Story 8: Of tranquility and darts...

[meditions142]

First off, I have to apologize for not reading this wonderful story sooner especially given that you indicate one of my comments gave you part of the idea. Somehow I initially missed it.

Anyway, it is spectacular. This story really shows what is great about your stories. You add in so many fun details.

First off, I love how you start off discussing the “dumb guard” stereotype. You then use that discussion to go right into discussing Piper on her patrol and the fact she is bored with her duty.

The description of her reaction to getting hit with the dart and succumbing to its drug is fantastic. And that fact you describe the scene from the view of both Piper and the intruder is really cool.

I love the discussion between Tiffany and Lizea about the tranquilizer darts. I love the Lizea noting that the previous ones were too slow acting but that the one they just used on Piper was a new special fast acting drug.

I like also how they team up on Annabeth with Tiffany knocking her down and Lizea shooting her with the dart. It was a bit mean spirted of Lizea to shoot Annabeth in her breast. Being a sensitive area that had to hurt a bit more than getting hit somewhere else.

Lizea kneeling down and taking hold of Annabeth’s checks while telling her she is greedy but not a killer is a great touch. And the description of Annabeth trying to get up, trying to say sometime and then falling back and drifting off to sleep is wonderful.

You then provide a wonderful description of the stripping of the two unconscious women. Great detail. I always love your stories as they always describe the victims’ bras and panties.

I like the fact that the drug will keep Piper and Annabeth asleep for two to three hours. There is something great about a fairly long lasting sedative.

One little detail I really enjoyed was Lizea fiddling with Piper’s braid and saying “I like what this one did with her hair...” Again, this is what love about your stories. This is a small detail but it is so great. I don’t know how to explain it but there is just something so sexy about an attacker commenting on something about a woman she just knocked out and stripped

I also like the little exchange “Let's just hope that nobody walks too close... Blondie's still snoring and your braided darling mumbles in her sleep. With the frogs nearby, I don't think this will be a problem. Let them have their beauty sleep, not that they would need any really. Do you want me to wake them up so you can complement them?” First off, really enjoyed Tiffany referring to Piper as Lizea’s “braided darling” following up on the prior comment. And the “beauty sleep” comment is a nice way to let you know Piper and Annabeth are apparently both attractive women.

I also like Tiffany’s comment about the shirt and vest being too tight around her chest. Obviously Annabeth wasn’t quite as well-endowed as Tiffany.

With that in mind I have to say as much as I loved the take out of Piper and Annabeth, the take out of Reyna I loved even more!

First off, I love the comment "We'll probably have to neutralize the guard in the security room if we want to be tranquil." I really like the casuals nature of the comment about having to take out the female guard.

I love how they try to use their disguises to get past Reyna and they ignore her when she tries to talk with them. I then love how in confusion Reyna thinks something must be wrong and goes to call someone.

It is great how Tiffany and Lizea are able sneak into the security room without Reyna noticing. Poor girl should have kept an eye on the door.

I also love the touch about Tiffany, knowing it would be a bit of time before Reyna succumb to the drug, took steps to prevent her from raising the alarm and screaming by pressing her against the wall, covering her mouth and squeezing her throat. I also love her comment of “Why don't you just take a nap, Reyna, just like your two colleagues outside?” to the now subdued guard girl.

I really enjoyed the image Reyna’s brown eyes widening when she started to feel the drug taking effect on her. This is followed by the wonderful image of her Reyna’s eyes rolling back, her letting out (what I can only assume was a rather sexy) sigh and slumping into Tiffany’s arms.

While there was not anything like the “beauty sleep” comment that had been made about Piper and Annabeth, can I assume that Reyna was also quite pretty?

Just such a fantastic story. Thanks for it.

[rufusluciusivan]

As they say, "give to Caesar what is Caesar's". I wouldn't have gotten the idea of Lizéa's dart-gun if I hadn't randomly come across your and darthchloroform's discussion on one of lesther's fanarts. And given the fact that this decision was well-received, and helped making Lizéa a well-liked character, in hindsight it was important to give credit where credit's due. Commenting on it wasn't mandatory just because of this little credit, though I am of course very grateful for this long comment.

I guess in hindsight that this also made this specific story somewhat tailored to your likings. I have to admit that while this story is short and has less ambitions than the ones coming after it, it's still one of my favorite post-Rescue Operation stories - perhaps even my favorite.

The point of this story really was to explore the use of tranquilizer darts, something I think I never (or almost never) used beforehand in my stories, and to try longer descriptions of the take outs and bondages, since in a longer story you sometimes have to give them less time or else you break the rythm of the story. Hence why I had fun taking the time of describing the effects of the darts, the different steps of Piper succumbing to the drug... Having a fictional world allowed me to bend the reality and invent a fast-acting and long-lasting drug with no ill side-effect. It was funny to imagine different scenarios involving dart guns: Piper's scenario where a guard is hit, manages to figure out that something is wrong, but succumbs to the drug before being able to do anything; Amelie and Nera who don't even notice anything; Annabeth who's first neutralized and then knocked out with the dart; and Reyna who has to be immobilized and silenced the time for the dart to take effect.

I liked writing the beginning with Piper's inner monologue. At this point the characters of my stories show a certain self-awareness about their situation...

Detailing the underwear of the victims is one of the most important things to do in a Uniform Stealing story in my opinion, and I'm always glad to see that people appreciate this kind of detail. Same thing with having the characters say funny quips or exchanges from time to time, as the banter allows to give them more personality. Lizéa and her team are among the characters with whom it was the easiest to imagine these one-liners.

Tiffany indeed shares the pain of all well-endowed uniform stealers: they rarely come across stolen clothes that fit them.

Reyna's take out was added later during the writing process, so I'm glad you liked its different steps (from the decision to do it to the actual deed) and the fact I took the time to describe her reactions. Reyna is indeed supposed to be quite pretty, and her sigh was supposed to sound sexy. For the anecdote, the five guards of this story (including Hazel and Leo) are actually inspired by characters from a series of books I borrowed to my younger brother. I imagined them as older-looking versions of these characters. Pictures, courtesy of TvTropes, though as I said you have to imagine them slightly older and with their guard uniforms:

Piper:


Annabeth:


Reyna:

[meditions142]

This is a really good point. You did a wonderful job. While you had five women taken out the same way, with tranq darts, you did a masterful job of making each one different. That really made it fun.

It was funny to imagine different scenarios involving dart guns: Piper's scenario where a guard is hit, manages to figure out that something is wrong, but succumbs to the drug before being able to do anything; Amelie and Nera who don't even notice anything; Annabeth who's first neutralized and then knocked out with the dart; and Reyna who has to be immobilized and silenced the time for the dart to take effect.