to their underclothes (brown short-sleeved light tunics, and dark beige beige knee-long underpants tied around the waist with a small rope), but they didn’t have a say in the matter.

In no time, Yuka, Azeneth, Jinora, Yisüi, Nahid and half of Nahid’s crew were disguised as sailors.

The real sailors were led inside the haul of Nahid’s ship. They were seated lined up, and then restrained. Wrists were cuffed behind the back with steel manacles, shoulders and upper-arms were restrained with ropes, and so were the ankles, the knees, and the thighs.

Nahid also instructed her crew to gag the women. Thick black pieces of cloth were therefore used to silence the bound sailors.

“We wouldn’t want them to make a fuss before we’ve left the Empire’s waters…” Nahid explained. “They’ll be un-gagged later. If they behave, of course.”

Her declaration was greeted by the muffled mewls of anger and annoyance of her prisoners.

Nahid then didn’t waste any time. She ordered her ship to leave for El Ommeya with the prisoners.

Then, she, Yuka and her friends, as well as the rest of Nahid’s crew, embarked in the Pakal ship. Playing the part of the original crew, they sailed away.

Some time later, the ship’s look-out exclaimed: “There’s something in the creek!”

Yuka squinted, as they were already far away from the creek, and saw figures searching the abandoned camp. Their leader had bright red hair, and a bird was circling above her.

“We were right to hurry up.” she simply commented to her friends.

They kept sailing away. They would hide the boat in another hidden creek, and return to the capital city while disguised as soon as they could.

Yuka needed to collect information for their rescue operation.

******* Some time later… *******

Unaware of the fight that had taken place the night before, people of the capital city were conducting their business like any other day.

It was actually making Yuka’s job easier. Indeed, since nobody was expecting enemies of the Mages to be in the streets, nobody was particularly vigilant.

Therefore, nobody noticed the lone guard hand-gagged and dragged into a small dark alleyway. Nobody heard the muffled cries, the sound of the neck-chop, and the grunt, or the rustle of the dragged limp body. The woman was a ‘Black Headband’, a low-ranked soldier anyway.

The guard had a tanned skin, dark brown almond-shaped eyes, a body of average size and build, an oval face, and shoulder-long braided ebony black hair.

She was wearing plain brown leather sandals, an ample black tunic reaching up to the knees, a leather belt with a metallic buckle, and a black cloth headband covering her forehead, as well as a leather breastplate.

Yuka swiftly stripped the guard down to her black loincloth and a strap of brown cloth wrapped a few times around her breasts and back to cover them.

The shapeshifter grabbed ropes, and ball-tied the woman in a seated position, with her thighs pressed against her breasts, her legs bound together, and her wrists behind her back. She stuff-gagged her with a piece of cloth, then wrapped and tightened a scarf over the guard’s lower face, just to be safe.

She hid the ball-tied gagged unconscious soldier in an alcove.

Yuka took a deep breath, took the guard’s appearance, and slipped into the woman’s warm clothes. Then she exited the alleyway.

With her new identity, Yuka went roaming the streets, to collect information. By the time her victim started to stir and moan in her gag, then to let out muffled cries for help, the impostor was already far away.

**************

It took Yuka a few hours to gather information, then she regrouped with the others.

Her friends, as well as Nahid and her crew, were waiting for her in a hideout. (Rashid was indeed a far-sighted man. Several fallback hideouts were scattered across the capital city.)

“So. What’s the plan?” Azeneth immediately asked her friend.

“We have to act quickly.” Yuka explained. “The Mages think we’re crushed. They think it’ll take us time to recover. So striking back as soon as we can is actually our best course of action. We must act while they’re still complacent after their victory.”

Yuka hesitated, then added:

“Plus, we need to release Coulter before they can…” She grimaced in disgust. “… before they can ‘impregnate’ her.”

The other women shared the same grimace.

“We’re talking about the Imperial Palace.” Azeneth remarked. “We won’t be able to just mug a few random guards if we want to have a chance to enter it.”

“We won’t mug random guards. We’ll pay a visit to a woman who’s been nothing but a thorn to our side.” Yuka answered.

“Explain.”

“Marquess Tosca and her retinue don’t reside in the Imperial Palace.” Yuka revealed with a small smile. “She wanted a less luxurious place. They are staying in a small building, away from the Imperial Palace. We will impersonate them.”

“A smart choice. She’s a high-ranked aristocrat and she’s helping the Mages comb the city, so it’s logical that she would want to enter the Imperial Palace.” Jinora approved. “But at the same time most of her guards are complete strangers… so nobody would pay attention to a few new faces...”

“And currently, most of Tosca’s soldiers are busy patrolling the streets with the garrison.” Yuka added.

“Which means there aren’t many people left to guard her…” Azeneth remarked with a satisfied smile.

“She’s still only human. She can’t chase after us forever. At some point, she’ll have to rest…” Yisüi added.

“And that’s when we’ll strike.” Yuka concluded.

They shared a smile of complicity.

Nahid looked at the four of them. “Impressive…” she commented.

Azeneth smiled. “That’s us in a nutshell.” she bragged. “Wait until you see us in action...”

******* The following night *******

Tosca had been given a small palace by the Mages for the time of her stay. While the Marquess was a military aristocrat and a soldier who frowned up etiquette, she was still a noblewoman. Therefore, she was expected to both benefit from and to respect some decorum

The Marquess was traveling with her own retinue. Therefore, the palace was guarded and manned by her people.

A group of the guards who were providing for her protection were currently gossiping in front of the main door – and one of the two accesses to the inside of the palace with the servant’s door at the back.

The sentries weren’t wearing the same uniform as the bowmen and bowwomen combing the city for intruders. While still practical and made for combat, their clothes were more colourful and ceremonial. They were clad in striped blue and red long-sleeved tunics with white cuffs and a white collar, and matching trousers. Over their tunics, they were wearing a sleeveless leather protective waistcoat. They were also wearing thick leather boots, a brown leather belt, and a metallic helmet. They were armed with halberds and short swords.

The four guards all had the light skin slightly tanned that was common in Bommare.

The first one was called Sofia. She had black hair, and purple-blue eyes.

The second one was called Rachele. She had reddish brown hair, and grey eyes.

The third one was called Paola. She had brownish blond hair, and dark blue eyes.

The fourth one was called Madelna. She had auburn hair, and greenish-blue eyes.

“Did you hear about the bar brawl?” Sofia was asking her partners.

“Don’t mention it! The Marquess is furious! She missed the fugitives because of that!” Rachele answered.

“I heard she used a CHAIR to beat people up…” Sofia commented, in awe.

“How can she be so strong? She’s not even that muscular…” Paola intervened.

“It’s because of her soul-link with Rodrigue, I’m telling you…” Madelana whispered.

“Don’t jest! He’s just a hawk!” Paola retorted. “She maybe sees through his eyes, but I don’t see how it could give us an enhanced strength-”

They suddenly stopped talking when a trio of women approached their position.

Lucilla, escorted by two bowwomen, was returning from a patrol. Tosca’s right-hand woman had several bruises on her face, and a black eye. Souvenirs of the epic bar brawl.

The black-haired standard bearer angrily glared at the gossiping guards.

“What are you doing here? The Marquess’ inside! You WANT her to see you slacking off?! Return to your patrols!” she barked.

The four sentries hastily saluted and complied.

**************

Rachele and Sofia went to the back of the palace.

“Lucilla sure is in a bad mood tonight…” Rachele commented.

“Not surprising. Have you SEEN her black eye?” Sofia retorted.

Rachele couldn’t help but briefly check the surroundings, to make sure that the standard bearer hadn’t followed them. “You better make sure she doesn’t hear you.” she warned her friend. “Or else she’ll stick you with the night guards for the rest of the month...”

“Pfff… Night guards are so boring… Nothing ever happens. We’re in a safe city.” Sofia complained. “I’d prefer to patrol the streets… At least, we wouldn’t be walking circles… I’d want some action!”

Rachele approved her.

They kept on watching the surroundings of the palace.

Luckily, the moon was full. Therefore, it wasn’t too dark.

Sofia took a break, letting her partner take a few more steps. She yawned, so widely that there were a few tears of fatigue.

A hand was suddenly clamped over the soldier’s mouth.

Sofia’s eyes widened. However, her attacker didn’t leave her the time to try to call for help.

Rachele didn’t notice her partner being swiftly pulled into the shadows. A second woman grabbed Sofia’s halberd, so that it wouldn’t make noise by falling on the pavement.

Sofia let out a muffled shriek when she felt the blade of a steel knife against her throat.

“You better not scream.” the woman who had grabbed Rachele’s halberd whispered.

The frightened sentry nodded. Her eyes were wide because of the surprise and the fear.

“Nicely-crafted helmet. It actually covers the neck. Clever.” the guard’s captor added. “I suggest you keep quiet while my friend removes it for you.”

Sofia saw a woman with light blond hair walk in front of her, and take off her helmet. She didn’t dare to make a peep.

Once the helmet was removed, there was the dull sound of a neck-chop, followed by a grunt. Then, the slight rustle of the heels of a limb unconscious body dragged further away in the shadows.

“Sofia! You said something?” Rachele asked out loud, finally noticing some weird sounds.

The guard saw that her partner was nowhere in sight.

“Sofia?”

She heard an other small noise.

The sentry couldn’t see it, because of the night, but it was the sound of a blowpipe being used.

The guard’s helmet was covering the back of the neck to prevent a blow from behind, but it was leaving part of its sides vulnerable. The feathered dart hit Rachele in the side of the neck.

“Ouch! Damn Empire, and their damn bugs!” she complained.

Rachele grabbed the dart. She frowned. “That’s no bug… That’s-”

Too late for her. The knock-out serum coating the dart took effect.

Rachele suddenly felt dizzy. Her hands and legs shook, they were suddenly very weak, and the guard dropped the dart. Her eyes rolled back, and she blacked out. She moaned as she was falling.

A woman jumped from outside the shadows and caught the falling sentry under the arms, to prevent her from making any noise by hitting the ground. With one hand, she also grabbed the halberd, and gave it to an accomplice

Rachele was then dragged into the shadows by the underarms.

A few minutes later, Paola and Madelena turned around the corner.

The two patrolling guards stopped and frowned.

“Sofia? Rachele? Where are you?”

A woman assaulted them from behind. She clamped a hand over each guard’s mouth.

“Mfff?!”

“Wmhhhtt?!”

The palms glowed.

Paola’s and Madelena’s eyes widened, then rolled back. They moaned for a long time.

Their attacker let Paola fall into the arms of an accomplice, who caught the guard by the underarms, while she was keeping Madelena

Paola and Madelena were then dragged out of sight, in a dark alleyway.

**************

Sofia, Rachele, Madelena, and Paola were stripped down to their underclothes. The soldiers’ undergarments were similar: beige short-sleeved undershirts with a few stains, and thigh-long beige open drawers.

Ropes were used to restrain the four guards. The upper-arms, forearms, wrists, thighs, knees, legs, and feet were bound. The women were blindfolded, stuff-gagged, and OTM-gagged with thick rags.

For the time being, the captured guards were laid in a wooden chariot, and concealed with a tarp.

Yuka had chosen to use a small team to infiltrate the palace in order to rescue Rashid and Coulter. They couldn’t be too numerous.

At first, she had wanted to only take Azeneth and Jinora with her. The metis was her best chance if a fight broke out, and Jinora had knowledge of the Imperial Palace’s layout, since she had managed to get her hand on a map of it a few years ago.

However, Yisüi had insisted to come too. She also wanted to rescue Coulter and Rashid, and to make sure her three friends wouldn’t be hurt. Yuka hadn’t been able to find a reason to forbid her to come, especially since Azeneth had taken the blonde’s side. With some make-up and brown hair dye, they had been able to conceal Yisüi’s pale skin and light blond hair.

And then Nahid had decided she would come too, with her entire crew. She had argued that they would need extra muscle if there were many people inside the building. Most of Tosca’s soldiers were helping the garrison patrol the streets, but the Marquess probably had a squad with her. Yuka had been forced to agree with Nahid’s arguments.

Yuka, Yisüi, Jinora, and Azeneth slipped into the guard uniforms.

“Nahid, surround the building with your crew, and watch every access. We’ll neutralize the people inside.”

The other woman shook her head. “I and my bodyguards will come with you inside. In case they are too numerous. The rest of my crew will secure the area.”

Her argument made sense. Yuka was forced to answer: “Fine...”

**************

Yuka, Azeneth, Jinora, Yisüi Nahid, and the bodyguards entered the palace by its back door.

The place was quiet. As Yuka had seen during her reconnaissance, most of the soldiers and members of Tosca’s court weren’t here at the moment.

The intruders were careful to move discreetly, and arrived in the kitchen.

The room was empty, save for two women of the staff who were currently eating some leftovers.

The girls were taken by surprise when they saw a group of guards enter the room.

“What are you doing here?” one asked.

The two women were wearing the clothes of servants: brown shoes, grey servant dresses with long sleeves, white aprons, and white servant caps.

The first servant had short loose shoulder-long black hair, brown eyes, and a diamond-shaped face. The second servant had light orange midback-long hair tied into a ponytail, a heart-shaped face, and blue eyes. Both had a light skin, and a body of average size. They were part of the Marquess’ retinue.

The black-haired servant saw the guard outfits worn by Yuka and her friends. “Is there a problem?”

However, the brownish-orange-haired one got a better glimpse at their faces. “Wait! You’re-”

Nahid’s bodyguards grabbed the servants from behind, and immobilized them. The two women shrieked and gurgled, but Nahid’s soldiers had wrapped an arm around their throats to prevent them from screaming.

Azeneth walked in the line of sight of the two prisoners.

“The women holding you are soldiers by training.” she softly explained. “They don’t know how to non-lethally strangle someone until they lose consciousness. So I advise you to cooperate. For your sake.”

Nahid’s bodyguards briefly squeezed the captives’ throats, as a warning.

The servants nodded. They were frightened.

“Are there other people who will use the kitchen tonight?”

“N- No.” the black-haired servant answered.

“You better not lie. We’ll leave someone to watch you. If there is trouble, they will be forced to execute the prisoners.”

Azeneth preferred to be upfront with the servants. She was exaggerating a little, of course. They weren’t going to harm non-combatants if they could avoid it. However, a good scare would do wonders to make these two comply.

The black-haired servant didn’t change her tune. “N- No. We’re the only ones. The other noblewomen of Tosca’s retinue are visiting the capital city’s nobility. The rest of the staff have come with them.”

“It’s Lucilla who helps the Marquess put on her equipment…” her partner added.

“Logical for a standard bearer. And the cooks?”

“Marquess Tosca prefers eating the food Lucilla and her soldiers cook…” the orange-haired servant explained.

“How many guards are inside?”

For the first time, the two servants hesitated.

Azeneth easily deduced why they were hesitating. “You’re afraid we’ll kill them? Well, be assured that we WILL have to kill them if we don’t have enough information to swiftly defeat them.”

“They are six, not counting the Marquess, donna Lucilla, and donna Alessia… They are eating and resting in the main room… All the other soldiers are combing the streets or are recovering from the fights in the garrison’s barracks…” the black-haired servant finally revealed.

“They’re not supposed to come back tonight…” the orange-haired servant added.

The metis smiled. “Perfect. Now, show us the door of the storage room.”

**************

They escorted the two servants into the kitchen’s storage room, then ordered them to take off their clothes.

The two women reluctantly complied.

Once the maids were down to their underclothes, which consisted of knee-long white one-piece sleeveless slips, Yuka and her teammates bound and gagged the servants with ropes and towels. Each woman’s legs were tightly trussed up. Since these two had been cooperative, Yuka and her friends didn’t knock them out. However, instead, they bound them back-to-back in a seated position. A coil of ropes had been wrapped around both their torsos and waists to pin them together. Each woman’s hands and wrists were bound in front of the other’s stomach. They were gagged with thick grey towels.

Azeneth sympathetically patted the two women’s shoulders. “There, you see? Nobody got hurt. Now, you two behave and stay quiet, understood?”

The servants nodded, and moaned slightly in their gags, to show their acceptance.

Nahid’s bodyguards disguised themselves with the stolen servant outfits.

“We’ll also stash here the sentries we’ve mugged outside.” Yuka decided. “If we leave them on their chariot, they may manage to attract someone’s attention after they wake up.”

**************

Sofia, Paola, Rachele, and Madalena were therefore seated lined up in front of the wall, near the two unlucky servants, who were watching everything in disbelief. The unconscious guards were resting against one another.

“You two will watch the kitchen, just in case someone comes here.” Yuka instructed Nahid’s bodyguards.

The two women glanced at Nahid, but the latter nodded to show them that they had to accept Yuka’s authority.

“The rest of us will neutralize the other soldiers stationed in the palace.” the shapeshifter added.

“I will help you.” Nahid decided.

“I’m not sure one fighter will make a difference…” Yuka tried to object.

Nahid smiled. “Trust me. I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

Once again, Yuka wasn’t in a position to directly refuse.

**************

The intruders discreetly reached the main dining hall of the palace.

The six remaining sentries were eating at one long table.

They weren’t wearing the same clothes as the unlucky Sofia, Rachele, Paola, and Madalena. These six were part of the squads sent to patrol the streets. They were therefore wearing the same outfits as their partners who were still combing the town: brown hooded tunics, dark brown leather protective waistcoats, light brown trousers, green belts, and dark brown leather long boots.

“It’d be better to neutralize them all in one go…” Jinora commented.

“We may need a few more people.” Azeneth said. “Just to be safe.”

“I could go fetch a few of Nahid’s men.” Yuka proposed.

“No need to waste time. I have a solution.” Nahid intervened.

She pulled out a small yellow crystal from her purse.

“One of our scholars’ most useful inventions. Cover your eyes.” she instructed the other women.

Nahid threw the small crystal in the direction of the group of guards. The device broke on the floor, and released a strong white light.

The guards all let out shouts of surprise, and pain. They were blinded by the light!

“Quick! They’ll recover their eyesight in a few minutes!” Nahid instructed the other women.

Yuka and Azeneth rushed inside the main room, followed by Nahid, Yisüi, and Jinora.

Punches and grunts were then heard, but only for a brief period of time.

**************

Six knocked out soldiers were lying piled up on each other. Groaning and moaning.

Since Azeneth, Yuka, Jinora, and Yisüi already had a disguise, they didn’t bother with stealing the outfits of the soldiers. Time was of the essence.

Nahid was the only one who stole a set of clothes, just in case. She grabbed a soldier, and stripped her down to her underclothes: faded orange knee-long underpants and a faded red sleeveless undertunic.

Her ‘uniform donor’ had light red hair tied into a short ponytail, a light skin, green eyes, and a tall fit body. Her face was round-shaped.

While Nahid was undressing the soldier, and then disguising herself with her uniform and socks, Yuka, Jinora, Azeneth, and Yisüi swiftly bound and gagged the defeated soldiers – including the underwear-clad one. They used ropes and rags to tie up the wrists, shoulders, thighs, elbows, knees, upper-arms, and ankles. Blindfolds and cleave-gags were used to silence them.

They left the soldiers in a corner of the room, piled up on each other. The half-naked one at least had the luck to be on top of the pile. Some sort of compensation for losing her clothes, though she probably wasn’t going to notice the preferential treatment when she’s wake up.

“According to what the servants told us, these six are all the remaining soldiers protecting the place.” Jinora reminded her friends.

“Now, only three women remain. The Marquess, her standard bearer, and that ‘donna Alessia’ woman.” Nahid said.

“Don’t underestimate the Marquess. I’ve seen this woman fight in a brawl. She’s probably more dangerous than these six amateurs combined.” Azeneth warned their newest teammate.

“Az’ and I will go look for Tosca, Lucilla, and Alessia.” Yuka informed the three other women. “Jinora, Yisü’, and Nahid… You will watch this room in case someone comes.” She glanced at the crossbows lined up against the wall. “You know how to use one of these?”

Her three teammates nodded.

“Each of you, take one. If the Marquess or her standard bearer come here, threaten them with these weapons. And if they refuse to surrender… Then shoot them.”

**************

Azeneth and Yuka were roaming the corridors.

They knew they had to be careful. Even two against one, they weren’t sure they could win against Tosca if they didn’t take her by surprise. In spite of Yuka’s powers.

They suddenly heard voices. People were arguing with each other.

Yuka made a few silent gestures, instructing her friend to follow her. They approached the people that were discussing.

Two women were talking. The first one had long black hair. She was tall, with a fit and thin body, an oval-shaped face, green eyes, and a light skin. She was Lucilla, the Marquess’ standard bearer.

She was wearing her official standard bearer outfit. The clothes were colourful, save for the plain brown leather shoes. Her trousers were bright red and bright green, with a golden belt. Her long-sleeved tunic was half red and half green, with white borders and with striped red, green, and white sleeves. Over the tunic, she was wearing a sleeveless tabard which was also bright red and bright green, with golden borders. There was the crest of House Montefalco on the front and back of her tabard: a black tower and a red falcon on a white background with gold borders.

However, to their surprise, the intruders also recognized the second woman. Her shoulder-long hair were a shade of blond almost unheard of in the Empire, outside of a few merchants: dark blond, a little orange-colored. They were tied up into a tight braid with a dark blue ribbon. Two long locks of hair were framing her face and falling on her shoulders, one on each side. Her soft round eyes were ocean blue and were slightly bigger than the eyes of a Pakal native. She was of average height; with a body that was thin and fit, small round breasts, and a light skin.

“Alessia…” Yuka whispered.

Or Alessia-Arte Benedetta Lucia Isidoria of House Sforza-Visconti, if one wanted to use her full name. The minor aristocrat-turned-painter who had already once come across Yuka and her friends during one of their adventures. Which of course meant that Alessia had been relieved of her clothes. Weirdly enough the encounter turned out beneficial to both parties, since Alessia was expecting to become the center of all attentions once back in her birth town, once the tale that she had been ambushed and taken hostage by rebels would spread.

Apparently, as she had been expecting, Alessia had indeed received some social advancement, since she was now the official court artist of the Marquess.

The painter was wearing a long emerald green gown with short sleeves over a light blue kirtle with long sleeves, and gold bracelets around the wrists. Her gown had a hard silver grey collar and was fitted at the waist. A sea blue piece of cloth was tied around her waist. Her feet were protected by dark blue shoes.

“Well, looks like there’s a familiar face…” Azeneth reflexively whispered.

Yuka didn’t like much this development. She was still angry and furious that Rashid and Coulter had been captured. She didn’t want to involve people she appreciated in this infiltration. However, it looked like she wouldn’t have the choice...

“I’m sick of it! You can’t all keep this charade forever!” Alessia was exclaiming. Her face was red with indignation. “One can’t live in a dream all her life!”

“Watch your tongue.” Lucilla retorted. “Now is not the time to discuss such things. The fugitives have escaped-”

“It’s never the right time with you! You always find an other excuse!” Alessia interrupted her. “You’re too scared! You’re too scared that she’ll break! But she’s strong! Well, I’m sick of it! If you don’t talk with her right now, I WILL!”

“You better not.”

“Watch me!”

“She’ll get violent!” Lucilla warned her.

Alessia ignored her, and stormed off.

The standard bearer grimaced, but didn’t follow her. Instead, she returned inside her office.

Yuka hesitated to neutralize Lucilla here and now.

However, the shapeshifter could recognize an opportunity when one was gift-wrapped to her.

“Let’s follow Alessia.” she whispered to her accomplice. “She’ll lead us to the Marquess.”

**************

Alessia indeed led them to Tosca’s room. Azeneth and Yuka briefly and discreetly glanced at her from the open door of her room.

From closer, the Marquess was looking as intimidating as from afar. She was tall and fit, with a supple body, a pointy aquiline nose, a triangular chin, and an angular face. She wasn’t muscular, and yet she looked very strong. Tosca had short neck-long red hair, a light skin that was slightly tanned due to her exposure to the sun, and sky blue eyes. Her hair were thick and bushy, with a pointy end on the neck and a thick mass on top of the head. There were a few freckles on her cheeks.

One of Tosca’s palm was bandaged, and there were a few small bruises on her face. However, she didn’t look much hurt. She had apparently distributed a lot more punches than she had received during the bar brawl...

The two intruders listened from outside.

They heard Alessia’s and Tosca’s voices. Apparently the conversation had already begun.

The hawk was watching the door however, and there were a bow and a quiver of arrows within the Marquess’ reach.

“...- surprised to see you, but I think I would have you summoned anyway.”

“Marquess-” Alessia tried to intervene. Unsuccessfully.

“I want you to paint an other portrait of me.”

“Marquess-”

“Do not hide the bruises. On the contrary, they suit me. In fact, it would be best to start the preliminary sketches as soon as possible, before they fade away.”

“Marquess!” Alessia directly interrupted the aristocrat.

Tosca stopped talking.

“Marquess. I need to talk to you about your brother and your sister-in-law.”

“Rinaldo? They’re touring the Southern Isles. He says that the pure sea air is perfect for Beneditta… since she’s pregnant. Their next letter should arrive any time soon.”

Alessia took a deep breath. “Marquess. You can’t lie to yourself anymore.”

Tosca frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Your brother won’t send you another letter. Never.”

Tosca lost her smile, and slammed her fist on the desk. Her hawk let out a cry of anger.

“What did you say?!” the redhead shouted.

Alessia paled, but she mustered up her courage and kept talking: “Don Rinaldo and donna Beneditta are dead. It’s been more than one year now.”

Tosca became bright red with anger. “What are you saying again!? You ALL want to trick me into believing they're dead! Liars! LIARS! It's a CONSPIRACY! You have all agreed upon! You're all jealous because I'm about to become an aunt!”

The marquess grabbed a chair, and threw it across the room as if it weighed nothing. Alessia barely dodged the projectile.

“Get out! GET OUT!”

Alessia literally ran outside the room, as a second chair was flying across and almost hit her.

Azeneth and Yuka retreated in a dark corridor to not be seen by the fleeing woman.

Inside the bedroom, they could hear Tosca break something while cursing. Her hawk was still letting out angry cries.

“The Marquess is pretty strong. I don’t think we can easily best her in a fight.” Azeneth commented. “Not as long as she has her hawk to warn her of incoming attacks.”

Given how strong the metis was in combat, her confession was a telling proof of the Marquess’ strength.

“We need to make her lower her guard.” Yuka commented.

The shapeshifter was thinking of a plan. She was remembering the snippets of the information they had just heard. She was wondering if they could use them to their advantage.

“I may have an idea… Follow me!”

***************

Alessia took refuge in her bedroom. She leaned against her bed’s frame, and took a few long breaths to calm herself. She held back a few sobs.

The painter raised her head when she heard footsteps behind her.

She was handgagged before she could turn, however.

The young woman let out a muffled shriek of fear.

“Calm down. We won’t hurt you.” a voice whispered in her ear.

Alessia recognized Azeneth’s voice. Her exclamation of surprise was muffled by the hand-gag.

“So you do remember me… Perfect. It makes things easier. Can I remove my hand? You promise to not scream?”

Alessia nodded.

Azeneth released her.

The painter immediately started to ask questions. “Is it really you? Why are you here?!” She noticed their outfits. “Wh- What did you do to the real guards?”

“They’re alive, don’t worry.” Azeneth reassured her.

“Alessia, our friends have been captured. We’ll need to infiltrate the Imperial Palace. And for that, our best course of action is to impersonate the Marquess.” Yuka bluntly added.

Alessia hesitated.

“I- I don’t care about the Mages.” she finally answered. “But please, don’t hurt the others… They’re not bad persons…”

“They helped the Mages attack Rashid’s hideout.” Yuka objected.

“They’re dutiful soldiers who obey the orders of their city.” Azeneth rectified her friend. “They don’t know half of the story between the Empire and Ghazan.” The metis looked at Alessia. “We don’t want to anger Bommare any more by killing some of its citizens. If you help us, we can make sure nobody dies.”

Alessia briefly hesitated. “You have already taken control of most of the building, haven’t you?” she warily asked.

“Yes. Only the Marquess and her standard bearer remains. All the others are our captives.”

“I’ll help you. I don’t want things to end up in bloodshed.”

Azeneth nodded appreciatively. The young painter was smart. She knew when to fold them.

“We need to find a way to get close enough to Tosca without a fight breaking out.” Yuka explained.

Alessia shook her head. “You won’t be able to surprise the Marquess. She and her hawk... They TRULY share a bond, they are soul-linked. They sleep in turn, and she can see through his eyes.”

“We need a way to make her lower her guard, then I could knock her out without having to fight her...” the shapeshifter added.

Indeed, after seeing the marquess effortlessly throw a chair across the room, Yuka would prefer to avoid a direct confrontation.

“And I have an idea for that…” the shapeshifter concluded. “Alessia. Can you show me an image of Tosca’s brother and sister-in-law?”

The painter grabbed one of her canvas. The painting was showing a couple. The man looked exactly like a male version of the Marquess. The woman, Beneditta, had a light skin, brown hair, and green eyes. She was wearing a gorgeous green dress.

“It’s truly well-drawn…” Azeneth commented.

Alessia looked a little embarrassed to be complimented. “Everything has been done as per Marquess Tosca’s instructions. She described me every single detail.”

Yuka nodded. There were enough details for her to imitate Beneditta’s appearance.

“If Tosca will lower her guard with someone, it will be with her sister-in-law or her brother.” she commented. “Now, I simply need a good-looking dress…”

“All the other noblewomen of the Marquess’ retinue are away for now. With all their luggage. But you can take one of mine.” Alessia proposed. “They’re fancy enough to do the trick.”

“Good idea.”

They checked Alessia’s wardrobe.

“It would be better to find a dress close to the one Beneditta wears on the portrait.” Yuka commented. “If that’s how the Marquess remembers her…”

Unfortunately, Alessia’s spare dresses were all either blue or red.

The dress Alessia was currently wearing was actually the one which looked the most like the one on the picture. The only one that could do the trick actually.

“Maybe I should take the one you’re wearing… Green is the colour Tosca associates the most with her sister-in-law…” Yuka commented.

The painter noticed that, indeed, this specific dress was the best choice. She blushed slightly. “Oh. Of course.”

Azeneth put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s maybe for the best. If we strip, bind and gag you, they won’t know you helped us…”

Alessia smiled sheepishly. “Looks like there’s no avoiding it…” She shrugged. “At least, the last time wasn’t TOO uncomfortable.”

“We’ll make them look real.” Azeneth warned her. “But we’ll try to make them not too tight.”

Alessia chuckled nervously. However, as she had said, she couldn’t avoid it. She decided that there were worst things out there than spend the rest of the night bound-and-gagged.

The painter unknotted the cloth sash around her waist and removed her bracelets. Then, Yuka and Azeneth helped her pull up her dress from the bottom and remove it, before doing the same with the kirtle.

Alessia was left wearing a light blue smock as underclothes. The undergarment was adorned with silvery grey threads, and night blue borders. Luckily for the woman, this specific type of undergarment covered a good part of her body, only revealing her arms and her calves.

She sat on her bed, and let Azeneth bind her limbs with ropes. At the same time, Yuka slipped into Alessia’s warm clothes.

Azeneth tied up the artist’s wrists behind her back. She wrapped ropes around the upper-arms, above and below the breasts. Then, she trussed up the thighs and the legs. Finally, she asked Alessia to open her mouth, put a thick white clean kerchief from the painter’s wardrobe into it, and tied a blue scarf over her lips to gag her.

Azeneth checked the ropework, and slightly tightened the bonds to make them look realistic. “You’re still okay there?”

Alessia nodded. “Yhs.” she mumbled in her gag.

Yuka finished tying the cloth sash around her waist. “Done. Now, I will-”

The sound of Alessia’s door being opened interrupted her.

Lucilla entered the room.

She was talking: “Alessia. You’re here? I wanted to apologize, I-”

The black-haired standard bearer interrupted herself when she saw the group assembled.

Alessia had the wit to fake a pleading expression and to feebly moan in her gag, as if to call for help.

Lucilla was fooled.

“You criminals! Release her at once!”

She drew a dagger.

Azeneth simply punched her in the stomach before she could finish her movement.

“Arf!”

“Just take some rest…” Yuka commented.

She clamped a hand over Lucilla’s mouth from behind, and used her glowing touch.

The black-haired standard bearer moaned when she felt the effects of the knock-out touch. Her eyes rolled back. When she passed out, her entire body went limp at once, bent in half and fell. Yuka caught her by the waist mid-fall.

“Whew… Close call… Almost forgot about her…” Yuka commented.

“Well, at least we’re now sure they won’t think you were an accomplice…” Azeneth said to Alessia.

The gagged woman simply nodded.

Yuka laid the green-eyed standard bearer onto a carpet.

“We’ll take her clothes. The charade will work better if Tosca is accompanied by her standard bearer.”

“Only Nahid can impersonate her.” Azeneth commented.

Indeed, they needed Yuka to play the part of the Marquess. And Nahid was the only one who had green eyes.

“I have no problem with that.”

They removed Lucilla’s clothes.

The standard bearer was left clad in a light green sleeveless undertunic with dark green embroideries and borders, and light blue knee-long underpants with dark blue borders ,tied around the waist with a string.

Azeneth and Yuka grabbed a few more coils of rope. They trussed Lucilla up the same way they had bound Azeneth. A red kerchief and a red scarf were used to gag the black-haired woman.

Alessia’s wardrobe was huge – a logical thing, since it was meant for members of the nobility and their numerous baggage.

“We’ll leave you two inside this. Don’t worry. We’ll let the door slightly open so fresh air can get in.” Yuka told Alessia.

The younger painter grumbled in her gag, but nodded.

“I guess you’ll become even more famous back home once the story will spread.”

Alessia mumbled in her gag. And this time, it almost sounded like a chuckle.

Yuka and Azeneth laid a dress on the floor, and seated the two bound women on it. The still-unconscious Lucilla was resting against Alessia’s shoulder. Then the two intruders almost closed the door of the wardrobe to conceal Alessia and Lucilla.

Azeneth grabbed the standard bearer’s discarded clothes.

“I’ll gather everyone, and check if the palace is fully under our control. You deal with the Marquess in the meantime.” she said.

Yuka nodded.

**************

The Marquess was still rambling to herself when Yuka returned to her room. There was a cup of wine in her hand.

However, her hawk Rodrigue was still vigilantly watching the door-frame.

Yuka didn’t want to speak out loud immediately, as she didn’t know what Beneditta’s voice was like. She knocked on the open door.

The Marquess and her hawk looked at the newcomer.

There was a short moment of stunned silence.

Tosca dropped her cup on the expensive carpetnwhen she saw Yuka’s appearance.

But then her face lit up. She grinned. Her smile was both wide and unhinged.

“Beneditta!” she exclaimed.

There was an unhinged joyful spark in her eyes. She didn’t even question how her sister-in-law had been able to regroup with her, nor did she realize that it was humanely impossible.

“I knew it! I knew they were all lying! I knew you would come back from your tour!”

Her hawk started to cry. Just like many animals, the bird could sense that something was off with Yuka. However, Tosca shut it up with one glare.

The Marquess then approached Yuka. “Where is my brother? Where is Rinaldo?”

It was the moment of truth.

Yuka took a deep breath. She didn’t like taking men’s appearances, but in this situation she had no choice. She only transformed her face though. Her head blurred. Her hair changed colour. Her facial features transformed themselves.

Until her face looked exactly like the Marquess’ late brother.

Tosca took a step back. Her smile of happiness was replaced by a grimace of terror.

There was an other moment of stunned silence, only this one was a lot more tensed.

“What kind of witchery is that?!” the Marquess shouted. Reacting to her distress, her hawk started to cry again. However, he didn’t dare to attack Yuka.

Now that the Marquess thought that Yuka was some sort of supernatural creature, the shapeshifter could talk.

“It’s no witchery.” she said.

Tosca winced once more. It was eery to hear a woman’s voice come out of a man’s mouth.

Yuka took once more the appearance of Beneditta.

“It’s no witchery.” she said again. “It’s us, Tosca. We’ll never come back. We’re dead, Tosca. It’s been one year now. Deep down inside you know it. You’ve known it since the first day.”

The Marquess shook her head. “N- No!” She fell seated on the floor. The redhead was shaking, and was now looking more like a child than like a military leader. Her hawk was crying loud, as he was feeling her distress, but her mistress didn’t allow him to attack Yuka.

The shapeshifter took a step closer. She was carefully watching the bird of prey out of the corner of her eyes. She had to maintain the pressure however. Tosca was in a moment of emotional vulnerability, and the wine she had been drinking wasn’t helping her to think. However, if the Marquess realized she was being duped and attacked her, Yuka knew she stood no chance.

The shapeshifter wasn’t feeling proud of using her foe’s deepest emotional scars against her. But it was to save Rashid and Coulter. And she was still angry because of their capture.

“Accept the truth.”

“I- I can’t...”

“It’s hard, but you have to move on.”

That last part hadn’t been part of the plan, but Yuka had figured out she owed Alessia something for her help. Perhaps a big shock could force the Marquess to snap out of her delusions…

Yuka took a knee in front of Tosca. The redhead was now within reach.

“Don’t leave me… Please…” the Marquess muttered.

“We won’t come back.” Yuka gently took her face in her hands. “You HAVE to move on.”

The shock ultimately proved to be too much to handle for Tosca. She fainted before Yuka could use her ‘touch’ on her.

On his perch, her hawk let out his last cries, and suddenly went silent and stopped moving. He had also passed out.

Yuka used her touch to make sure Tosca would stay unconscious longer. The redhead moaned and sighed briefly, then went still once more.

The Marquess was looking strangely peaceful in her state of deep sleep. The shapeshifter didn’t know if Tosca would recover from her delusions, but it wasn’t her problem anymore. She had done what she could. Now, she had to rescue Rashid and Coulter.

First, she had to deal with the bird… Yuka hesitated to kill the hawk, but chose otherwise. It would have been needlessly petty.

The shapeshifter noticed a small room with no window. She grabbed Rodrigue, and threw him inside. Then she closed and locked the door.

Yuka admitted it: It felt incredibly satisfying to lock up the hawk that caused them so much trouble.

Then, she swiftly removed the clothes worn by the Marquess. The redhead was left wearing a pure white short-sleeved undertunic with red embroideries and red borders, and matching pure white knee-long undertrousers with red borders and embroideries.

Yuka and her friends had used all their ropes on the soldiers, the servants, Lucilla, and Alessia. Thankfully, in a palace such as this one, there was no shortage of bedsheets, curtains, and tapestries. Yuka put them to good use, and, in no time, she had perfect makeshift ropes. The shapeshifter didn’t hesitate to go all out, as she had witnessed first-hand the Marquess’ strength. She restrained the shoulders, the upper-arms both below and under the breasts, and bound the forearms and the wrists behind the back. She wrapped makeshift ropes around the thighs, the knees, the calves, the ankles, and even the feet. She connected the bound ankles with the bound wrists with one last makeshift rope. A stuff-gag and a thick cleave-gag were used to silence Tosca. Finally, Yuka blindfolded the redhead, as a safety precaution, reasoning that if the Marquess couldn’t see her surroundings, she would have a harder time freeing herself.

The shapeshifter grabbed the real Tosca under the shoulders.

There was no big wardrobe in the room. The military aristocrat apparently preferred to take weapons in her luggage, not extravagant clothes.

Therefore, Yuka dragged and concealed the unconscious bound-and-gagged woman under the bed.

She removed Alessia’s clothes, and slipped into Tosca’s.

Finally, the shapeshifter took a deep breath, and modified her appearance until she looked like the Marquess.

She jumped a little when she heard a woman fake-cough in her back. However, to her relief, it was only Azeneth.

“How long have you been here?”

The metis smiled teasingly. “Long enough.”

“Ask Nahid to come here. We’ll give her Lucilla’s clothes.”

“Jinora can help us with the make-up. We’ll put some on her, and on Nahid.” Azeneth added.

"Even with make-up, we can't hide the fact that Nahid doesn't have the same facial features as Lucilla. We'll snag a spare helmet to cover her head." Yuka added.

"Good idea. As for Nahid's bodyguards, now that we control the building, they can drop the servant outfits and put on spare guard uniforms."

"I'd be less worried if they were with us to protect Nahid." Yuka agreed. “Then, once we're all ready, we’ll head towards the Imperial Palace. The rest of Nahid's escort will watch this building and secure our escape route.”

The easiest part of the plan had been a success. Now, they had to start the really hard part...
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1224
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by rufusluciusivan »

Due to the chapter's length, this is actually the second post. Be sure to read the previous post beforehand.













































**************

Kill her… Then take her appearance… Take her life... Kill her… Then take her appearance… Take her life… Kill her… Then take her appearance… Take her life...

The Black Star’s voice was anything if not persistent. That was probably the advantage of not being made of flesh and bones.

At first, Tsuki had wanted to wait a few more days. In order to see what would happen. Maybe Yuka would try to rescue the prisoners? But the Black Star was impatient. Ever since Tsuki’s latest confrontation with Yuka, Her influence had become bigger. Tsuki could already feel a craving pulsate through her entire body. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to resist it.

“Fine. Fine! FINE!” Tsuki finally answered out loud. Her reaction of impatience was immediately doused by a wave of artificial pleasure.

“Hey, shut up!” the guard watching the prisoner’s magical dome exclaimed.

“No, you!” Tsuki retorted.

“What did you say?”

“I said: ‘No, you!’ The lamest comeback ever. Because I disrespect you THAT MUCH.”

The guard approached the dome of light which was keeping Tsuki captive.

“You think you’re smart? I can’t wait to see the Mages start dissecting you!”

Tsuki giggled. She had transformed her body so that it would resist the magic of the dome of light.

Kill her… Then take her appearance… Take her life... the Black Star chanted.

Tsuki suddenly jumped through the dome of light, and grabbed the startled guard who had foolishly put herself within reach. She pulled her victim inside the dome.

The guard shrieked.

Unfortunately for the woman, the light was designed to hold Tsuki and Tsuki alone. For anyone else, it was as without substance as a light rain. The guard disappeared into the dome of light.

There was muffled sob, and a sickening crack. Then the silence.

Some time later, a woman dressed as a guard exited the dome of light. She looked exactly like the previous sentry.

Except for the unhinged smile.

**************

Safiye was inspecting Coulter’s cell.

The redhead was chained to the wall by the neck, though the chain was long enough to allow her to walk in her cell. Her hands were chained in front of her. A second pair of manacles were restraining her ankles.

She was glaring in silence at Safiye. If looks could kill, the brown-haired woman would have been reduced to ashes in a second.

“You’re sure she won’t be able to escape?” Safiye asked Eztli.

“Don’t worry. These chains are imbued with the Mages’s power. They are inhibiting her magic.” Eztli explained. “Ce-Acatl is preparing the ritual to seal her powers. Soon, she’ll be harmless.”

The mage-woman then walked away, leaving the spy alone.

“Ce-Acatl better make sure there is no knife in the bedroom.” Safiye commented once Eztli was out of earsight. “Because I don’t think you’ll ever be harmless, even without your magic.”

“Just enter the cell, and you’ll find out…” Coulter retorted.

Safiye chuckled. “I don’t think so. I’m not stupid enough to give you a fair chance.”

The redhead looked her in the eyes. Then, suddenly, she smiled with scorn.

“You’re scared. Even now, you’re scared I could break out and find you. Gods above! You’re so pathetic… For years, I’ve tried to imagine who the assassin of my clan was. Had I known she was a wormy coward...”

Safiye got angry. How dared this unrefined Charioteer judge her?

“You talk big for someone whose only accomplishment was to be born with a gift.” she retorted. “People like you disgust me. You’ve been born with your power. You didn’t have to work for it, contrary to me!”

“Some gift it was… My entire clan was wiped out because of that ‘gift’...”

“What’s wrong with being born with a gift?” a woman suddenly exclaimed behind Safiye.

“Who-?”

Safiye turned.

A hand grabbed her throat.

“What?!”

Safiye didn’t understand. The woman looked like a guard. Why was she attacking her?

“If you’re born with a gift, then you were meant to be superior. Plain and simple. Jealous folks should learn to accept it.”

“What?!”

The sentry winked, and her eyes suddenly turned black.

“Ts- Tsuki!”

Safiye gulped nervously. The shapeshfiter’s fingers were longer than what was humanely possible. She had probably made her bones longer. She only needed one hand to grab Safiye’s entire throat. Her arms and legs also looked longer than what was normally possible. Did she also elongate her limbs, or was it a trick of Safiye’s mind?

“Tsuki! I- I can explain everything!”

She ignored Coulter’s mocking chuckle in her back.

Tsuki blinked. A long moment passed. Safiye didn’t dare to speak uninvited.

Then Tsuki laughed: “Good try. Your betrayal was really entertaining… I loved the twist! However, I came to tell you I’ll have to be away for a while.”

Tsuki dropped Safiye. The latter fell seated on the floor, and massaged her throat.

“Where are you going?” the brown-haired woman asked. Of course, she wasn’t going to call for help as long as she was within the other woman’s reach.

“I need to find Yu’… and her insufferable friends too…” Tsuki answered. Huge smile. “Don’t worry. Once I’ve finished my business, I’ll find you back. We’re soul-linked, remember?”

Safiye grimaced.

“However, I can’t have you sound the alarm before I’ve left, right?”

Tsuki’s palm started to glow.

“Tsuki! Wait!”

She grabbed Safiye’s cheeks, and instantly knocked her out.

Tsuki chuckled when she dropped the limp body of the brown-haired woman. “I’ve always wanted to try it on her…” she confessed to Coulter.

The redhead didn’t answer.

Tsuki dragged Safiye to put her out of Coulter’s reach. “There, wouldn’t want you to strangle her through the bars, right?”

Still no answer.

“By the way, no need to call the wardens for help. They’re dead tired.”

Tsuki left the cells’ area. She was chuckling.

“He he he… Dead tired… She doesn’t get it now, but later when she sees them, she’s going to lauuuuugh...”

**************

Thanks to the guard’s appearance, Tsuki went to a roof of the palace without being disturbed. On her way, she mentally took note to come back one day, and steal the appearance of that busty noblewoman who was Ce-Acatl’s mistress.

Once Tsuki was outside, she took a deep breath.

The air was clean. The night was beautiful. The moon and the stars were lighting up the buildings and the streets.

She was feeling on top of the world.

Tsuki looked at the sky.

It was now or never.

In her culture, her name meant ‘the Child blessed by the Moon’...

Tsuki took a deep breath, and grew her wings, tearing down parts of her stolen guard uniform.

Tonight… Tonight she was going to fly! She was going to reach the sky!

Tsuki ran, reached the border of the roof… and jumped.

For one second, she flew. She was happy. Huge smile, and tears of joy. This was what freedom tasted like!

And then she fell.

It was like that insufferable human, Azeneth, had told her. Tsuki’s wings still weren’t strong enough. Her body was too heavy.

The sky, the moon, the stars, were all still inaccessible to her...

There was a sickening crunch. Tsuki actually broke several bones when she crashed onto the ground several floors below.

“Wow… Spectacular failure…” she commented as she rolled on her back.

Her body jerked and bubbled. Her wings grew smaller and smaller, then disappeared, as if swallowed by her shoulders.

She briefly wondered if, this time, she hadn’t pushed her body to its limits. Perhaps it wouldn’t heal itself this time...

The Black Star whispered. Tsuki. Death isn’t entertaining if it’s with you.

Waves of pure bliss pulsated through her body. At the same time, she was feeling her bones knit back together.

Apparently, she was not going to die today.

“What happened to you? Are you hurt?” a woman’s voice asked her.

Tsuki raised her head to look at the newcomer.

The woman was a servant. Her skin was dark, with the same colour as copper, and her almond-shaped eyes were brown. Her braided waist-long hair were dark brown, and adorned with white stone beads. The light of the moon was highlighting her face and her figure. Or maybe it was because of the Black Star’s influence that the servant looked like she was surrounded by a halo of light. Either way, that woman was drop-dead gorgeous! A true beauty, with a curvy body, shapely legs, firm breasts, and a soft round-shaped face.

“Beautiful…” Tsuki muttered.

The servant was wearing brown sandals, a white cloth headband, and a white calf-long robe with a grey cloth sash tied around the waist.

Since Tsuki still had the appearance and the clothes of a guard (and hadn’t her wings anymore), the servant had thought she was an ally.

The woman took a knee. She was looking concerned.

“I’ll help you. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

Tsuki suddenly sprang to life. She grabbed the startled woman’s throat “Better and better.” the shapeshifter commented with a smile. “Your clothes look very nice, by the way...”

The servant’s eyes widened.

Tsuki chuckled.

“You should really learn your lesson. Kindness, compassion… These are flaws that callous women like me exploit.” she commented. “If it isn’t me, it’ll be an other one. Trust me, there are many predators like me out there. And the others don’t need the whispers of the Black Star to take action... Let it be a lesson to you. Next time you see a woman who looks in need of help, kick her in the face and run…”

Kill her… Then take her appearance… Take her life... the voice in her head whispered.

“It may be too repetitive…” Tsuki objected. “I’ve already killed the guard and the wardens…”

“Please don’t kill me…” the frightened servant sobbed.

Tsuki sighed, rolled her eyes, and smiled patronizingly. “You people are so predictable. It’s always the same boring lines with you…”

However, in her body, the craving was back.

“Your hair. They remind me of Yuka.”

Reflexively, Tsuki’s palms glowed.

The servant’s body had a few spasms. She let out one long moan, then her body went limp and slumped into Tsuki’s arms.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to do that!” the shapeshifter exclaimed.

She shrugged.

“Oh well, I guess it’s her lucky day…”

Kill her.

“She has Yuka’s hair. And she looked concerned for me.”

She’s not Yuka. And she was concerned for you because she didn’t know who you are.

Tsuki shrugged. “Meh. Close enough.”

She dragged the servant out of sight behind a building of the courtyard, and stole her clothes. She wasn’t in the mood to rip her own flesh tonight.

“I’ll use her appearance to exit the palace. Changing clothes again will be easy in the capital city. I’ll find Yu’ and her friends. Once I’ve gotten rid of these pesky humans, Yu’ will finally see that her place is at my side…”

And she'll tell you where to find Me.

Tsuki turned her nails into claws, and cut the guard outfit into makeshift ropes. She used these bands of cloth to tightly hog-tie the servant's wrists and ankles, then to cleave-gag her. She left the woman hidden behind the building.

Finally, she slipped into the servant’s clothes.

“Let’s leave. This place is boring.” she concluded.

Tsuki exited her hiding place. She played the part of the servant doing her night shift, and headed towards the front gate of the palace complex.

**************

Yuka and her friends approached the Imperial Palace. They were pretending to be the Marquess and her escort. With some make-up to lighten the skin and black hair-dye, Nahid had been turned into an acceptable Lucilla-lookalike. The helmet was allowing her to hide her facial features. They had also put make-up on Jinora, ironically to hide her Pakal physical features.

Nahid's two bodyguards were accompanying them. They had put on the soldier uniforms that Yuka and Nahid had previously been wearing.

The seven women were surprised to see unrest in front of the palace's main gate.

"What now...?" Yuka muttered to herself.

She and her friends briefly hesitated, but decided to keep approaching. There was no reason for the palace's guards to be wary of impostors. Yuka knew they would have to take risks to rescue their friends. Azeneth, Yisüi, Jinora, and Nahid and her bodyguards all agreed to take the same risks.

Four soldiers came to stop their group. They recognized ‘Tosca’, therefore they became a lot more polite, and asked the women what they were doing here.

“We’ve come to take stock with the search for the fugitives. What’s happening here?” Yuka demanded, imitating Tosca’s attitude and speech pattern. Thankfully, Tosca could speak pakal, therefore Yuka didn’t have to use a foreign language she didn’t know.

“We’ve found Safiye unconscious!” one guard explained. “When we woke her up, she told us it was Tsuki! That whore escaped her cell! She killed a guard and two wardens! And now, she’s on the loose!”

Yuka frowned, as she was devastated to hear about her clan sister’s rampage, but she hid her true feelings. She was playing the part of Tosca. And the Marquess was supposed to barely know Tsuki.

Unaware of Yuka’s internal turmoil, the soldier added: “The Archmage is furious. Thankfully, Tsuki hasn’t released the prisoners… But she can still wreak havoc!”

"Safiye and Astrid are leading the search. We'll find this whore, and put her down for good! Like the rabid dog she is!"

Yuka was maybe devastated to hear that her clan sister was succumbing more and more to her madness, but she was also a professional spy and infiltrator. She could recognize an opportunity when she had one. Because of Tsuki’s escape, the Imperial Palace was going to be disorganized. People were going to run right and left to search for someone else than Yuka and her friends. The perfect occasion to sneak into the place…

They simply needed to reach Rashid and Coulter, and to remove the restrains the Mages were using to block her powers. Then, thanks to Nahid’s black crystal, the redhead could safely transport all of them to safetyn without the Mages sensing her.

Once again, Yuka was careful to imitate Tosca’s accent and speech pattern.

“We will help you search the palace.”

The soldier didn’t hesitate. “Thank you, Marquess. Your help will be most appreciated!”

“Don’t thank me. The pleasure is all mine. We will start with the outer yards.” According to Jinora, they could find a way for the cells by going through the outer yards.

“Good idea.”

The soldiers didn’t feel the need to closely check the faces of Yuka’s friends. They had seen the Marquess’ appearance up close. It was enough for them. They was fooled by the other women’s uniforms. Plus, it would have been perceived as an insult to openly doubt the members of a noblewoman’s retinue.

Azeneth, Yisüi, and Jinora were discreetly glancing at Yuka, but they couldn’t discuss with their friend for now. They knew things were hard for her. They always were hard when Tsuki was involved… They wanted to help. However, they couldn’t offer her their support without ruining their cover.

"Later." Yuka whispered to them.

She could feel their care and worry for her. It was doing her a lot of good.

The guards allowed “Tosca” and her “retinue” to progress further.

The seven women entered the complex of the Imperial Palace.

The first step of their mission was a success. Nobody was suspicious of them.

Well.

Almost nobody...

**************

Unbeknownst to Yuka and her friends, one woman was suspicious of them.

The good news? She was probably the only person who wasn’t interested in denouncing them to the Mages.

The bad news…?

Don’t waste your time with this group. Go in town.

Tsuki was finding it harder and harder to resist the Black Star’s suggestions. However, her curiosity had been peaked. It gave her the strength to refuse.

The appearance of a servant was perfect for discreetly eavesdropping. These women were beneath notice. Nobody paid them any attention.

When she had reached the front gates to leave the palace, Tsuki had been surprised to see a small crowd gather in front. She had chosen to observe them from afar.

The group was led by the Marquess of Montefalco. She was accompanied by her standard bearer, and a few guards. However, her hawk wasn’t with her.

Tosca never went somewhere without her hawk.

Now, most people wouldn’t find this detail THAT odd. Most people thought he was an ordinary bird of prey. But Tsuki knew otherwise. She knew how soul-links worked, as poor Safiye could testify.

“Curiouser and curiouser…”

Tsuki had a hunch this Tosca was an impostor. She followed the group from afar. Because, after all, who could flawlessly steal the Marquess’ appearance, except Yuka?

The shapeshifter was also quick to notice something odd about Lucilla. Her hair and skin tone seemed to be the right colour; but to a shapeshifter’s keen eyes, it was clear that they were slightly off-colour. As if some make-up had been used… Plus, Tsuki had seen Lucilla’s way of walking. That woman was walking differently.

She wasn’t the real Lucilla.

“And folks, this is exactly why humans will always be inferior to me…” Tsuki muttered to herself.

You said you wanted to leave.

The shapeshifter smiled. “Scrap that thought. This night’s just gotten a lot more… interesting.”
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Pakal

Post by tirepanted3 »

And the action continues to build. Lots of setup and tension-building in this chapter, but it mostly feels natural and necessary to get the characters where they need to be for the impending confrontations.

Great development in finally having Nahid join the heroines in their infiltration plans. A secondary character who has been given some unexpected but welcome development now forms fully in her own as one of the team. Some good interactions between her and de facto leader Yuka, who sees her leadership challenged. And yes, fortunate that her soldiers had captured an Empire ship, and an all-female one no less, but it certainly gives us one of the larger mass uniform steals in a while.

The stealth takeout of the guards - first the lone guard mugged by Yuka, then the quartet of sentries taken out by the team - was probably the best part of the chapter. Stealth infiltrations tend to be among my favorites, and there was plenty to like with this one, notably the use of a dart to knock out Rachele (who initially assumes it's a bug). Familiar territory, but handled quite well.

The return of Alessia and Lucilla is another nice continuity nod; great to see how this universe maintains its characters through and through. I'm not sure I fully buy Yuka's reasons for wanting to steal the dress off her back; seems like she may have been looking for an excuse to strip her again. ;)

The scenes with Tsuki were unfortunately a bit less compelling than the rest of the chapter, since she remains such a detestable character (to me, anyway) and too twisted to enjoy following. I did appreciate her not killing the servant, and her drive to continue tormenting Safiye, but she generally comes off as too cruel for the tone of the story, even if her actions do help drive the plot along. Maybe it would work better if the chapter had regularly cut between the heroes' and Tsuki's scenes, rather than put her scenes all together at the end.

But generally another good chapter, with more tempting events on the horizon. Chapter 6 appears to be longer than previous chapters; that's helped it to build the suspense and (hopefully) lead it to an exciting climax. Can't wait. :)
rufusluciusivan
Posts: 1224
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Pakal

Post by rufusluciusivan »

You certainly are motivated to comment so quickly! ;) Thanks a lot! I confess that, lately, I haven't had much energy or motivation to write and even to read. I don't know if it's the lack of sun, my work, or simply me getting tired of writing altogether...

I think it's also linked to my difficulties to find new situations and scenes. I'm glad you enjoyed the stealth takeouts, but as you pointed out I was in familiar territory. No matter what scene I write, I almost always end up realizing that it has already been done one way or another. (We've already had many sleeping darts, sentries pulled into the shadows, and even victims who willingly take off their clothes like Alessia did...) Emphasis on plot and character interactions are my attempt to avoid monotony, but even they have their limits... I guess it's logical after three years of writing and reading...

Nahid's return was an interesting way to change a little the dynamics of the group, but if I am honest I think I didn't use her to her full potential. The idea sounded good on paper, but it's harder to actually give her a role. Or perhaps I lack the energy and motivation to truly change the status quo. It surely would require more efforts...

Yuka was sincerely believing that stealing Alessia's dress was the best course of action. Now, was she right or not? That's an other debate. :lol: Though I think we will all agree that this was the best choice as far as we're concerned! ;) :lol:

I understand your point with Tsuki, and I can relate with finding characters detestable independently from the quality of a story. :P Finding the right balance with Tsuki is so hard, since she's supposed to be both tragic (therefore sympathetic), and threatening and heinous (therefore unsympathetic). Plus, the elements that are meant to elicit some sympathy towards her are often not USB-related, so I end up scrapping a good chunk of them. (For instance, after her mugging of the servant who looked a little like Yuka, she was supposed to have an internal conversation during which she admits to herself that she knows she'll never be able to patch things up with Yuka, she knows she'll never be able to have her friend back, and she knows the problem comes from her; but she'd rather pretend that everything will be fine than face the truth, because an artificial happiness is better than the harsh reality. She's something akin to a drug addict; during her moments of lucidity she knows she can't go on like that, but psychologically and physically she's unable to fight off the addiction.) Though I admit I'm very biased when I write this character, since I have her full tragic story in mind, so I'm very attached to her. As I said before, while her actions are more heinous than the ones of other characters of this board, I tend to give Tsuki more slack because she's not fully accountable for her actions anymore. Characters like Safiye will always be more heinous and detestable in my opinion, even though they're less cruel and murderous, precisely because they are fully aware of their actions. It's for the same reason that I've confessed my growing dislike of some of your characters in recent stories while not sharing the same sentiment towatds Tsuki.

So maybe the change of tones are too abrupt as far as Tsuki's concerned? I admit I've never thought of it that way. After all, the story deals with themes such as slavery and rape. You got me thinking.

Hopefully the climax will be good... Chapter 6 won't be the final chapter, but the arcs of several major characters will conclude. And Chapter 7 willl most likely be the final one. I confess that I really want this story to reach its end, because I think I'm reaching the limits of what this world has to offer, and I'm starting to be tired of writing it. The challenge is actually starting to become to not botch the ending, because I really want to be done with this story. I definitely have lost part of the motivation that carried me until now.

Aaaaand I realize that I was probably sounding a lot less optimistic than usual in some parts of this comment, so I'd like to end by thanking you again for your review and for sharing your thoughts, both positive and negative. I'll be 100% honest: I would have stopped writing a while ago if there weren't a few people regularly commenting. It's definitely helping me!
tirepanted3
Posts: 1934
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:40 am

Re: Pakal

Post by tirepanted3 »

It's true, I comment quickly, if only because I try to read these stories as soon as I can and respond with my thoughts once I'm through. I've grown quite invested in this series, and always look forward to each new chapter.

I fully understand the difficulties in finding fresh new USB scenarios after several years of writing. It's why I try to emphasize the personalities and character interactions even during the USB scenes in my stories, to give them a fresh and interpersonal perspective. And of course, try to find new types of victims, new one-liners, and so forth, in order to keep things interesting.

I think my issues with Tsuki stem from the dark aspects of her character and backstory, plus the fact that I'm not as privy to her internal motivations since she's more unstable than the other characters. This was a similar problem I had with Emery in the Utopia stories. I just feel like these characters don't fully mesh with the characters and stories around them (even if they are well-written and well-developed in the stories themselves). Still, of the dozens of characters in your stories, they are the only two I don't really like, so that's an impressive accomplishment on your part. :)

I look forward to continuing this saga to the end, whenever that may be. And I understand that writing these stories can sometimes be tough, so it's of course your call when you want to end them. I will remain a loyal reader till the finish. :)
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